GUESS WHAAAAAT! *grin*

I think this is probably the critical point for me. I doubt I'll ever
really
feel "done" or stop feeling a bit broody and nostalgic when I see a little
baby. And that would be true whether I stop now at three kids or whether I
had a fourth or whether I kept on having 'em until I couldn't any more.

My mother started pretty early (22) and had four kids, stopping when she was
about 30. I think she feels that same way, that she always feels nostalgic
about little babies, but that one of us had to be the last. She made do
with cuddling friends' babies and teaching toddlers at church, but she sure
was thrilled to bits when we told her she'd be a grandmother! Heck, her
second grandbaby was just a month old when we told her she's getting a third
grandbaby, and she was thrilled to bits about that too! We could tell her
we were having number ten, and she'd be just as thrilled as she was with the
first one. I love that!

(I don't think ten is very likely for us though. DH and I are young enough,
though, that three or four or five isn't unlikely. Shoot, I'm not even 20
weeks pregnant with #2, and I'm getting broody for a third, lol.)


--
-Sara
Mommy to DD, 2 1/2
And Someone Due 2/05

Every time we have a new baby it necessitates some change in whatever
comfortable routine we have worked out up to that point. I always feel a
little grief for that old life that has to change to make way for the new
life.
But then we adjust and get comfortable with that new life too.

This is so beautiful, Leslie! So true too.


--
-Sara
Mommy to DD, 2 1/2
And Someone Due 2/05

"Leslie" wrote in message
...
Barbara said:

I think this is probably the critical point for me. I doubt I'll ever
really
feel "done" or stop feeling a bit broody and nostalgic when I see a
little
baby. And that would be true whether I stop now at three kids or whether
I
had a fourth or whether I kept on having 'em until I couldn't any more.

I know people who say they know they are done, people here and IRL. I
keep
hoping that will happen to me at some point, because otherwise I don't
know how
I'll stop!

I don't really feel done. There, I admitted it!!! But I know 4 is a
sensible, do-able place to stop. I think more would put me over the edge,
but I'd still love more - lol. I think part of it might be cos Dylan
doesn't feel done, but knows we are, too.

Maybe I should have started very young like Andrea so I could have as
many
as I wanted. But I didn't, and since there are many things I like about
the
life I have now that *couldn't* have happened if I'd started having
children
much younger, I don't regret that I don't have the option of having as
many
as I might optimally want. Does that make sense?

Sure it makes sense. Plus you'd have different children if you'd started
sooner, and you can't regret the ones you have!

Makes sense to me too. Things happen the way they do for a reason


Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

Leslie wrote:

I know people who say they know they are done, people here and IRL. I keep
hoping that will happen to me at some point, because otherwise I don't know how
I'll stop!

I feel exactly the same way! With every pregnancy (and I know that's
only two so far), I go through this contented phase in the first
trimester. Then I start to get broody again somewhere in the second
trimester and it just gets worse from there!

DH has always said 4 is his ideal number, but lately he's started
talking about more. OMG. Following our current pattern of having a
baby when I'm an odd-number old, that's... um... ack! LOL. I bet we'll
stop before he feels done, too.


Mary S. (who has gone from "should we have an only child?" to being a
hopeless baby junkie)

Barbara said:

LOL, you might have to wait for menopause like my grandmother (who had her
last at 47).

Honestly, the only thing that makes me want to stop is that I'd like to still
be young enough to have a little fun when they are out of the nest.


But I know what you mean. I hear a lot of people say they are definitely
done and they really don't *want* any more kids and I think, "Gosh, how
could you not want more wonderful people in your family?"

That is *exactly* how we feel! We were actually talking about this last night
(it started as a conversation about the Star Trek concept of IDIC--infinite
diversity through infinite combinations). Our kids all look so different, with
blonde, brown, and black hair, and blue, green, and brown eyes, and even four
different blood types--and we were speculating on what Lorelei would look like,
and of course all their personalities are so different too! And then for me it
takes on a religious perspective as well, the opportunity to co-create with God
a human being (I mean, what could be more creative or important than that) who
will not only live after us but will live forever . . . I just think the whole
thing is pretty awe-inspiring and I know I'm unusual but I sometimes wonder why
anyone could stand to stop at two with all that potential!



I don't mean to say I think it's bad not to want more kids or to be sure
you're done--it's probably just the opposite--but I totally can't get my own
mind around it!

ITA. Maybe it would be more sensible for us to stop, since we certainly can't
really afford more kids and they can all be overwhelming sometimes, but the
other stuff outweighs that for us.


Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth

Sara said:

I don't think ten is very likely for us though. DH and I are young enough,
though, that three or four or five isn't unlikely.

I used to want ten, but there isn't time for that at this point. I expect we
will end up with six, though.




Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth

Sophie said:

I don't really feel done. There, I admitted it!!! But I know 4 is a
sensible, do-able place to stop. I think more would put me over the edge,
but I'd still love more - lol.

Darn it, Sophie--now I'm disappointed! You were one of the people I was
thinking of who knows they are done. I was hoping there was some hope I might
come to feel that way at some point!




Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth

Ericka said:

Some
people would be better off taking the chance and going forward,
while others are probably better remaining conservative. I
think it just depends on the personalities. For me, it's hard
to imagine not really enjoying another child regardless of the
issues that come along with him or her, but I am blessed with
resources and a personality that usually accommodates that
sort of thing relatively well. Remember that when they survey
parents, a staggeringly high number admit in anonymous situations
that while they would *never* want to give up a child, if they
knew then what they know now, they would have had fewer (or no)
kids. This suggests to me that there are quite a few people
for whom it would be better *not* to go forward if they were
on the fence.

Wow, I had never heard that statistic before! (Although I feel that way on
certain days g).


Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth

Sara said:

Woohoo Leslie! I hope that means a #6 will be coming along in a few
years -- maybe when I have #3!

Well, my husband is the anal type and insists we must have an even number of
children! g He was happy to stop at four, but not at five! I will see how
things go, but would probably wait no longer than three years to have another.




Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth

Sara said:

This is so beautiful, Leslie! So true too.

thanks. :-)




Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth