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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
Need any and all advice! My 5 year old boy just started
kindergarten last Tuesday. My problem is every morning when I drop him off at his classroom, he goes into a horrible fit mode, he's even ripped my shirt on one occasion. I've tried everything. I've tried being very firm with him (very), closing the classroom door, etc. I've tried "talking" to him - nothing works. I've tried dropping him off at the curb (they have a car system where a teacher will walk the k'gartners to their class) and its even worse. Physically he's a big and strong kid, which doesn't help. I'm at my wits end and have no idea what to do. His dad and I have tried talking to him about it at home, but bottom line: when he gets to the door of the classroom, he freaks out. Please help!! Going crazy and feeling sad - Kim. |
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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
Kimberly wrote:
: Need any and all advice! My 5 year old boy just started : kindergarten last Tuesday. My problem is every morning when I drop : him off at his classroom, he goes into a horrible fit mode, he's even : ripped my shirt on one occasion. If your child has not shown this degree of separation anxiety before, I'd make sure you volunteer to help out in the classroom ASAP. If for some reason you are unable to volunteer during kindergarten hours, seek out another parent who volunteers quite regularly in the classroom and ask what they perceive to be the problem. What I have found in my travels as a frequent school volunteer is that teachers are not perfect and fall prey to the same personality conflicts we as adults have with other people. However, in the case of a teacher having a poor personality fit with a student, the imbalance of power is quite intense. Often times, active boys are particularly singled out as problem students in kindergarten classrooms and school time can be pure misery to them if they don't have a teacher who is able to handle their hyperactivity well. In addition to all that, I'd ask the teacher in a very non-threatening way how things are going in the class. Don't always trust teachers when say things are going well. Unless a child is ready to be sent to the principal for incorrigible behaviour, some teachers will tell you everything is going fine. Ask if the teacher has had to dole out any kind of light punishment, such as time outs, for poor behaviour in the class. Tell the teacher you want to work out any behaviour problems early on before things get out of hand. Let the teacher know you're there to back her up as a team in handling any problem behaviors your son might have in the class but that you must be kept informed of your child's progress each week. I'd jump on this one right away. Now is the time to ask to change teachers in the first week to find a better fit. Although unusual, there are some teachers who are a poor fit in dealing with kindergarten students. And all this talk may be unnecessary if your child has always shown this kind of separation anxiety. But if this kind of behavior was no evident in preschool, you need to reevaluate the teacher and even maybe your son's readiness for kindergarten if things don't resolve within the next few weeks. Crying on the first day of kindergarten is normal. Crying for an entire week and nearly tearing off the mom's shirt seems to speak of a bigger problem than separation anxiety to me. Noreen |
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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
Kimberly wrote in :
[snip] Need any and all advice! My 5 year old boy just started kindergarten last Tuesday. My problem is every morning when I drop him off at his classroom, he goes into a horrible fit mode, he's even ripped my shirt on one occasion. [snip] Is this the first time he has been in an organised setting like this, or has he been to pre-school? Has he acted at all like this when you have lft him in the past? -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
In article , Noreen Cooper says...
Kimberly wrote: : Need any and all advice! My 5 year old boy just started : kindergarten last Tuesday. My problem is every morning when I drop : him off at his classroom, he goes into a horrible fit mode, he's even : ripped my shirt on one occasion. If your child has not shown this degree of separation anxiety before, I'd make sure you volunteer to help out in the classroom ASAP. Or the child's other parent can volunteer to help out in the classroom for this scouting mission ... If for some reason you are unable to volunteer during kindergarten hours, seek out another parent who volunteers quite regularly in the classroom and ask what they perceive to be the problem. ... even if he doesn't volunteer 'quite regularly', no? Banty (yep - I'm ever aware of the common presumptions, and think it useful to point them out ...PIA I know ;-) |
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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
In article ,
Noreen Cooper wrote: Kimberly wrote: : Need any and all advice! My 5 year old boy just started : kindergarten last Tuesday. My problem is every morning when I drop : him off at his classroom, he goes into a horrible fit mode, he's even : ripped my shirt on one occasion. If your child has not shown this degree of separation anxiety before, I'd make sure you volunteer to help out in the classroom ASAP. If for some reason you are unable to volunteer during kindergarten hours, seek out another parent who volunteers quite regularly in the classroom and ask what they perceive to be the problem. What I have found in my travels as a frequent school volunteer is that teachers are not perfect and fall prey to the same personality conflicts we as adults have with other people. While this is good advice, I'd caution the OP not to jump to the conclusion that something must be terribly "wrong" in the school situation to cause this reaction in her child. I had one who resisted going to school for several years (sometimes very stronly), even though by all accounts (including my personal observation of the classroom) everything was fine and he loved it there. In his case it seemed to be some combination of not wanting to have to move through the morning routine in a timely manner (he was a definite dawdler) and resistance to transitions (such as being dropped off at school). This happened in multiple classes and none of the teachers could understand it. He always had a great time once I'd been gone for 5 minutes. --Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01) |
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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
Banty wrote in message ...
In article , Noreen Cooper says... Kimberly wrote: : Need any and all advice! My 5 year old boy just started : kindergarten last Tuesday. My problem is every morning when I drop : him off at his classroom, he goes into a horrible fit mode, he's even : ripped my shirt on one occasion. If your child has not shown this degree of separation anxiety before, I'd make sure you volunteer to help out in the classroom ASAP. Or the child's other parent can volunteer to help out in the classroom for this scouting mission ... If for some reason you are unable to volunteer during kindergarten hours, seek out another parent who volunteers quite regularly in the classroom and ask what they perceive to be the problem. .. even if he doesn't volunteer 'quite regularly', no? Banty (yep - I'm ever aware of the common presumptions, and think it useful to point them out ...PIA I know ;-) I'm even more of a PIA. I would go one further and say that it is the school's responsibility to help with this. I'd say that asking a parent - any parent, really - to "volunteer regularly" is asking a volunteer to do what paid professionals are supposed to do: evaluate your child, educate them intellectually and socially, comfort them when needed, etc. Of course, my husband and I WOH, so that very likely skews my perception of what it means to be asked to "volunteer regularly." It's not that my child isn't worth my vacation and sick time. But that *is* all some of us have - limited vacation and sick time. We *can't* "volunteer regularly" or we'll get fired. So it's a choice between volunteering and feeding our children, clothing them, paying the mortgage. Anyway...enough ranting. School is starting right after Labor Day for me and my oldest has "issues." "Issues" that the counselor has suggested could be helped if I "volunteered regularly." Thus my rant proclivity. - Bev |
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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
In article , Bev Brandt says...
Anyway...enough ranting. School is starting right after Labor Day for me and my oldest has "issues." "Issues" that the counselor has suggested could be helped if I "volunteered regularly." Thus my rant proclivity. - Bev Ah, yes - the breezy, cheerily offered suggestions to "volunteer regularly", the school secretary who called HOME with all questions or problems then complained about my inaccessibility until I took to circling my WORK number twice in red ink and pointing two red arrows to it on the information forms, the "we'd like your son to show his science fair project at class this morning, but please come by at 3:15 dismissal to pick it up" - I know the elementary educational establishments utter denseness about working mothers well. Banty |
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Kindergarten - my child "going postal" every morning...
In article ,
Banty wrote: In article , Bev Brandt says... Anyway...enough ranting. School is starting right after Labor Day for me and my oldest has "issues." "Issues" that the counselor has suggested could be helped if I "volunteered regularly." Thus my rant proclivity. - Bev Ah, yes - the breezy, cheerily offered suggestions to "volunteer regularly", the school secretary who called HOME with all questions or problems then complained about my inaccessibility until I took to circling my WORK number twice in red ink and pointing two red arrows to it on the information forms, the "we'd like your son to show his science fair project at class this morning, but please come by at 3:15 dismissal to pick it up" - I know the elementary educational establishments utter denseness about working mothers well. Banty It gets worse in some ways: there have been several times when the school needed to reach me, tried me at home and at a work number -- then left my kid in the nurses office for the rest of the day when they couldn't reach me, instead of calling their Dad! (I was told that they hate to bother men at work; this was less than 10 years ago, and I was, frankly, too stunned to even respond.) meh -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
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