seperated

My husband and I have seperated and our almost 2yr old is having problems
sleeping over at his house. Now she is having problems sleeping in her
original crib at home. She screams and cries. This is not normal for
her. She used to love her crib. I think it's just all the change in her
life right now but what can I do to help her go to sleep and feel safe in
her crib again?

Try giving her a stuffed animal to take with her that always keeps here
safe. Remind her that she can look at the moon or stars out the window,
and they'll convey any loving message she likes to the other parent.

Most of all, just make sure you and your spouse are always telling her
that you love her, that the other parent is a great parent, that
nothing's her fault, and wait it out.

I'll be curious to hear what other people have to say,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

lyvi-loo wrote:
My husband and I have seperated and our almost 2yr old is having problems
sleeping over at his house. Now she is having problems sleeping in her
original crib at home. She screams and cries. This is not normal for
her. She used to love her crib. I think it's just all the change in her
life right now but what can I do to help her go to sleep and feel safe in
her crib again?


I'm not particularly fond of co-sleeping, but I'd let her sleep with me
if it made her feel more secure, and not worry about the crib until life
was on a more even keel.

Clisby

She isn't quite 2 yet and doesn't understand about the moon and stars. She
knows mommy and daddy love her because we tell her all the time. She has
a blanky and a kitty she takes to bed at both places. She just wants to
be in our arms all the time. I think she is scared of one of us leaving
her. I tell her mommy isn't leaving but Olivia has to go to sleep then I
will be here when she wakes up.Nothing is working!!

I think your right. I have even thought about puting a small bed for her
in my bedroom. I'm just scared of producing a bad habit, I guess.

lyvi-loo wrote:
She isn't quite 2 yet and doesn't understand about the moon and
stars. She knows mommy and daddy love her because we tell her all
the time. She has a blanky and a kitty she takes to bed at both
places. She just wants to be in our arms all the time. I think she
is scared of one of us leaving her. I tell her mommy isn't leaving
but Olivia has to go to sleep then I will be here when she wakes
up.Nothing is working!!

Have you considered co-sleeping? It might help her feel more secure. I
co-sleep with my kids. It can become a habit that is hard to break if you
don't sleep well with her but it might be worth it in her case. My older
son, who was very very attached to co-sleeping, transitioned out to his own
bed 95% of the time before he was 6yo so it doesn't last forever. He still
asks to sleep with me on occasion but he can and does stay in his own bed if
I say no.


--
Nikki

lyvi-loo wrote:
I think your right. I have even thought about puting a small bed for her
in my bedroom. I'm just scared of producing a bad habit, I guess.


I don't think of it as a bad habit - it just wasn't ideal for me. When
my kids were that age, they slept in my bed occasionally; but usually I
lay down with them in their rooms (on a mattress on the floor) until
they went to sleep, and then moved back to my room. That might work for
you, too.


Clisby

"lyvi-loo" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
She isn't quite 2 yet and doesn't understand about the moon and stars.
She
knows mommy and daddy love her because we tell her all the time. She has
a blanky and a kitty she takes to bed at both places. She just wants to
be in our arms all the time. I think she is scared of one of us leaving
her. I tell her mommy isn't leaving but Olivia has to go to sleep then I
will be here when she wakes up.Nothing is working!!


YMMV, If it were me, I would just allow her to sleep with me. Her sense of
security is important right now. That is not always possible, but that is
what I woudltry.

"lyvi-loo" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
I think your right. I have even thought about puting a small bed for her
in my bedroom. I'm just scared of producing a bad habit, I guess.


It is only a *bad* habit if you and/or she sees it as one IMO.

"lyvi-loo" wrote:

I think your right. I have even thought about puting a small bed for her
in my bedroom. I'm just scared of producing a bad habit, I guess.

I did not have quite the same problem, but when my husband would go
out to sea, the children would become more difficult. This happened
from the time they were infants, and before they had the language to
ask questions. So I made up a little story about them where I said
that there was a little girl etc etc - lots of detail and lots of
repetition and it was part of our bedtime routine. This seemed to
help.


grandma Rosalie