Ex's

Here's the dilemma - My boyfriend and I have a business together, it's a
web based business. Lately things have been picking up, unfortunatly I
work a full time job(this was supposed to be part time,
when-I-can-get-to-it kind of web-based hobby). So here's the dilemma;
Because it's gotten busier(which is good), he decided to bring in
help...his ex-girlfriend. I have a huge problem with it..imagine that! He
didn't tell me about it until the day she started. He's not paying her
yet, she just happens to have the free time and nothing else to do during
the day. I have expressed that I am adamently against this. I would love
to go work full time on this, but I can't do it for free. So, oh great
wise ones, what would you do? What would be the best way to handle this,
without ruining our relationship? It hurts so much to know that she is
there working with him. I trust him, I just don't trust her. She's very
manipulative.

Hi there hdbabe

hdbabe wrote:

Here's the dilemma - My boyfriend and I have a business together,

Are you sure about this? If one of you is making important decisions about
the business without consulting or discussing it with the other, it doesn't
sound like a real business partnership.

....So here's the dilemma;
Because it's gotten busier(which is good), he decided to bring in
help...his ex-girlfriend.

The keywords that ring some alarm bells for me are "he decided" - as Kate
notes, it should have been something like 'WE discussed and WE decided"

He didn't tell me about it until the day she started. ...... I trust him,
I just don't trust her. She's very
manipulative.

I sort of wonder about the basis on which you place your trust in this man -
while of course everyone has their own standards, for me his actions would
not be considered as trustworthy. And some might see his action in
presenting you with the 'deed done' as manipulative.

On the basis of what you write it seems that it might be helpful for your
future relationship with this man to have some talks about how you both want
the relationship to work, what values you share, and, were it me in your
position, how soon is he going to explain to that ex that the situation is
not workable.

Good luck

David

"hdbabe" wrote in message
lkaboutsupport.com...
Here's the dilemma - My boyfriend and I have a business together, it's a
web based business. Lately things have been picking up, unfortunatly I
work a full time job(this was supposed to be part time,
when-I-can-get-to-it kind of web-based hobby). So here's the dilemma;
Because it's gotten busier(which is good), he decided to bring in
help...his ex-girlfriend. I have a huge problem with it..imagine that! He
didn't tell me about it until the day she started. He's not paying her
yet, she just happens to have the free time and nothing else to do during
the day. I have expressed that I am adamently against this. I would love
to go work full time on this, but I can't do it for free. So, oh great
wise ones, what would you do? What would be the best way to handle this,
without ruining our relationship? It hurts so much to know that she is
there working with him. I trust him, I just don't trust her. She's very
manipulative.


This sounds familiar. You been here before?

Doesn't sound like much of partnership to me. If you don't want to 'ruin'
the relationship and you trust him, leave it alone. You can ask nicely for
him to find someone else who will work for free but that is unlikely he
would find someone. If you trust him but not her, what do you think she will
do, drug him then take him to bed?

T

"hdbabe" wrote in message
lkaboutsupport.com...
Here's the dilemma - My boyfriend and I have a business together, it's a
web based business. Lately things have been picking up, unfortunatly I
work a full time job(this was supposed to be part time,
when-I-can-get-to-it kind of web-based hobby). So here's the dilemma;
Because it's gotten busier(which is good), he decided to bring in
help...his ex-girlfriend. I have a huge problem with it..imagine that! He
didn't tell me about it until the day she started. He's not paying her
yet, she just happens to have the free time and nothing else to do during
the day. I have expressed that I am adamently against this. I would love
to go work full time on this, but I can't do it for free. So, oh great
wise ones, what would you do? What would be the best way to handle this,
without ruining our relationship? It hurts so much to know that she is
there working with him. I trust him, I just don't trust her. She's very
manipulative.


I would be upset that I did not have a hand in the decision. I surely would
not like that she happens to be his ex. I think I would see if there could be
someone else to assist. That is too much of a strain on a relationship and
shame on him for not thinking of your feelings.
V

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"hdbabe" wrote in message
lkaboutsupport.com...
Here's the dilemma - My boyfriend and I have a business together, it's a
web based business. Lately things have been picking up, unfortunatly I
work a full time job(this was supposed to be part time,
when-I-can-get-to-it kind of web-based hobby). So here's the dilemma;
Because it's gotten busier(which is good), he decided to bring in
help...his ex-girlfriend. I have a huge problem with it..imagine that! He
didn't tell me about it until the day she started. He's not paying her
yet, she just happens to have the free time and nothing else to do during
the day. I have expressed that I am adamently against this. I would love
to go work full time on this, but I can't do it for free. So, oh great
wise ones, what would you do? What would be the best way to handle this,
without ruining our relationship? It hurts so much to know that she is
there working with him. I trust him, I just don't trust her. She's very
manipulative.


This sounds familiar. You been here before?

Doesn't sound like much of partnership to me. If you don't want to 'ruin'
the relationship and you trust him, leave it alone. You can ask nicely for
him to find someone else who will work for free but that is unlikely he
would find someone. If you trust him but not her, what do you think she will
do, drug him then take him to bed?

T



There might not be drugs needed.
V

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"hdbabe" wrote in message
lkaboutsupport.com...
Here's the dilemma - My boyfriend and I have a business together, it's a
web based business. Lately things have been picking up, unfortunatly I
work a full time job(this was supposed to be part time,
when-I-can-get-to-it kind of web-based hobby). So here's the dilemma;
Because it's gotten busier(which is good), he decided to bring in
help...his ex-girlfriend. I have a huge problem with it..imagine that!
He
didn't tell me about it until the day she started. He's not paying her
yet, she just happens to have the free time and nothing else to do
during
the day. I have expressed that I am adamently against this. I would love
to go work full time on this, but I can't do it for free. So, oh great
wise ones, what would you do? What would be the best way to handle this,
without ruining our relationship? It hurts so much to know that she is
there working with him. I trust him, I just don't trust her. She's very
manipulative.


This sounds familiar. You been here before?

My first thoughts...

snip

--
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A: Top-posting.
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"hdbabe" wrote in message
lkaboutsupport.com...
Here's the dilemma - My boyfriend and I have a business together, it's a
web based business. Lately things have been picking up, unfortunatly I
work a full time job(this was supposed to be part time,
when-I-can-get-to-it kind of web-based hobby). So here's the dilemma;
Because it's gotten busier(which is good), he decided to bring in
help...his ex-girlfriend. I have a huge problem with it..imagine that! He
didn't tell me about it until the day she started. He's not paying her
yet, she just happens to have the free time and nothing else to do during
the day. I have expressed that I am adamently against this. I would love
to go work full time on this, but I can't do it for free. So, oh great
wise ones, what would you do? What would be the best way to handle this,
without ruining our relationship? It hurts so much to know that she is
there working with him. I trust him, I just don't trust her. She's very
manipulative.

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Looking to find a match/hookup/sex partner?

http://acc17901.com:1000/match/index.html




"hdbabe" wrote in message
lkaboutsupport.com...
Here's the dilemma - My boyfriend and I have a business together, it's a
web based business. Lately things have been picking up, unfortunatly I
work a full time job(this was supposed to be part time,
when-I-can-get-to-it kind of web-based hobby). So here's the dilemma;
Because it's gotten busier(which is good), he decided to bring in
help...his ex-girlfriend. I have a huge problem with it..imagine that! He
didn't tell me about it until the day she started. He's not paying her
yet, she just happens to have the free time and nothing else to do during
the day. I have expressed that I am adamently against this. I would love
to go work full time on this, but I can't do it for free. So, oh great
wise ones, what would you do? What would be the best way to handle this,
without ruining our relationship? It hurts so much to know that she is
there working with him. I trust him, I just don't trust her. She's very
manipulative.

We talked, I cried...He's decided that he needs to maintain a 'personal
relationship' with her. I'm not sure what to make of it that. She's the
grandmother of a child he's raising. The child is not related to my
boyfriend in any biological way. Long story. I guess boyfriend believes
that if he doesn't maintain a 'personal relationship', she'll jump ship as
a grandparent. Personally, I say 'Look out below!'. I have decided to keep
a distance from the business for now, until the emotions cool down.
Doesn't mean I won't show up and surprise 'em. Gotta keep 'em on thier
toes. Wish me luck. I have a feeling this relationship has just about
reached an end. Time to move on..thanks for the advice all.

"hdbabe" wrote in message
lkaboutsupport.com...
We talked, I cried...He's decided that he needs to maintain a 'personal
relationship' with her. I'm not sure what to make of it that. She's the
grandmother of a child he's raising. The child is not related to my
boyfriend in any biological way. Long story. I guess boyfriend believes
that if he doesn't maintain a 'personal relationship', she'll jump ship as
a grandparent. Personally, I say 'Look out below!'. I have decided to keep
a distance from the business for now, until the emotions cool down.
Doesn't mean I won't show up and surprise 'em. Gotta keep 'em on thier
toes. Wish me luck. I have a feeling this relationship has just about
reached an end. Time to move on..thanks for the advice all.


Good thinking.
V