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#1
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4 year old bad behavior?? HELP!!
Well, I'm wondering if anyone else has had anything similar to deal with...
B, lately, just seems to be horrible in his actions. Normally, he's your typical 4 year old, but lately, I just can't handle it. I feel like I'm about the size of a house, and I just do not have the energy, ability or patience to deal with it all. I haven't been working since Jan (due to my job being so physical) and I've been staying at home. I try and fill the day with a variety of activities to keep us all busy and occupied. We went out shopping yesterday. Went to some consignment stores because I was looking for one of those maternity support belts. I didn't find one, but picked up a pair of sandals, couple shorts and outfits, as well as some books for him. As soon as we were about to leave the store, he started kicking and screaming and refused to leave. At 32ish weeks, I really can't carry him at all, and especially kicking and screaming, that just can't happen. I ended up, literally, DRAGGING him out of the store, kicking and screaming. I was tempted to go back in the store, return the sandals he wanted, even though he didn't need them, and the clothes and books as well, but I didn't want to have to stand in line all over again while he screams like he was. He constantly says, "I hate you!" to me, and all I always say is, "That's nice. I still love you." and that makes him scream even more. Later that day, after we came home and he spent the good part of the afternoon in his room kicking the walls and door, we had to leave to pick up Norm from work. We also needed to stop at the grocery store for a single item for supper, and he refused to sit down in the shopping cart, so I told him if he stood up one more time, he'd have to sit in the top part for smaller children, rather than the basket part. As it went, he ended up in the child's seat part, and again started kicking and crying and shouting. After about a minute of threats of going home, I picked him up, carried him out to the car, and we sat in the car while Norm picked up what I had needed. Again in the car, even in the heat that we had yesterday, I had to sit with the windows up and doors closed because I didn't think others going shopping cared to hear him scream like he was. He then carried this on all the way home, and at home as well, where he was sent up to his room until supper was ready. I just could NOT handle all the yelling and crying and tantrum he had ALL DAY. He refuses to have a nap or any type of quiet time during the day. I do not get any kind of nap or resting time myself, which makes me feel totally beat by mid day. Right now, now that I am not working and we are basically on one income, I cannot afford the cost of daycare for him. He'll be 4.5 when this baby comes, and he's able to start school, and the only reason I'm starting him as an early starter in kindergarden is because I don't know if I could handle a full day with him, and a newborn. (Kindergarden is in the morning only) I would have rather started him in Sept. of 2006, but I don't know if that will be possible for me. When Norm comes home from work, he seems to act up even more. When asked to do something, or not do something, he is always yelling NO! which is something he never really has done before. He is constantly losing things he enjoys and I constantly take priviledges away from him. I have put almost all his toys in the bedroom, locked away from him, because of the way he acts. He had slowly earned a few back, but now again, I am wondering if he needs to have them taken away and worked towards again. He also lost the priviledges of a TV show after supper before it's time to get ready for bed. When all the kids outside are playing, he, last night and today as well so far, he was not allowed to go outside and play. My mom had suggested the loss of priviledges (the TV shows, outside play time, etc.) and my aunt suggested taking the toys away, since he really does have way too many toys. Lately, that doesn't seem to help at all, and I'm wondering if I'm going abouts the wrong way with it all. Could he all of a sudden be acting like this because of the baby? We've, from the start, always told him he's going to have a baby brother or sister, and he said he wanted a sister. We found out it's a girl, and told him, and he was excited. Could this be a problem with a new sibling coming and him not liking the idea or something? Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could try or what I should not try? I'll take anything because, really, I can't handle this, and the last little while, it just seems to be getting worse and worse... Anything would be appreciated and I'm willing to try almost anything! -- A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text. Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing? A: Top-posting. Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet? |
#2
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"xkatx" wrote in message news:EUKle.1495018$8l.623112@pd7tw1no... Well, I'm wondering if anyone else has had anything similar to deal with... B, lately, just seems to be horrible in his actions. Normally, he's your typical 4 year old, but lately, I just can't handle it. I feel like I'm about the size of a house, and I just do not have the energy, ability or patience to deal with it all. I haven't been working since Jan (due to my job being so physical) and I've been staying at home. I try and fill the day with a variety of activities to keep us all busy and occupied. We went out shopping yesterday. Went to some consignment stores because I was looking for one of those maternity support belts. I didn't find one, but picked up a pair of sandals, couple shorts and outfits, as well as some books for him. As soon as we were about to leave the store, he started kicking and screaming and refused to leave. At 32ish weeks, I really can't carry him at all, and especially kicking and screaming, that just can't happen. I ended up, literally, DRAGGING him out of the store, kicking and screaming. I was tempted to go back in the store, return the sandals he wanted, even though he didn't need them, and the clothes and books as well, but I didn't want to have to stand in line all over again while he screams like he was. He constantly says, "I hate you!" to me, and all I always say is, "That's nice. I still love you." and that makes him scream even more. Later that day, after we came home and he spent the good part of the afternoon in his room kicking the walls and door, we had to leave to pick up Norm from work. We also needed to stop at the grocery store for a single item for supper, and he refused to sit down in the shopping cart, so I told him if he stood up one more time, he'd have to sit in the top part for smaller children, rather than the basket part. As it went, he ended up in the child's seat part, and again started kicking and crying and shouting. After about a minute of threats of going home, I picked him up, carried him out to the car, and we sat in the car while Norm picked up what I had needed. Again in the car, even in the heat that we had yesterday, I had to sit with the windows up and doors closed because I didn't think others going shopping cared to hear him scream like he was. He then carried this on all the way home, and at home as well, where he was sent up to his room until supper was ready. I just could NOT handle all the yelling and crying and tantrum he had ALL DAY. He refuses to have a nap or any type of quiet time during the day. I do not get any kind of nap or resting time myself, which makes me feel totally beat by mid day. Right now, now that I am not working and we are basically on one income, I cannot afford the cost of daycare for him. He'll be 4.5 when this baby comes, and he's able to start school, and the only reason I'm starting him as an early starter in kindergarden is because I don't know if I could handle a full day with him, and a newborn. (Kindergarden is in the morning only) I would have rather started him in Sept. of 2006, but I don't know if that will be possible for me. When Norm comes home from work, he seems to act up even more. When asked to do something, or not do something, he is always yelling NO! which is something he never really has done before. He is constantly losing things he enjoys and I constantly take priviledges away from him. I have put almost all his toys in the bedroom, locked away from him, because of the way he acts. He had slowly earned a few back, but now again, I am wondering if he needs to have them taken away and worked towards again. He also lost the priviledges of a TV show after supper before it's time to get ready for bed. When all the kids outside are playing, he, last night and today as well so far, he was not allowed to go outside and play. My mom had suggested the loss of priviledges (the TV shows, outside play time, etc.) and my aunt suggested taking the toys away, since he really does have way too many toys. Lately, that doesn't seem to help at all, and I'm wondering if I'm going abouts the wrong way with it all. Could he all of a sudden be acting like this because of the baby? We've, from the start, always told him he's going to have a baby brother or sister, and he said he wanted a sister. We found out it's a girl, and told him, and he was excited. Could this be a problem with a new sibling coming and him not liking the idea or something? Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could try or what I should not try? I'll take anything because, really, I can't handle this, and the last little while, it just seems to be getting worse and worse... Anything would be appreciated and I'm willing to try almost anything! -- A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text. Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing? A: Top-posting. Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet? When my dear son went through that stage, I took EVERYTHING out of his room until his good and proactive behavior allowed them back in. It worked for us. He had a bed and a dresser. Of course he earned them back. Just be persistent. I think it is pretty typical for them to know what is going on that is different. "Who is the new thing coming to my house and it is not a puppy?" Imagine how you would feel, but still don't let him show his ass and if he does, natural consequences work. This is all my opinion and what has worked for me. Good luck and what was the rash? No one ever posted. ::itch itch:: V |
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"xkatx" wrote in message news:EUKle.1495018$8l.623112@pd7tw1no... snip When Norm comes home from work, he seems to act up even more. I'm sorry but I think you should look into this more. Christine |
#4
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On Sat, 28 May 2005 04:22:48 GMT, 'Kate-
wrote: On Fri, 27 May 2005 19:53:08 GMT, "xkatx" the following was posted in blue crayon: Well, I'm wondering if anyone else has had anything similar to deal with... B, lately, just seems to be horrible in his actions. Normally, he's your typical 4 year old, but lately, I just can't handle it. I feel like I'm about the size of a house, and I just do not have the energy, ability or patience to deal with it all. [snip outstanding response] Well, I had some thoughts, but I put your post aside to spend time answering properly later, and while I did, Kate said everything so well I have very, very little to add. I remember four, and it was one of the roughest ages. Blew the much touted 'terrible twos' right out of the water. Everything Kate suggests is exactly what I'd've recommended. Your head's on straight, xkatx. Carry on, and remember the mother's mantra: This too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass....thisss....tooo....shall.....pass.....ooooo oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhmmmm! Cele |
#5
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On Sat, 28 May 2005 13:42:52 GMT, 'Kate-
wrote: On Sat, 28 May 2005 05:34:07 GMT, Cele the following was posted in blue crayon: On Sat, 28 May 2005 04:22:48 GMT, 'Kate- wrote: On Fri, 27 May 2005 19:53:08 GMT, "xkatx" the following was posted in blue crayon: Well, I'm wondering if anyone else has had anything similar to deal with... B, lately, just seems to be horrible in his actions. Normally, he's your typical 4 year old, but lately, I just can't handle it. I feel like I'm about the size of a house, and I just do not have the energy, ability or patience to deal with it all. [snip outstanding response] Well, I had some thoughts, but I put your post aside to spend time answering properly later, and while I did, Kate said everything so well I have very, very little to add. I remember four, and it was one of the roughest ages. Blew the much touted 'terrible twos' right out of the water. Everything Kate suggests is exactly what I'd've recommended. Your head's on straight, xkatx. Carry on, and remember the mother's mantra: This too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass....thisss....tooo....shall.....pass.....ooo oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhmmmm! Cele Reminds me of a "joke" about a mother patiently shopping with a misbehaving pre-schooler. As she walked around the store, the storyteller could hear her say, "It's ok, Anna.. just a few more things and we'll be on our way" and "Almost done, Anna... good girl". He followed her out of the store to commend her, "Your daughter, Anna, is very lucky to have such a patient mother." The mother replied, "My daughter's name is Julie. I'm Anna." It's like that sometimes. 'Kate Oh well. This monitor was on its last legs anyway. [still chuckling] Cele |
#6
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"CME" wrote in message news:t_Rle.22275$wr.3629@clgrps12... "xkatx" wrote in message news:EUKle.1495018$8l.623112@pd7tw1no... snip When Norm comes home from work, he seems to act up even more. I'm sorry but I think you should look into this more. Christine Actually, this was a major concern for me at first, and still is every now and then. Right from the start, Norm was the one who seemed to have kept him in check. I was the one, I know and admit, who kind of let any and all discipline slide from the beginning. I found growing up that my dad was always the authority figure, and he was the one to fear the most when in trouble. I think this is something similar. I found he's worse for me, anyways, and I just can't seem to get discipline down, since I didn't from almost day 1. THAT, I know, is definitely my fault and no one elses. Even to this day, he listens better to Norm than he does to me. I guess he knows that he can get away with more with me. Right from the start, he has always, I guess for lack of a better word, shown more respect to Norm as far as behaviour. It's just lately that he won't listen to anyone, really. He had even told my mom off, kind of, when he was asked to pick up his toys when we were there, and normally he always does with no problem, but he told my mom no, and then I ended up picking up the toys while he screamed and put the toys away so next time, the toys I picked up, would not be there for him. He then started kicking and screaming when it was time to leave, which is something he's never done at my parents' place. |
#7
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"V" wrote in message ... "xkatx" wrote in message news:EUKle.1495018$8l.623112@pd7tw1no... Well, I'm wondering if anyone else has had anything similar to deal with... B, lately, just seems to be horrible in his actions. Normally, he's your typical 4 year old, but lately, I just can't handle it. I feel like I'm about the size of a house, and I just do not have the energy, ability or patience to deal with it all. I haven't been working since Jan (due to my job being so physical) and I've been staying at home. I try and fill the day with a variety of activities to keep us all busy and occupied. We went out shopping yesterday. Went to some consignment stores because I was looking for one of those maternity support belts. I didn't find one, but picked up a pair of sandals, couple shorts and outfits, as well as some books for him. As soon as we were about to leave the store, he started kicking and screaming and refused to leave. At 32ish weeks, I really can't carry him at all, and especially kicking and screaming, that just can't happen. I ended up, literally, DRAGGING him out of the store, kicking and screaming. I was tempted to go back in the store, return the sandals he wanted, even though he didn't need them, and the clothes and books as well, but I didn't want to have to stand in line all over again while he screams like he was. He constantly says, "I hate you!" to me, and all I always say is, "That's nice. I still love you." and that makes him scream even more. Later that day, after we came home and he spent the good part of the afternoon in his room kicking the walls and door, we had to leave to pick up Norm from work. We also needed to stop at the grocery store for a single item for supper, and he refused to sit down in the shopping cart, so I told him if he stood up one more time, he'd have to sit in the top part for smaller children, rather than the basket part. As it went, he ended up in the child's seat part, and again started kicking and crying and shouting. After about a minute of threats of going home, I picked him up, carried him out to the car, and we sat in the car while Norm picked up what I had needed. Again in the car, even in the heat that we had yesterday, I had to sit with the windows up and doors closed because I didn't think others going shopping cared to hear him scream like he was. He then carried this on all the way home, and at home as well, where he was sent up to his room until supper was ready. I just could NOT handle all the yelling and crying and tantrum he had ALL DAY. He refuses to have a nap or any type of quiet time during the day. I do not get any kind of nap or resting time myself, which makes me feel totally beat by mid day. Right now, now that I am not working and we are basically on one income, I cannot afford the cost of daycare for him. He'll be 4.5 when this baby comes, and he's able to start school, and the only reason I'm starting him as an early starter in kindergarden is because I don't know if I could handle a full day with him, and a newborn. (Kindergarden is in the morning only) I would have rather started him in Sept. of 2006, but I don't know if that will be possible for me. When Norm comes home from work, he seems to act up even more. When asked to do something, or not do something, he is always yelling NO! which is something he never really has done before. He is constantly losing things he enjoys and I constantly take priviledges away from him. I have put almost all his toys in the bedroom, locked away from him, because of the way he acts. He had slowly earned a few back, but now again, I am wondering if he needs to have them taken away and worked towards again. He also lost the priviledges of a TV show after supper before it's time to get ready for bed. When all the kids outside are playing, he, last night and today as well so far, he was not allowed to go outside and play. My mom had suggested the loss of priviledges (the TV shows, outside play time, etc.) and my aunt suggested taking the toys away, since he really does have way too many toys. Lately, that doesn't seem to help at all, and I'm wondering if I'm going abouts the wrong way with it all. Could he all of a sudden be acting like this because of the baby? We've, from the start, always told him he's going to have a baby brother or sister, and he said he wanted a sister. We found out it's a girl, and told him, and he was excited. Could this be a problem with a new sibling coming and him not liking the idea or something? Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could try or what I should not try? I'll take anything because, really, I can't handle this, and the last little while, it just seems to be getting worse and worse... Anything would be appreciated and I'm willing to try almost anything! -- A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text. Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing? A: Top-posting. Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet? When my dear son went through that stage, I took EVERYTHING out of his room until his good and proactive behavior allowed them back in. It worked for us. He had a bed and a dresser. Of course he earned them back. Just be persistent. I think it is pretty typical for them to know what is going on that is different. "Who is the new thing coming to my house and it is not a puppy?" I did that too not long ago. There were a few items that I couldn't take out of his room, such as his giant train table, but the parts for it were all gone (the trains, tracks, little guys, trees and all that) and he was left with his bed, dresser, train table, book case. I packed everything in boxes, and as he earned them back, he was allowed to go through a box and pick out a couple toys he wanted. I'm now thinking (after I had suggested from someone) that I keep all the boxes, let him earn one box back at a time (they're small boxes) and once he earns, let's say, 4 boxes back, allow him to then rotate boxes and pick a new box and stash the other one away for rotation. He just really does have too many toys, and I don't think I've bought 1/5th of what he has. I've also made it clear that I would like gifts of toys to be limited. Books, clothing and other things he can use are perfect, and the odd new toy, but really, if in boxes for a little while and rotated, wouldn't some of the older toys be almost like new toys if he hasn't seen them for a few months? Imagine how you would feel, but still don't let him show his ass and if he does, natural consequences work. This is all my opinion and what has worked for me. Yes, thank you. I'll definitely give it a try. The last little while, nothing seems to be working, which is why I'll take everything into consideration. I try and keep the yelling to as little as possible, since I know for a fact (from when I was growing up even) that yelling doesn't work, so I've always tried to stay away from yelling. I've tried giving him a little slap on the hands for some things, like, for example, when he's been told not to play with the plug ins and still does. But for something like when he hits me, or tries to, all I do is grab his hands and hold them tight enough for him to not get out, but not tight enough to actually hurt. Again, I find, from growing up myself, that spankings hadn't worked for me, so I really find no real point in that. Plus, I think if I hit, it will just reinforce his idea that hitting is alright to do, which really, I don't believe it is. Good luck and what was the rash? No one ever posted. ::itch itch:: V That's because I still don't know... It doesn't bother me, and my doc has no real concerns about it, so I have let it be for now. It actually seems to be less spread out over me, so I dunno. |
#8
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"xkatx" wrote in message news:Vt1me.1503127$6l.1201465@pd7tw2no... snippage I try and keep the yelling to as little as possible, since I know for a fact (from when I was growing up even) that yelling doesn't work, so I've always tried to stay away from yelling. I truly see moms yelling and it makes them look out of control; plus when you do raise the voice, they know it is all about to go down in tiny town. snip Plus, I think if I hit, it will just reinforce his idea that hitting is alright to do, which really, I don't believe it is. I used to disagree but I agree after parenting and seeing other's parenting choices. Hitting, spanking, etc. does not work. That's because I still don't know... It doesn't bother me, and my doc has no real concerns about it, so I have let it be for now. It actually seems to be less spread out over me, so I dunno. Bless your heart. Well, as long it is not bothersome who cares. Maybe it will go away soon. Good luck with the four year old attitude!! I feel your pain honey! V |
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