Sometimes a Brat Is Just A Brat

Don't be one of those parents who lets your kid get like this!

http://tinyurl.com/8t5eo


Sometimes A Brat Is Just A Brat Who Needs A Spank
May 3, 2005
By LOENARD PITTS

Put the handcuffs aside. We'll get back to them in a minute.

Frankly, there's something else on that video that troubles me almost
as much. And if you're saying to yourself, "What video?" well ...
welcome home. How are things in the rainforest?

Here in the States, everybody's talking about a much-televised video -
shot in March but made public last week - of a 5-year-old in St.
Petersburg, Fla., being taken into custody by police officers after
throwing a tantrum at school. Ja'eisha Scott cries out as her arms are
pinioned behind her.

As I said, we'll get to that. For now, let's talk about what the
half-hour video shows in the moments before police arrive. I've seen
temper tantrums before - I've got five kids - but this one was
different. Not because the child seemed out of control but, rather,
because she seemed so very much in control.

This wasn't stomping and shouting and throwing a fit. This was walking
over to a shelf and sweeping items off it. Walking to a wall and
snatching photos down. Walking across the room to pick things up and
break them. Walking back and forth, in no apparent hurry, methodically
wrecking the room with the calm deliberateness of someone who knows you
can't do a thing to stop her. And then punching at the hapless
administrator who kept telling her this behavior was "unacceptable."

Beg pardon, but am I the only benighted member of the old school who
wanted to spank that child's backside?

Not "beat." Not "abuse." But spank? Definitely.

Granted, I don't know anything about this girl. Maybe she has emotional
problems. Maybe she's been mistreated. Maybe there are mitigating
factors. In which case, I'll be the first to admit I'm wrong.

But assuming I'm not, assuming Ja'eisha is what she appears - a brat in
a snit - you have to ask yourself if anybody has ever laid down the law
to her, said no and made it stick, socialized her. It's a job, I hasten
to add, that begins not with schools, but with parents.

Of course, no one seems to be doing the job these days, so tremulous
are we about bruising fragile self-esteem. Small wonder we wind up in a
place where adults are helpless before the furies of children.

What happened in St. Pete is but the most widely publicized episode in
what seems a mini-epidemic. Last year, a kindergartner in St. Louis was
handcuffed for disruptive behavior. Last week, a 7-year-old in
Bethlehem, W.Va., wound up wearing jailhouse bracelets for much the
same reason.

Can it be just coincidence that we're also seeing a not-so-mini
epidemic of parents defending and rationalizing the misbehavior of
their little terrors? I'm thinking of the parents in Kansas who
harassed a teacher for flunking kids who cheated on a project. Of the
mother in Greater Chicago who dismissed her daughter's part in a mob
assault as something that just "got out of hand." Of the mother in New
Orleans who blamed the school - school with security guards and metal
detectors - after her son and another boy shot each other.

And I'm thinking of Ja'eisha's mother, Inga Akins, saying on television
that her daughter's misbehavior stemmed from the fact that she doesn't
get along with "Miss D" - presumably assistant principal Nicole
Dibenedetto, seen in the video deflecting the child's punches. Beg
pardon again, but ... who cares? How does the fact that a 5-year-old
doesn't like somebody justify her behaving like a hellion?

Akins has a lawyer and he's talking lawsuit. Fine. The police
overreacted. You don't handcuff 5-year-olds. But you shouldn't feel
that you have to.

So I hope mom doesn't do what we too often do when our kids misbehave
these days: Make it not their fault. Tell them they are victims. Spare
them the burden of onus.

I hope that between media interviews, Akins is getting her child
straight. Otherwise, I can promise you one thing:

Someday, you'll see Ja'eisha in handcuffs again.

Leonard Pitts Jr. is a syndicated columnist in Washington.

On Tue, 03 May 2005 19:11:04 GMT, "Kent"
wrote:

http://tinyurl.com/8t5eo

Link to the video clip.

http://www.sptimesphotos.com/video/office.html

It certainly does not seem that the child needed
to be handcuffed and arrested by police.

Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get
the child until she got off work so the school personel were
in a situation where they would have had to have a principal
or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until
that time.

I wonder about the emergency contacts and why they could
not retrieve the child. It seems that she needed to be picked
up at the earliest time possible and when mom is not available,
every school I ever worked in had other people to call as
backup to pick her up.

Link to a more detailed story about the incident itself he
http://www.sptimes.com/2005/04/22/So...olice_ha.shtml

Archived article he
http://snipurl.com/endu


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

On Tue, 03 May 2005 22:14:31 -0500, toto
wrote:

On Tue, 03 May 2005 19:11:04 GMT, "Kent"
wrote:

http://tinyurl.com/8t5eo

Kent is a reg in the childfree group, so I'd bet the author of that
article is probably CF as well.

Link to the video clip.

http://www.sptimesphotos.com/video/office.html

It certainly does not seem that the child needed
to be handcuffed and arrested by police.

Agreed. However, the principal was ineffective in her approach. When
I worked at the women's shelter, a child that behaved like that would
have been restrained by staff in what we called a "basket hold". It
was very effective in getting the child to calm down.

Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get
the child until she got off work so the school personel were
in a situation where they would have had to have a principal
or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until
that time.

I'll play devil's advocate and say I wouldn't want to be in the
position of having to monitor the child for possibly an entire day
just because the mother couldn't be bothered to come get her. I
wouldn't have called the police, but I may have referred the situation
to DFS or a similar agency.

I wonder about the emergency contacts and why they could
not retrieve the child. It seems that she needed to be picked
up at the earliest time possible and when mom is not available,
every school I ever worked in had other people to call as
backup to pick her up.

Link to a more detailed story about the incident itself he
http://www.sptimes.com/2005/04/22/So...olice_ha.shtml

Archived article he
http://snipurl.com/endu

Nan

In article ,
Nan wrote:

Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get
the child until she got off work so the school personel were
in a situation where they would have had to have a principal
or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until
that time.

I'll play devil's advocate and say I wouldn't want to be in the
position of having to monitor the child for possibly an entire day
just because the mother couldn't be bothered to come get her.

That's kind of harsh. You don't know the mother's position. She may
have been in a position that she would get fired if she left her post,
or where she was the only clerk on duty in a store and couldn't leave
until the next person came in. She may not have had transportation
until her shift ended. There are lots of people who cannot walk off
their job without getting fired.

She may have been called to the school frequently, and her boss said,
"Once more and you're fired."

"Couldn't be bothered" is uncalled for unless you know all of the
circumstances.

Apparenty, at least part of the problem was that, instead of campus
police, who are trained specifically to work with out of control
children, the city police were called.

But you're right: I would not want to have to be responsible for a
child who was trashing a room and hitting me for the rest of the day.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

On Wed, 04 May 2005 04:02:18 GMT, dragonlady
wrote:

In article ,
Nan wrote:

Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get
the child until she got off work so the school personel were
in a situation where they would have had to have a principal
or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until
that time.

I'll play devil's advocate and say I wouldn't want to be in the
position of having to monitor the child for possibly an entire day
just because the mother couldn't be bothered to come get her.

That's kind of harsh. You don't know the mother's position. She may
have been in a position that she would get fired if she left her post,
or where she was the only clerk on duty in a store and couldn't leave
until the next person came in. She may not have had transportation
until her shift ended. There are lots of people who cannot walk off
their job without getting fired.

She may have been called to the school frequently, and her boss said,
"Once more and you're fired."

"Couldn't be bothered" is uncalled for unless you know all of the
circumstances.

True, and I don't know all of the circumstances. However, it is a
parent's responsibility to make sure there is available transportation
or supervision for their children. It's why the schools want
emergency contact info. The problem lies in parents that have the
mentality that the school is their free babysitter, and don't have
alternative plans for exceptional circumstances.

Apparenty, at least part of the problem was that, instead of campus
police, who are trained specifically to work with out of control
children, the city police were called.

Elementary schools around here don't have campus police.

But you're right: I would not want to have to be responsible for a
child who was trashing a room and hitting me for the rest of the day.

Nan

In article ,
Nan wrote:

True, and I don't know all of the circumstances. However, it is a
parent's responsibility to make sure there is available transportation
or supervision for their children. It's why the schools want
emergency contact info. The problem lies in parents that have the
mentality that the school is their free babysitter, and don't have
alternative plans for exceptional circumstances.

I'm a little touchy on this one, having been called to school VERY often
for a short period of time. It became a real problem for me.
Ultimately, I quit one job so I could be more available for the child
who was in trouble. (She's doing fine now -- but it was a pretty rough
patch, and there WERE times when I had to tell the school they'd just
have to wait for a bit.)


Apparenty, at least part of the problem was that, instead of campus
police, who are trained specifically to work with out of control
children, the city police were called.

Elementary schools around here don't have campus police.

One of the articles specified that this school did, and that normally
the campus police would have been called. I figure it must either be a
K-12 campus, or a very large elementary school!


But you're right: I would not want to have to be responsible for a
child who was trashing a room and hitting me for the rest of the day.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Nan wrote:
On Wed, 04 May 2005 04:02:18 GMT, dragonlady
wrote:

In article ,
Nan wrote:

Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get
the child until she got off work so the school personel were
in a situation where they would have had to have a principal
or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until
that time.

I'll play devil's advocate and say I wouldn't want to be in the
position of having to monitor the child for possibly an entire day
just because the mother couldn't be bothered to come get her.

That's kind of harsh. You don't know the mother's position. She
may
have been in a position that she would get fired if she left her
post,
or where she was the only clerk on duty in a store and couldn't
leave
until the next person came in. She may not have had transportation
until her shift ended. There are lots of people who cannot walk off

their job without getting fired.

She may have been called to the school frequently, and her boss
said,
"Once more and you're fired."

"Couldn't be bothered" is uncalled for unless you know all of the
circumstances.

True, and I don't know all of the circumstances. However, it is a
parent's responsibility to make sure there is available
transportation
or supervision for their children. It's why the schools want
emergency contact info. The problem lies in parents that have the
mentality that the school is their free babysitter, and don't have
alternative plans for exceptional circumstances.


The article said they called mom at 2 pm, and mom said she'd make it
there by 3:15 pm. An hour 15 minutes is not unreasonable to me. On days
I go into my office, it takes me that amount of time to walk out of my
office, across the parking lot to my car, and then commute 50 miles
back to the school (more, if there's traffic).

My emergency contacts are not much better - even those who work at home
and live near the school may be hard to reach on short notice, since
they count on their own kids being in school while they run errands, go
to aerobics class, etc. I think an hour 15 minutes is quite reasonable
amount of time to have either a parent or emergency contact get up to
the school to retrieve a kid.


jen

In article ,
Nan wrote:

However, it is a
parent's responsibility to make sure there is available transportation
or supervision for their children. It's why the schools want
emergency contact info. The problem lies in parents that have the
mentality that the school is their free babysitter, and don't have
alternative plans for exceptional circumstances.

Leaving aside my cynical remark earlier (that the emergency contacts were
*unwilling* to take her!), I can easily imagine a situation where DS might be
similarly left high and dry at day care.

My DH, ILs, my Mum and I are on the signoff/emergency contact list. Imagine
that I am in a serious car accident on my way to collect DS in peak hour. DH
is contacted, but he is in the city at work and cannot reach day care by
closing time. My Mum, assuming she is contactable, is 45 mins away by car
(and it would be longer in peak hour). That leaves the ILs, as long as they
can be contacted and can find a taxi. All we need is to have one or two
people in hospital, and suddenly, despite the best will in the world, we have
no alternative plans and no way for DS to be picked up before closing time.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"In Melbourne there is plenty of vigour and eagerness, but there is
nothing worth being eager or vigorous about."
Francis Adams, The Australians, 1893.

On Wed, 04 May 2005 04:02:18 GMT, dragonlady
wrote:

That's kind of harsh. You don't know the mother's position. She may
have been in a position that she would get fired if she left her post,
or where she was the only clerk on duty in a store and couldn't leave
until the next person came in. She may not have had transportation
until her shift ended. There are lots of people who cannot walk off
their job without getting fired.

In addition to the 5-year-old girl, Akins has a son, 4, and another
daughter, 3. Pinellas court records show she has been trying without
success to collect child support from two St. Petersburg men who are
the fathers of the children. The father of the 5-year-old has been
arrested more than a dozen times since 1995, mostly on drug charges.

Akins is a certified nursing assistant at a Seminole retirement
complex, where a supervisor declined to be interviewed for this story.

In 2002, records show, St. Petersburg police stopped Akins on Fourth
Street N for driving a car with a stolen license plate, a misdemeanor.
She was taken to jail, but went to jail two more times on the same
charge because of missed court appearances.

She later paid a fine.
Records also show that around the time of her daughter's handcuffing,
Akins was in the throes of an eviction proceeding with the owners of
her St. Petersburg apartment. A note she wrote to the court indicates
the problem involved subsidized rent payments from the St. Petersburg
Housing Authority.

In a recent interview, Akins said the arrest prompted the state
Department of Children and Families to investigate her. She said she
passed a DCF review.


She may have been called to the school frequently, and her boss said,
"Once more and you're fired."

"Couldn't be bothered" is uncalled for unless you know all of the
circumstances.

I don't think she *couldn't be bothered* to pick the girl up, but that
is no excuse for not having a backup plan in place.

Apparenty, at least part of the problem was that, instead of campus
police, who are trained specifically to work with out of control
children, the city police were called.

http://snipurl.com/enfh

The girl had a history of problems at the school, though the full
extent is not known because student records are not public.

District officials have discussed an incident several weeks before the
handcuffing in which a city police officer was called to the school
because of a behavior problem with the girl. The officer said
something to her about the possibility of being handcuffed if her
behavior continued.

Akins later objected to that conversation, part of an ongoing feud
with the school over her daughter's treatment.

http://snipurl.com/enfi

Wilcox said school employees were in a "last resort" situation when
they phoned city police to intervene with the girl. The Pinellas
schools police force, which is better trained to deal with
schoolchildren, is a small force of about 22 officers and "couldn't
get there" in time, Wilcox said.

He said school officials exercised good judgment in calling city
police and "made the best decision they could under the
circumstances."

But you're right: I would not want to have to be responsible for a
child who was trashing a room and hitting me for the rest of the day.

me either


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

In article ,
toto wrote:

Wilcox said school employees were in a "last resort" situation when
they phoned city police to intervene with the girl. The Pinellas
schools police force, which is better trained to deal with
schoolchildren, is a small force of about 22 officers and "couldn't
get there" in time, Wilcox said.

What the heck is a "schools police force"?

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"In Melbourne there is plenty of vigour and eagerness, but there is
nothing worth being eager or vigorous about."
Francis Adams, The Australians, 1893.