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#301
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On 3 Mar 2005 18:31:59 -0800, "shinypenny"
scribbled: Nan wrote: Perhaps you can approach your dh with, "honey, I know you don't like wearing a seatbelt, but if we were in an accident and you didn't survive, it would devastate me to be left without you". I can confirm that this particular guilt trip can work - I used it on my DF years ago when we first started dating, and it bothered me that he would go without a seatbelt. It did take months of gentle reminders and boo-boo faces, but now he buckles up as a matter of habit. Same here. Nan |
#302
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"nimue" wrote in message ... toto wrote: On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 14:38:26 GMT, "nimue" wrote: In the baby situation, what, pray tell, was I supposed to do? Read back in some of the posts to the thread. Several people have said that you might have actually said "It makes me uncomfortable to leave the baby alone in the car. I can stay out here and read while you take care of business inside." That would have kept baby safe and been less of a criticism of what she did as it would have put the discomfort on *your* shoulders and not implied a criticism of her not feeling the same way. Oh, lord. Yes -- that would have been a good thing to do. Indeed, I wish I had done it. However, I was -- gasp! -- human and a bit thrown by the situation. You asked directly above what you were supposed to do. Then you were told exactly what you asked for. So why on earth would you respond like this? Like, indeed, you think that your "critics" are responding to you. friendly advice on how to handle it next time would have been great, although unsought. I did not feel that some of the advice I got was friendly. I felt chastised That's absurd. Go back and read the earliest posts on this thread. Say, the ones from the first day. Tally those up and see what percentage of those were "chastising" you. It only got negative when you wouldn't *let* people give their own open and honest reply. When it didn't fit what you wanted to hear. P. Tierney |
#303
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"toto" wrote in message ... On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 18:52:55 GMT, "P. Tierney" wrote: What's odd to me is that you only want opinions of people who think that you were right. That is *very* odd. Not that odd. We've seen it plenty of times here. That's true, it is common. Logically odd, though. P. Tierney |
#304
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"nimue" wrote in message ... Had advice on how to handle such a situation been given in a friendly, helpful , non-judgmental manner, Quick advice: Respond to people nonjudgmentally if you want them to do the same to you. P. Tierney |
#305
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"nimue" wrote in message ... Do you see how condescending and ultimately worthless the advice you just gave is? Do you consider that a that friendly, helpful, and nonjudgemental response? Just curious. P. Tierney |
#306
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#307
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In article ,
"nimue" wrote: After that happened, I went to my neighbor and told her anytime she needed a babysitter to help her out if she was tired, I would gladly babysit for free. I'd have given my eye teeth for a neighbor like you when I was pregnant with the twins -- I kept falling asleep, and worried about the 3 yo -- or after they were born! She never took me up on that offer. She moved shortly after. I wonder what happened to her. Kids do get into amazing trouble. I once got a call at around 4:30 am. My toddler was standing on her friend's doorstep (same comples, one building over from us) in her jammies. She woke up, and decided she wanted to play . . . I didn't even know she could get the door unlocked! -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#308
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P. Tierney wrote:
"nimue" wrote in message ... Do you see how condescending and ultimately worthless the advice you just gave is? Do you consider that a that friendly, helpful, and nonjudgemental response? Just curious. Hell, no. I was ****ed and will freely admit it -- I have no problem with that. P. Tierney -- nimue "If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF." Joss Whedon "There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete bitches." Dawn French |
#309
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#310
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dragonlady wrote:
In article , "nimue" wrote: After that happened, I went to my neighbor and told her anytime she needed a babysitter to help her out if she was tired, I would gladly babysit for free. I'd have given my eye teeth for a neighbor like you when I was pregnant with the twins -- I kept falling asleep, and worried about the 3 yo -- or after they were born! She never took me up on that offer. She moved shortly after. I wonder what happened to her. Kids do get into amazing trouble. I once got a call at around 4:30 am. My toddler was standing on her friend's doorstep (same comples, one building over from us) in her jammies. She woke up, and decided she wanted to play . . . I didn't even know she could get the door unlocked! Oh, my god! That happened to me. Once, I heard a faint scratch at my door -- I can't believe I even heard it. I opened it to find my neighbor's (other neighbor, other apartment complex) 5 year old there. I made a big deal out of this kid -- gave her toys, told her stories -- so at about 6 one morning she decided to come over! I took her and knocked on her parents' door, but they didn't get up. I sat on their step for about an hour with her until they did. They were shocked and thankful. She was an adorable kid and I really liked her mom. This situation has happened to me more than once -- the worst was when my husband and I were at a hotel with little terraces on the ground floor -- THAT was bad and we called the cops. A baby -- about 18 months, just sort of knocked on our terrace door in a storm! Oh, lord. I have to go to work today -- no time for details. -- nimue "If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF." Joss Whedon "There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete bitches." Dawn French |
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