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Opinions.....is this rude?



 
 
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  #21  
Old August 13th 04, 12:17 AM
Denise Anderson
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Default Opinions.....is this rude?


"Jamie Clark" wrote in message
...
Sorry Christine, but I agree with what Gloria wrote....snipped a bunch of

stuff

I'm sorry, Jamie, but this is just not up to par

Denise


  #22  
Old August 13th 04, 12:40 AM
laurie
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Default Opinions.....is this rude?

I think that if you feel you can't carry her around in a sling or another type
of carrier, then you should stay at home and let him have a nice vacation with
his other daughters. It doesn't matter that they went on a nice vacation with
their mother- this is about HIM and them being together.

I'm afraid I do think you're being a bit selfish for not wanting him to go, but
I can understand you not being up to going too.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 3 years
Christopher, 15.5 months
  #23  
Old August 13th 04, 12:41 AM
Jamie Clark
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Default Opinions.....is this rude?

Oh shoot -- was I too gentle? This whole thing with Wendy has apparently
left me a little gun-shy... : ) wink
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Check out our Adoption Page at http://www.geocities.com/clarkadopt2004/


"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"Jamie Clark" wrote in message
...
Sorry Christine, but I agree with what Gloria wrote....snipped a bunch

of
stuff

I'm sorry, Jamie, but this is just not up to par

Denise




  #24  
Old August 13th 04, 01:22 AM
newfy.1
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Default Opinions.....is this rude?


"Christine" wrote in message
...
I'd say it was sad that you are dividing the
family into "his" and "ours". You sound like a
very reluctant stepmother

YOU HAVE NO IDEA OW GOOD I AM TO THE KIDS!

I just meant that I would rather have m 12 week old baby at home, she
HAS traveled and quit WELL! but I think THIS vacation is for OLDER
children......
MY DH EVEN SAYS the kids enjoy MY company beter than there OWN mothers!

I didnt think it was rude to STAY HOME!


you sound mental!


Mental...what? Superior? Challenged?

That's nice. Again, another poster asking for opinions in an open forum
getting upset when they don't hear what they want to hear...

Gloria wasn't rude, she just didn't sugarcoat.

JennP.


  #25  
Old August 13th 04, 01:38 AM
newfy.1
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Default Opinions.....is this rude?


"Christine" wrote in message
...
Ok, DH wants to plan a small vacation with his 2 daughters,,,7 and
14,,,,,

he wants to take them to a huge ( FUN ) water park in Erie, then to
Canada....to see the falls,
and to the beach...etc.
from what I understand you should'nt take a baby out of the country till
they have x amount of shots....
and she cant go on the beach....she is very fair, complected, and might
burn

Use an umbrella/carseat hood.

OR be cold on the beach if its chilly ( and IT IS! ) and my main
concern is ''sand in her eyes'' she doesnt even sit up by
herself yet..shes 12 weeks....

Then bring plenty of warmer clothing.

I don't understand why the beach is an issue. There are tiny babies on our
beach every single weekend. You keep them covered up, use an umbrella. Three
months is definitly NOT too young for the beach. She'll probably like it
more than you realize.

DH thinks I should just go and sit in the hotel while him and his kids
have a ball...

Is this exactly what he said? No offense, but I hear a little bit of
resentment here.

Is it selfish of me to expect him to wait till next year, for a
vacation?

Yes, I think it's selfish of you to expect him AND his daughters to wait a
year for a vacation with him.

because I told him she would probably be able to do a beach at
age one,

Goodness, babies can do the beach at any age. Just use common sense.

but he wants to take his kids,,,,,,,
they BOTH had been on a NICE vacation already with their moms....as a
matter of fact, the 7 year old is at the beach as we speak!

But, it's not with their father...

PLUS we went to a nice resort a few weeks ago,,,it was all indoors,,,I
walked around with chloe while they had fun!

BUT this place,,( the water park ) you cant take a stroller in, and she
is too little to sit in the water, so we would have to stay in the hotel
room,,,

I can see that the waterpark might not be as much fun with a small infant,
but why can't you go shopping or sightseeing on the day they do the
waterpark? Is there no pool at the hotel? It's kind of silly to think that
you have to stay in the hotel room.

I would MUCH rather spend my time with chloe than leave her with a
sitter...that is OUT!
DH would never expect me to get a sitter either...if it was just him and
I...then I would have my mom keep her BUT i wont leave Chloe behind to
go on a ''family'' vacation!

But I just want to stay home if he wants to go that bad......

so, is it rude of ME to stay here with Chloe?

IMO, yes. It sounds like your dh is trying to plan a family vacation for
*everyone* step children included. There is going to be a big age gap
between your baby and his daughters so he's going to have to try to
accomodate both from here on out. For your dh, family vacations include your
stepdaughters.

and is it rude of HIM to still go knowing chloe is too small yet?

IMO, she isn't too small for a vacation.

I think the final desicion is that I am going to stay home with
Chloe...but i was just wondering what you all thought?

Well, I guess your decision is made then. Do you expect any resentment from
dh?

JennP.


  #26  
Old August 13th 04, 01:39 AM
Ericka Kammerer
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Default Opinions.....is this rude?

toypup wrote:


No. Let's put it this way, if you had two older children of your own, would
you put your whole life on hold until the youngest was older? If so, for
how long? Each year you put on hold is a year you miss out with the older
children. They go through phases and when the phase is passed, it's gone.
The oldest may not even be interested in water parks by the time Chloe is
ready. Maybe she would be too busy with school or other activies. The time
to build memories is now and your DH realizes that. He wants you to be a
family. That means you give and take. One little vacation cannot be all
that bad. I'd suck it up and go. You can always retreat to the hotel if
you feel too tired. Read a book and go shopping while you're there and meet
up for lunch, dinner or whatever. But if it were me, I'd go to the water
park and do it all, because it might lead to bonding with the girls to where
you might not find spending time with them to be such a burden (and it's sad
that you do).


Just to offer a different perspective, though, I have
almost 7 and 9.5 year old boys and a 13 month old girl. There
are lots of things that the boys like to do that G. is either
not interested in or really difficult to handle at. We have
lots and lots of together time as a family. There are also
times when DH takes the boys off to do something and I stay
home with G. (or vice versa). The fact that we do some things
separately isn't a negative, in my book. Obviously, if this
is the only time the whole family gets together, that's one
thing, but if there are other opportunities for family
togetherness, this needn't be one of them. My boys are going
to an amusement park in a couple of months. I believe that
*neither* DH nor I are going with them (still not sure on
that front). I'm sure they'll have a blast, and I'll be
just as happy not schlepping a toddler around Busch Gardens.
They don't have to share all their fun times with me. Other
people can get in on the fun too. I think there's only a
problem if there's a *pattern* of avoidance.

Best wishes,
Ericka

  #27  
Old August 13th 04, 02:17 AM
Larry McMahan
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Default Opinions.....is this rude?

Amen, sister, AMEN!

Larry

toypup writes:

: "Christine" wrote in message
: ...
:but he wants to take his kids,,,,,,,
:they BOTH had been on a NICE vacation already with their moms....as a
:matter of fact, the 7 year old is at the beach as we speak!
:PLUS we went to a nice resort a few weeks ago,,,it was all indoors,,,I
:walked around with chloe while they had fun!

: Like everyone else said, being with their mom does not replace being with
: their dad. They need special time with their dad.

:But I just want to stay home if he wants to go that bad......

:so, is it rude of ME to stay here with Chloe?

: Yes.

:and is it rude of HIM to still go knowing chloe is too small yet?

: No. Let's put it this way, if you had two older children of your own, would
: you put your whole life on hold until the youngest was older? If so, for
: how long? Each year you put on hold is a year you miss out with the older
: children. They go through phases and when the phase is passed, it's gone.
: The oldest may not even be interested in water parks by the time Chloe is
: ready. Maybe she would be too busy with school or other activies. The time
: to build memories is now and your DH realizes that. He wants you to be a
: family. That means you give and take. One little vacation cannot be all
: that bad. I'd suck it up and go. You can always retreat to the hotel if
: you feel too tired. Read a book and go shopping while you're there and meet
: up for lunch, dinner or whatever. But if it were me, I'd go to the water
: park and do it all, because it might lead to bonding with the girls to where
: you might not find spending time with them to be such a burden (and it's sad
: that you do).


  #28  
Old August 13th 04, 02:22 AM
Kaybee
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Default Opinions.....is this rude?


"Christine" wrote in message
...
Ok, DH wants to plan a small vacation with his 2 daughters,,,7 and
14,,,,,


he wants to take them to a huge ( FUN ) water park in Erie, then to
Canada....to see the falls,
and to the beach...etc.
rom what I understand you should'nt take a baby out of the country till
they have x amount of shots....


I think that it should be ok to take her to Canada if you are crossing the
border.

and she cant go on the beach....she is very fair, complected, and might
burn OR be cold on the beach if its chilly ( and IT IS! ) and my main
concern is ''sand in her eyes'' she doesnt even sit up by
herself yet..shes 12 weeks....


I think that you can take her to the beach. I took Eva to the beach when
she was a month old. Family day in Ocean City while they were closing the
house up for the season. She loved the beach. It was October so we didn't
go in the water but she loved the board walk and she also loved the beach.
Just lather the baby in sunscrean and a hat and bring stuff to add more
clothing if she is chilly.

DH thinks I should just go and sit in the hotel while him and his kids
have a ball...


Is it selfish of me to expect him to wait till next year, for a
vacation?


I think that if he wants to take his kids on vacation let him. I remember
going on seporate vacations as a kid and loved it. There was one time when
I didn't go with my grandparents (on my fathers side, long story on why I
went with his parents and not him) and I was crushed. So please let him
take his kids.

because I told him she would probably be able to do a beach at
e one,


but he wants to take his kids,,,,,,,
they BOTH had been on a NICE vacation already with their moms....


This is there moms not there dad.

as a
matter of fact, the 7 year old is at the beach as we speak!
PLUS we went to a nice resort a few weeks ago,,,it was all indoors,,,I
walked around with chloe while they had fun!


BUT this place,,( the water park ) you cant take a stroller in,


Why would you not be able to take the stroller in with an infant. I would
check on that. You can always go in the water with her. I know that Eva
always liked this. And bring a blanket to lay her on if that is the case
that they say no to the storller.

and she
is too little to sit in the water, so we would have to stay in the hotel
room,,,


I would MUCH rather spend my time with chloe than leave her with a
sitter...that is OUT!
DH would never expect me to get a sitter either...if it was just him and
I...then I would have my mom keep her BUT i wont leave Chloe behind to
go on a ''family'' vacation!


But I just want to stay home if he wants to go that bad......


If you want to stay home then stay home. Just please don't take it out on
him if you do decide to stay home. This includes the infamous guilt trip.
(we all do it)
so, is it rude of ME to stay here with Chloe?


and is it rude of HIM to still go knowing chloe is too small yet?


I think the final desicion is that I am going to stay home with
Chloe...but i was just wondering what you all thought?


tia.......


Good luck with everything

Kay
Mommy to Eva 9/2002
one on way 1/2005


Chrissy & Chloe....


  #29  
Old August 13th 04, 03:37 AM
Marie
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Default Opinions.....is this rude?

On Thu, 12 Aug 2004 22:56:33 GMT, "toypup"
wrote:
"Christine" wrote in message
...
so, is it rude of ME to stay here with Chloe?


Yes.


What do you find rude about it? If I had a small baby, it would
probably be more trouble than it was worth to go so I'd rather stay
home also. Nothing wrong with her staying home and dad going with his
kids.
Marie
  #30  
Old August 13th 04, 03:45 AM
Wendy
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Posts: n/a
Default Opinions.....is this rude?

Chrissy you are right, this has nothing to do with what kind of
stepmother you are. I don't think it is rude at all for you to stay home
with the baby. If you don't feel comfortable taking her on the trip then
I think the thing to do is let DH take his kids and do something else
with them later. I don't think you should feel obligated to go, and
besides, sometimes kids appreciate time alone with their parent. I am a
stepparent and I think it's nice to stay home with DS sometimes and let
DH take his kids somewhere. I was in a situation very similar to yours
after DS was born and DH and his kids went without me because I was
nowhere near up to going anywhere yet. Are you ok with them going? How
long are they going to be gone?

Wendy

 




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