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#1
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
Someone posted something recently to the effect that this group had always
been about moaning how tough it was being a single parent etc (hence the subject line, also a damn good marketing ploy for getting you to read it I felt). Well, I would like to say that I think it is tough and its no use pretending it isn't. I come here for the support I get from talking about it (alt.support etc) and any advice I can get from others who live it and have been through the rough patches (esp the beginning bits). So hard to find anyone who is not in this position to talk to and the things they take for granted that you can't do or have to consider just don't feature on their mental maps. The flip side is that it is very fulfilling. It is really trite and such an 'ism' but I feel so 'emotionally fulfilled' by looking after my daughter as well and we do have lots of fun. She really does 'complete my life'. I often feel bad for her mother who left the country over a year ago and is not getting this. This year my daughter saw a rainbow for the first time and we oohed and aaahed it, I was there for that, her mum was not and the firsts only come once, so sorry she (her mum) is missing them and so glad I can see all these firsts and be with her. Often when I am out in the day and she's at school I see something and think, 'yeah, she would like this show/thing/display/restaurant/film' and make plans for us to enjoy it together like all the Father Xmas stuff they are doing in shopping centres now. Its great!!! Andrew PS, the above I am well aware that once we hit the teens there are going to be a whole host of 'firsts' that I am not going to be so enamoured of! She can clean up her own first pub crawl puke off the carpet methinks!!! |
#2
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
"Andrew" wrote in message ... Someone posted something recently to the effect that this group had always been about moaning how tough it was being a single parent etc (hence the subject line, also a damn good marketing ploy for getting you to read it I felt). Well, I would like to say that I think it is tough and its no use pretending it isn't. I come here for the support I get from talking about it (alt.support etc) and any advice I can get from others who live it and have been through the rough patches (esp the beginning bits). So hard to find anyone who is not in this position to talk to and the things they take for granted that you can't do or have to consider just don't feature on their mental maps. The flip side is that it is very fulfilling. It is really trite and such an 'ism' but I feel so 'emotionally fulfilled' by looking after my daughter as well and we do have lots of fun. She really does 'complete my life'. I often feel bad for her mother who left the country over a year ago and is not getting this. This year my daughter saw a rainbow for the first time and we oohed and aaahed it, I was there for that, her mum was not and the firsts only come once, so sorry she (her mum) is missing them and so glad I can see all these firsts and be with her. Often when I am out in the day and she's at school I see something and think, 'yeah, she would like this show/thing/display/restaurant/film' and make plans for us to enjoy it together like all the Father Xmas stuff they are doing in shopping centres now. Its great!!! Andrew PS, the above I am well aware that once we hit the teens there are going to be a whole host of 'firsts' that I am not going to be so enamoured of! She can clean up her own first pub crawl puke off the carpet methinks!!! Your daughter is very lucky to have you. Christine |
#3
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
Andrew wrote in message ... snip This year my daughter saw a rainbow for the first time and we oohed and aaahed it, I was there for that, Yeah, this kind of thing is the bonus. I have said here before that I consider it an honour and a privilege to be so involved in my sons upbringing. All the little milestones make the hard slog pale into insignificance. I posted recently, with immense pride, about Freddie swimming his first width at the pool. The upshot of that is that I now have to play his new game of "limpet" every week. Basically he latches himself on to my back and I have to get him off. This can only be done by me staying under the water longer than he can, the trouble is that as soon as I surface, he latches on again. I can't get away from him for more than a minute or so. Like the terminator, he just does not stop. Without persevering with the hard slog, we would never get to see those priceless rewarding bits. Dennis make the hard slog pale into insignificance for me. |
#4
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
I think generally men make a better custodial parent/child unit then women.
To me most men who have their children *really* want their children, they do not really give a toss about CS payments (I've never had a penny in fact still give her mother cash when she is skint), where as alot of women seemed to have been either dumped with kids whilst their guy goes off and chases something younger/prettier or got pregnant in the hope of keeping a guy or getting on the CS gravy boat. To me there is simply nothing difficult about being a single parent, in fact in many ways I think its easier than being part of a traditional family unit. Maybe its a financial thing, I employ a cleaner and a PA to help out in my life, send my child to a private school and employ people in my buissness, I think in general you are either successfull or a looser and if your a looser you will loose whatever your circumstance. One thing that has began to niggle me is the different attitude that women single parents face than men, especially if you are a non custodial female, most women think its incredably *sweet* that I look after my daughter (nearly 5, had her on my own since she was two) and alsmost see it in some sort of hollywood family movie context, however, I make a point of employing single parents in my buissness, they are all women, and the negativity they face is almost humiliating. rant over, I cant spell and i dont care. HanK |
#5
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
Okay......I'll start......
"HanK" wrote in message ... I think generally men make a better custodial parent/child unit then women. Neither gender corners the market on being a better parent To me most men who have their children *really* want their children, they do not really give a toss about CS payments (I've never had a penny in fact still give her mother cash when she is skint), where as alot of women seemed to have been either dumped with kids whilst their guy goes off and chases something younger/prettier or got pregnant in the hope of keeping a guy or getting on the CS gravy boat. Both premiises are so wrong they don't deserve further comment To me there is simply nothing difficult about being a single parent, in fact in many ways I think its easier than being part of a traditional family unit. Unless you are the kid.........any parent that thinks that kids are as well or better off in a single parent home has their head where the light doesn't shine, Your statement is incredibly selfish and self centered Maybe its a financial thing, I employ a cleaner and a PA to help out in my life, send my child to a private school and employ people in my buissness, I think in general you are either successfull or a looser and if your a looser you will loose whatever your circumstance. snicker and the vast amount of people in between One thing that has began to niggle me is the different attitude that women single parents face than men, especially if you are a non custodial female, most women think its incredably *sweet* that I look after my daughter (nearly 5, had her on my own since she was two) and alsmost see it in some sort of hollywood family movie context, however, I make a point of employing single parents in my buissness, they are all women, and the negativity they face is almost humiliating. woulldn't by chance be because of the sterotyping of their employer would it? Painting with such a broad brush will generally find you painted into a corner rant over, I cant spell and i dont care. Rant? more like moronic pontificating HanK |
#6
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
I think generally men make a better custodial parent/child unit then women.
I think anybody who makes generalizations like that is showing their ignorance. To me most men who have their children *really* want their children, And if most of the women you know don't really want their children then what is wrong with you that you hang around with skuzzy women? To me there is simply nothing difficult about being a single parent, in fact in many ways I think its easier than being part of a traditional family unit. If you were ever part of a healthy marraige you wouldnt say that. It is easier and better for everyone to have a mother and a father. ANd before everyone who picked bad women and men to be the other parent of your children start yapping at me, it may be easier doing it alone than with a jerk, but I promise you, it's better with two healthy parents. Maybe its a financial thing, Yea, having money always makes things easier. I think in general you are either successfull or a looser and if your a looser you will loose whatever your circumstance. I guess it all depends on your idea of success. But people who have never experienced hardship tend to believe it's because they are so wonderful, hardworking and upright, they dont' see that other people and luck had a lot to do with it, so they tend to be pretty judgmental of others who are not as blessed. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#7
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
"Paul Fritz" wrote in message ... Okay......I'll start...... "HanK" wrote in message ... I think generally men make a better custodial parent/child unit then women. Neither gender corners the market on being a better parent To me most men who have their children *really* want their children, they do not really give a toss about CS payments (I've never had a penny in fact still give her mother cash when she is skint), where as alot of women seemed to have been either dumped with kids whilst their guy goes off and chases something younger/prettier or got pregnant in the hope of keeping a guy or getting on the CS gravy boat. Both premiises are so wrong they don't deserve further comment To me there is simply nothing difficult about being a single parent, in fact in many ways I think its easier than being part of a traditional family unit. Unless you are the kid.........any parent that thinks that kids are as well or better off in a single parent home has their head where the light doesn't shine, Your statement is incredibly selfish and self centered Maybe its a financial thing, I employ a cleaner and a PA to help out in my life, send my child to a private school and employ people in my buissness, I think in general you are either successfull or a looser and if your a looser you will loose whatever your circumstance. snicker and the vast amount of people in between One thing that has began to niggle me is the different attitude that women single parents face than men, especially if you are a non custodial female, most women think its incredably *sweet* that I look after my daughter (nearly 5, had her on my own since she was two) and alsmost see it in some sort of hollywood family movie context, however, I make a point of employing single parents in my buissness, they are all women, and the negativity they face is almost humiliating. woulldn't by chance be because of the sterotyping of their employer would it? Painting with such a broad brush will generally find you painted into a corner rant over, I cant spell and i dont care. Rant? more like moronic pontificating HanK Paul F, is this OUR Paul F? lol JK Very well said my dear and thank you. Christine |
#8
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
"CME" wrote in message news:4JRwb.21915$oN2.9526@edtnps84... Paul F, is this OUR Paul F? lol JK Very well said my dear and thank you. Christine I practice equal opportunity bashing....of idiots |
#9
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
"Paul Fritz" wrote in message ... "CME" wrote in message news:4JRwb.21915$oN2.9526@edtnps84... Paul F, is this OUR Paul F? lol JK Very well said my dear and thank you. Christine I practice equal opportunity bashing....of idiots LOL that's a good calling. Christine |
#10
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Bunch of pathetic whiners
Unless you are the kid.........any parent that thinks that kids are as
well or better off in a single parent home has their head where the light doesn't shine, lol, idiot. Take some time to remove your head from your arse and have a little think about this statement, its floored in every way possible, take a second to think about some of the atrosoties that take place within traditional family units, are you aware how common domestic violence is, I'm not very aware of domestic violence in single parent house holds Paul, I could go on but your attitude seems so simplistic that I believe I would be wasting my time. Regards HanK |
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