Need major help for daddy!!!

We need ideas!!!!!! As many of you know I gave up a new supervisor
position at work and cut back to 4 hour shifts as Christopher wasn't doing
well with me being back at work. It's been 6 weeks now, he takes a bottle
great and I had to start doing 8 hour shifts tonight. It was hell. He
cried and cried. Seems like he does ok until about 7 pm (I work 3-11pm),
then when he gets really tired he just gets so worked up. Changing my hours
isn't an option. When I worked the 4 hour shifts, most nights went pretty
well but he was ready for me to be home when I got there at 8 pm. But
tonight was just awful, and I was miserable at work thinking about him. My
husband tried the normal walking the house, rocking, bottle, bouncy seat,
swing, pacifier to no avail and also tried the bjorn and giving him a bath,
neither of which helped.
Does anyone have any other ideas, or is it just going to be a matter of
time? I feel so horribly awful, and like I'm torturing my son. Bear in mind
this is a child that rarely cries. He's sleeping peacefully in my arms at
this moment.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 29 months
and Christopher, 5 months today!!

*This email address is now valid*

"Laurie" wrote in message
. ..
We need ideas!!!!!! As many of you know I gave up a new supervisor
position at work and cut back to 4 hour shifts as Christopher wasn't doing
well with me being back at work. It's been 6 weeks now, he takes a bottle
great and I had to start doing 8 hour shifts tonight. It was hell. He
cried and cried. Seems like he does ok until about 7 pm (I work 3-11pm),
then when he gets really tired he just gets so worked up. Changing my
hours
isn't an option. When I worked the 4 hour shifts, most nights went pretty
well but he was ready for me to be home when I got there at 8 pm. But
tonight was just awful, and I was miserable at work thinking about him.
My
husband tried the normal walking the house, rocking, bottle, bouncy seat,
swing, pacifier to no avail and also tried the bjorn and giving him a
bath,
neither of which helped.
Does anyone have any other ideas, or is it just going to be a matter of
time? I feel so horribly awful, and like I'm torturing my son. Bear in
mind
this is a child that rarely cries. He's sleeping peacefully in my arms at
this moment.

Same thing happened first time DH took care of DS. He figured it out pretty
quickly. Even got some tricks down that only worked for him.

toypup wrote in message . ..

"Laurie" wrote in message
...
We need ideas!!!!!! As many of you know I gave up a new supervisor
position at work and cut back to 4 hour shifts as Christopher wasn't
doing
well with me being back at work. It's been 6 weeks now, he takes a
bottle
great and I had to start doing 8 hour shifts tonight. It was hell. He
cried and cried. Seems like he does ok until about 7 pm (I work 3-11pm),
then when he gets really tired he just gets so worked up. Changing my
hours
isn't an option. When I worked the 4 hour shifts, most nights went pretty
well but he was ready for me to be home when I got there at 8 pm. But
tonight was just awful, and I was miserable at work thinking about him.
My
husband tried the normal walking the house, rocking, bottle, bouncy seat,
swing, pacifier to no avail and also tried the bjorn and giving him a
bath,
neither of which helped.
Does anyone have any other ideas, or is it just going to be a matter of
time? I feel so horribly awful, and like I'm torturing my son. Bear in
mind
this is a child that rarely cries. He's sleeping peacefully in my arms at
this moment.

Same thing happened first time DH took care of DS. He figured it out
pretty
quickly. Even got some tricks down that only worked for him.


Well, I've been back at work for almost 2 months. DH has been taking care of
him that whole time, it's just a longer period of time now! That's
reassuring to know it got better for you, though. Thanks.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 29 months
and Christopher, 4 months

*This email address is now valid*

"Laurie" wrote in message
. ..
We need ideas!!!!!! As many of you know I gave up a new supervisor
position at work and cut back to 4 hour shifts as Christopher wasn't doing
well with me being back at work. It's been 6 weeks now, he takes a bottle
great and I had to start doing 8 hour shifts tonight. It was hell. He
cried and cried. Seems like he does ok until about 7 pm (I work 3-11pm),
then when he gets really tired he just gets so worked up. Changing my
hours
isn't an option. When I worked the 4 hour shifts, most nights went pretty
well but he was ready for me to be home when I got there at 8 pm. But
tonight was just awful, and I was miserable at work thinking about him.
My
husband tried the normal walking the house, rocking, bottle, bouncy seat,
swing, pacifier to no avail and also tried the bjorn and giving him a
bath,
neither of which helped.
Does anyone have any other ideas, or is it just going to be a matter of
time? I feel so horribly awful, and like I'm torturing my son. Bear in
mind
this is a child that rarely cries. He's sleeping peacefully in my arms at
this moment.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 29 months
and Christopher, 5 months today!!

*This email address is now valid*



I don't know if it's possible with Jessica at home as well, but could he get
in the big bath with Christopher? Audrey likes this a LOT.

Cheers,

Leah


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azure wrote in message ...

"Laurie" wrote in message
...
We need ideas!!!!!! As many of you know I gave up a new supervisor
position at work and cut back to 4 hour shifts as Christopher wasn't
doing
well with me being back at work. It's been 6 weeks now, he takes a
bottle
great and I had to start doing 8 hour shifts tonight. It was hell. He
cried and cried. Seems like he does ok until about 7 pm (I work 3-11pm),
then when he gets really tired he just gets so worked up. Changing my
hours
isn't an option. When I worked the 4 hour shifts, most nights went pretty
well but he was ready for me to be home when I got there at 8 pm. But
tonight was just awful, and I was miserable at work thinking about him.
My
husband tried the normal walking the house, rocking, bottle, bouncy seat,
swing, pacifier to no avail and also tried the bjorn and giving him a
bath,
neither of which helped.
Does anyone have any other ideas, or is it just going to be a matter of
time? I feel so horribly awful, and like I'm torturing my son. Bear in
mind
this is a child that rarely cries. He's sleeping peacefully in my arms at
this moment.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 29 months
and Christopher, 5 months today!!

*This email address is now valid*



I don't know if it's possible with Jessica at home as well, but could he
get
in the big bath with Christopher? Audrey likes this a LOT.

Cheers,

Leah

I'll suggest it to him; he can try that after Jessica goes to bed. Thanks.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 29 months
and Christopher, 5 months

*This email address is now valid*



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"Laurie" wrote in
Does anyone have any other ideas, or is it just going to be a matter of
time? I feel so horribly awful, and like I'm torturing my son. Bear in
mind
this is a child that rarely cries. He's sleeping peacefully in my arms at
this moment.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 29 months
and Christopher, 5 months today!!

*This email address is now valid*



I know its probably past Jessica's bedtime, but could they go somewhere?
Like for a walk around the block or something right before the time when he
gets cranky? Kinda of a distraction things. Kids internal clocks are so
sensitive, maybe he got cranky around that time because he knew you were
supposed to be home, kwim?




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The trouble is that your DH needs to find techniques that work for *him*.
Trying your comforting methods will just remind your DS that you're not
there.

Tell him you trust him to figure it out, and that you give him permission to
be unconventional. He'll figure it out.

My husband used to take my DS to neighborhood meetings when I went out on
Thursday evenings. There was a bevy of grandmother-types there who LOVED
helping hold the baby, entertain the baby, etc. etc. DS is now three, but
is still very popular at these meetings. ;-)

-Shannon
"Laurie" wrote in message
. ..
We need ideas!!!!!! As many of you know I gave up a new supervisor
position at work and cut back to 4 hour shifts as Christopher wasn't doing
well with me being back at work. It's been 6 weeks now, he takes a bottle
great and I had to start doing 8 hour shifts tonight. It was hell. He
cried and cried. Seems like he does ok until about 7 pm (I work 3-11pm),
then when he gets really tired he just gets so worked up. Changing my
hours
isn't an option. When I worked the 4 hour shifts, most nights went pretty
well but he was ready for me to be home when I got there at 8 pm. But
tonight was just awful, and I was miserable at work thinking about him.
My
husband tried the normal walking the house, rocking, bottle, bouncy seat,
swing, pacifier to no avail and also tried the bjorn and giving him a
bath,
neither of which helped.
Does anyone have any other ideas, or is it just going to be a matter of
time? I feel so horribly awful, and like I'm torturing my son. Bear in
mind
this is a child that rarely cries. He's sleeping peacefully in my arms at
this moment.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 29 months
and Christopher, 5 months today!!

*This email address is now valid*

"Laurie" wrote in message
. ..
We need ideas!!!!!! As many of you know I gave up a new supervisor
position at work and cut back to 4 hour shifts as Christopher wasn't doing
well with me being back at work. It's been 6 weeks now, he takes a bottle
great and I had to start doing 8 hour shifts tonight. It was hell. He
cried and cried. Seems like he does ok until about 7 pm (I work 3-11pm),
then when he gets really tired he just gets so worked up. Changing my
hours
isn't an option. When I worked the 4 hour shifts, most nights went pretty
well but he was ready for me to be home when I got there at 8 pm.

I don't know if this is true in your case or not, but my DD would start
getting upset around 10-15 minutes before I showed up at lunchtime to nurse
her, and the same in the evening before I went to take her home. She just
seemed to know it was about time for me to be there and was mad that I
wasn't yet.

Maybe Christopher had got used to your previous schedule and thinks that
you're about to show up. If that's the case, he might calm down when he gets
used to the idea that you don't come home until later.

FWIW, when DD reached about 6 months she got past that stage altogether. Now
she's happy as a clam right up until she sees me outside the classroom door
taking my shoes off. Then she starts ctrying until I go in and pick her up.

Laurie wrote:
We need ideas!!!!!! As many of you know I gave up a new supervisor
position at work and cut back to 4 hour shifts as Christopher wasn't
doing well with me being back at work. It's been 6 weeks now, he
takes a bottle great and I had to start doing 8 hour shifts tonight.
It was hell. He cried and cried. Seems like he does ok until about
7 pm (I work 3-11pm), then when he gets really tired he just gets so
worked up.

You've tried most everything!! My only suggestion would be to stop trying
anything. Pick some very quiet very relaxing music for DH (he probably
needs it worse then Christopher, lol) and then lay down in bed in mostly
dark room with baby and do nothing. Don't sing or pat or anything. Lay
next to him with no blankents and put a hand on him so he knows he's not
alone. The baby might cry to sleep but he is crying anyway. With Luke the
more things you did the worse he got, sometimes he just needed it all to
stop. Do it the same way every night so it develops into something familiar.
It is probably 80% that he wants mom at night and 20% that everything is
just different from what he is used to and he is to tired to cope with that.
When you try so many different things (which one would understandably do) it
is just more chaotic for the baby.
Good luck, I can imagine how hard it is!
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

All I can suggest is what works for my extremely excitable high-needs
girl whether it's me or DH: swaddle tightly or recline in sling,
pacifier, bounce gently on exercise ball, make loud steady shushing
noises.

Plus she fights sleep really hard every time so she needs to be really
tired. Taking it easy all afternoon/evening won't work. I need to
really wear her out. Lots of light, noise, activity up until 1hr or so
before bed.

Also, I find that following same sequence of steps helps: wait til I'm
sure she's tired, let her cry a little to release some tension, diaper
change w/ cream since she sometimes sleeps 5-6 hrs, swaddle, bottle,
then bounce on ball w/pacifier in dark quiet room. She sometimes eats
more when she's being bounced gently, and the more she eats, the
easier it is for her to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Oh and soothing music sometimes helps. Not always, but sometimes.

-V.