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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)



 
 
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  #21  
Old June 4th 04, 03:47 AM
Marie
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

On Thu, 3 Jun 2004 19:21:20 -0700, "Circe" wrote:
I have actually had a fair number of conversations about this over the years
while NIP, particularly as my babies got into the toddler years. You'd never
believe the number of women I've encountered who guiltily confessed to me as
I nursed my 1+yo that they had nursed until their children were 2, 3, or
(shocking!) even more than 3yo. I always enjoy these conversations during
which I unblinkingly own to having nursed my oldest for 3y2m and to knowing
quite a number of moms who nursed until their kids were closer to 5yo.


I am finding that also here lately(not just with nursing,
either...co-sleeping has been a big "discovery" lately). The fact that
this happens also relieves some of the stress of nursing in public (my
toddler hates nursing without pushing my shirt up, it's about
impossible to be discreet in any way)...for any negative comment or
look you may get, think of all the mothers who "secretly" nursed their
tots that long. The person with the comments has no clue. kwim?
Marie
  #22  
Old June 4th 04, 03:53 AM
Marie
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 01:46:05 GMT, "New York Jen"
wrote:
Nope, but I'm dying to just so I could tear them a new a**hole!


I've felt that way myself ;o)

I've been very lucky with nursing in public, which I do all the time and am
quite comfortable. The other day I had Lily in the Baby Trekker carrier and
I whipped out my boob and latched her on while I finished my food shopping.
Nobody even noticed, other than my mother, who was totally embarrassed.


Isn't it interesting, the ones who are most concerned about it are
mothers/MILs.
Once at our town's annual Soiree (held outdoors on main street) I was
with my MIL and Bethany wanted to nurse (she was 18mths), MIL asked if
there was a porta-potty closeby for me to nurse her in!! I was
shocked, as MIL knows and has seen me NIP everywhere I've been and has
even joked about nursing her herself when babysitting (she never
nursed her kids) Other than that though she's never seemed embarassed.
My own mother jokes about Bethany being so "old", and walking and
asking for it but it's only joking. She's actually let her latch on
once before to see what she'd do when Bethany was 14mths. lol (she
nursed my brother and I)
Marie
  #23  
Old June 4th 04, 04:25 AM
Sarajoyo
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

"Sophie" wrote in message ...
Mini-vent coming on -

As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
better - ick!

This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!

Okay, done, feel better

Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.

Nope. Never. And I've breastfed in public in all sorts of places --
Wal-Mart, grocery stores, a pool, the beach, libraries, malls,
restaurants ranging from Wendy's to really fancy places, you name it,
if I've been there with DD, I've probably breastfed her there. I've
never ever had a negative comment or look at all, and in the places
I've lived, bf'ing is not the norm at all. I have bf'ed in the sling
some, but I have also bf'ed without it plenty, and I don't generally
wear nursing clothing (except for dresses for church). People don't
usually comment, but if they do, it's all been positive. My favorite
comment came from an older woman who was working in a nice fabric
store where I was shopping when DD was not quite two. She wanted
milk, so I sat down at the pattern counters to nurse her, and the lady
came over to me. I was steeling myself for a negative comment, but
she smiled and said I reminded her of herself with her babies, that
she had nursed them all for about 3 years, and she was so glad to see
other moms nursing. Made my day.

-Sara
  #24  
Old June 4th 04, 04:26 AM
Tina
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

"Sophie" wrote in message ...
Mini-vent coming on -

As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
better - ick!

This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!

Okay, done, feel better

Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.

Sophie
#4 due July 7, 2004


Wow, Sophie!

That's by far the 'nicest' vent I've read relating to kids!

I'd guess it might bother you because it's such a vindictive way to
criticize another person's choices -- let's just not let them do it
anymore, or declare that they need to do it in the bathroom. It's
boggling to just about anyone who takes the time to think it through
-- Person A doesn't want to see or be reminded of breastfeeding in any
way, no matter how minor, so they think that Person B should only feed
her child (when in public) in a restroom! And because it would be
ridiculous to try and pass legislation against breastfeeding in
public, or stage a protest, they get more and more outrageous in the
complaints.

I've seen it too, in online groups where they don't know me so much as
'mom' or 'breastfeeding mom', and I really don't get bothered -- but I
do try and remember the names of the people who say things like that,
because it makes me less likely to believe them in other contexts (if
breastfeeding in a restaurant is 'indecent exposure' to someone, a few
months later it may occur to me that 'my husband is the meanest guy
in the world' from the same person probably means that he forgot to
pick up milk on the way home...once)

It's preposterous. And no, I've never had a negative comment when
nursing in public, and while I never tried to flash anyone, I also
didn't worry too much about what people would think. I think
confidence has a lot to do with whether you're deemed approachable by
rude people.

I did have a couple of older men (80's+) sit themselves down
uncomfortably close to me while I was nursing on a bench in the mall
one time. I didn't think at the time that they were *trying* to get
me to stop, but I was totally squicked out, and I left. That might
have been them telling me 'No nursing around here!'.

It does say a lot more about the complainer than the one being
complained about, though.

Tina.
  #25  
Old June 4th 04, 04:39 AM
Nikki
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

Sophie wrote:
Mini-vent coming on -

As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me
when people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate"


Because you are smart?
Because you have a full and busy life and really don't have time to
investigate the table next door to see if you can find something to bitch
about?
Because you are lacking the 'holier then thou' gene?
Because you are sensible?

:-D :-D I guess I'll stop now, lol.

Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
rude to you?


I've breastfed in public a lot. I've never had a single rude comment. I
don't remember any comments at all actually but certainly no rude ones.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)


  #26  
Old June 4th 04, 04:53 AM
A&G&K
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)


"Sophie" wrote in message
...
Mini-vent coming on -

As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it

makes
breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
better - ick!

This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!

Okay, done, feel better

Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.

Sophie
#4 due July 7, 2004


I've been glared at a few times ... and I've looked the person in the eye
and given them a big smile. I think my attitude probably stops a few
people from making negative comments to me. Lots of people have smiled at
me though ... maybe fondly reminiscing.

It bothers me more when the media make out that its indecent to bf in
public, but at least in Australia, a woman's right to bf her child whenever
and wherever necessary is protected by anitdiscrimination laws.

I've often though that if anyone did say anything negative I'd invite them
to bring their lunch into the ladies toilet and we could chat about their
problems with me bf in public
Amanda

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
EDD 19th August 2004


  #27  
Old June 4th 04, 04:56 AM
Nan
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

On Thu, 3 Jun 2004 19:00:24 -0400, "Sophie"
wrote:

Mini-vent coming on -

As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
better - ick!


Because you respect other people :-)

This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!


Because they're ignorant ;-)

Okay, done, feel better


Good

Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.


Only once and I just smiled sweetly at the offending party and
continued about my business.
Most of the reaction I've had has been very positive.

Nan

  #28  
Old June 4th 04, 05:14 AM
Leslie
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)


As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
better - ick!


Maybe it bothers you because you realize that bf is just about feeding a baby,
not some kind of sexual thing. If you can bottlefeed in public, and grownups
can eat in public, then a baby should be able to nurse in public!


This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!

Okay, done, feel better

Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.


Only my grandmother. :-) Other than that, I was once asked by a security guard
ion a museum if I wouldn't like to go to the lounge to nurse. IT was phrased
as though she thought I would be more comfortable there, but I definitely got
the vibe that SHE would be more comfortable with me there! I just smiled and
said we were fine.

Oh, and the YMCA had a sign posted that you couldn't nurse your baby in public
there, only in the lounge. I didn't have a baby then, but if I had I was going
to nurse it all over the place there and dare them to say something.

Here's my vent--I NEVER see anyone nursing in public. Thus I assume that
people are either expressing milk into bottles for when they go out, hiding in
bathrooms, or just waiting until they get home to feed. The end result is that
a nursing baby continues to be a rare sight around here, which only adds to the
perception of NIP as shocking. I wish they would hold a nurse-in around here!

Leslie
  #29  
Old June 4th 04, 05:20 AM
Rosenugga
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

Sophie pondered:

As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**??


Because you have a brain and belong to an enlightened generation?



Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.


I must give of grumpy mommy vibes too. I never had any be rude. But then I
only had one person other than family touch my stomach. I used to work with
her and she was completely trashed. It was actually rather amusing as she was
down on her knees hugging and laying her head on my belly. She claimed the
baby was talking to her.

I didn't BF out in public alot though. Partially because I wasn't comfortable
with it and DD used to fall asleep in the car and would often sleep through
most short trips. The only person that got obviously embarrased was our Rebbi.
DD was eating and Rebbi came up behind us in the back row. He said "How's the
little one.. WHOA you're busy I'll come back." The funny things was I was
completely covered but he knew what that blanket meant.

Rose
Mamma to Caity Feb 13 1999 ( Daddy's best birthday present)

  #30  
Old June 4th 04, 05:30 AM
Wendy
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Default Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
wondering.

 




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