baby not sleeping, overly exhausted: PLEASE HELP

I'm at a loss as to what to do. Our DS turned 1yr old and has
been outgrowing his hammock (http://www.ambybaby.com). I wish
we never bought this stupid thing. It lets you rock your baby
back to sleep at night when they wake up, it was good for
a few months. We tried co-sleeping without our little guy
like we did with the 1st baby but he just seemed crabby and
unhappy in bed with us.

Over the last two months he has been waking up more and more
because he rolls over in the hammock. He's just gotten to be
too big for it.

We decided to put away the ambybaby motion bed also because
he was getting close to the weight limit on it. We knew
that if we dismantled it there was no turning back.

We tried co-sleeping with him again and he won't sleep. He figures
mommy/daddy want to play and will go in 8-10hr stretches w/o
sleep. We tried this for a few days and he was MISERABLE.

He's never slept in his crib but We figured maybe we can try it
now.

We put him in his crib starting on Wed during the day. He napped
only 1/2 hour and cried a bit (he used to nap 2hrs). We
started his night time routine and put him in the crib again,
he cried for 45 minutes, we went in and he REALLY woke up, and
wanted to play. We tried to settle him down for 2hrs and nothing.

Finally we decided to leave for a few minutes to figure out what to
do next and he fell asleep on his own in 20 minutes.

He stayed in his crib that night and woke up again twice and cried
for less than 20minutes and fell back asleep. SO..we kinda sorta
stumbled across CIO.

The 2nd day we figured the crib was the best bet with the best results
so far. He again cried when he should have been napping and only
slept a 1/2 hr in it. At night we put him down early and he was
out in only 20minutes of fussing. He woke up a few times and was ok
with a little fussiness and fell asleep. He was up for good at 5am,
we figured he'd settle down like he did yesterday but after an hour
we went in to get him.

His eyelids are puffy, his cheeks are puffy and he looks just exhausted.

How long does this CIO take to work?

Maybe I'm over reacting. But I've never been so panicked in my life.

I've heard that there is a crib that can be rocked. Is there such a
thing? Has anyone used it before? Please if anyone has been thru
changing beds on a baby and gotetn thru it then tell me how long
it took.

Also, no book recommendations. I've read them all...Wesibluth, Ferber,
Pantley, Sears.

Hi -

Since you sort of stumbled into CIO, and since you've got a very
specific problem on your hands, I'd suggest continuing the CIO for a few
more days, maybe as long as a week if you start to see a trend towards
actual sleeping in the crib.

12 months is a difficult age for co-sleeping, in my experience. My kids
both slept more lightly then, with the result that co-sleeping was more
like co-night-waking, all night!

As for the crib ... if you don't have some good sleep associations built
up (other than the hammock), now's a good time to start. A bedtime
routine, maybe a tape that plays gentle music while he's nodding off (IF
and only if the tape is necesary to keep him calm) ... these are
associations worth developing.

Good luck! Remember, firmness and consistency are the only things that
keep parents sane!
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

Do you play music in his room? I use that with both of my daughters. I have
not any trouble with them sleeping since I started playing the radio.It
doesn't have to be very loud. Just loud enough for him to hear it.


--
Thank you,
Carmen Gregoire

Mother of SYS age 2 years
and SLE age 3 months
wrote in message
...
I'm at a loss as to what to do. Our DS turned 1yr old and has
been outgrowing his hammock (http://www.ambybaby.com). I wish
we never bought this stupid thing. It lets you rock your baby
back to sleep at night when they wake up, it was good for
a few months. We tried co-sleeping without our little guy
like we did with the 1st baby but he just seemed crabby and
unhappy in bed with us.

Over the last two months he has been waking up more and more
because he rolls over in the hammock. He's just gotten to be
too big for it.

We decided to put away the ambybaby motion bed also because
he was getting close to the weight limit on it. We knew
that if we dismantled it there was no turning back.

We tried co-sleeping with him again and he won't sleep. He figures
mommy/daddy want to play and will go in 8-10hr stretches w/o
sleep. We tried this for a few days and he was MISERABLE.

He's never slept in his crib but We figured maybe we can try it
now.

We put him in his crib starting on Wed during the day. He napped
only 1/2 hour and cried a bit (he used to nap 2hrs). We
started his night time routine and put him in the crib again,
he cried for 45 minutes, we went in and he REALLY woke up, and
wanted to play. We tried to settle him down for 2hrs and nothing.

Finally we decided to leave for a few minutes to figure out what to
do next and he fell asleep on his own in 20 minutes.

He stayed in his crib that night and woke up again twice and cried
for less than 20minutes and fell back asleep. SO..we kinda sorta
stumbled across CIO.

The 2nd day we figured the crib was the best bet with the best results
so far. He again cried when he should have been napping and only
slept a 1/2 hr in it. At night we put him down early and he was
out in only 20minutes of fussing. He woke up a few times and was ok
with a little fussiness and fell asleep. He was up for good at 5am,
we figured he'd settle down like he did yesterday but after an hour
we went in to get him.

His eyelids are puffy, his cheeks are puffy and he looks just exhausted.

How long does this CIO take to work?

Maybe I'm over reacting. But I've never been so panicked in my life.

I've heard that there is a crib that can be rocked. Is there such a
thing? Has anyone used it before? Please if anyone has been thru
changing beds on a baby and gotetn thru it then tell me how long
it took.

Also, no book recommendations. I've read them all...Wesibluth, Ferber,
Pantley, Sears.

wrote in message
...
I'm at a loss as to what to do. Our DS turned 1yr old and has
been outgrowing his hammock (http://www.ambybaby.com). I wish
we never bought this stupid thing.

Do you have a bedtime routine that you follow? These are some things that I
did. If it was bath night, they first had a bath, then I fed them and rocked
them. After I would read a book (or look at pictures) and sing to them. I
put them to bed in their cribs and they went to sleep. I am also a big
believer in white noise and had a fan in each of the kids room.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

Don't panic. The kid will be okay - sleep is one thing you can't fight
indefinitely, particularly if you have the opportunity. At some point,
he'll conk out in spite of himself. Changing any kind of habit or
routine takes a little time and patience.

However, if you want to avoid trading one problem for another one,
establish your new routine and STICK TO IT. He will adapt - so come up
with a naptime and bedtime pattern, and be relentlessly consistent.
Maybe you cuddle, read a story, have a rock, whatever, you put him in
the crib, pat his back, tuck him in....and you LEAVE...and you don't
keep going back every 20 seconds, because that will reinforce fussing.

If you've read the books, you know that habit forms a powerful
association with sleep, so get those association going to give him the
sleep cues.

I used to marvel as a first time mom when my oldest son went into
daycare at age 2. I could never get him to have an afternoon nap at
home, but at the daycare, all the kids went out like lights on cue. I
now realize that that was because they had a relentless routine around
naptime at the daycare. The kids had had a snack, the cots were put
out, the kids curled up with their blankets and lovies, the lights
were turned low, and they played some soft music, and whammo, those
kids were so "trained" into the pattern, it was like a magic switch
and they'd all conk out on cue. It was such an ingrained habit, I'm
willing to bet you money you could have got most of them to go to
sleep at 9 am just by reproducing the "naptime" routine.

Hang in there - just figure out your routine, and the associations you
want in his head to give him cues its sleep time, and stick with it.
I'm willing to bet a few days in, he'll be passing out when you put
him down.

Mary G.
Mom of three

You need to work out what you want to happen here... why are you
persevering with cio and not cosleeping? Is it important that your
baby sleeps on his own at this stage? I say this as I note you have
not spent such a long time climitising him to the family bed as you
have done cio-ing. Forget the books - what do you want for your child?
If you are panicked, there is a problem. I would personally try
co-sleeping for a few nights more at least. He will soon get the idea
that bed is not for playing when you are all asleep and there is no
action. Any change is going to be unsettling so surely it's better for
him if it is a less traumatic change. But you need to be clear in your
minds what you are doing here and follow it through as gently as
possible. good luck. Lucy

I looked at the hammock you've been using and it seems a lot more snug
than a crib. If your son slept well in it, perhaps some kind of
swaddling in his crib would help the environment seem more familiar.
Other than that you could try music, as some others have suggested.
You could also try introducing a favourite item or stuffed toy as a
lovey.

I wouldn't recommend trying to get another kind of rocking bed, or you
may find yourself with a 2, 3 and 4 yo who cannot sleep without
rocking. IMO, now is the time to get him used to sleeping in a
motionless environment, even if some tiredness and crying is involved.

--Lisa bell
Mom to Gabriella (5.5) and Michaela (4)

On Fri, 18 Jun 2004 09:58:56 -0500, wrote:

I'm at a loss as to what to do. Our DS turned 1yr old and has
been outgrowing his hammock (http://www.ambybaby.com). I wish
we never bought this stupid thing. It lets you rock your baby
back to sleep at night when they wake up, it was good for
a few months. We tried co-sleeping without our little guy
like we did with the 1st baby but he just seemed crabby and
unhappy in bed with us.

Over the last two months he has been waking up more and more
because he rolls over in the hammock. He's just gotten to be
too big for it.

We decided to put away the ambybaby motion bed also because
he was getting close to the weight limit on it. We knew
that if we dismantled it there was no turning back.

We tried co-sleeping with him again and he won't sleep. He figures
mommy/daddy want to play and will go in 8-10hr stretches w/o
sleep. We tried this for a few days and he was MISERABLE.

He's never slept in his crib but We figured maybe we can try it
now.

We put him in his crib starting on Wed during the day. He napped
only 1/2 hour and cried a bit (he used to nap 2hrs). We
started his night time routine and put him in the crib again,
he cried for 45 minutes, we went in and he REALLY woke up, and
wanted to play. We tried to settle him down for 2hrs and nothing.

Finally we decided to leave for a few minutes to figure out what to
do next and he fell asleep on his own in 20 minutes.

He stayed in his crib that night and woke up again twice and cried
for less than 20minutes and fell back asleep. SO..we kinda sorta
stumbled across CIO.

The 2nd day we figured the crib was the best bet with the best results
so far. He again cried when he should have been napping and only
slept a 1/2 hr in it. At night we put him down early and he was
out in only 20minutes of fussing. He woke up a few times and was ok
with a little fussiness and fell asleep. He was up for good at 5am,
we figured he'd settle down like he did yesterday but after an hour
we went in to get him.

His eyelids are puffy, his cheeks are puffy and he looks just exhausted.

How long does this CIO take to work?

Maybe I'm over reacting. But I've never been so panicked in my life.

I've heard that there is a crib that can be rocked. Is there such a
thing? Has anyone used it before? Please if anyone has been thru
changing beds on a baby and gotetn thru it then tell me how long
it took.

Also, no book recommendations. I've read them all...Wesibluth, Ferber,
Pantley, Sears.

In misc.kids.breastfeeding Sue wrote:

Do you have a bedtime routine that you follow? These are some things that I
did. If it was bath night, they first had a bath, then I fed them and rocked
them. After I would read a book (or look at pictures) and sing to them. I
put them to bed in their cribs and they went to sleep. I am also a big
believer in white noise and had a fan in each of the kids room.

Yeah, we have a bedtime routine. Like I said, we've read all the baby book
advice out there. I guess I'm just looking to see someone who's been
thru this, how long it took, how bad it got..etc... for moral support.

He fell asleep again this morning after crying a lot but the neighbor in
our apartment building starting drilling something into the wall :-(

SNIP

How long does this CIO take to work?

Maybe I'm over reacting. But I've never been so panicked in my life.

I've heard that there is a crib that can be rocked. Is there such a
thing? Has anyone used it before? Please if anyone has been thru
changing beds on a baby and gotetn thru it then tell me how long
it took.

Also, no book recommendations. I've read them all...Wesibluth, Ferber,
Pantley, Sears.


I do not know much about Sears, Pantley and Wesibluth. I read Sears and I
have very little recollection of his stuff. But if CIO is something that you
are willing to consider, Ferber may give you a structure in which to place
sleep association re-learning etc.. There is no one answer to how long CIO
will take. Some think that putting the kid to bed and walking away takes
longer than the method layed out by Ferber. Personally, I think it is a bit
kinder to the child.

I am not specifically advocating this for you. I do think that if you have a
crib that can be rocked, you are possibly just delaying the time when your
child has to learn to get to sleep on his own 'till later. If that is OK
with you, cool. But in order to be willing to try new sleep arrangements
willingly, sometimes you have to wait upward of 6 years. If cosleeping WERE
working, then cosleeping would be something you could do until 6 and beyond.
But rocking seems like something that you will eventually have to stop. It
would be easier with a 1 year old than a 2 year old.

The other element of a rocking crib situation is that he will not be able to
sleep if you go visiting to relatives or such.

I know you said no book recommendations, but I can only tell you what I
would do if it were me. I, personally, would re-read Ferber and see if it
could work for me. I guess I have a bias his way since it helped us with our
son.

Good luck.

S

wrote in message
...
I'm at a loss as to what to do. Our DS turned 1yr old and has
been outgrowing his hammock (http://www.ambybaby.com). I wish
we never bought this stupid thing. It lets you rock your baby
back to sleep at night when they wake up, it was good for
a few months. We tried co-sleeping without our little guy
like we did with the 1st baby but he just seemed crabby and
unhappy in bed with us.

Over the last two months he has been waking up more and more
because he rolls over in the hammock. He's just gotten to be
too big for it.

We decided to put away the ambybaby motion bed also because
he was getting close to the weight limit on it. We knew
that if we dismantled it there was no turning back.

We tried co-sleeping with him again and he won't sleep. He figures
mommy/daddy want to play and will go in 8-10hr stretches w/o
sleep. We tried this for a few days and he was MISERABLE.

He's never slept in his crib but We figured maybe we can try it
now.

We put him in his crib starting on Wed during the day. He napped
only 1/2 hour and cried a bit (he used to nap 2hrs). We
started his night time routine and put him in the crib again,
he cried for 45 minutes, we went in and he REALLY woke up, and
wanted to play. We tried to settle him down for 2hrs and nothing.

Finally we decided to leave for a few minutes to figure out what to
do next and he fell asleep on his own in 20 minutes.

He stayed in his crib that night and woke up again twice and cried
for less than 20minutes and fell back asleep. SO..we kinda sorta
stumbled across CIO.

The 2nd day we figured the crib was the best bet with the best results
so far. He again cried when he should have been napping and only
slept a 1/2 hr in it. At night we put him down early and he was
out in only 20minutes of fussing. He woke up a few times and was ok
with a little fussiness and fell asleep. He was up for good at 5am,
we figured he'd settle down like he did yesterday but after an hour
we went in to get him.

His eyelids are puffy, his cheeks are puffy and he looks just exhausted.

How long does this CIO take to work?

Maybe I'm over reacting. But I've never been so panicked in my life.

I've heard that there is a crib that can be rocked. Is there such a
thing? Has anyone used it before? Please if anyone has been thru
changing beds on a baby and gotetn thru it then tell me how long
it took.

Also, no book recommendations. I've read them all...Wesibluth, Ferber,
Pantley, Sears.

Ok - I had a helluva time with DS. I made similar posts as you and was
desperate and miserable and sleep deprived. I would sleep the night in the
rocker with him, I slept on the floor holding his hand through the bars of
his crib. He was unhappy and screaming unless he was rocking in the chair or
more so, he just wanted to sleep on my chest.

All I can say is they eventually outrgrow it. We let him CIO. It sucked. But
it worked. The 1st night was the worst. He was 15 months old and I was at
the end of my rope, completely physically and mentally exhausted. We thought
he would tear down the crib or burst a vocal chord. BUT - i was able to
watch him on the video monitor. I don't know if i could have let him go on
like that if i couldn't see him. He shrieked and threw himself around the
crib for 1hr 45 min. Then layed down and went to sleep and slept for the
night!!!!!!!!!! (alot of exclamation points because he was usually up after
20 min!) The next night he cried 20 min and by the end of the week he would
cry maybe 2 minutes!! We had a routine.

At 18 months he got a toddler bed. He just plain hated his crib. By 2 he was
in a twin bed. He is 3 and all that is in the past now. If we had bad
nights/weeks with DD (who is 1) we just say "well - in 2 years this won't be
a problem" and cross our fingers.

Good luck to you. Everyone will be happier if the baby sleeps and you sleep
too.



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