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#21
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
I imagine its no picnic ... but you still seem ... umm ... "brighter" than
the last time I heard from you. I actually have made several good friends from playgroup and from the kindy K goes to. Mind you, there are quite a few who I'll never have anything in common with. Perhaps your horizons will seem bigger in Wellington... (and with some support with your sister there). I guess its a difficult decision to make. Thanks, it's good to have an outside perspective I AM an optimist - if I wasn't I can quite honestly say, with my depression, that I probably wouldn't be here. I completed another element of the main unit standard today - yay! I'm trying hard not to see this year as a failure. Finally, at 25, I more or less know what I want to do with my life, and I've taken some steps to get there, so that's a good thing. I think a lot of the loneliness of living here stems from being single. If I had a full time job and partner, I'd be content to have a few casual acquaintances and probably wouldn't have much time for anything else. ...and yes - they are a practical bunch of boys, but I also think a bit of talking wouldn't go astray either. Heh, if you figure that one out, let the rest of woman-kind in on the secret ;-) One of the things I find the hardest to deal with is the kids. Unfortunately, it was a graveside service and while DD understands what happened, DS (just turned 3) thinks that G'dad is only dead because we put him in a hole. He quite regularly tells us that's he's going to get a rope and rescue G'dad Geez, now that IS tough! Have you tried the library? I've heard there are a lot of good books on death & dying these days specifically written for preschoolers and young school-age children. Ana's the same age and we just lost the rabbit we've had her whole life, and I found myself at a loss for the right words. 'Asha's gone to heaven' was the first thing that sprang to mind, but it doesn't sit right for me as I'm not Christian and I don't believe in the typical heaven concept. In the end we settled for 'died' and I decided to save the theology discussion for later. I don't know what I'd do in that situation. Probably go on Wikipedia and find articles relating to death and decomposition, followed by a discussion on the concept of a soul, but yeah... that's probably not appropriate, I'm weird like that :-O Amy |
#22
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
"Mum of Two" wrote in message ... I imagine its no picnic ... but you still seem ... umm ... "brighter" than the last time I heard from you. I actually have made several good friends from playgroup and from the kindy K goes to. Mind you, there are quite a few who I'll never have anything in common with. Perhaps your horizons will seem bigger in Wellington... (and with some support with your sister there). I guess its a difficult decision to make. Thanks, it's good to have an outside perspective I AM an optimist - if I wasn't I can quite honestly say, with my depression, that I probably wouldn't be here. I completed another element of the main unit standard today - yay! I'm trying hard not to see this year as a failure. Finally, at 25, I more or less know what I want to do with my life, and I've taken some steps to get there, so that's a good thing. Well, if it means anything, I'm a 37 yo scientist and while I do enjoy what I do, part of me is thinking that a career change to be a teacher wouldn't be such a bad move. (I'm quite passionate about getting enthusiastic science teachers into primary shcools, and while working on that for one of our projects, it did occur to me that *I'd* make an enthusuastic science teacher.....) Oh ... and I didn't leave uni and get my first *real* job until I was 26 so that might make you feel better as well. I think a lot of the loneliness of living here stems from being single. If I had a full time job and partner, I'd be content to have a few casual acquaintances and probably wouldn't have much time for anything else. I can understand that. I moved 1700 km away from fiance, friends and family for my first *real* job. It was a small town and if it weren't for a couple of other girls in the same boat, and some fantasic neighbours who took me into their family, I would have really struggled. ...and yes - they are a practical bunch of boys, but I also think a bit of talking wouldn't go astray either. Heh, if you figure that one out, let the rest of woman-kind in on the secret ;-) One of the things I find the hardest to deal with is the kids. Unfortunately, it was a graveside service and while DD understands what happened, DS (just turned 3) thinks that G'dad is only dead because we put him in a hole. He quite regularly tells us that's he's going to get a rope and rescue G'dad Geez, now that IS tough! Have you tried the library? I've heard there are a lot of good books on death & dying these days specifically written for preschoolers and young school-age children. Ana's the same age and we just lost the rabbit we've had her whole life, and I found myself at a loss for the right words. 'Asha's gone to heaven' was the first thing that sprang to mind, but it doesn't sit right for me as I'm not Christian and I don't believe in the typical heaven concept. In the end we settled for 'died' and I decided to save the theology discussion for later. I don't know what I'd do in that situation. Probably go on Wikipedia and find articles relating to death and decomposition, followed by a discussion on the concept of a soul, but yeah... that's probably not appropriate, I'm weird like that :-O I had a great resource in DD's kindy library. They have a memorial library there which has a lot of books on explaining death to children (sad story - its dedicated to one of the kindy Mum's from 2005 who was Dx with cancer and died within a matter of months). Everything I read said to explain everything to the kids ... age appropriatly ... but to explain what death means. I also had a good friend who's hubby lost his Mum the year before - she gave me heaps of advice on what to expect from DH as well as info on explaining death to preschoolers. But, I am a Christian, so explaining my idea of heaven and the concept of a soul to the kids was the easy part. DD (5) seemed to understand everything very well, but DS (3) is the one who has struggled with it all. I think he picks up on the fact that Daddy is still very sad and wants to make Daddy happy by "rescuing" G'dad. Like I said - its getting the "grown-up" boys to talk which is far more difficult! Amanda |
#23
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
Well, if it means anything, I'm a 37 yo scientist and while I do enjoy
what I do, part of me is thinking that a career change to be a teacher wouldn't be such a bad move. (I'm quite passionate about getting enthusiastic science teachers into primary shcools, and while working on that for one of our projects, it did occur to me that *I'd* make an enthusuastic science teacher.....) Oh ... and I didn't leave uni and get my first *real* job until I was 26 so that might make you feel better as well. Is it such a big jump to turn to teaching? Because I agree, good science teachers are SO important! I had a great science teacher in forms 3/4 of highschool, but he left during & because of the bulk funding disputes and I was absolutely gutted. This was the guy who had us growing crystal gardens and competing in races with our minature vehicles for crunchie bar prizes. I have no doubt that had he stayed on, I'd have taken physics instead of chemistry (which I failed miserably due to long calculations and discalculia) and been further ahead now than I am. Teachers and tertiary tutors alike 'sell' the subject matter to their pupils - a love for it is infectious and it makes the work involved seem like nothing. I had a great resource in DD's kindy library. They have a memorial library there which has a lot of books on explaining death to children (sad story - its dedicated to one of the kindy Mum's from 2005 who was Dx with cancer and died within a matter of months). Everything I read said to explain everything to the kids ... age appropriatly ... but to explain what death means. I also had a good friend who's hubby lost his Mum the year before - she gave me heaps of advice on what to expect from DH as well as info on explaining death to preschoolers. But, I am a Christian, so explaining my idea of heaven and the concept of a soul to the kids was the easy part. DD (5) seemed to understand everything very well, but DS (3) is the one who has struggled with it all. Heh.. I've always said science and religion weren't mutually exclusive. I have that argument out with every stubborn scientist and fundamentalist I meet. It's always refreshing to come across people who can successfully combine the two. I think he picks up on the fact that Daddy is still very sad and wants to make Daddy happy by "rescuing" G'dad. Like I said - its getting the "grown-up" boys to talk which is far more difficult! Oh dear.. it sounds like the male idea of 'fixing' people's problems starts young! I hope you find a way to get through to the 'big' boys. We're still working through the goldfish and the rabbit, so yeah.. Amy |
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