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#1
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a little advice needed
This is really rare but i am a divorced mother who pays child support. I
currently pay 600.00 for my two boys. Back last year in july my ex husband put a temporary restraining order on me because i wanted to move an hour away and he thought i was gonna take the kids with me and not bring them back. Which was never mentioned or anything. Plus an argument between my brother and father happened while my children were there the last day i seen them. i havent seen them at all in six months and he threatens me with if hes not getting a child support check i cant talk to them and i can only talk to them two nights a week before seven. here lately he has been getting child support but not letting me talk to them at all (he wont answer his phone). he threatens me by saying he will take me back to court since i am four thousand dollars behind in child support. Anyone have any advice on this at all. |
#2
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a little advice needed
"kennyfan06" u40691@uwe wrote in message news:7e4eb52717064@uwe...
This is really rare but i am a divorced mother who pays child support. I currently pay 600.00 for my two boys. Back last year in july my ex husband put a temporary restraining order on me because i wanted to move an hour away and he thought i was gonna take the kids with me and not bring them back. Which was never mentioned or anything. Plus an argument between my brother and father happened while my children were there the last day i seen them. i havent seen them at all in six months and he threatens me with if hes not getting a child support check i cant talk to them and i can only talk to them two nights a week before seven. here lately he has been getting child support but not letting me talk to them at all (he wont answer his phone). he threatens me by saying he will take me back to court since i am four thousand dollars behind in child support. Anyone have any advice on this at all. ==== File a petition to enforce visitation. No atty. needed. Child support is a different matter unconnected to visitation. He cannot withhold visitation due to unpaid support. Has the restraining order been lifted? |
#3
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a little advice needed
no. he wont lift it. he says it cant be unless i take it back to court .
Gini wrote: This is really rare but i am a divorced mother who pays child support. I currently pay 600.00 for my two boys. Back last year in july my ex husband [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] thousand dollars behind in child support. Anyone have any advice on this at all. ==== File a petition to enforce visitation. No atty. needed. Child support is a different matter unconnected to visitation. He cannot withhold visitation due to unpaid support. Has the restraining order been lifted? -- steph |
#4
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a little advice needed
the restraining order was for me wanting to move and he thought i was taking
them with me and not bringing them back. the restraining order has nothing to do with the child support. but he is not letting me talk to them cause we have had some "Myspace wars " going on. just childish stuff Gini wrote: This is really rare but i am a divorced mother who pays child support. I currently pay 600.00 for my two boys. Back last year in july my ex husband [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] thousand dollars behind in child support. Anyone have any advice on this at all. ==== File a petition to enforce visitation. No atty. needed. Child support is a different matter unconnected to visitation. He cannot withhold visitation due to unpaid support. Has the restraining order been lifted? -- steph |
#5
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a little advice needed
"kennyfan06" u40691@uwe wrote in message news:7e4eb52717064@uwe... This is really rare but i am a divorced mother who pays child support. I currently pay 600.00 for my two boys. Back last year in july my ex husband put a temporary restraining order on me because i wanted to move an hour away and he thought i was gonna take the kids with me and not bring them back. Which was never mentioned or anything. Plus an argument between my brother and father happened while my children were there the last day i seen them. i havent seen them at all in six months and he threatens me with if hes not getting a child support check i cant talk to them and i can only talk to them two nights a week before seven. here lately he has been getting child support but not letting me talk to them at all (he wont answer his phone). he threatens me by saying he will take me back to court since i am four thousand dollars behind in child support. Anyone have any advice on this at all. Like Gini said - CS payments and visitation are legally unrelated. What that means is your contact with the children is not dependent on whether or not you pay CS on time. Your divorce decree should spell out the terms of visitation (some states call it access). If the terms are not being followed you can suggest to your ex-husband your option to file a Motion For Contempt of Court to force your right to visitation. I would keep that legal option very low key by saying you want to work it out between the two of you as adults and not have to get the court involved with a contempt proceeding. If your decree has more generic visitation language (something like reasonable and seasonal visitation) you can get what each court calls their "standard visitation order". Most of them are very structured and detailed so they are not flexible enough to meet the realities of parenting. But they do lay out a schedule for every other weekend, alternating holidays, birthdays, summer vacations, etc. Many states are adopting legislation to allow the parents to develop and agree on what are called Parenting Plans. They are usually put together through a court related mediation facilitator and approved by the judge. They are modeled after the specific lifestyles of the parents and children and go so far as to detail if changes need to be made to the schedule, how the parents will communicate and be given compensatory time for any adjustments. |
#6
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a little advice needed
"kennyfan06" u40691@uwe wrote in message news:7e4fa866b9fa9@uwe... the restraining order was for me wanting to move and he thought i was taking them with me and not bringing them back. the restraining order has nothing to do with the child support. but he is not letting me talk to them cause we have had some "Myspace wars " going on. just childish stuff This doesn't sound quite right. Judges will sign just about anything when it comes to RO's and they sign them ex parte so you have to ask for a hearing to give your side of the story. But an RO should not be used to modify the visitation terms in a divorce decree. And you have a Constitutional right to live wherever you want. Re your other comment - He can have the RO rescinded by telling the court it is no longer needed. In any event, RO's have expiration dates, but they can be re-upped. My personal opinion of RO's is they are attempts to control the other party. They do not protect anyone from anything. They are just pieces of paper that make people feel powerful. As an example - my ex knew I was taking our children on a vacation trip to an adjoining state to see my realtives. She got an RO telling me I could not take the children out of state. I got it rescinded, but the issue was she was just being nasty about a lot of things to give me a hard time. |
#7
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a little advice needed
thanks for all the comments. but we do have a parenting plan and a schedule
of every other weekend and holidays. but the judge signed this RO and i havent been able to see them at all in six months because of it. his mom and wife now both work at our courthouse. his mom has been there for 20 years as a clerk and his wife a few years now. she is in the juvenile department of the courthouse. i live in Tennessee. Bob Whiteside wrote: This is really rare but i am a divorced mother who pays child support. I currently pay 600.00 for my two boys. Back last year in july my ex husband [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] thousand dollars behind in child support. Anyone have any advice on this at all. Like Gini said - CS payments and visitation are legally unrelated. What that means is your contact with the children is not dependent on whether or not you pay CS on time. Your divorce decree should spell out the terms of visitation (some states call it access). If the terms are not being followed you can suggest to your ex-husband your option to file a Motion For Contempt of Court to force your right to visitation. I would keep that legal option very low key by saying you want to work it out between the two of you as adults and not have to get the court involved with a contempt proceeding. If your decree has more generic visitation language (something like reasonable and seasonal visitation) you can get what each court calls their "standard visitation order". Most of them are very structured and detailed so they are not flexible enough to meet the realities of parenting. But they do lay out a schedule for every other weekend, alternating holidays, birthdays, summer vacations, etc. Many states are adopting legislation to allow the parents to develop and agree on what are called Parenting Plans. They are usually put together through a court related mediation facilitator and approved by the judge. They are modeled after the specific lifestyles of the parents and children and go so far as to detail if changes need to be made to the schedule, how the parents will communicate and be given compensatory time for any adjustments. -- steph |
#8
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a little advice needed
he wont lift the restraining order i have tried to ask him too. he told me i
have to take him back to court first. Bob Whiteside wrote: the restraining order was for me wanting to move and he thought i was taking them with me and not bringing them back. the restraining order has nothing to do with the child support. but he is not letting me talk to them cause we have had some "Myspace wars " going on. just childish stuff This doesn't sound quite right. Judges will sign just about anything when it comes to RO's and they sign them ex parte so you have to ask for a hearing to give your side of the story. But an RO should not be used to modify the visitation terms in a divorce decree. And you have a Constitutional right to live wherever you want. Re your other comment - He can have the RO rescinded by telling the court it is no longer needed. In any event, RO's have expiration dates, but they can be re-upped. My personal opinion of RO's is they are attempts to control the other party. They do not protect anyone from anything. They are just pieces of paper that make people feel powerful. As an example - my ex knew I was taking our children on a vacation trip to an adjoining state to see my realtives. She got an RO telling me I could not take the children out of state. I got it rescinded, but the issue was she was just being nasty about a lot of things to give me a hard time. -- steph |
#9
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a little advice needed
"kennyfan06" u40691@uwe wrote in message news:7e50d9f50de0e@uwe... thanks for all the comments. but we do have a parenting plan and a schedule of every other weekend and holidays. but the judge signed this RO and i havent been able to see them at all in six months because of it. his mom and wife now both work at our courthouse. his mom has been there for 20 years as a clerk and his wife a few years now. she is in the juvenile department of the courthouse. i live in Tennessee. So if you have a parenting plan in place that covers your visitation rights, there must be some valid reason the court is not willing to enforce the existing order. What are you restrained from doing? |
#10
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a little advice needed
"kennyfan06" u40691@uwe wrote in message news:7e50dd8195759@uwe...
he wont lift the restraining order i have tried to ask him too. he told me i have to take him back to court first. === Why haven't you done that? ==== Bob Whiteside wrote: the restraining order was for me wanting to move and he thought i was taking them with me and not bringing them back. the restraining order has nothing to do with the child support. but he is not letting me talk to them cause we have had some "Myspace wars " going on. just childish stuff This doesn't sound quite right. Judges will sign just about anything when it comes to RO's and they sign them ex parte so you have to ask for a hearing to give your side of the story. But an RO should not be used to modify the visitation terms in a divorce decree. And you have a Constitutional right to live wherever you want. Re your other comment - He can have the RO rescinded by telling the court it is no longer needed. In any event, RO's have expiration dates, but they can be re-upped. My personal opinion of RO's is they are attempts to control the other party. They do not protect anyone from anything. They are just pieces of paper that make people feel powerful. As an example - my ex knew I was taking our children on a vacation trip to an adjoining state to see my realtives. She got an RO telling me I could not take the children out of state. I got it rescinded, but the issue was she was just being nasty about a lot of things to give me a hard time. -- steph |
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