Planning my Future SAH Experience

I'm a 24 year old CS Manager in Indy. My fiancee is a IT Security
Director with a very successful career track. I'm only beginning to
open up the doors to my career, but I'm much more interested in the
SAH track for now. We've decided to have children starting within the
next year (we'll be married in less than 3 months). My main concern
is, since we're new to the area (our closest family is 4 hours away),
and therefore, I have very few contacts here, that I will not have the
know-how or the know-who to find a job/start a business that 1) allows
me to work from home and 2)doesn't necessitate a lot of my time, but
3) gives me opportunity to keep growing as a person in our new
community while I'm also growing as a mommy for my family. Work will
most likely not be necessary financially for a 5-10 year at home stay
with our children, however, I would like to continue a hobby/job that
pulls in a light paycheck so I still feel that I'm contributing
financially. I would just like to know if anyone else has been in the
same boat and any suggestions that he/she may have for me to help plan
my quickly-developing future?

Many thanks!

One of the top things I would recommend for anyone is to read. Since
you don't have kids yet but are planning for them in the future....now
is the ideal time to read and you'll have plenty of time for it.
Naturally there are lots of books about the what to expect when you're
pregnant and what to expect through the first months, years, growth
milestones, etc....but then there is also a large selection of so much
more. Some of the best books I've read about children and the way they
learn are by John Holt.(he has several...like 'How Children Learn').
Another recommend book is the 'Read-Aloud Handbook' by Jim Trelease.
He also includes a list of 'books' for kids in the back of the book.
Now while you are still working is a good time to save money for when
you stop as well as build a nice 'kids book collection' (even from
library sales, etc.) There are lots of excellent suggestions from
'homeschool' groups, websites, and books for more reading as well as
'activities' to do with your kids. For kids I personally would
recommend limiting TV, video games, un-educational computer games,
etc. There are even books about these activities as well and why they
should be limited. After reading you can have enough information to
decide for yourself. (Jane Healy writes about this).
As far as a 'career' - if you don't need to work...enjoy the time with
your kids. If you think you will need to work...I'd suggest a career
move that works around your kids...some say if you can get into it
medical transcription or billing can offer work from home. Some say
the education field works best...(if you find a school system you feel
comfortable with - preschool...maybe). Again...now while you have the
time is the easiest to start toward a transition.
Good Luck.



On 12 Apr 2004 14:36:54 -0700, (Bresslady) wrote:

I'm a 24 year old CS Manager in Indy. My fiancee is a IT Security
Director with a very successful career track. I'm only beginning to
open up the doors to my career, but I'm much more interested in the
SAH track for now. We've decided to have children starting within the
next year (we'll be married in less than 3 months). My main concern
is, since we're new to the area (our closest family is 4 hours away),
and therefore, I have very few contacts here, that I will not have the
know-how or the know-who to find a job/start a business that 1) allows
me to work from home and 2)doesn't necessitate a lot of my time, but
3) gives me opportunity to keep growing as a person in our new
community while I'm also growing as a mommy for my family. Work will
most likely not be necessary financially for a 5-10 year at home stay
with our children, however, I would like to continue a hobby/job that
pulls in a light paycheck so I still feel that I'm contributing
financially. I would just like to know if anyone else has been in the
same boat and any suggestions that he/she may have for me to help plan
my quickly-developing future?

Many thanks!



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Bresslady wrote in :

I'm a 24 year old CS Manager in Indy. My fiancee is a IT Security
Director with a very successful career track. I'm only beginning to
open up the doors to my career, but I'm much more interested in the
SAH track for now. We've decided to have children starting within the
next year (we'll be married in less than 3 months).

Why?

I mean, you are still quite young to have children, so what is the hurry?
Can't you wait a further 12 months before trying to get pregnant: if you
were 44 (or even 34), there would be sensible reasons for having children as
soon as possible. But not at 24.

My main concern
is, since we're new to the area (our closest family is 4 hours away),
and therefore, I have very few contacts here, that I will not have the
know-how or the know-who to find a job/start a business that 1) allows
me to work from home and 2)doesn't necessitate a lot of my time, but

If you were to wait another 12 months you could spend the time now, when you
are not concerned with pregnancy/early babyhood worries, and really lay
the foundations for your business. I imagine whatever business you
start would require a lot of knocking on doors before you get to doing
the work that you can do at home, so the more doors you knock on now the
more established you will be later.

3) gives me opportunity to keep growing as a person in our new
community while I'm also growing as a mommy for my family. Work will
most likely not be necessary financially for a 5-10 year at home stay
with our children, however, I would like to continue a hobby/job that
pulls in a light paycheck so I still feel that I'm contributing
financially. I would just like to know if anyone else has been in the
same boat and any suggestions that he/she may have for me to help plan
my quickly-developing future?

I think it is really good that you are planning ahead like this.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

On Tue, 13 Apr 2004 19:15:41 +0100, Penny Gaines
wrote:

Bresslady wrote in :

I'm a 24 year old CS Manager in Indy. My fiancee is a IT Security
Director with a very successful career track. I'm only beginning to
open up the doors to my career, but I'm much more interested in the
SAH track for now. We've decided to have children starting within the
next year (we'll be married in less than 3 months).

Why?

I mean, you are still quite young to have children, so what is the hurry?
Can't you wait a further 12 months before trying to get pregnant: if you
were 44 (or even 34), there would be sensible reasons for having children as
soon as possible. But not at 24.

I don't see why it isn't "sensible" now. If that's what they
want, then go for it. Besides, one never knows how long it will
take to get pregnant anyway.


P. Tierney

On Tue, 13 Apr 2004 14:35:29 GMT, Kris wrote:

Some of the best books I've read about children and
the way they learn are by John Holt.(he has several...
like 'How Children Learn'). Another recommend book
is the 'Read-Aloud Handbook' by Jim Trelease.

I like your suggestions, but my top pick for anyone who
is going to be a new parent is still:

How to Talk So Children Will Listen and Listen So Children
Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

They have several other books that are great as well.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

"P. Tierney" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 13 Apr 2004 19:15:41 +0100, Penny Gaines
wrote:

Bresslady wrote in :

I'm a 24 year old CS Manager in Indy. My fiancee is a IT Security
Director with a very successful career track. I'm only beginning to
open up the doors to my career, but I'm much more interested in the
SAH track for now. We've decided to have children starting within the
next year (we'll be married in less than 3 months).

Why?

I mean, you are still quite young to have children, so what is the hurry?
Can't you wait a further 12 months before trying to get pregnant: if you
were 44 (or even 34), there would be sensible reasons for having children
as
soon as possible. But not at 24.

I don't see why it isn't "sensible" now. If that's what they
want, then go for it. Besides, one never knows how long it will
take to get pregnant anyway.

I do think it's sensible to wait. Marriage can really change the dynamics
in a relationship. Some couples manage it better than others. Better to
wait till after the wedding to see how things are or to regain some footing
before introducing an added stress.

I'm a 24 year old CS Manager in Indy. My fiancee is a IT Security
Director with a very successful career track. I'm only beginning to
open up the doors to my career, but I'm much more interested in the
SAH track for now. We've decided to have children starting within the
next year (we'll be married in less than 3 months).

Why?

I agree with Penny too. I personally would wait. Marriage the first year can
be so hard. I know it was for us and for many people around us. And we lived
together before we got married. If we had added a child to that dynamics the
first year, I'm not so sure we would have made it. I think it's better to
have couple time and do things as a new couple than to add a child into the
mix so soon. Children change your lives and for some it is a shock to their
lifestyles.

--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...

"P. Tierney" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 13 Apr 2004 19:15:41 +0100, Penny Gaines
wrote:

Bresslady wrote in :

I'm a 24 year old CS Manager in Indy. My fiancee is a IT Security
Director with a very successful career track. I'm only beginning to
open up the doors to my career, but I'm much more interested in the
SAH track for now. We've decided to have children starting within the
next year (we'll be married in less than 3 months).

Why?

I mean, you are still quite young to have children, so what is the hurry?
Can't you wait a further 12 months before trying to get pregnant: if you
were 44 (or even 34), there would be sensible reasons for having children
as
soon as possible. But not at 24.

I don't see why it isn't "sensible" now. If that's what they
want, then go for it. Besides, one never knows how long it will
take to get pregnant anyway.

Oh, heavens, I'm so with Penny on this one. I love my kid (soon to be
kids) but the best thing I ever did was not have them until I was in my
thirties. What is the rush? I always figure that one's twenties are the
time to get one's career established, enjoy one's marriage while it's
one-on-one, travel, play, invest... all of the things that are a thousand
times more difficult once the kids start arriving.

Donna

Bresslady wrote:
I'm a 24 year old CS Manager in Indy. My fiancee is a IT Security
Director with a very successful career track. I'm only beginning to
open up the doors to my career, but I'm much more interested in the
SAH track for now. We've decided to have children starting within the
next year (we'll be married in less than 3 months). My main concern
is, since we're new to the area (our closest family is 4 hours away),
and therefore, I have very few contacts here, that I will not have the
know-how or the know-who to find a job/start a business that 1) allows
me to work from home and 2)doesn't necessitate a lot of my time, but
3) gives me opportunity to keep growing as a person in our new
community while I'm also growing as a mommy for my family. Work will
most likely not be necessary financially for a 5-10 year at home stay
with our children, however, I would like to continue a hobby/job that
pulls in a light paycheck so I still feel that I'm contributing
financially. I would just like to know if anyone else has been in the
same boat and any suggestions that he/she may have for me to help plan
my quickly-developing future?

Many thanks!


If it's important to you to be able to work from home while your
children are small, I'm going to chime in here and agree with the
posters who recommended waiting awhile to have children. It's a lot
easier to lay the groundwork for an at-home job before you have kids.

I'm a computer programmer, and work from home about 25 hours a week. I
have almost completely flexible hours, and I have 2 kids. I don't think
there's any way I'd have had this good a situation without being solidly
established in my career before I even thought of having children.

Clisby

Clisby wrote:
Bresslady wrote:
I'm a 24 year old CS Manager in Indy. My fiancee is a IT Security
Director with a very successful career track. I'm only beginning to
open up the doors to my career, but I'm much more interested in the
SAH track for now. We've decided to have children starting within
the next year (we'll be married in less than 3 months). My main
concern is, since we're new to the area (our closest family is 4
hours away), and therefore, I have very few contacts here, that I
will not have the know-how or the know-who to find a job/start a
business that 1) allows me to work from home and 2)doesn't
necessitate a lot of my time, but 3) gives me opportunity to keep
growing as a person in our new community while I'm also growing as a
mommy for my family. Work will most likely not be necessary
financially for a 5-10 year at home stay with our children, however,
I would like to continue a hobby/job that pulls in a light paycheck
so I still feel that I'm contributing financially. I would just
like to know if anyone else has been in the same boat and any
suggestions that he/she may have for me to help plan my
quickly-developing future?

Many thanks!


If it's important to you to be able to work from home while your
children are small, I'm going to chime in here and agree with the
posters who recommended waiting awhile to have children. It's a lot
easier to lay the groundwork for an at-home job before you have kids.

I'm a computer programmer, and work from home about 25 hours a week.
I have almost completely flexible hours, and I have 2 kids. I don't
think there's any way I'd have had this good a situation without
being solidly established in my career before I even thought of
having children.

I work full time from at a home office. I still need lots and lots of child
care to get 40 hours a week in and I do lots of travel/need to have office
hours etc. The pay off, I think/hope, is going to be when they are school
age, not babies. Anyway...I had to really pull out all the stops and go
above and beyond in my previous jobs to get me this really great job...and
then I had kids. I would not/could not have devoted that much time to my
career with kids. I guess I'm just chiming in with the others thatsaid if
you want some kind of specialized work (either self employed or work from
home) it takes a lot of effort before hand so I'd get that hammered out
before you plan the baby.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)