kindergarten misbehavior and parental follow-through

My daughter is five, and she attended Head Start at ages three and
four. So, when she started Kindergarten, she knew the things the went
over. Her current knowledge consisted of: colors, shapes, numbers,
parent names, age, birthday,etc. Most importantly, she knew how to
spell/write/recognize her name and alphabets.

She would do her work, get bored, and then talk to her classmates.
Well, she brought a note home over the course of a week for talking.

I went and volunteered to see what was going on. Well, my child has
done alot less talking compared to the things I saw in that classroom.
The behavioral problems were out of this world. At least my child
stayed in her seat and did her work before talking; not running around
the room, cursing, fighting, stripping,etc.

From then on, I didn't pay attention to the talking notes because my
daughter was the tattle-tail. But, at least she wasn't doing what they
were doing. I was proud of her for not following them and acting out
in the classroom. But, I am the type of parent that, when I get a note,
I follow through by talking to the teacher. I also volunteer to see
what is going on.

I continue to volunteer and help out in the classroom because the
teachers need a break -sometimes, also a helping hand. But they are
both good teachers and have a kind heart.

Rosalie B. wrote:
If I got a note from the teacher I would ask what the punishment was
AT THE TIME. Something should be happening THERE in order to nip the
behavior in the bud. The fact that it is continuing means that
appropriate counter-measures are not being taken.

I agree with Rosalie.

One thing you might try is have all the boys over to your house for a
playdate, and observe what goes on for yourself. I'd be curious if they
act out together in any environment, in which case it may be just the
mix of personalities. Or whether it is just at school, which may
indicate the teacher needs to try some different approaches.

If they do act out together while at the playdate, it might give you an
opportunity to work with the kids towards better ways of interacting.
Not suggesting you discipline these other children, but you could try
re-directing them and helping them build more positive social skills.

Just a thought, at any rate. At very least, it'd give you some more
insight into exactly what the teacher is dealing with at school.

My youngest has a friend that when the two are together, watch out!
There's just something about their personalities that feed off each
other, and they often get into mischief. I know the mom very well,
she's going through a nasty divorce and has her hands full. We have her
daughter over a lot, and this mom doesn't mind if I intervene to gently
redirect. She's basically a good kid, just going through a really
turbulent time right now, and I think a lot of her acting out is
attention getting. Meanwhile, I also work with my own daughter, so
she's not so prone to follow her friend into mischief. It's a
two-pronged approach.

The two of them have been in the same class since K, and I long ago
figured this was the best strategy, versus trying to discourage their
friendship altogether. If your son is likely to have these other
children in his class from here on out, you might give it a thought,
too. I figure the teachers have enough on their hands, they could use a
little help on this front.
Good luck! I empathize with your frustration!

jen