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#152
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
"Donna" wrote in message ...
"Nan" wrote in message ... On Sun, 29 Feb 2004 20:01:08 -0800, DeliciousTruffles wrote: 1) I didn't have enough milk Amazingly, this is a very common one, too. And it's perpetuated by doctors, unfortunately. I was really lucky - the hospital where I gave birth has free 24 hour lactation counselors on staff, and you can speak/meet with them at any time you are nursing - even years after you are discharged from the hospital. And my pediatrician is a wonderful woman about my age, who had her third child shortly after I had my first. She was a wonderful font of encouragement for nursing. As was my OB (also another woman). I wonder if female practicioners are more prone to encouraging nursing than are their male counterparts? Donna IME, yes. Brandy |
#153
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
LeAnn wrote:
I would not support putting a baby to sleep on it's stomach because it endangers it's life, formula feeding your child does not endanger it's life. Like I said, I would never say one is better than the other, I'm just saying that you have to respect the fact that women have a choice in the matter. I'm not discounting the studies that have been done, and in fact I'd probably agree with them because I know that God provided the best 'formula' possible when creating breastmilk. But it is not my preference to breastfeed. My son was bottlefed and is a grade ahead in reading and is already better at math than I am (he is only 8), he is healthy and strong and very rarely gets sick. Sure it doesn't prove anything, at least to the world, but it's enough for me. It is my opinion, I'm not trying to force it upon anyone, I'm only asking for respect in my choice. You may be conflating separate issues. People can respect your right to choose without respecting your choice. People can respect your choice without agreeing with it. People do not have to agree that formula and breastmilk are nutritionally equivalent in order to respect either your choice or your right to choose. I think it helps the discussion along considerably to keep separate issues in their own places. Best wishes, Ericka |
#154
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
"Nan" wrote in message ... On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 11:10:34 -0500, Marie wrote: On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 11:26:33 -0500, Nan wrote: On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 10:56:28 -0500, Marie wrote: Because the majority of the time, it wasn't thought out... And you know this because....... Because I am told? Because when a mother tells me "I just didn't want to" or "I never even thought about it" it shows she didn't think about it? But that tells me they did, and chose not to. You don't need to understand, or like it, just accept it, and move on. Or don't. It's up to you, obviously. I think there's a vast difference between "Accepting others' choices" and "Approving others' choices." Those of us who accept, but do not approve, are labeled "judgmental". This is inaccurate. --angela |
#155
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 16:58:56 GMT, "Jill" wrote:
That's another thing that irks me. Some breastfeeders will not give it a rest until you say that breastfed babies are healthier than pitiful deprived formula fed babies. Breastmilk is healthier, but you have no right to say that formula fed babies are NOT ok/healthy. Most people aren't nearly rude enough to be that blatant to your face, even if they really think that. The available facts are that breastmilk is the healthiest choice across populations, and that there are very few medical reasons that would make formula feeding a better choice. As long as people recognize that the statistical baby and my personal baby aren't necessarily the same baby (so an individual formula-fed baby can certainly be healthier than an individual breastmilk-fed baby), there isn't a problem. The facts aren't a judgment, they're just the facts. None of those facts equate to me having been a bad mother for the periods of time when the boys had formula, it simply means that, whatver the reasoning, they were not receiving optimal nutrition at those times. Sometimes people hear facts and feel a judgment is implied when it's not the case. Some people just won't give it a rest. My feeling isn't even questioning that breast milk is best, but people do really annoy me the way they are holier-than-thou and judgemental because truly, I myself have never been that nosey into someone else's business. I understand this, and also find holier-than-thou posts annoying. However, I do sympathize with those who are just trying to make sure that accurate information is out there, because unfortunately, there's a lot of inaccurate information shared with new moms by doctors, nurses, family, friends, etc. |
#156
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
"Marie" wrote in message ... On 2 Mar 2004 12:39:14 -0800, (LeAnn) wrote: You could also say that working mothers should stay at home with their children because it's what's best for them. Most of the working mothers I know would stay home if they could afford it. Many regret that they have to work. You are comparing formula to junk food??????? Um, you're the one who brought up the comparison and now you're shocked?! And yes a comparison can be made between the two. Formula/junk food is less healthy than breastmilk/healthy food. Now, now, now. Hold on. Breastmilk is the biological norm for human infants. Commercially-produced formula is however nourishing, and (for most children) a well-tolerated source of body-building nutrition. Some children - in fact many of our parents and even more of our grandparents, survived just fine on homemade formulas from tinned milk, sugar or corn syrup, and water. I think this says more about the resiliency of humans than it does about the suitability of the alternative types of food, but that's my opinion. Formula is not junk food, and almost nobody(*) would feed their child a diet of nothing but junk food. Neither is it ideal food - though it *is* nutritionally adequate. (Junk food, too, may be considered 'nutritionally acceptable' in small quantities. Goodness knows, my own children seem to get plenty of it, and they're healthy.) However, a child under the age of (at least) 4 months, and (better) 6 months, and (predominantly) until the age of one year, may consume nothing other than formula. *If* it is lacking in something (or has too much of something, as sometimes happens), it will be lacking or excessive in that same something for the entire time the baby consumes it. When someone makes the comparison to a diet of pure junk food, *this* and only this is, IMO, the justified parallel. *I did know a family who apparently fed their child nothing but junk food. The mother and father both were extremely obese, to the point that nobody knew the mother was pregnant (much to her disappointment when she proudly showed people her baby). By the time the child was three, it too (I say 'it' because I can't remember how whether boy or girl) was extremely obese, and could and did routinely eat a Big Mac, a large fry, and a milkshake at a single sitting. They ate at the McDonald's where I worked several times a week. And naturally, any suggestion to the parents that they were doing their child a disservice by feeding it that way, would have been met with outrage. Indeed, they were *proud* of how round their child was, and how much it could eat. Very sad. (And one of my children had breastmilk fortified with formula due to a medical condition, so I too am someone who has benefitted from the existence of modern formulas. And glad of it.) --angela |
#157
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
"Nan" wrote in message ... On Wed, 03 Mar 2004 03:39:21 GMT, "Chotii" wrote: "Nan" wrote in message .. . On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 11:10:34 -0500, Marie wrote: On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 11:26:33 -0500, Nan wrote: On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 10:56:28 -0500, Marie wrote: Because the majority of the time, it wasn't thought out... And you know this because....... Because I am told? Because when a mother tells me "I just didn't want to" or "I never even thought about it" it shows she didn't think about it? But that tells me they did, and chose not to. You don't need to understand, or like it, just accept it, and move on. Or don't. It's up to you, obviously. I think there's a vast difference between "Accepting others' choices" and "Approving others' choices." Those of us who accept, but do not approve, are labeled "judgmental". This is inaccurate. Not at all. Those that tell someone they're selfish, or that they shouldn't have children at all, if they're not going to do everything the way you would do it, are labelled as such. I don't necessarily agree with people not vaccinating. Or c*rc*ing. Or, even FF'ing. However, I'd never tell someone the above statements. I didn't say I would TELL someone. Merely that I would THINK it. However, such thoughts are also "judgmental".....no? I may THINK someone is selfish for her choices. I may or may not think that selfishness is justified. As I have noted elsewhere in this thread, I believe in a certain degree of selfishness. I also believe that sometimes, selfishness is indulged at the expense of the baby. Let me use an example: A woman I know weaned her firstborn to formula cold-turkey at 2 weeks, when he hit his first growth spurt and naturally wanted to nurse round the clock. It was exceedingly painful for her, physically, because of the engorgement she suffered. She had a lot of reasons why she did this, but mostly she cited 'need to sleep' and 'letting other people take care of the baby'. Certainly it was not due to lack of milk (she had plenty), latch problems, or reported nipple pain. I happen to know she was also under a lot of pressure from her side of the family to feed formula. I have no idea whether it helped with the sleep, but it certainly did make it possible for other people to care for the baby. The baby grew just fine on formula and is a bright, articulate and healthy child. When her second was born, she said she couldn't be bothered to breastfeed because of what happened with his sibling, and besides she had to go back to work in 8 weeks, and so she would just feed him Similac since the sibling did so well on it. But baby #2 didn't tolerate Similac, and wound up on Nutramigen. She bewailed the cost of Nutramigen. He also wound up hospitalised with an unexplained fever at about a week old, which was terrifying. As a side note, she also complained a great deal about the cost of disposable diapers and pull-ups. I knew she could have made other choices, which might very well have given her a very different (and less expensive) experience, but she made the choices she wanted to make, and she lived with them. The second child outgrew his intolerance to Similac (and of course eventually he potty trained) and grew into a bright, articulate, and healthy child. I did not say anything through any of these struggles on her part, except to make the appropriate sympathetic noises when she complained. Sometimes I was even actually sympathetic (like when the baby was in the hospital). I was and am glad that her children are healthy, bright and articulate. However, I *thought* a great many things about her choices and her reasons for making them - including, that a large chunk of her motivation appeared to be selfishness. So tell me.....was I judgemental? I didn't *agree*. But I did *accept*. Or is it true what a friend once told me: "It doesn't matter what people think about me, the only thing that matters is how they act toward me"? --angela |
#158
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 15:13:21 -0500, Marie
wrote: On 2 Mar 2004 12:39:14 -0800, (LeAnn) wrote: You are comparing formula to junk food??????? Um, you're the one who brought up the comparison and now you're shocked?! She is shocked because *I* am the one who brought up junk food. She has a right to be shocked. -- Daye Momma to Jayan and Leopold See Jayan and Leo: http://www.aloofhosting.com/jayleo/ Updated 28 Feb 2004 |
#159
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
On Tue, 2 Mar 2004 08:51:30 -0700, Michelle J. Haines
wrote: Or even the balls to say, "I chose to formula feed because I was given poor information and didn't want to listen to the right reasons." I have the balls to say: I chose to formula feed because I hated breastfeeding. I began to resent my daughter. For us, it was the best decision. She had breastmilk for 6 weeks, and I am glad of it. However, the long and the short of it was breastfeeding was beginning to affect the way I felt about my child. -- Daye Momma to Jayan and Leopold See Jayan and Leo: http://www.aloofhosting.com/jayleo/ Updated 28 Feb 2004 |
#160
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
On Tue, 2 Mar 2004 09:17:22 -0800, "Circe" wrote:
(though I confess, I have no *clue* how to mother a baby/toddler without breastfeeding--how *do* formula-feeding mothers handle sick babies, for example? Mine always just nursed off and on all day and night when they were sick, but I can't imagine a sick baby taking a bottle all day and night like that--not to mention I don't know how the mom sleeps at all if she's giving a bottle! Really, this is a serious and non-judmental question, because I just can't figure it out!). Sick babies are easy. Lots of cuddles, and if they want to drink from a bottle all day, you let them. Exactly what you are doing except the food is coming from a bottle. Sleeping... well, what we do is make up bottles of water and that and the can of formula by the bed. One of us wakes up enough to put the formula in the bottle, give it a shake, and then feed the baby. Yes, I have to sit up with DS, but it is at the very most for an hour or. I was up for 2 hours last night because he was restless, not because I was feeding him. -- Daye Momma to Jayan and Leopold See Jayan and Leo: http://www.aloofhosting.com/jayleo/ Updated 28 Feb 2004 |
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