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#171
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
If we could only get that "feed every 3 hours" mentality out of the
medical community I think more women would continue. In Isabella's first 24 hours I must have had her on the boob for about 20 hours. Also, I turned down 2 offers of formula supplementation (so I could get some rest) in a so-called "breast-feeding friendly" hospital! It's just what newborns do. The maternity nurses need to be educated about the frequency of newborn nursing. This is very true. Now, it was my fault for not attending classes, but every single woman in my family, (aunts cousins grandmothers mom etc.) with the exception of my MIL of course, has breastfed and I falsely assumed that it was easy and no big deal. When I started having problems, I was too embarrassed to ask my relatives for assistance. If we have another child, I will be prepared to offer 20 hours of boob!! No one at the hospital even mentioned that "hello - you need to feed your baby like every 10 minutes!" Like I said before, it will not happen to me again, and I do everything I can to warn my friends in advance what it can be like in the beginning. I combi-fed, thinking that something is better than nothing, but I wish I had been more persistent in seeking help. |
#172
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
Michelle J. Haines wrote:
I don't have a problem with people making choices. I have a BIG problem with people refusing to be honest about the consequences of their choices. I'm sick of hearing "I formula fed and my child is perfect, so it didn't matter!" when you don't know that yet. Someone needs to have the balls to say, "Yes, I know that I put my child at a higher risk of illness and obesity, but for blah-blah reason, I felt that in weighing the positives and negatives this was still the best choice." Or even the balls to say, "I chose to formula feed because I was given poor information and didn't want to listen to the right reasons." I'll own up to that one. It's why I weaned Katrina at seven months. Actually, I'm fine with, "I chose to formula feed because it was the best decision for us as a family at the time" or even just, "I chose to formula feed." I might not like it or agree with it, but that doesn't matter (you get to expect me to respect your right to make decisions, but you don't get to expect me to always *like* them). I don't think anyone is obligated to explain themselves to anyone, so a polite but firm limited response is fine. The only thing I object to is the spreading of misinformation. I have no grounds to contest your (the general "your") personal assessment of what the best decision is for your family in a particular situation. If you start promoting misinformation, you've just opened the door and shouldn't be surprised if someone walks through it. Personally, I think this is all part and parcel of today's confessionist society. For some odd reason, people are willing to air all sorts of private decisions to all and sundry (heck, people even go on tv to do it!). It's no wonder people get into each other's business when people put it right out there for all to see. If I bump into you in the store, or you work in the office next to mine, I don't *want* to know your private business. I don't need to know what kind of birth control you're on, whether your pregnancy was planned, your medical history, your marital woes, or any number of other things that people seem to think constitute polite chit chat with relative strangers. I don't think that sort of thing is inappropriate *here* in m.k.p because that's what this forum is *about* and somewhat different rules apply as a result, but I'm flabbergasted that people would discuss that sort of thing IRL with acquaintances-- and then get ruffled when said acquaintance has the unmitigated gall to respond to the information given! I think if one goes back and looks at this thread, the people who've basically left it at "I chose formula because it was best for my family at the time" haven't gotten much in the way of negative comments. It's the people who've put out reasons, and particularly suspect "factual" reasons, that have received most of the negative responses. I think the moral of the story is that if you don't want your decision opened for debate, don't open the door by putting your reasoning out there for everyone to comment on it ;-) Just leave it at it having been your choice, unless you *want* to discuss the reasons--at which point, you expect some to agree and others to disagree. Best wishes, Ericka |
#173
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
Chotii wrote:
Or is it true what a friend once told me: "It doesn't matter what people think about me, the only thing that matters is how they act toward me"? I think that depends on your interpretation. A few thoughts come to mind: 1) Assuming I'm okay with my own choices, it's certainly true that I don't really care what people think as long as they're polite to me, at least for acquaintances. I totally don't believe in this fool notion that insincerity is always a Bad Thing. When it comes to acquaintances or strangers, give me polite but insincere *any* day over someone who's sincerely rude. 2) At the same time, I *do* care about being a kind, polite, ethical person and I believe that if I make right choices, people will generally perceive me as such. Therefore, if someone thinks I am *not* something that I think I *am*, then either there's some failure of communication or maybe my choices aren't as right as I think they are. In that spirit, I'm generally willing to entertain other people's arguments as to why I should do something differently--reserving, of course, my right to do what I see fit after I've considered the new information. 3) For the people close to me, I do care what they think. If someone I really respect isn't okay with something I'm doing, I'll consider alternatives long and hard. I may or may not change my actions/opinions, but what's the point of having people you love and trust and respect if you're not going to at least seriously consider their advice? I also think the statement you make has very different implications for the two different people involved. If I'm the person considering doing something, then I think my highest obligation is to do what's right, regardless of what I might think privately. If I'm the person to whom something is done/said, my highest obligation is to try to take things in the spirit in which they were intended and not get bent out of shape over what others say or do unless I've got ample evidence that it really was said/done with malice (and to consider my role in the interaction and ask myself if I'm not just getting what I asked for!). If both sides do this, there's a lot less animosity. Best wishes, Ericka |
#174
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#175
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#176
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
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#177
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
Daye wrote:
On Tue, 2 Mar 2004 09:00:14 -0800, "Circe" wrote: I find these threads so tricky. I'm really *not* trying to put mothers who choose to formula-feed on a guilt trip. I find that I *have* to defend formula feeding moms, and it isn't just because I am one. I understand that. I actually feel I should defend formula-feeding moms, too, because I do think they often get unfairly and unnecessarily reamed. I have many friends and family members who chose to formula-feed for one reason or another and I wouldn't dream of questioning or criticizing their choices. That said, I also feel it's important to correct misinformation. It's a difficult balance to strike. However, I hope that I am being fair and not flaming people. You haven't flamed anyone, as far as I can tell, and have been totally fair. Keep up the good work g! -- Be well, Barbara (Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [2 yesterday] mom) All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful. Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman |
#178
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
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#179
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
Donna wrote:
Do you not see the difference between discussion and insult? Look at other posters, say, Circe, or Nan, or Daye, or Linz who, iirc, all feel very strongly about breastfeeding or bottle feeding, but who are getting their points across without slugging people over the head with their views. Wow, Donna, thanks for the compliment! I sometimes feel that I'm being harsher than I intend or want to be, so it is nice to know that you feel I'm getting my point across without being mean or judgmental. That's what I'd like to *think* I'm doing, but it can be very difficult! -- Be well, Barbara (Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [2 yesterday] mom) All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful. Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman |
#180
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
In article , nlb63
@yahoo.com says... I wonder if there is an actual condition for this? Aplastic breasts can cause inadequate milk production. I know someone in real life with the problem! Her doctor had never heard of it. She still pumped quite a bit for her daughter, though. Michelle Flutist -- Drift on a river, That flows through my arms Drift as I'm singing to you I see you smiling, So peaceful and calm And holding you, I'm smiling, too Here in my arms, Safe from all harm Holding you, I'm smiling, too -- For Xander [9/22/98 - 2/23/99] |
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