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#1
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teenager boyfriend questions
My stepdaughter (age 13) recently informed me in confidence that she
had a boyfriend. I agreed not to tell her parents - but I was sure to let them know they should have there eyes open regarding her 'whereabouts and companions'. Since then they discovered that she has a boyfriend and have banned her from seeing him (like that will work). Anyone have thoughts on 1) how to handle protecting her and her parents' interests without breaking confidence and destroying her trust, and 2) how to clue the parents that banning the boyfriend is likely to be an abysmal failure. Thanks for your input |
#2
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teenager boyfriend questions
"Ken" wrote in message om... My stepdaughter (age 13) recently informed me in confidence that she had a boyfriend. I agreed not to tell her parents - but I was sure to let them know they should have there eyes open regarding her 'whereabouts and companions'. Since then they discovered that she has a boyfriend and have banned her from seeing him (like that will work). Anyone have thoughts on 1) how to handle protecting her and her parents' interests without breaking confidence and destroying her trust, and 2) how to clue the parents that banning the boyfriend is likely to be an abysmal failure. As for the first one, other than being a friend to the stepdaughter, and someone she can talk to (good work on that, btw - that's very difficult to do), I don't know how else you can acheive #1, given that you promised her confidentiality. I would definitely not breach her confidentiality unless it's an emergency situation, and if it is, I'd advise telling her first that you have to breach her trust. Give her the option of telling her folks herself. But again, I'm thinking of that as a last resort, in an utter emergency - the boyfriend is beating her or something. As for 2) work through the girl's mother. You can't tell her mom and dad how to rear her, but you can quietly state to your partner/wife, that forbidding a teenaged romance is pretty much a recipe for disaster. If your spouse chooses to disregard your caution... well, there isn't much else you can do. You seem to be navigating this situation well, if you have the confidence of your teenaged stepdaughter, and a friendly relationship with your spouse and her ex-husband. Well done. Donna |
#3
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teenager boyfriend questions
She is already ****ing her boyfriend. Put her on birth control. Everything
else will take care of itself as long as she does not become pregnant. Should she become pregnant, please remember that abortion is still legal. |
#4
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teenager boyfriend questions
the firs thing I would like to know is...why do you feel she needs to be
protected ?? I was dating at 13... mind you how old is the guy she is dating and what are this persons thoughts on sex and how does she feel about this boy ??? AS for you question #1...you can't tell her parents... but you can tell her that she is free to tell you anything and your first concern is for her...and you don't want to get her in trouble but if she tells you something her parents need to know you are responsible to tell them if it concerns her health or well being. She needs to know you are a friend as well as her step mother and therefore anything you tell her parents is not to get you in trouble only to protect her. ....and with that said let her know that 98 % of what she says will never be told to her parents. As her step mother you are responsible for her well being as much as her parents are...... and her well being comes first. Let the parents know that if she is in any danger you will come to them and that your first priority is her protection and safety, let them know that you will not betray her confidence, and that if you hear of anything that they would be disapproaving of you will talk to them or encourage the daughter to talk to them about it, or you can talk to her about it first. You don't want to be caught in the middle but your step daughter needs to know that there are things her mother and father may have to know at some point in time. Let her know you care for her and love her and only want to help her and guide her to make the right decisions. "Ken" wrote in message om... My stepdaughter (age 13) recently informed me in confidence that she had a boyfriend. I agreed not to tell her parents - but I was sure to let them know they should have there eyes open regarding her 'whereabouts and companions'. Since then they discovered that she has a boyfriend and have banned her from seeing him (like that will work). Anyone have thoughts on 1) how to handle protecting her and her parents' interests without breaking confidence and destroying her trust, and 2) how to clue the parents that banning the boyfriend is likely to be an abysmal failure. Thanks for your input |
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