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  #131  
Old November 29th 06, 04:21 PM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 936
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Phil" wrote
..........................
You are becoming much like Marge;

==
Wow, that's a trip back in time! I'd forgotten all about Marge--
You are referring to the Marge who posted here years, years ago?



  #132  
Old November 29th 06, 04:35 PM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,421
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Gini" wrote in message
news:[email protected]

"Phil" wrote

"Gini" wrote

"teachrmama" wrote
............................

I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are
victims! Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not

liking
your cards should never make you sit down and pout!
==
That is the tragedy of some children of divorce. A parent's obsession
with the
minutia of "issues" tramples common sense and dignity. Fortunately, the
children come of age and
sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad

didn't
show for your party," becomes
child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you

were
to him."


I wonder if these mothers ever realize they are their own worst enemy

and
caused their later situation by their earlier actions.

==
I don't think they realize the implications of their actions at the time
because it's hard to imagine one's child as an independently thinking

adult.
My stepchildren were very controlled by their mother who
blamed my DH for all manner of things including never having enough money
for them, despite
the fact that we were paying 600. then 1200. a month CS. She blamed us
because she got evicted from her apt,
had her car re-poed and was asked not to come back to certain doctors
because she had so many unpaid bills.
She told the kids that DH was putting me and our kids ahead of them. They
were told that we were living large at their expense--
They had no idea how much support we were paying, or how financially
strapped we were because of it. Now they do, and not because
we ran to them and spilled the beans. The kids asked about these things
after they were grown and we simply told them
the facts.


Sooner or later the laundry gets done, huh.






  #133  
Old November 29th 06, 05:00 PM posted to alt.child-support
Phil
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 387
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Gini" wrote in message
news:[email protected]

"Phil" wrote

"Gini" wrote

"teachrmama" wrote
............................

I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are
victims! Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not
liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout!
==
That is the tragedy of some children of divorce. A parent's
obsession with the
minutia of "issues" tramples common sense and dignity. Fortunately,
the children come of age and
sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad
didn't show for your party," becomes
child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you
were to him."


I wonder if these mothers ever realize they are their own worst enemy
and caused their later situation by their earlier actions.

==
I don't think they realize the implications of their actions at the
time
because it's hard to imagine one's child as an independently thinking
adult.
My stepchildren were very controlled by their mother who
blamed my DH for all manner of things including never having enough
money for them, despite
the fact that we were paying 600. then 1200. a month CS. She blamed us
because she got evicted from her apt,
had her car re-poed and was asked not to come back to certain doctors
because she had so many unpaid bills.
She told the kids that DH was putting me and our kids ahead of them.
They were told that we were living large at their expense--
They had no idea how much support we were paying, or how financially
strapped we were because of it. Now they do, and not because
we ran to them and spilled the beans. The kids asked about these
things after they were grown and we simply told them
the facts.


I have a similar tale with my (now) 20 year old. When he was 18, he
asked his mom how much C$ she got. She told him with the exception of
the child care and insurance I was paying as well as forgetting to
advise him that even though she was making over twice (according to him)
what I was, the out-of-pocket expenses for medical, eyeglasses, dental,
etc. was that I got 79% of the cost to her 21%. (Long story but our
salaries both changed after divorce; hers went up 300%, mine went down
50%. I never asked for a reduction... 'cause I'm a nice guy and wanted
her to have all life had to offer) .
Long story short, he started counting and watching and today throws it
all back in her face often. Sadly, she still feels vindicated in taking
the C$ for personal use, maintaining that it was legal, therefore moral.
I fear for the country.
Phil #3


  #134  
Old November 29th 06, 05:03 PM posted to alt.child-support
Phil
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 387
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Gini" wrote in message
news:[email protected]

"Phil" wrote
.........................
You are becoming much like Marge;

==
Wow, that's a trip back in time! I'd forgotten all about Marge--
You are referring to the Marge who posted here years, years ago?


Yeah, I think so. She posts under different names as she gets killfiled
often(sound like someone else we know?) and is a habitué in alt.soc.men
as an agitator. She's posted here but I think only in x-posting.
Phil #3


  #135  
Old November 29th 06, 05:03 PM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,421
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...
Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but
not more than half. And that happens far more often than
you might imagine. As long as you are careful to take
responsibility for every step you take (or agree to
take), and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me
do it" excuse, you should not find yourself falling into
that trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's
bills, so you remain aware of how much it costs to do the
whole court thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things
fair.

Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things
fair?

You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts
rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the
driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things
fair? Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what
she deigns to throw back to him?

I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to
keep things fair.

Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH*
of them to keep things fair?"

And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide
to be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court.
Which you know perfectly well.

Here, Teach - let's try this.

2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health
insurance. Who should be paying for the health insurance? The
person providing it, the person who earns more money, or
should they both try to be fair and split the cost?

2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every
weekend. Should the child support reflect this?

2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child.
Who should get the tax exemptions?

Let's see what your idea of fair is.


Ok, Moon, let's discuss fair.

snipping diatribe

Teach, I believe your starting premise is as screwed up as your
view of CP's.

Trying to keep things fair is NOT the responsibility of one, and
only one, person.

As long as you insist that it is, you've tossed any sense of
fairness right out the window.

When there are 2 people, it takes 2 to screw it up, and it takes
2 to try to make things fair.

You mean you are partly responsible for being abandoned by your
ex?

I wasn't abandoned. Never made that claim, not once. Let's
see.......... oh yeah, I was there - I was the one who filed for
divorce.


You kicked him out?

No, I filed for divorce.


You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being
the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that
resulted in divorce?

I couldn't be married to him anymore. I filed for divorce.

Phil #3


Perhaps, but I disagree with your overall statement.
No matter how wonderful things are, it only takes one to screw it
up and in today's world, it only takes one to make the result
unfair.
Phil #3

Complete and total sidestep.
Typical.
Don't you just hate it when your own words bite you in the ass?


What sidestep? You asked if I kicked him out, and I did not.

You asked about the reasons for my divorce (which is none of your
business), and I answered - I couldn't be married to him anymore.


Phil #3

Remember this:"You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than
just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that
resulted in divorce?" ? You failed to answer that even when the answer
would not require you to divulge any 'secrets' about your divorce.
You made a claim that "it takes 2 to screw it up"; I, and others, called
you on it. Either you had some fault in your marriage failing or you are
wrong that "it takes 2 to screw it up". Personally, I think everything
you say carries a high probability of being incorrect.


Gee, WHATEVER would cause you to think that?

You now claim that the reasons for your divorce are none of my business
after a decade of posting them?
You are becoming much like Marge; a bitter, old, lonely hag who spends
half her time complaining about getting what she demanded from life, the
other half blaming men for her self induced problems.


Common behavior from those whose own mother never said "no".

Phil #3




  #136  
Old November 29th 06, 06:40 PM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 936
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Phil" wrote

"Gini" wrote

"Phil" wrote
.........................
You are becoming much like Marge;

==
Wow, that's a trip back in time! I'd forgotten all about Marge--
You are referring to the Marge who posted here years, years ago?


Yeah, I think so. She posts under different names as she gets killfiled
often(sound like someone else we know?) and is a habitué in alt.soc.men as
an agitator. She's posted here but I think only in x-posting.

==
Ah, you sounded like she was around but I didn't recall seeing her in years.


  #137  
Old November 30th 06, 01:17 AM posted to alt.child-support
Moon Shyne
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 427
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...
Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but not
more than half. And that happens far more often than you
might imagine. As long as you are careful to take
responsibility for every step you take (or agree to take),
and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me do it"
excuse, you should not find yourself falling into that trap.
Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's bills, so you
remain aware of how much it costs to do the whole court
thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things fair.

Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair?

You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts
rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the
driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things fair?
Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what she deigns
to throw back to him?

I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to keep
things fair.

Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of
them to keep things fair?"

And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide to
be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court. Which you
know perfectly well.

Here, Teach - let's try this.

2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health insurance.
Who should be paying for the health insurance? The person
providing it, the person who earns more money, or should they
both try to be fair and split the cost?

2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every
weekend. Should the child support reflect this?

2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child. Who
should get the tax exemptions?

Let's see what your idea of fair is.


Ok, Moon, let's discuss fair.

snipping diatribe

Teach, I believe your starting premise is as screwed up as your
view of CP's.

Trying to keep things fair is NOT the responsibility of one, and
only one, person.

As long as you insist that it is, you've tossed any sense of
fairness right out the window.

When there are 2 people, it takes 2 to screw it up, and it takes 2
to try to make things fair.

You mean you are partly responsible for being abandoned by your ex?

I wasn't abandoned. Never made that claim, not once. Let's
see.......... oh yeah, I was there - I was the one who filed for
divorce.


You kicked him out?

No, I filed for divorce.


You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being
the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted
in divorce?

I couldn't be married to him anymore. I filed for divorce.

Phil #3


Perhaps, but I disagree with your overall statement.
No matter how wonderful things are, it only takes one to screw it up
and in today's world, it only takes one to make the result unfair.
Phil #3

Complete and total sidestep.
Typical.
Don't you just hate it when your own words bite you in the ass?


What sidestep? You asked if I kicked him out, and I did not.

You asked about the reasons for my divorce (which is none of your
business), and I answered - I couldn't be married to him anymore.


Phil #3

Remember this:"You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than
just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that
resulted in divorce?" ? You failed to answer that even when the answer
would not require you to divulge any 'secrets' about your divorce.


Well, then we'll simply have to disagree - you offered a choice of (A) You
admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to
file or (B) or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in
divorce?

It was neither. I simply couldn't be married to him anymore.


You made a claim that "it takes 2 to screw it up"; I, and others, called
you on it. Either you had some fault in your marriage failing or you are
wrong that "it takes 2 to screw it up". Personally, I think everything you
say carries a high probability of being incorrect.


Ok, fine. It takes one to screw up. And since you know *neither* of us,
any claims that you make that I was the one are pretty worthless.


You now claim that the reasons for your divorce are none of my business
after a decade of posting them?


A decade? I haven't been in this newsgroup for a decade.... actually, I
haven't been divorced for a decade, either.


You are becoming much like Marge; a bitter, old, lonely hag who spends
half her time complaining about getting what she demanded from life, the
other half blaming men for her self induced problems.


Oh? How odd - I see how I spend my time - and my time on here is a very
small portion of my waking hours.... all the rest are spent at my job, and
with my children, and doing a whole lot of other activities.


Phil #3




  #138  
Old November 30th 06, 02:03 PM posted to alt.child-support
Phil
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 387
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...
Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but
not more than half. And that happens far more often
than you might imagine. As long as you are careful to
take responsibility for every step you take (or agree
to take), and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made
me do it" excuse, you should not find yourself falling
into that trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your
lawyer's bills, so you remain aware of how much it
costs to do the whole court thing. The burden is on
*you* to keep things fair.

Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things
fair?

You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts
rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the
driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things
fair? Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what
she deigns to throw back to him?

I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to
keep things fair.

Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH*
of them to keep things fair?"

And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide
to be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court.
Which you know perfectly well.

Here, Teach - let's try this.

2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health
insurance. Who should be paying for the health insurance?
The person providing it, the person who earns more money, or
should they both try to be fair and split the cost?

2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every
weekend. Should the child support reflect this?

2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each
child. Who should get the tax exemptions?

Let's see what your idea of fair is.


Ok, Moon, let's discuss fair.

snipping diatribe

Teach, I believe your starting premise is as screwed up as
your view of CP's.

Trying to keep things fair is NOT the responsibility of one,
and only one, person.

As long as you insist that it is, you've tossed any sense of
fairness right out the window.

When there are 2 people, it takes 2 to screw it up, and it
takes 2 to try to make things fair.

You mean you are partly responsible for being abandoned by your
ex?

I wasn't abandoned. Never made that claim, not once. Let's
see.......... oh yeah, I was there - I was the one who filed for
divorce.


You kicked him out?

No, I filed for divorce.


You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just
being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions
that resulted in divorce?

I couldn't be married to him anymore. I filed for divorce.

Phil #3


Perhaps, but I disagree with your overall statement.
No matter how wonderful things are, it only takes one to screw
it up and in today's world, it only takes one to make the
result unfair.
Phil #3

Complete and total sidestep.
Typical.
Don't you just hate it when your own words bite you in the ass?

What sidestep? You asked if I kicked him out, and I did not.

You asked about the reasons for my divorce (which is none of your
business), and I answered - I couldn't be married to him anymore.


Phil #3

Remember this:"You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other*
than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or
inactions that resulted in divorce?" ? You failed to answer that even
when the answer would not require you to divulge any 'secrets' about
your divorce.


Well, then we'll simply have to disagree - you offered a choice of (A)
You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being
the one to file or (B) or was it just his actions or inactions that
resulted in divorce?

It was neither. I simply couldn't be married to him anymore.


Since you either were or were not at least partially at fault, it has to
be one or the other; either you had some fault or not. It can't be both,
it can't be neither, your avoidance notwithstanding.



You made a claim that "it takes 2 to screw it up"; I, and others,
called you on it. Either you had some fault in your marriage failing
or you are wrong that "it takes 2 to screw it up". Personally, I
think everything you say carries a high probability of being
incorrect.


Ok, fine. It takes one to screw up. And since you know *neither* of
us, any claims that you make that I was the one are pretty worthless.


I made no claims, I asked a question that you failed to answer until now
when you finally appear to be claiming without saying so, that the
divorce is all his fault. This is possible, since as you say, I know
neither of you but the entire point is that your original statement was
wrong (as usual).


You now claim that the reasons for your divorce are none of my
business after a decade of posting them?


A decade? I haven't been in this newsgroup for a decade.... actually,
I haven't been divorced for a decade, either.


Perhaps it just seems I have been reading it that long.



You are becoming much like Marge; a bitter, old, lonely hag who
spends half her time complaining about getting what she demanded from
life, the other half blaming men for her self induced problems.


Oh? How odd - I see how I spend my time - and my time on here is a
very small portion of my waking hours.... all the rest are spent at my
job, and with my children, and doing a whole lot of other activities.


Yeah, a legend in your own mind. :P
--
"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they
will believe it” ~ Adolph Hitler
Phil #3



Phil #3






  #139  
Old December 1st 06, 01:20 AM posted to alt.child-support
Moon Shyne
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 427
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...
Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but not
more than half. And that happens far more often than you
might imagine. As long as you are careful to take
responsibility for every step you take (or agree to take),
and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me do it"
excuse, you should not find yourself falling into that
trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's bills,
so you remain aware of how much it costs to do the whole
court thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things fair.

Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair?

You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts
rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the
driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things fair?
Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what she
deigns to throw back to him?

I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to keep
things fair.

Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of
them to keep things fair?"

And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide to
be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court. Which you
know perfectly well.

Here, Teach - let's try this.

2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health insurance.
Who should be paying for the health insurance? The person
providing it, the person who earns more money, or should they
both try to be fair and split the cost?

2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every
weekend. Should the child support reflect this?

2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child.
Who should get the tax exemptions?

Let's see what your idea of fair is.


Ok, Moon, let's discuss fair.

snipping diatribe

Teach, I believe your starting premise is as screwed up as your
view of CP's.

Trying to keep things fair is NOT the responsibility of one, and
only one, person.

As long as you insist that it is, you've tossed any sense of
fairness right out the window.

When there are 2 people, it takes 2 to screw it up, and it takes
2 to try to make things fair.

You mean you are partly responsible for being abandoned by your
ex?

I wasn't abandoned. Never made that claim, not once. Let's
see.......... oh yeah, I was there - I was the one who filed for
divorce.


You kicked him out?

No, I filed for divorce.


You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being
the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that
resulted in divorce?

I couldn't be married to him anymore. I filed for divorce.

Phil #3


Perhaps, but I disagree with your overall statement.
No matter how wonderful things are, it only takes one to screw it
up and in today's world, it only takes one to make the result
unfair.
Phil #3

Complete and total sidestep.
Typical.
Don't you just hate it when your own words bite you in the ass?

What sidestep? You asked if I kicked him out, and I did not.

You asked about the reasons for my divorce (which is none of your
business), and I answered - I couldn't be married to him anymore.


Phil #3
Remember this:"You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than
just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that
resulted in divorce?" ? You failed to answer that even when the answer
would not require you to divulge any 'secrets' about your divorce.


Well, then we'll simply have to disagree - you offered a choice of (A)
You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the
one to file or (B) or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted
in divorce?

It was neither. I simply couldn't be married to him anymore.


Since you either were or were not at least partially at fault, it has to
be one or the other; either you had some fault or not. It can't be both,
it can't be neither, your avoidance notwithstanding.



You made a claim that "it takes 2 to screw it up"; I, and others, called
you on it. Either you had some fault in your marriage failing or you are
wrong that "it takes 2 to screw it up". Personally, I think everything
you say carries a high probability of being incorrect.


Ok, fine. It takes one to screw up. And since you know *neither* of us,
any claims that you make that I was the one are pretty worthless.


I made no claims, I asked a question that you failed to answer until now
when you finally appear to be claiming without saying so, that the divorce
is all his fault. This is possible, since as you say, I know neither of
you but the entire point is that your original statement was wrong (as
usual).


You now claim that the reasons for your divorce are none of my business
after a decade of posting them?


A decade? I haven't been in this newsgroup for a decade.... actually, I
haven't been divorced for a decade, either.


Perhaps it just seems I have been reading it that long.



You are becoming much like Marge; a bitter, old, lonely hag who spends
half her time complaining about getting what she demanded from life, the
other half blaming men for her self induced problems.


Oh? How odd - I see how I spend my time - and my time on here is a very
small portion of my waking hours.... all the rest are spent at my job,
and with my children, and doing a whole lot of other activities.


Yeah, a legend in your own mind. :P


No - just a parent, raising a couple of kids. Nothing more, nothing less.

--
"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they
will believe it" ~ Adolph Hitler
Phil #3



Phil #3








 




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