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How to stop him?



 
 
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  #11  
Old December 6th 06, 11:55 PM posted to alt.child-support
Dale
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 95
Default How to stop him?


"Phil" wrote in

Seems like women think that the pussy is just a ticket for a free ride.


For many, it is and just as many men haven't figured it out yet.


Yes, we live in ignorance until it's too late and we're forced to pay
between $600 to $1400 per month.

Even for the those Fathers that plan and want children in a marriage, they
have no choices when the relationship breaks down. Is it right that a man
is totally controlled by the governemnet becuase he has fallen into the
catatgory of Divorce Status?


  #12  
Old December 7th 06, 03:56 AM posted to alt.child-support
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 11
Default How to stop him?


"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Janet" wrote in message
...
My exboyfriend and I had a little girl in 1999. He took no interest in
her until I filed for child support a year ago. Now that I filed for
support he wants to see her all the time. She is very uncomfortable
around him and I have my doubts about him as well. I just got a notice
of a hearing for him wanting to establish forced parenting time! She
hardly knows this man. She doesn't even like seeing him at my house.
Can he just come in and take her out of here that way? She is seeing a
therapist for emotional issues and I'm afraid that this will set her
back if she is forced to go visiting him. I told him he could see her
over here but he says that isn't good enough. Is there any way I can
stop him? Will the court make her see him? I can't bear the thought of
her being dragged out of the house kicking and screaming. It will
break my heart. Would they really allow that to happen?


It's going to be up to you to make this easy for her. The judge almost
certaily will assign him time with his chld. So you need to start talking
about all the wonderful things little girls can do with their fathers. Talk
to him, and arrange for the 3 of you to start doing some things together--go
out for a hamburger, go see a movie, etc. Laugh with him, talk with him.
Let HER see what a nice man he is. (You obviously did more thatn laugh and
talk at one point in time, or she wouldn't be here) Let her see the man you
cared enough about to create her. YOU have the power to help this happen
without trauma. Be a loving mother to your daughter and help her get to
know and love her daddy.


Great post TM! I couldn't have said it any better.

Tiff


  #13  
Old December 7th 06, 04:35 AM posted to alt.child-support
Janet
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 5
Default How to stop him?

Why would I want to encourage this? As I said before she is having to
see a therapist because she is having emotional problems related to
change. Any change in her routine sets off a crying fit. It will not
help her to be forced to go with someone that she doesn't want to
see.I thought they used the best interest of the child to determine
these things?

Her father was just someone that I had a brief fling with. We didn't
really care that much about each other and we both understood that. If
he is such a caring father then where was for the first 6 years of her
life? He could have found me if he wanted. Now just because I asked
for some help with the kid that he is halfway responsible for all of a
sudden he wants to act like hes a real dad to her. She doesn't even
like him. She got along fine without him all this time and now he
shows up disrupting her life. Is that fair to her? Do the courts
really think it will be in her best interest to have her being dragged
out of the house by someone she doesn't like and just barely knows?
That seems like child abuse!

On Wed, 6 Dec 2006 06:12:16 -0800, "teachrmama"
wrote:


"Janet" wrote in message
.. .
My exboyfriend and I had a little girl in 1999. He took no interest in
her until I filed for child support a year ago. Now that I filed for
support he wants to see her all the time. She is very uncomfortable
around him and I have my doubts about him as well. I just got a notice
of a hearing for him wanting to establish forced parenting time! She
hardly knows this man. She doesn't even like seeing him at my house.
Can he just come in and take her out of here that way? She is seeing a
therapist for emotional issues and I'm afraid that this will set her
back if she is forced to go visiting him. I told him he could see her
over here but he says that isn't good enough. Is there any way I can
stop him? Will the court make her see him? I can't bear the thought of
her being dragged out of the house kicking and screaming. It will
break my heart. Would they really allow that to happen?


It's going to be up to you to make this easy for her. The judge almost
certaily will assign him time with his chld. So you need to start talking
about all the wonderful things little girls can do with their fathers. Talk
to him, and arrange for the 3 of you to start doing some things together--go
out for a hamburger, go see a movie, etc. Laugh with him, talk with him.
Let HER see what a nice man he is. (You obviously did more thatn laugh and
talk at one point in time, or she wouldn't be here) Let her see the man you
cared enough about to create her. YOU have the power to help this happen
without trauma. Be a loving mother to your daughter and help her get to
know and love her daddy.


  #14  
Old December 7th 06, 05:20 AM posted to alt.child-support
Bob Whiteside
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 981
Default How to stop him?


"Janet" wrote in message
...
Why would I want to encourage this? As I said before she is having to
see a therapist because she is having emotional problems related to
change. Any change in her routine sets off a crying fit. It will not
help her to be forced to go with someone that she doesn't want to
see.I thought they used the best interest of the child to determine
these things?

Her father was just someone that I had a brief fling with. We didn't
really care that much about each other and we both understood that. If
he is such a caring father then where was for the first 6 years of her
life? He could have found me if he wanted. Now just because I asked
for some help with the kid that he is halfway responsible for all of a
sudden he wants to act like hes a real dad to her. She doesn't even
like him. She got along fine without him all this time and now he
shows up disrupting her life. Is that fair to her? Do the courts
really think it will be in her best interest to have her being dragged
out of the house by someone she doesn't like and just barely knows?
That seems like child abuse!


So how does your daughter like any of her newest "new daddies" you brought
into her life? Come on - There are people here who understand women screw
men and get pregnant, have babies, and then move on to other relationships
trying to undo the last relationship. The real daddy never goes away. And
the new daddy never replaces the real daddy despite all the mother's
attempts at manipulation of the child's thinking.


  #15  
Old December 7th 06, 06:26 AM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,421
Default How to stop him?


"Phil" wrote in message
ink.net...

"Mr. Anonymous" wrote in message
t.com...
It's kind of funny, isn't it? The girlfriends are all full of advice
about "divorce him", "sue him", and all sorts of stuff, yet nobody
figures that there might be a backlash. Only loads of free money...

Seems like women think that the pussy is just a ticket for a free
ride.


For many, it is and just as many men haven't figured it out yet.
Phil #3


Let me see: give sex, get money. Isn't there a name for that?




"Dale" wrote in message
. net...

"Janet" wrote in

She
hardly knows this man. She doesn't even like seeing him at my house.
She is seeing a therapist for emotional issues and I'm afraid that
this will set her
back if she is forced to go visiting him.

I don't get it, you say she doesn't hardly knows the man, but has
been in therapy previously and spending time with him will set her
back? Since when does a parent's love do damage to a child?

Perhaps the reason your boyfriend was absent all these years is
because you shut him out from your daughter's life? Let me guess,
you filed for C$ money just in time before her 6th birthday, so the
state can legally collect arrearages from the time of birth? Did
you really think you were going to collect a $30,000 check with no
strings attached or did all your girlfriends not tell you about that
part?

If you are really serious about stopping him and you were being
truthful, then drop the CS case.
If he's really not interested, he will go away!!!!!!!!!!






--
The Source For Premium Newsgroup Access
Great Speed, Great Retention
1 GB/Day for only $8.95





  #16  
Old December 7th 06, 06:28 AM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,421
Default How to stop him?


"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Janet" wrote in message
...
My exboyfriend and I had a little girl in 1999. He took no interest in
her until I filed for child support a year ago. Now that I filed for
support he wants to see her all the time. She is very uncomfortable
around him and I have my doubts about him as well. I just got a notice
of a hearing for him wanting to establish forced parenting time! She
hardly knows this man. She doesn't even like seeing him at my house.
Can he just come in and take her out of here that way? She is seeing a
therapist for emotional issues and I'm afraid that this will set her
back if she is forced to go visiting him. I told him he could see her
over here but he says that isn't good enough. Is there any way I can
stop him? Will the court make her see him? I can't bear the thought of
her being dragged out of the house kicking and screaming. It will
break my heart. Would they really allow that to happen?

Thanks for your help.


He's her father. He has as much right to see the child on HIS own turf as
you do.


Since when have you become pro-father?




Jan





  #17  
Old December 7th 06, 06:29 AM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,421
Default How to stop him?


"Janet" wrote in message
...
Why would I want to encourage this? As I said before she is having to
see a therapist because she is having emotional problems related to
change. Any change in her routine sets off a crying fit. It will not
help her to be forced to go with someone that she doesn't want to
see.I thought they used the best interest of the child to determine
these things?

Her father was just someone that I had a brief fling with. We didn't
really care that much about each other and we both understood that. If
he is such a caring father then where was for the first 6 years of her
life?


Exactly where you wanted him to be, OUT of her life.

He could have found me if he wanted. Now just because I asked
for some help with the kid that he is halfway responsible for all of a
sudden he wants to act like hes a real dad to her. She doesn't even
like him. She got along fine without him all this time and now he
shows up disrupting her life. Is that fair to her? Do the courts
really think it will be in her best interest to have her being dragged
out of the house by someone she doesn't like and just barely knows?
That seems like child abuse!


Well of course. EVERYONE knows that all fathers are a danger to their
children and that forcing ANY child to be with their father is child abuse.
You go girl!


On Wed, 6 Dec 2006 06:12:16 -0800, "teachrmama"
wrote:


"Janet" wrote in message
.. .
My exboyfriend and I had a little girl in 1999. He took no interest in
her until I filed for child support a year ago. Now that I filed for
support he wants to see her all the time. She is very uncomfortable
around him and I have my doubts about him as well. I just got a notice
of a hearing for him wanting to establish forced parenting time! She
hardly knows this man. She doesn't even like seeing him at my house.
Can he just come in and take her out of here that way? She is seeing a
therapist for emotional issues and I'm afraid that this will set her
back if she is forced to go visiting him. I told him he could see her
over here but he says that isn't good enough. Is there any way I can
stop him? Will the court make her see him? I can't bear the thought of
her being dragged out of the house kicking and screaming. It will
break my heart. Would they really allow that to happen?


It's going to be up to you to make this easy for her. The judge almost
certaily will assign him time with his chld. So you need to start

talking
about all the wonderful things little girls can do with their fathers.

Talk
to him, and arrange for the 3 of you to start doing some things

together--go
out for a hamburger, go see a movie, etc. Laugh with him, talk with him.
Let HER see what a nice man he is. (You obviously did more thatn laugh

and
talk at one point in time, or she wouldn't be here) Let her see the man

you
cared enough about to create her. YOU have the power to help this happen
without trauma. Be a loving mother to your daughter and help her get to
know and love her daddy.




  #18  
Old December 7th 06, 06:32 AM posted to alt.child-support
teachrmama
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,905
Default How to stop him?


"Janet" wrote in message
...
Why would I want to encourage this? As I said before she is having to
see a therapist because she is having emotional problems related to
change. Any change in her routine sets off a crying fit. It will not
help her to be forced to go with someone that she doesn't want to
see.I thought they used the best interest of the child to determine
these things?

Her father was just someone that I had a brief fling with. We didn't
really care that much about each other and we both understood that. If
he is such a caring father then where was for the first 6 years of her
life? He could have found me if he wanted. Now just because I asked
for some help with the kid that he is halfway responsible for all of a
sudden he wants to act like hes a real dad to her. She doesn't even
like him. She got along fine without him all this time and now he
shows up disrupting her life. Is that fair to her? Do the courts
really think it will be in her best interest to have her being dragged
out of the house by someone she doesn't like and just barely knows?
That seems like child abuse!


You have got some major growing up to do. He is her FATHER. You want him
to be a father in $$$$ only. But your daughter DESERVES her father in her
life. And if her only parent to date is acting as childish as you are (and
you are whether you like it or not), no wonder she is haveing such a hard
time. Apparently she was having a hard time with change before you ever
invited him otp the picture. Just what caused that?

Did the father know about the child? Did you invite him to be a part of her
life from the very beginning? Did you let him know where you were moving
when you moved? If it was such a casual, no-strings-attached fling, why are
you asking for $$$ now? Why doe he owe you that, but not deserve a
relationship with the child? Why do you feel it is in the child's best
interest to be raised not knowing her father? You do realize that there is
a chance that the courts will take the child from you and give her to her
father if they feel that your attitude and actions are harming her. And,
from what you have posted here, your attitude does not seem to reflect any
knowledge of the fact that your child deserves a relationship with ehr
father. The courts frown on that.


  #19  
Old December 7th 06, 11:02 AM posted to alt.child-support
Moon Shyne
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 427
Default How to stop him?


"Chris" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Janet" wrote in message
...
My exboyfriend and I had a little girl in 1999. He took no interest in
her until I filed for child support a year ago. Now that I filed for
support he wants to see her all the time. She is very uncomfortable
around him and I have my doubts about him as well. I just got a notice
of a hearing for him wanting to establish forced parenting time! She
hardly knows this man. She doesn't even like seeing him at my house.
Can he just come in and take her out of here that way? She is seeing a
therapist for emotional issues and I'm afraid that this will set her
back if she is forced to go visiting him. I told him he could see her
over here but he says that isn't good enough. Is there any way I can
stop him? Will the court make her see him? I can't bear the thought of
her being dragged out of the house kicking and screaming. It will
break my heart. Would they really allow that to happen?

Thanks for your help.


He's her father. He has as much right to see the child on HIS own turf
as
you do.


Since when have you become pro-father?


I was never against fathers. I'm against whiners who blame everyone else
for their problems, i'm against anyone who doesn't show a strong sense of
personal responsibility, I"m against liars and cheats.

And yes, I'm also against the various folks who continue to slam me for
things that I don't do (and never did), who prove over and over that they
bought into some former poster's bull****, and really have no clue what I'm
about at all.





Jan







  #20  
Old December 7th 06, 01:21 PM posted to alt.child-support
Phil
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 387
Default How to stop him?


"Janet" wrote in message
...
Why would I want to encourage this? As I said before she is having to
see a therapist because she is having emotional problems related to
change. Any change in her routine sets off a crying fit. It will not
help her to be forced to go with someone that she doesn't want to
see.


I would not be surprised to find that the child is only reacting to the
parent's attitude.

I thought they used the best interest of the child to determine
these things?


No matter what excuse is used, it is never about the best interests of
the children but almost always about money, power or both.


Her father was just someone that I had a brief fling with. We didn't
really care that much about each other and we both understood that. If
he is such a caring father then where was for the first 6 years of her
life? He could have found me if he wanted.


Did he even know he was a father? Besides, you seemed perplexed that he
suddenly wants a relationship with the child but fail to notice that
you, just as suddenly, want money.

Now just because I asked
for some help with the kid that he is halfway responsible for all of a
sudden he wants to act like hes a real dad to her.


IOW, you just want the money. What happened to the best interests of the
child?

She doesn't even
like him.


Which may be because of YOU and your attitude.

She got along fine without him all this time and now he
shows up disrupting her life. Is that fair to her?


Not only fair, but also in her best interest.

Do the courts
really think it will be in her best interest to have her being dragged
out of the house by someone she doesn't like and just barely knows?


And in a few weeks, she'll know him. Eventually, she'll come to love him
in spite of your attempts to prevent her having a father.

That seems like child abuse!


Preventing a child from a loving relationship with their parents
(plural) is abuse.
I can't wait to hear the parts we haven't been told.
Phil #3



On Wed, 6 Dec 2006 06:12:16 -0800, "teachrmama"
wrote:


"Janet" wrote in message
. ..
My exboyfriend and I had a little girl in 1999. He took no interest
in
her until I filed for child support a year ago. Now that I filed for
support he wants to see her all the time. She is very uncomfortable
around him and I have my doubts about him as well. I just got a
notice
of a hearing for him wanting to establish forced parenting time! She
hardly knows this man. She doesn't even like seeing him at my house.
Can he just come in and take her out of here that way? She is seeing
a
therapist for emotional issues and I'm afraid that this will set her
back if she is forced to go visiting him. I told him he could see
her
over here but he says that isn't good enough. Is there any way I can
stop him? Will the court make her see him? I can't bear the thought
of
her being dragged out of the house kicking and screaming. It will
break my heart. Would they really allow that to happen?


It's going to be up to you to make this easy for her. The judge
almost
certaily will assign him time with his chld. So you need to start
talking
about all the wonderful things little girls can do with their fathers.
Talk
to him, and arrange for the 3 of you to start doing some things
together--go
out for a hamburger, go see a movie, etc. Laugh with him, talk with
him.
Let HER see what a nice man he is. (You obviously did more thatn
laugh and
talk at one point in time, or she wouldn't be here) Let her see the
man you
cared enough about to create her. YOU have the power to help this
happen
without trauma. Be a loving mother to your daughter and help her get
to
know and love her daddy.




 




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