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Old November 23rd 06, 03:31 PM posted to alt.child-support
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JOURNAL OF FAMILY VIOLENCE, VOLUME 10, NUMBER 3, p 253-264, 1995

DIVORCE RELATED MALICIOUS MOTHER SYNDROME
Ira Daniel Turkat, Ph.D.

With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, a
pattern of abnormal behaviour has emerged that has received little
attention. The present paper defines the Divorce Related Malicious
Mother Syndrome. Specific nosologic criteria are provided with abundant
clinical examples. Given the lack of scientific data available on the
disorder, issues of classification, etiology, treatment, and prevention
appear ripe for investigation.

INTRODUCTION

A divorced man gains custody of his children and his ex-wife burns down
his home. A woman in a custody battle buys a cat for her offspring
because her divorcing husband is highly allergic to cats. A mother
forces her children to sleep in a car to "prove" their father has
bankrupted them. These actions illustrate a pattern of abnormal
behavior that has emerged as the divorce rate involving children has
grown.

Today, half of all marriages will end in divorce (Beal and Hochman,
1991). The number of children involved in divorce has grown
dramatically (e.g., Hetherington and Arastah, 1988) as well. While the
majority of such cases are "settled" from a legal perspective, outside
the courtroom the battle continues.

The media has spent considerable effort raising public awareness about
the problem posed by divorced fathers who do not provide court ordered
child support payments. Hedges (1991) has noted that less than 20% of
divorced fathers provide child support payments three years after their
divorce. Research on the decline of women's economic status following
divorce (e.g., Hernandez, 1988; Laosa, 1988) has contributed to recent
legislation to address the "Deadbeat Dad" problem.

While the media correctly portrays the difficulties imposed upon women
and children by the "Deadbeat Dad" phenomenon, the cameras have yet to
capture the warfare waged by a select group of mothers against child
support paying, law abiding fathers. Every day, attorneys and
therapists are exposed to horror stories in which vicious behaviors are
lodged against innocent fathers and children. Unfortunately, there are
no scientific data on the subject. Similarly, the clinical literature
has relatively ignored the problem.

A notable exception can be found in the clinical writings of Gardner
(1987, 1989) who has provided excellent descriptions of the Parental
Alienation Syndrome. Here, a custodial parent successfully engages in a
variety of maneuvers to alienate the child from the non-residential
parent. Once successfully manipulated, the child becomes
"...preoccupied with deprecation and criticism of a parent-denigration
that is unjustified and/or exaggerated" (Gardner, 1989 p. 226). In the
typical case of Parental Alienation Syndrome, both mother and child
engage in an array of abnormal actions against the rather. Gardner
views "brainwashing" as a concept "too narrow" (Gardner, 1989) to
capture the psychological manipulation involved in turning a child
against his/her non-residential parent.

While Gardner's pioneering descriptions of the Parental Alienation
Syndrome provide an important contribution to our understanding of
divorce related child involved hostilities, the present paper is
concerned with a more global abnormality. As noted in the examples
provided in the beginning of this manuscript, serious attacks on
divorcing husbands take place which are beyond merely manipulating the
children. Further, these actions include a willingness by some mothers
to violate societal law. Finally, there are mothers who persistently
engage in malicious behaviors designed to alienate their offspring from
the father, despite being unable to successfully cause alienation. In
sum, these cases do not meet the criteria for Parental Alienation
Syndrome. Nevertheless, they portray a serious abnormality.

The purpose of the present paper is to define and illustrate this more
global abnormality with the hope of generating increased scientific and
clinical investigation of this problem.

DEFINITION

The present section provides a beginning definition of the Divorce
Related Malicious Mother Syndrome, which has been derived from clinical
and legal cases. As in all initial proposals, it is anticipated that
future research will lead to greater refinement in the taxonomic
criteria. The proposed definition encompasses four major criteria, as
follows:

A mother who unjustifiably punishes her divorcing or divorced husband
by:

Attempting to alienate their mutual child(ren) from the father
Involving others in malicious actions against the father
Engaging in excessive litigation

The mother specifically attempts to deny her child(ren):

Regular uninterrupted visitation with the father
Uninhibited telephone access to the father
paternal participation in the child(ren)'s school life and
extra-curricular activities

Tile pattern is pervasive and includes malicious acts towards the
husband including:

Lying to the children
Lying to others
Violations of law

The disorder is not specifically due to another mental disorder
although a separate mental disorder may co-exist.


CLINICAL ILLUSTRATIONS

In this section, I will provide clinical illustrations for each
criterion using the reference numbers provided above. As criteria 1-3
are behavior specific to the Malicious Mother Syndrome, I will provide
a series of clinical examples. The fourth criterion which addresses the
relationship of the proposed syndrome to other mental disorders, will
be discussed more generally.

Criterion 1A: Alienating the Children

The range of actions taken by a mother to attempt to alienate her
children from their father is impressive. For example:

One mother lied to her children that she could no longer buy food
because their father had spent all of their money on women at topless
bars.

A doctor's wife forced her 10 year old son to apply for federally
funded free school lunches to delude the boy that his "daddy has made
us poor."

A woman who for years was very close to the children in a custody
battle, was asked by their mother to give up neutrality and join her
campaign against the father to "dance on his grave." When the friend
refused to give up her neutrality, the mother falsely informed her
children that their father was having an affair with this woman.

These behaviors, if successful, could lead a child to not only hate the
father but perhaps go years without seeing him. As Cartwright (1993)
has noted: "The goal of the alienator is crystalline: to deprive the
lost parent, not only of the child's time, but of the time of
childhood" (p. 210).

Criterion 1B: Involving Others in Malicious Actions

The second component of the first major criterion where the mother
attempts to punish the husband, involves manipulating other individuals
to engage in malicious acts against the father. Examples of this kind
are as follows:

During a custody battle, a mother lied to a therapist about the
father's behaviour. The therapist, having never spoken with the father,
appeared as an "expert" witness to inform the Judge that the mother
should be the primary residential parent and that the father needed to
be in therapy.

One angry mother manipulated teenagers to leave anonymous threatening
notes at the ex-husband's home.

A mother who had lost legal custody of her child, manipulated a
secretary at the child's school to assist in kidnapping the child.

In the above examples, it is important to note that the person
manipulated by the angry mother has, in a way, been "alienated" against
the divorcing husband. Typically, the individual "duped" takes on a
righteous indignation, contributing to a rewarding climate for the
mother initiating malicious actions.

Criterion 1C: Excessive Litigation

There is little question that either party in a divorce or custody
proceeding is entitled to appropriate legal representation and action.
Individuals suffering from Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome,
however, attempt to punish the divorcing husband by engaging in
excessive litigation.

A belligerent and unreasonable mother verbally attacked her ex-husband
whenever she saw him. Over time, his response was to ignore her. She
then took him to court, asking the judge to require the ex-husband to
talk with her.

One mother told a judge that her daughter was not really her divorcing
husband's child.

One woman refused to stop attacking her ex-husband through the courts
despite numerous attorneys being fired or voluntarily leaving the case.
Over a three year period, seven different attorneys were utilized.

Data exist which can help in determining the range of excessive
litigation. For example, Keel et al. (1988) report on the frequency of
post-divorce litigation in a sample of 700 families. Their data
indicate that only 12.7% of families file one post-divorce petition to
the court, whereas less than 5% file two or more petitions (Keel at al.
1988); less than 1% file four or more petitions.

Criterion 2A: Denying Regular Visitation

Experts are in relative agreement that regular and uninterrupted
visitation with the non-residential parent is desirable and beneficial
for children, except in extreme circumstances (Hedges, 1991). In fact,
some states, such as Florida, have laws written to reflect this view
(Keane, 1990). Unfortunately, even when the father and children have
legal rights to visitation, individuals with Divorce Related Malicious
Mother Syndrome continue to interfere with it.

A mother who previously attacked her ex-husband physically during
visitation transfers of the children, refused to provide the children
when the ex-husband had the police attend to monitor exchanges.

When one divorced father arrived to pick up his children for
visitation, the mother arranged for her and the children to be
elsewhere so that the father could not visit with the children.

One mother had her physically intimidating boyfriend assault her
ex-husband when he came to pick up his children for visitation.

The President of The Council for Children's Rights (Washington, D.C.)
notes that such alienation is considered a form of child abuse (Levy,
1992). Unfortunately, the police typically avoid involving themselves
in such situations. Furthermore, unless a victimized father is
financially capable of returning to court on an ongoing basis, there is
little that can be done to prevent such mothers' behavior. Finally,
even when such cases are brought to trial, the courts are often
inadequate in supporting fathers' visitation rights (Commission on
Gender Bias in the Judicial System, 1992).

Criterion 2B: Denying Uninhibited Telephone Access

Given the physical absence of one parent, the telephone plays an
important role in maintaining the bond between child and
non-residential parent. Individuals suffering from Divorce Related
Malicious Mother Syndrome engage in an array of actions designed to
circumvent telephone access.

A father called to speak to his children and was told that they were
not at home when in bet he could hear their voices in the background.

When one father called to speak with his children, the mother put him
on "hold," informed no one, and then left him there.

Knowing that the children's father was away on vacation, one mother
encouraged them to leave several messages on his answering machine to
call back immediately only if he would like some additional visitation
time with his children.

Some fathers find the alienation attempts so painful and fruitless that
they eventually are extinguished from calling their children; they
simply "give up." Placed in a no-win scenario, the father's
"abandonment" (Hedges, 1991) unfortunately achieves the precise result
aimed for by the individual suffering from Divorce Related Malicious
Mother Syndrome.

Criterion 2C: Denying Participation in Extra-Curricular Activities

An integral part of the process of maintaining one's bond with one's
child is to participate in activities that one did before the parents
separated. School plays, team sports, and religious events are just
some of the types of activities of importance. Malicious Mothers
frequently engage in maneuvers designed to prevent participation in
these activities.

One father was deliberately given the wrong date and time for an
important event for the child. The child was asked by the mother, "I
wonder why your father didn't want to come to see you today"?

One mother refused to provide the father with any information about any
extra-curricular activities in which the children were engaged.

Prior to a child's soccer game, one mother told many of the team
parents disparaging falsehoods about the visiting lather. When he came
to watch his son's soccer game, many of these parents looked at him
with angry eyes, refused to talk with him, and walked away when he
moved toward them.

Malicious Mothers who engage in such behaviors rarely have to face
penalties for such actions. Judges, attorneys, and policemen cannot
involve themselves in every instance of blocked paternal access.
Furthermore, most fathers cannot afford the financial requirements
involved. As such, the cycle of access interference perpetuates itself.

Criterion 3A: Malicious Lying to the Children

Given their developmental status, children in a disputed divorce
situation are quite vulnerable. When one parent decides to attack the
other by lying to the children, examples of this type of malicious
behavior may include some of the following.

One divorcing mother told her very young daughter that her father was
"not really" her father even though he was.

An eight year old girl was forced by her mother to hand unpaid bills to
her lather when he visited because the mother had falsely told the
daughter that the father had not provided any economic means of support
to the family.

One mother falsely told her children that their father had repeatedly
beat her up in the past.

These examples of malicious lying can be contrasted with the more
subtle maneuvers typically seen in Parental Alienation Syndrome, such
as "virtual allegations" (Cartwright, 1993). Here, the mother setting
up a Parental Alienation Syndrome may hint that abuse may have
occurred, whereas the individual suffering from Divorce Related
Malicious Mother Syndrome falsely claims that abuse has actually
occurred.

Criterion 3B: Malicious Lying to Others

Individuals suffering from Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome
may engage a wide range of other individuals in their attacks upon the
ex-husband. However, with this particular criterion, the individual
with Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome specifically lies to
other individuals in the belligerency against the father. Some examples
include the following.

One furious mother called the president of the (1500 employee)
workplace of her divorcing husband, claiming falsely that he was using
business property for personal gain and was abusing their mutual
children at his work locale.

One woman falsely told slate officials that her ex-husband was sexually
abusing their daughter. The child was immediately taken away from him
and his access to her was denied.

During the course of a custody dispute, one mother falsely informed the
guardian, who was investigating the parenting skills of each parent,
that the father had physically abused her.

Snyder (1986) has reported on the difficulty imposed upon legal
authorities when confronted with someone who is an excellent liar.
Consistent with research on the inability of "specialists" to detect
lying (Ekman and O'Sullivan, 1991), a skilled fabricator can be a
compelling witness in the courtroom (Snyder, 1986). While sometimes
seen in borderline personalities, Snyder (1986) notes that pathological
lying (Pseudologia Fantastica) is not restricted to that particular
character disorder.

Criterion 3C: Violating Law to Attack the Husband

Individuals suffering from Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome
have few if any boundaries in their campaign against the divorcing
husband. Violations of law are common in many cases, although the laws
broken may be relatively minor. However, in some cases, the violations
of law may be quite serious.

One woman deliberately drove her automobile into the house of her
ex-husband where their mutual children resided.

In the midst of a custody battle, one woman broke into the residence of
her divorcing husband and stole important business papers.

An angry divorcing mother called a Christian evangelical television
station and pledged $1000, giving the name, address, and phone number
of her divorcing Jewish husband as the pledgee.

The above descriptions may remind the reader of certain personality
disorders (e.g., antisocial, borderline, sadistic) but these behaviors
may be demonstrated by individuals with Divorce Related Malicious
Mother Syndrome who do not appear to meet official diagnostic criteria
for an Axis II disorder. Further, in each of the four examples provided
above, none of the Malicious Mothers involved was sentenced for such
behavior by a Judge.

Criterion 4: Not Due to Another Disorder

In assessing the Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome, it is
important to note that many of the above clinical examples seem to have
occurred in individuals who had no prior mental disorder diagnosis or
treatment. In fact, one mother who engaged in extreme maliciousness
toward her divorcing husband had several mental health professionals
testify that she was not suffering from any type of mental disorder.
Clearly, it would seem that individuals who have Divorce Related
Malicious Mother Syndrome may or may not have a concomitant mental
disorder.

In the author's experience, for each mental disorder that might come to
mind to account for some of this behavior, an exceptional case
presents. For example, in some cases an Adjustment Disorder might seem
an appropriate diagnosis, yet one woman still denied her ex-husband
visitation 10 years after the divorce. Other cases might suggest a
possibility of a personality disorder diagnosis, yet one woman who
repeatedly violated the law in attacking her ex-husband, received no
personality disorder diagnosis despite being evaluated by masters level
and doctoral level examiners. In some instances, Intermittent Explosive
Disorder might be considered, yet the anger for many of the mothers
does not appear to be intermittent.

Finally, the reader should appreciate that while diagnostic accuracy
for certain psychiatric difficulties is not as good as one would like
(e.g., the personality disorders, see Turkat, 1990), the problem is
compounded in family law where incompetent mental health examiners
sometimes become involved in the judicial process (Turkat, 195)3).
Clearly, the relationship between Divorce Related Malicious Mother
Syndrome and other mental disorders is a complex one which requires
significant investigation.

DISCUSSION

The above description of the Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome
raises a variety of important clinical, legal, and scientific issues.

From a clinical perspective, families that involve a Divorce Related

Malicious Mother Syndrome are subject to serious episodes of stress and
distress. Yet, there is no scientific evidence on how to treat this
phenomenon. It is particularly compromised by the fact that many of
these cases that appear to meet the proposed diagnostic criteria deny
that there is anything wrong with them.

An additional difficulty is that many therapists are unaware of this
pattern of malicious behavior (Heinz and Heinz, 1993). As such, there
are therapists who are "fooled" by such cases and, as noted earlier,
will come to court testifying that there is nothing wrong with the
mother involved.

From a legal perspective, there are some attorneys who may

unintentionally encourage this type of behavior (Gardner, 1989). On the
other hand, there are some attorneys who deliberately encourage such
behavior, as the financial rewards for them are time dependent. In
other words, the more involved the litigation process, the greater the
profits for the attorney (Grotman and Thomas, 1990). However, even for
the subset of attorneys for whom this may be true, there is a point of
diminishing returns. Furthermore, independent of economic
considerations, many who become involved with family law courtrooms
find that these types of cases are not handled well (Greif, 1985; Levy,
1992).

The woman who is not disturbed "enough" to lose custody of her children
in the courtroom will not have money denied to her because she engages
in this behavior; nor will she go to jail. Thus, many clients report
significant frustration when they and their children are exposed to
this type of behavior, and the courts seem to do little if anything
about.

In a review of pertinent law literature on bias against men in family
law proceedings, Tillitski (1992) concluded that there is widespread
discrimination. This is well illustrated by one family law Judge's
statement that, "I ain't never seen the calves follow the bulls, they
always follow the cow; therefore, I always give custody to the mamas"
(Commission on Gender Bias in the Judicial System, 1992 p. 742).
Similarly, it is noted that visitation rights of fathers are not
enforced as rigidly as are child support orders (Commission on Gender
Bias in the Judicial System, 1992). Such bias against men in family law
proceedings results in a unique group of fathers who unintentionally
become relatively helpless victims of the system (Tillitski, 1992).
This situation would seem to reinforce much of the vicious behavior
displayed by women suffering from Divorce Related Malicious Mother
Syndrome.

The issue of sex distribution of the disorder certainly needs to be
addressed. The overwhelming majority of custodial parents are female
(Commission on Gender Bias in the Judicial System, 1992). Gardner
(1989) has noted that Parental Alienation Syndrome appears most
commonly in females, although it is possible for a male who has custody
of the children to engage in the same type of alienating behaviors. The
author's experience with Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome is
similar to Gardner's. However, the present writer has yet to see a case
of a father engaging in all of the criteria listed. This does not mean
that it is not possible for there to be a "Malicious Father" Syndrome.
In fact, Shepard (1992) reports that there is significant abuse of some
custodial mothers by non-residential fathers. On the other hand, it
should be noted that there are females who are required to pay chiltl
support, but we have yet to heara about "Deadbeat Moms." Given at the
present time that a case in which the father met all of the criteria
for Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syntlrome has yet to be
documented, it appears advisable to await scientific evidence to guide
issues of nosologic labeling.

How prevalent is the Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome? The
answer is unknown. Gardner (1989) reports that approximately 90% of all
custody battles involve some aspects of parental alienation. Further,
Kressel (1985) reviewed data indicating that up to 40% of maternal
custodians denied visitation to the ex-husband in order to punish him.
Relatedly, Arditti (1992) reported that 50% of a sample of divorced
fathers (N = 125) indicated that visitation was interfered with by the
mother. While aspects of parental alienation may be common, it is
highly unlikely that such a percentage of maternal custodians would
meet all of the criteria for Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome.

In regard to incidence, it would appear through the title of this
syndrome that the malicious behavior is precipitated by the divorce
process.

However, this is clearly an empirical question. While the malicious
actions may first be noted during a divorce process, it is possible
that maliciousness may have been present earlier but undetected.
Research on pre-divorce parental conflict (Enos and Handal, 1986)
supports this speculation. Relatedly, it may also be that there are
some cases of pre-existing mental disorder that have not been
discovered until the stress of the divorce itself unfolds.

Finally, it should be noted that research on the nature of post-divorce
family functioning is beginning to emerge. Some data exist on the role
of parental conflict in children's postdivorce functioning (e.g., Frost
and Pakiz, 1990; Furstenberg et al., 1987; Healy, Malley and Stewart,
1990; Kudek, 1988), but studies have yet to appear on the more extreme
cases of Parental Alienation Syndrome and Divorce Related Malicious
Mother Syndrome.

The Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome represents an important
societal phenomenon. The disorder affects children, parents, attorneys,
judges, guardians, mental health professionals, and others. Until this
phenomenon is explored more thoroughly in the scientific and clinical
literature, the problems imposed by individuals suffering from Divorce
Related Malicious Mother Syndrome will continue to plague us.
Hopefully, the present manuscript will stimulate research so that
clinical and legal management guidelines can be developed.

REFERENCES

Artlitli, J. A. (1992). Factors related to custody, visitation, and
child support for divorced fathers: An exploratory analysis. J. Div.
Remarr. 17: 23-42.

Beal, E. W., and Hockman, D. (1991). Adult Children of Divorce,
Delacorte Press, New York.

Cartwright, D. F. (1993), Expanding the parameters of parental
alienation syndrome. Am. J. Fam. Ther. 21: 205-215.

Commission on Gender Bias in the Judicial System. (1992). Gender and
justice in the courts: A report to the supreme court of Georgia.
Georgia State Univ. Law Rev. 8: 539-807.

Ekman, P., and O'Sullivan, M. (1991). Who can catch a liar? American
Psychologist, 46: 913-920.

Enos, D. M., and Handal, P. J. (1986). The relation of parental marital
status and perceived family conflict to adjustment in white
adolescents. J. Consult. Clin. Psychol. 54: 820-824.

Frost, A. K., and Pakiz, U. (1990). The effects of marital disruption
on adolescence: Time as a dynamic. Am. J. Orthopsychiatry 60: 544-555.

Furstenberg, F. F., Morgan, S. P., and Allison, P. D. (1987). Paternal
participation and children's well being after marital dissolution. Am.
Sociological Rev. 52: 695-701.

Gardner, R. A. (1987). The Parental Alienation Syndrome and the
Differentiation Between Fabricated and Genuine Child Sex Abuse,
Creative Therapeutics, Cresskill, NJ.

Gardner, R. A. (1989). Family Evaluation in Child Custody Mediation,
Arbitration, and Litigation, Creative Therapeutics, Cresskill, NJ.

Greif, G. L. (1985). Single Fathers, Lexington Books, Lexington, MA.

Grutman, R., and Thomas, B. (1990). Lawyers and Thieves. Simon &
Schuster, Englewood Cliffs, NJ.

Healy, J. M., Malley, J. E., and Stewart, A. J. (1900). Children and
their fathers after parental separation. Am. J. Orthopsychiatry 60:
531-543.

Hetherington, E. N., and Arasteh, J. D. (eds.). (1988). Impact of
Divorce, Single Parenting and Step-Parenting on Children, Lawrence
Erlbaum, Hillsdale, NJ.

Heinz, H. R., and Heinz, S. A. (1993). Emotional incest: The tragedy of
divorcing families. Am. J. Fam. Law 7: 169-174.

Hernandez, D. J. (1988). The demographics of divorce and remarriage. In
Hetherington, E. M., and Arasteh, J. D. (eds.), Impact of Divorce,
Single Parenting, and Step-Parenting on Children, Lawrence Erlbaum,
Hillsdale, NJ, pp. 3-22.

Hodges, W. E (1991). Interventions for Children of Divorce, (second
edition), Wiley, New York.

Keane, G. (1990). Florida Divorce Handbook, Pineapple Press, Sarasota,
FL.

Koel, A., Clark, S. C., Phear, W. P., and Hauser, B. B. (1988). A
comparison of joint and sole legal custody agreements. In Hetherington,
E. M., and Arasteh, J. D. (eds.), Impact of Divorce, Single Parenting,
and Step-Parenting on Children, Lawrence Erlbaum, Hillsdale, NJ, pp.
73-90.

Kressel, K. (1985). The Process of Divorce, Basic Books, New York.

Kurdek, L. (1988). Custodial mothers' perceptions of visitation and
payment of child support by non-custodial fathers in families with low
and high levels of pre-separation interparental conflict. J. Appl.
Devel. Psychol. 9: 315-328.

Laosa, L. N. (1988). Ethnicity and single parenting in the United
Stales. In Hetherington, E. M., and Arasteh, J. D. (eds.), Impact of
Divorce, Single Parenting, and Step-Parenting on Children, Lawrence
Erlbaum, Hillsdale, NJ, pp. 23-49.

Shepard, N. (1992). Child-visiting and domestic abuse. Child Welfare
71: 357-367.

Snyder, S. (1986). Pseudologia Fantastica in the borderline patient.
Am. J. Psychiatry 143: 1287-1289.

Tillitski C. J. (1992). Fathers and child custody: Issues, trends, and
implications for counseling. J. Ment. Health Counsel. 14: 351-361.

Turkat I. D. (1990). The Personality Disorders: A Psychological
Approach to Clinical Management, Pergamon, New York.

Turkal, I. D. (1993). Questioning the mental health expert's custody
report. Am. J. Fam. Law 7: 175-179.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ira Daniel Turkat, Florida Institute of Psychology and University of
Florida College of Medicine,
1225 Avenida Del Circo, Venice, Florida 34285.

  #2  
Old November 23rd 06, 04:20 PM posted to alt.child-support
Werebat
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 109
Default To ALL fathers Custody



Relayer wrote:

The media has spent considerable effort raising public awareness about
the problem posed by divorced fathers who do not provide court ordered
child support payments. Hedges (1991) has noted that less than 20% of
divorced fathers provide child support payments three years after their
divorce.


Huh? Statistics I've read show that only 20% totally renege on their CS
payments. As compared to 50% of mothers who owe CS.


Research on the decline of women's economic status following
divorce (e.g., Hernandez, 1988; Laosa, 1988) has contributed to recent
legislation to address the "Deadbeat Dad" problem.


Wha? I thought this was debunked.


While the media correctly portrays the difficulties imposed upon women
and children by the "Deadbeat Dad" phenomenon,


"Correctly"? Sh'ya, right!

Lots of falsehood here.

- Ron ^*^

  #3  
Old November 23rd 06, 11:49 PM posted to alt.child-support
Dale
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 95
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Relayer" wrote in


DIVORCE RELATED MALICIOUS MOTHER SYNDROME
Ira Daniel Turkat, Ph.D.

With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, a
pattern of abnormal behaviour has emerged that has received little
attention. The present paper defines the Divorce Related Malicious
Mother Syndrome. Specific nosologic criteria are provided with abundant
clinical examples. Given the lack of scientific data available on the
disorder, issues of classification, etiology, treatment, and prevention
appear ripe for investigation.



We need a scientific study to figure out why some women are just basic
Assholes?


  #4  
Old November 24th 06, 12:53 AM posted to alt.child-support
Relayer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 301
Default To ALL fathers Custody


Dale wrote:
"Relayer" wrote in


DIVORCE RELATED MALICIOUS MOTHER SYNDROME
Ira Daniel Turkat, Ph.D.

With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, a
pattern of abnormal behaviour has emerged that has received little
attention. The present paper defines the Divorce Related Malicious
Mother Syndrome. Specific nosologic criteria are provided with abundant
clinical examples. Given the lack of scientific data available on the
disorder, issues of classification, etiology, treatment, and prevention
appear ripe for investigation.



We need a scientific study to figure out why some women are just basic
Assholes?


Ron- I agree, I think that number is incorrect..

Dale- Yep- I agree with you..

  #5  
Old November 24th 06, 01:58 PM posted to alt.child-support
Jeff Guay
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4
Default To ALL fathers Custody

OK...speaking as the divorcing mom here...not ALL women are assholes. I
loved my son's dad and more importantly, my son loves his dad. I would NEVER
EVER even consider any of the things in this article. My son loves his daddy
and looks forward to spending time with him. We are still his parents, we
just don't live under the same roof, that doesnt mean that rules
change..they dont. We DO NOT speak of each other to or in front of our son,
regardless. We are going thru the whole support/custody issue right now
because yes...there are a few things we dont agree on...but this I can tell
you..I am NOT out to destroy him or take him to the cleaners...Just the
response from the other side....Good luck all..
"Relayer" wrote in message
oups.com...

Dale wrote:
"Relayer" wrote in


DIVORCE RELATED MALICIOUS MOTHER SYNDROME
Ira Daniel Turkat, Ph.D.

With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, a
pattern of abnormal behaviour has emerged that has received little
attention. The present paper defines the Divorce Related Malicious
Mother Syndrome. Specific nosologic criteria are provided with

abundant
clinical examples. Given the lack of scientific data available on the
disorder, issues of classification, etiology, treatment, and

prevention
appear ripe for investigation.



We need a scientific study to figure out why some women are just basic
Assholes?


Ron- I agree, I think that number is incorrect..

Dale- Yep- I agree with you..



  #6  
Old November 24th 06, 03:33 PM posted to alt.child-support
Phil
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 387
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Jeff Guay" wrote in message
...
OK...speaking as the divorcing mom here...not ALL women are assholes.
I
loved my son's dad and more importantly, my son loves his dad. I would
NEVER
EVER even consider any of the things in this article. My son loves his
daddy
and looks forward to spending time with him. We are still his
parents, we
just don't live under the same roof, that doesnt mean that rules
change..they dont. We DO NOT speak of each other to or in front of our
son,
regardless. We are going thru the whole support/custody issue right
now
because yes...there are a few things we dont agree on...but this I can
tell
you..I am NOT out to destroy him or take him to the cleaners...Just
the
response from the other side....Good luck all..


Perhaps you missed the word "some" in Dale's response:
"We need a scientific study to figure out why some women are just basic
Assholes?"
Thankfully, there are wonderful custodial moms; sadly they seem to be
the minority.
Phil #3

"Relayer" wrote in message
oups.com...

Dale wrote:
"Relayer" wrote in


DIVORCE RELATED MALICIOUS MOTHER SYNDROME
Ira Daniel Turkat, Ph.D.

With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, a
pattern of abnormal behaviour has emerged that has received
little
attention. The present paper defines the Divorce Related
Malicious
Mother Syndrome. Specific nosologic criteria are provided with

abundant
clinical examples. Given the lack of scientific data available on
the
disorder, issues of classification, etiology, treatment, and

prevention
appear ripe for investigation.


We need a scientific study to figure out why some women are just
basic
Assholes?


Ron- I agree, I think that number is incorrect..

Dale- Yep- I agree with you..





  #7  
Old November 24th 06, 04:52 PM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 936
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Jeff Guay" wrote
OK...speaking as the divorcing mom here...not ALL women are assholes. I
loved my son's dad and more importantly, my son loves his dad. I would
NEVER
EVER even consider any of the things in this article. My son loves his
daddy
and looks forward to spending time with him. We are still his parents, we
just don't live under the same roof, that doesnt mean that rules
change..they dont. We DO NOT speak of each other to or in front of our
son,
regardless. We are going thru the whole support/custody issue right now

==
The *why* are you going through the courts giving the state supreme
authority over the lives of your children?
When my ex and I divorced, there was no custody orders--The kids weren't
even mentioned in the divorce decree.
It did not occur to us to hand control of our children to the state
and rendering them divisible property. If you two are commited to these
kids, it is baffling as to why you have invited the courts
to rule over them. Totally baffling.


  #8  
Old November 24th 06, 05:52 PM posted to alt.child-support
Dale
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 95
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Jeff Guay" wrote in message
...
OK...speaking as the divorcing mom here...not ALL women are assholes. I
loved my son's dad and more importantly, my son loves his dad. I would
NEVER
EVER even consider any of the things in this article. My son loves his
daddy
and looks forward to spending time with him. We are still his parents, we
just don't live under the same roof, that doesnt mean that rules
change..they dont. We DO NOT speak of each other to or in front of our
son,
regardless. We are going thru the whole support/custody issue right now
because yes...there are a few things we dont agree on...but this I can
tell
you..I am NOT out to destroy him or take him to the cleaners...Just the
response from the other side....Good luck all..


Congradulations, you are in the normal minority! ;-)

When people grow apart and separate, I don't know why they waste time and
energy to haggle over details. Material things can be replaced, so give them
away! Money comes and goes, you can always earn more. Personally, I would
rather have my freedom & independance rather than have to depend on anyone
from my torn past to supply me with the things I need to survive.

Do yourself a favour, let it all go, it matters little when you look back!
We are all spiritual beings in a physical body, this life is only temporary.




  #9  
Old November 24th 06, 05:56 PM posted to alt.child-support
teachrmama
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,905
Default To ALL fathers Custody


"Jeff Guay" wrote in message
...
OK...speaking as the divorcing mom here...not ALL women are assholes. I
loved my son's dad and more importantly, my son loves his dad. I would
NEVER
EVER even consider any of the things in this article. My son loves his
daddy
and looks forward to spending time with him. We are still his parents, we
just don't live under the same roof, that doesnt mean that rules
change..they dont. We DO NOT speak of each other to or in front of our
son,
regardless. We are going thru the whole support/custody issue right now
because yes...there are a few things we dont agree on...but this I can
tell
you..I am NOT out to destroy him or take him to the cleaners...Just the
response from the other side....Good luck all..


That's great. I know a lot of divorced parnts who treat each other with
curtesy and respect, and are careful to make sure their children have time
with each parent. This is how it should be. Unfortunately, I have also
seen the other side of the issue. And the biggest impact of this behavior
is on the children, which is very sad. I hope yopu and your ex come to
terms quickly with the child support issue--it is, after all, only money.
When your child is 50, will that money even matter?



"Relayer" wrote in message
oups.com...

Dale wrote:
"Relayer" wrote in


DIVORCE RELATED MALICIOUS MOTHER SYNDROME
Ira Daniel Turkat, Ph.D.

With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, a
pattern of abnormal behaviour has emerged that has received little
attention. The present paper defines the Divorce Related Malicious
Mother Syndrome. Specific nosologic criteria are provided with

abundant
clinical examples. Given the lack of scientific data available on the
disorder, issues of classification, etiology, treatment, and

prevention
appear ripe for investigation.


We need a scientific study to figure out why some women are just basic
Assholes?


Ron- I agree, I think that number is incorrect..

Dale- Yep- I agree with you..





  #10  
Old November 24th 06, 09:39 PM posted to alt.child-support
Werebat
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 109
Default To ALL fathers Custody



Jeff Guay wrote:

OK...speaking as the divorcing mom here...not ALL women are assholes. I
loved my son's dad and more importantly, my son loves his dad. I would NEVER
EVER even consider any of the things in this article. My son loves his daddy
and looks forward to spending time with him. We are still his parents, we
just don't live under the same roof, that doesnt mean that rules
change..they dont. We DO NOT speak of each other to or in front of our son,
regardless. We are going thru the whole support/custody issue right now
because yes...there are a few things we dont agree on...but this I can tell
you..I am NOT out to destroy him or take him to the cleaners...Just the
response from the other side....Good luck all..


As many have already pointed out, it's good that you are acting in a
mature way (although I too wonder why you wanted to even get the courts
involved with your kids). However, what distresses many of the fathers
here is the fact that the law can grotesquely favor that subset of
mothers who DO do the horrid things described in the article.

To make a rough analogy... I'm sure that many American Whites treated
American Blacks with nothing but respect and dignity before the Civil
Rights Movement... That doesn't mean that the Civil Rights Movement
never needed to happen, and that many laws didn't need to change.

- Ron ^*^

 




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