A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » alt.support » Child Support
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

'She wouldn't lie' mentality tips scales in custody fights



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old April 29th 08, 08:32 AM posted to alt.child-support
Dusty[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 85
Default 'She wouldn't lie' mentality tips scales in custody fights

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opi...,1768395.story

'She wouldn't lie' mentality tips scales in custody fights
By Rinaldo Del Gallo III
April 25, 2008

Last month, Mark A. Castillo allegedly confessed to drowning his three
children in the bathtub of a hotel room at the Inner Harbor. Mr. Castillo,
who reportedly told police a divorce and custody battle with his estranged
wife had propelled him to kill his children, is charged with three counts of
first-degree murder.

The Castillo tragedy might have been seen as a wake-up call to stop being
politically correct about mental illness and accept the fact that people who
attempt suicide or engage in exceptionally erratic behavior might be
unacceptable behavior risks to children. Instead, observers are drawing
flawed conclusions from this terrible incident - conclusions that threaten
to do serious harm to many innocent fathers embroiled in custody disputes.

What went wrong in the Castillo case, according to domestic violence
activists, is not that the courts were allowing an obviously mentally ill
person to visit his children. Rather, they seem to feel the problem is that
the mother's claims of abuse were not automatically believed.

Horrific, unusual cases such as the Castillos' can be a nightmare for the
fathers' rights community. Based on years of experience practicing family
law and as a father's rights advocate, I know that such incidents bring
activists out of the woodwork to decry a system that does not treat nearly
every "he said-she said" accusation as a case wherein what "she said" is the
truth. For example, Joan Meier, a faculty member at the George Washington
University law school, wrote an opinion piece in The Washington Post this
month stating that "mothers rarely fabricate or exaggerate the dangers they
see. . 'Bitter custody disputes' do not arise in a vacuum - most arise in
the context of mothers seeking to end abuse or protect their children."

The activists do have a point. If nearly every allegation of domestic
violence were accepted on its face as the truth, there would be less
domestic violence. However, hundreds of thousands would wrongfully be thrown
out of their homes, separated from their children and face undeserved legal
penalties.

Such an outcome would contradict what our nation stands for. American
society is supposed to avoid prosecution and persecution of the innocent as
an acceptable casualty in bringing the guilty to justice and protecting
victims.

We will never know what percentage of accusation of domestic violence are
false. Most of the time, there is simply an accusation without any
supporting evidence - and a denial without any supporting evidence - and it
is impossible to know who is telling the truth. It is what we lawyers call a
party that has not proved its case. Unfortunately for many men and fathers,
after tragic headlines such as the Castillo case, some judges would rather
play it safe than sorry. Restraining orders and supervised visitation under
such scenarios become more common, in my experience.

Accusations of domestic violence are simply too effective a tool in divorces
or child custody cases for some people not to succumb to the temptation of
making false or exaggerated claims when a relationship turns bad. A
successful early accusation of domestic violence typically leads to the
awarding of child custody. That leads to child support and often to
advantages in property division. Down the road, child support awards and
restraining orders can lead to contempt charges, and before long, a father's
life is ruined.

Curiously, our immigration laws also provide an incentive for false claims
of domestic violence: If the mother does not have a green card, she can
apply for a visa based upon such accusations under the reforms occasioned by
the Violence Against Women Act.

Unfortunately, many judges either naively accept the argument that women
seldom lie about acts of domestic violence or they accept persecution of
innocent fathers as a necessary casualty in protecting women and children. I
have tried many cases where judges cut me off when I was trying to prove a
mother's motivation to lie. Gruffly, the judges told me that my questions
were "irrelevant" and my theories "far-fetched."

This "she would not lie" mentality is infecting our legal system to the
point where domestic violence cases are about the defendants proving their
innocence rather than plaintiffs meaningfully overcoming the presumption of
innocence. Cases such as the Castillos' are exploited to make the situation
worse.

Rinaldo Del Gallo III is a practicing family law attorney in Pittsfield,
Mass., and a spokesman of the Berkshire Fatherhood Coalition. His e-mail is
.


 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Rons mentality dragonsgirl Foster Parents 8 December 5th 07 05:38 AM
What are Children Aggression & Parental abused Scales? _"PSYCHOLOGY Branch" Safwat Spanking 3 December 3rd 06 05:02 AM
British Dad Scales Palace Gini Child Support 11 September 15th 04 12:35 PM
cargo cult mentality of anti-spanking zealotS Doan Spanking 0 March 4th 04 06:04 PM
Mother of son in duct-tape case fights to keep custody wexwimpy Foster Parents 0 February 4th 04 06:39 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:27 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.