Dead beat dad wont pay CS

I'm a single mother with one child. I got married only a few months
after I graduated high school. Ayear later I became pregnant and nine
months later had a beautiful little boy. Anyways, to get straight to
the point, our marriage didn't work and now here I am with a baby no
formal education outside a high school diploma and a job paying nine
dollars an hour in which I get to spend three hours of quality time a
day with my son. My ex. wont pay his support. I'm doing all I can to
keep us above water and he cant send his 400 a month to pay for things
like day care and diapers. I hate to hear a man say "dont pay your CS
just hang in there" or " I dont pay my CS either" ... Men have more
opportunities than women. Better paying jobs ( with no education)
because a man can do physical labor more easily. Which of course pays
better. Trust me if I thought I could dig a ditch for 16 bucks and hour
I'd be all over that. But I cant. So men we can only do so much. We
dont want to lose the precious babies we gave birth to because we cant
make the big dollar and you don t want to pay. come on guys!

Are you the poster mother for NOW?

"Leighana" wrote in message
ups.com...
I'm a single mother with one child. I got married only a few months
after I graduated high school. Ayear later I became pregnant and nine
months later had a beautiful little boy. Anyways, to get straight to
the point, our marriage didn't work and now here I am with a baby no
formal education outside a high school diploma and a job paying nine
dollars an hour in which I get to spend three hours of quality time a
day with my son. My ex. wont pay his support. I'm doing all I can to
keep us above water and he cant send his 400 a month to pay for things
like day care and diapers. I hate to hear a man say "dont pay your CS
just hang in there" or " I dont pay my CS either" ... Men have more
opportunities than women. Better paying jobs ( with no education)
because a man can do physical labor more easily. Which of course pays
better. Trust me if I thought I could dig a ditch for 16 bucks and hour
I'd be all over that. But I cant. So men we can only do so much. We
dont want to lose the precious babies we gave birth to because we cant
make the big dollar and you don t want to pay. come on guys!

Do you have any family who can help you out? You have got to stop looking
at him as the solution to your problems. He isn't--the only one who can
move you beyond where you are right now--hopeless and overwhelmed--is YOU.
I'm not saying the money would not come in handy. But it is not the
solution you need. Can you swap child care with another struggling mother?
Can you find a roommate to help share expenses? Can you take college
courses one at a time until you do have some formal education? Don't sit
and wait for him to pay--respect yourself enough to do something to help
yourself. Child support will be over in a few short years, and you will
still be living with you. There are a number of women who post on this
board who have gone on from situations just like yours to being strong,
self-motivated women who can take care of themselves and their children.
You can do it too--one step at a time.

"Leighana" wrote in message
ups.com...
I'm a single mother with one child. I got married only a few months
after I graduated high school. Ayear later I became pregnant and nine
months later had a beautiful little boy. Anyways, to get straight to
the point, our marriage didn't work and now here I am with a baby no
formal education outside a high school diploma and a job paying nine
dollars an hour in which I get to spend three hours of quality time a
day with my son. My ex. wont pay his support. I'm doing all I can to
keep us above water and he cant send his 400 a month to pay for things
like day care and diapers. I hate to hear a man say "dont pay your CS
just hang in there" or " I dont pay my CS either" ... Men have more
opportunities than women. Better paying jobs ( with no education)
because a man can do physical labor more easily. Which of course pays
better. Trust me if I thought I could dig a ditch for 16 bucks and hour
I'd be all over that. But I cant. So men we can only do so much. We
dont want to lose the precious babies we gave birth to because we cant
make the big dollar and you don t want to pay. come on guys!

Leighana wrote:
I'm a single mother with one child. I got married only a few months
after I graduated high school. Ayear later I became pregnant and nine
months later had a beautiful little boy. Anyways, to get straight to
the point, our marriage didn't work and now here I am with a baby no
formal education outside a high school diploma and a job paying nine
dollars an hour in which I get to spend three hours of quality time a
day with my son. My ex. wont pay his support. I'm doing all I can to
keep us above water and he cant send his 400 a month to pay for things
like day care and diapers. I hate to hear a man say "dont pay your CS
just hang in there" or " I dont pay my CS either" ... Men have more
opportunities than women. Better paying jobs ( with no education)
because a man can do physical labor more easily. Which of course pays
better. Trust me if I thought I could dig a ditch for 16 bucks and hour
I'd be all over that. But I cant. So men we can only do so much. We
dont want to lose the precious babies we gave birth to because we cant
make the big dollar and you don t want to pay. come on guys!

Leighana,

You'll have to excuse me if I have little sympathy for you. Not every
woman gets hitched at 18 and doesn't bother to pursue any type of
formal education. Whether you're married or not, you always have to be
able to take of yourself and your family. You can't lump all this
responsibility on the shoulders of your spouse/partner. Whether he
leaves you in divorce or death, you still have to be able to count on
yourself. To simply say, I can't do it because I'm just a woman is
insulting and shameful.

Have you thought that maybe he can't afford that $400? If you got
hitched so young he probably doesn't have any advanced studies that
would warrant a higher salary. Negotiate with him and see what he can
afford. In lieu of money, he can take care of the baby while you go
back to school and learn to be a bit self-sufficient.

"Leighana" wrote in message
ups.com...
I'm a single mother with one child. I got married only a few months
after I graduated high school. Ayear later I became pregnant and nine
months later had a beautiful little boy. Anyways, to get straight to
the point, our marriage didn't work and now here I am with a baby no
formal education outside a high school diploma and a job paying nine
dollars an hour in which I get to spend three hours of quality time a
day with my son. My ex. wont pay his support. I'm doing all I can to
keep us above water and he cant send his 400 a month to pay for things
like day care and diapers. I hate to hear a man say "dont pay your CS
just hang in there" or " I dont pay my CS either" ... Men have more
opportunities than women.

No, they don't. That is the lie told by feminists. The truth is, men
have a better outcome because they are willing to do what is necessary
to achieve it. Women have equal opportunity; YOU had equal opportunity,
you just chose motherhood instead. That's hardly a man's fault.

Better paying jobs ( with no education)
because a man can do physical labor more easily.

While men in general are stronger, most jobs do not require great
strength; very few require great muscle mass such as that needed by a
roughneck (which pays well). The truth is, women choose the clean and
comfortable but lower paying jobs. Roofing and garbage collecting do not
require large muscles. Neither have educational requirements, pay well
and are easily done by men or women. Why then do you rarely, if ever,
see a woman doing either?

Which of course pays
better. Trust me if I thought I could dig a ditch for 16 bucks and
hour
I'd be all over that.

Not likely.

But I cant.

Won't.

So men we can only do so much.

Whining now?

We
dont want to lose the precious babies we gave birth to because we cant
make the big dollar and you don t want to pay. come on guys!

Get over yourself already.
It is apparent you think mothers get to choose motherhood and expect to
be paid for their decisions. Shades of feminism
Phil #3

Hello Leighana,
You probably will not receive too much support on this newsgroup. This
newsgroup is mostly composed of non-custodial parents who are quite tired of
being screwed by the CS and Child Custody system, and they have very good
reason to be frustrated by it.

However, I will take your plea for help at face value and provide you with
the advice you request, despite my reservations and doubts.

The answer to your dilemma actually goes a little deeper than you are
seeing. If you think about it, the individual you are talking about
probably doesn't make too much money to begin with, especially if he too is
starting out in life and you are probably going to just beat your head
against a wall for a very long time trying to get a payment from him. Try
this instead....

You are actually in a pretty good situation, whether you see it or not.

First, go to the welfare office and apply for food stamps and TANF aid. It
will take a while to get, but should be worth it in the end.

Second, go to your local college and enroll. Take anything for now, or just
talk to a counselor about what is a good thing for you to take with your
interests and abilities. Do not make a mistake here, as so many do. Aim
for the sky on this one. Being young, you have a whole bunch of things
available to you. Don't settle for 'teacher's aid' when you can be a
teacher. Don't settle for 'medical assistant' when you can be a nurse.
Four years goes by quicker than you may think. And here is the wonderful
news. You get to live off of the additional financial aid as you study.
Sometimes (depending on the cost of the school you attend) this can range
around $6,000 per quarter (usually excluding summer). Believe it or not,
that beats $400 a month.

Since you have a child less than 5 years of age, you are allowed to collect
the welfare and food stamps as you study. Also, there is usually a system
in the government somewhere that helps take care of child care while you
study and work.

Follow this advice, you'll probably increase your income by $20,000 per year
while you study and even provide a better future for your child in the end.





"Leighana" wrote in message
ups.com...
I'm a single mother with one child. I got married only a few months
after I graduated high school. Ayear later I became pregnant and nine
months later had a beautiful little boy. Anyways, to get straight to
the point, our marriage didn't work and now here I am with a baby no
formal education outside a high school diploma and a job paying nine
dollars an hour in which I get to spend three hours of quality time a
day with my son. My ex. wont pay his support. I'm doing all I can to
keep us above water and he cant send his 400 a month to pay for things
like day care and diapers. I hate to hear a man say "dont pay your CS
just hang in there" or " I dont pay my CS either" ... Men have more
opportunities than women. Better paying jobs ( with no education)
because a man can do physical labor more easily. Which of course pays
better. Trust me if I thought I could dig a ditch for 16 bucks and hour
I'd be all over that. But I cant. So men we can only do so much. We
dont want to lose the precious babies we gave birth to because we cant
make the big dollar and you don t want to pay. come on guys!



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Leighana wrote:
I'm a single mother with one child. I got married only a few months
after I graduated high school. Ayear later I became pregnant and nine
months later had a beautiful little boy. Anyways, to get straight to
the point, our marriage didn't work and now here I am with a baby no
formal education outside a high school diploma and a job paying nine
dollars an hour in which I get to spend three hours of quality time a
day with my son. My ex. wont pay his support. I'm doing all I can to
keep us above water and he cant send his 400 a month to pay for things
like day care and diapers. I hate to hear a man say "dont pay your CS
just hang in there" or " I dont pay my CS either" ... Men have more
opportunities than women. Better paying jobs ( with no education)
because a man can do physical labor more easily. Which of course pays
better. Trust me if I thought I could dig a ditch for 16 bucks and hour
I'd be all over that. But I cant. So men we can only do so much. We
dont want to lose the precious babies we gave birth to because we cant
make the big dollar and you don t want to pay. come on guys!

Can you dig smaller ditches? Just kidding...sorry

Mr. Anonymous wrote:

Hello Leighana,
You probably will not receive too much support on this newsgroup. This
newsgroup is mostly composed of non-custodial parents who are quite tired of
being screwed by the CS and Child Custody system, and they have very good
reason to be frustrated by it.

However, I will take your plea for help at face value and provide you with
the advice you request, despite my reservations and doubts.

The answer to your dilemma actually goes a little deeper than you are
seeing. If you think about it, the individual you are talking about
probably doesn't make too much money to begin with, especially if he too is
starting out in life and you are probably going to just beat your head
against a wall for a very long time trying to get a payment from him. Try
this instead....

You are actually in a pretty good situation, whether you see it or not.

First, go to the welfare office and apply for food stamps and TANF aid. It
will take a while to get, but should be worth it in the end.

Second, go to your local college and enroll. Take anything for now, or just
talk to a counselor about what is a good thing for you to take with your
interests and abilities. Do not make a mistake here, as so many do. Aim
for the sky on this one. Being young, you have a whole bunch of things
available to you. Don't settle for 'teacher's aid' when you can be a
teacher. Don't settle for 'medical assistant' when you can be a nurse.
Four years goes by quicker than you may think. And here is the wonderful
news. You get to live off of the additional financial aid as you study.
Sometimes (depending on the cost of the school you attend) this can range
around $6,000 per quarter (usually excluding summer). Believe it or not,
that beats $400 a month.

Since you have a child less than 5 years of age, you are allowed to collect
the welfare and food stamps as you study. Also, there is usually a system
in the government somewhere that helps take care of child care while you
study and work.

Follow this advice, you'll probably increase your income by $20,000 per year
while you study and even provide a better future for your child in the end.

Aaand no answer.

"But THAT would involve WORK!" (A four-letter word)

- Ron ^*^

Leighana wrote:
I'm a single mother with one child. I got married only a few months
after I graduated high school. Ayear later I became pregnant and nine
months later had a beautiful little boy. Anyways, to get straight to
the point, our marriage didn't work and now here I am with a baby no
formal education outside a high school diploma and a job paying nine
dollars an hour in which I get to spend three hours of quality time a
day with my son. My ex. wont pay his support. I'm doing all I can to
keep us above water and he cant send his 400 a month to pay for things
like day care and diapers. I hate to hear a man say "dont pay your CS
just hang in there" or " I dont pay my CS either" ... Men have more
opportunities than women. Better paying jobs ( with no education)
because a man can do physical labor more easily. Which of course pays
better. Trust me if I thought I could dig a ditch for 16 bucks and hour
I'd be all over that. But I cant. So men we can only do so much. We
dont want to lose the precious babies we gave birth to because we cant
make the big dollar and you don t want to pay. come on guys!



First off, I'm going to react to this as if it is a legitimate argument,
even though my spidey sense says this is troll bait.
First off, I have rarely seen a serious NCP on this list say he wanted
to get _completely_ out of paying child support. Once the shock wears
off, most of us admit, yes we will be paying child support. What we
object to is unreasonable child support that leaves the NCP unable to
pay his other bills--gas, electric, and so on. We object to a family
court system that seems to treat child support as a lottery ticket, and
does not work hard enough to ensure that shared custody (which would see
the child on less government support) is the norm. In fact, in this
country, we have a system in which the goal seems to be to maximize
dollar amount and minimize amount of responsible time in which the
parent is obliged to see and care for his child.
Anybody that thinks that shared custody would lead to a lower total
child support is out of their mind. What it would do is let both
parents pool costs and resources for the kid and themselves (ex. food
that can be bought in bulk is a lot less expensive than individual shares).
Secondly, your argument that "men can do physical labor more easily,
which of course pays better" is loaded with assumptions. It assumes
that the market for physical labor hasn't been drawn lower by automation
and immigration (both legal and illegal). Secondly, even arguemendo
that men can do physical labor more easily and that physical labor in a
particular area pays higher than other non-physical jobs, it doesn't
mean that they can go out there for 8 hours in the hot summer sun doing
physical labor and not have it have a draw on their own health.
Finally, there are men out there who cannot do that, either because of
training or physical handicaps, which you ignore.
Finally if your ex is avoiding child support, you need to go to CSE and
get a wage assignment (the reason why I'm doubtful of this post). Wage
assignments today are the norm, not the exception, and they are tacked
on whether or not you have arrears.

"Leighana" wrote in message
ups.com...
I'm a single mother with one child. I got married only a few months
after I graduated high school. Ayear later I became pregnant and nine
months later had a beautiful little boy. Anyways, to get straight to
the point, our marriage didn't work and now here I am with a baby no
formal education outside a high school diploma and a job paying nine
dollars an hour in which I get to spend three hours of quality time a
day with my son. My ex. wont pay his support. I'm doing all I can to
keep us above water and he cant send his 400 a month to pay for things
like day care and diapers. I hate to hear a man say "dont pay your CS
just hang in there" or " I dont pay my CS either" ... Men have more
opportunities than women. Better paying jobs ( with no education)
because a man can do physical labor more easily. Which of course pays
better. Trust me if I thought I could dig a ditch for 16 bucks and hour
I'd be all over that. But I cant. So men we can only do so much. We
dont want to lose the precious babies we gave birth to because we cant
make the big dollar and you don t want to pay. come on guys!

Go back to the judge and offer him/her sexual favors. It'll work you
wonders................