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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12 in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the time, that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days before she told me! What kind of person could do something like that? |
#2
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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
wrote Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12 in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the time, that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days before she told me! What kind of person could do something like that? == The kind of person you'd choose to marry and have children with? |
#3
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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
wrote in message ups.com... Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12 in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the time, that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days before she told me! What kind of person could do something like that? One with no guts to deal directly with the change they are creating. Women initiate divorces 85+% of the time. She was just looking to your daughter to break the news to you first because she couldn't do it. This plays out in different ways. In my case my ex wanted me to tell our children "we" were getting a divorce even though she is the one who was breaking up the marriage. Quite frankly I view these situations as womenfirsters demanding what they want for themselves without the spine to stand up for what they want and without regard for how children might be implicated in their schemes to end marriages. |
#4
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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
"Gini" wrote in message news:Q491i.44$CQ4.0@trndny06... wrote Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12 in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the time, that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days before she told me! What kind of person could do something like that? == The kind of person you'd choose to marry and have children with? How can a husband predict his wife will become a person from a different planet 10-15 years after their marriage? How are men supposed to know before marriage their brides will feel unfulfilled emotionally, in need of a change, want to find themselves, believe they not having their needs met, or feeling like they are growing apart 10-15 years later? |
#5
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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
A coward and a sorry excuse for a mother who would envolve her pre teen daughter in such a difficult situation. No matter what that woman does or says, never put her down in front of your kids, the temptation will be staggering, but don't do it, you will come out smelling like a rose for it when they are grown and see things as they really are, been there, done that. My husbands kids are also a boy, 14 and a girl 12 and even at their age, they tell us they know who is unreasonable and mean...and it isn't their father. So always play nice in front of the kids, for their sake Good luck! |
#6
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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
"Bob Whiteside" wrote "Gini"wrote wrote Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12 in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the time, that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days before she told me! What kind of person could do something like that? == The kind of person you'd choose to marry and have children with? How can a husband predict his wife will become a person from a different planet 10-15 years after their marriage? How are men supposed to know before marriage their brides will feel unfulfilled emotionally, in need of a change, want to find themselves, believe they not having their needs met, or feeling like they are growing apart 10-15 years later? == Not sure. But, I am disturbed by the number of folks who show up here obsessing about the "abusive ex," "the glass-throwing drug addicted slut" etc whom they chose to marry and procreate with. Look how Moon (who has recently disappeared, by the way) has presented her ex as an abuser, child neglector, deadbeat, etc when he's the one she chose to father her children! And the guys do it all the time with their ex's. Well, after all these years, I'm fed up with it. People need to make better choices and live with the consequences of their choices...And, this other person is the father/mother of their children. It isn't the kids' fault the parent made a lousy choice of procreating partner for their child(ren) and it serves no useful purpose coming in here and trashing the other parent, especially as we were reminded of lately--these kids grow up and use usenet. They're going to have access to all this crap someday. We're not operating in a vacuum here. As for me, my ex wasn't/isn't perfect just as I am not perfect. But, I have never regreted having his children (1 adopted and 1 bio) and no matter what happened between he and I, he loved/loves those boys as much as I and I will always respect him for that. He's not a creep. If he were, I wouldn't have married him let alone had children with him. My god, chosing a parent for one's children is the most important choice we make in life and we damn well better have it right or make the best of it when we don't. |
#7
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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
On May 12, 12:13 am, "Gini" wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote "Gini"wrote wrote Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12 in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the time, that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days before she told me! What kind of person could do something like that? == The kind of person you'd choose to marry and have children with? How can a husband predict his wife will become a person from a different planet 10-15 years after their marriage? How are men supposed to know before marriage their brides will feel unfulfilled emotionally, in need of a change, want to find themselves, believe they not having their needs met, or feeling like they are growing apart 10-15 years later? == Not sure. But, I am disturbed by the number of folks who show up here obsessing about the "abusive ex," "the glass-throwing drug addicted slut" etc whom they chose to marry and procreate with. Look how Moon (who has recently disappeared, by the way) has presented her ex as an abuser, child neglector, deadbeat, etc when he's the one she chose to father her children! And the guys do it all the time with their ex's. Well, after all these years, I'm fed up with it. People need to make better choices and live with the consequences of their choices...And, this other person is the father/mother of their children. It isn't the kids' fault the parent made a lousy choice of procreating partner for their child(ren) and it serves no useful purpose coming in here and trashing the other parent, especially as we were reminded of lately--these kids grow up and use usenet. They're going to have access to all this crap someday. We're not operating in a vacuum here. As for me, my ex wasn't/isn't perfect just as I am not perfect. But, I have never regreted having his children (1 adopted and 1 bio) and no matter what happened between he and I, he loved/loves those boys as much as I and I will always respect him for that. He's not a creep. If he were, I wouldn't have married him let alone had children with him. My god, chosing a parent for one's children is the most important choice we make in life and we damn well better have it right or make the best of it when we don't.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Just to clarify something from my initial post: My ex also asked my daughter not to tell me anything at the time. She (my daughter) told me that last week.I don't know how it came to the conversation since I avoid the subject as much as possible. I also don't see how could I expect the mother of my children to act the way she did. I need to exchange with people who could understand my situation and even give me some advice. |
#8
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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
wrote in message ups.com... On May 12, 12:13 am, "Gini" wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Gini"wrote wrote Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12 in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the time, that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days before she told me! What kind of person could do something like that? == The kind of person you'd choose to marry and have children with? How can a husband predict his wife will become a person from a different planet 10-15 years after their marriage? How are men supposed to know before marriage their brides will feel unfulfilled emotionally, in need of a change, want to find themselves, believe they not having their needs met, or feeling like they are growing apart 10-15 years later? == Not sure. But, I am disturbed by the number of folks who show up here obsessing about the "abusive ex," "the glass-throwing drug addicted slut" etc whom they chose to marry and procreate with. Look how Moon (who has recently disappeared, by the way) has presented her ex as an abuser, child neglector, deadbeat, etc when he's the one she chose to father her children! And the guys do it all the time with their ex's. Well, after all these years, I'm fed up with it. People need to make better choices and live with the consequences of their choices...And, this other person is the father/mother of their children. It isn't the kids' fault the parent made a lousy choice of procreating partner for their child(ren) and it serves no useful purpose coming in here and trashing the other parent, especially as we were reminded of lately--these kids grow up and use usenet. They're going to have access to all this crap someday. We're not operating in a vacuum here. As for me, my ex wasn't/isn't perfect just as I am not perfect. But, I have never regreted having his children (1 adopted and 1 bio) and no matter what happened between he and I, he loved/loves those boys as much as I and I will always respect him for that. He's not a creep. If he were, I wouldn't have married him let alone had children with him. My god, chosing a parent for one's children is the most important choice we make in life and we damn well better have it right or make the best of it when we don't.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Just to clarify something from my initial post: My ex also asked my daughter not to tell me anything at the time. She (my daughter) told me that last week.I don't know how it came to the conversation since I avoid the subject as much as possible. I also don't see how could I expect the mother of my children to act the way she did. I need to exchange with people who could understand my situation and even give me some advice. == Advice about what--exactly? |
#9
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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
On May 12, 12:41 am, "Gini" wrote:
wrote in message ups.com... On May 12, 12:13 am, "Gini" wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Gini"wrote wrote Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12 in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the time, that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days before she told me! What kind of person could do something like that? == The kind of person you'd choose to marry and have children with? How can a husband predict his wife will become a person from a different planet 10-15 years after their marriage? How are men supposed to know before marriage their brides will feel unfulfilled emotionally, in need of a change, want to find themselves, believe they not having their needs met, or feeling like they are growing apart 10-15 years later? == Not sure. But, I am disturbed by the number of folks who show up here obsessing about the "abusive ex," "the glass-throwing drug addicted slut" etc whom they chose to marry and procreate with. Look how Moon (who has recently disappeared, by the way) has presented her ex as an abuser, child neglector, deadbeat, etc when he's the one she chose to father her children! And the guys do it all the time with their ex's. Well, after all these years, I'm fed up with it. People need to make better choices and live with the consequences of their choices...And, this other person is the father/mother of their children. It isn't the kids' fault the parent made a lousy choice of procreating partner for their child(ren) and it serves no useful purpose coming in here and trashing the other parent, especially as we were reminded of lately--these kids grow up and use usenet. They're going to have access to all this crap someday. We're not operating in a vacuum here. As for me, my ex wasn't/isn't perfect just as I am not perfect. But, I have never regreted having his children (1 adopted and 1 bio) and no matter what happened between he and I, he loved/loves those boys as much as I and I will always respect him for that. He's not a creep. If he were, I wouldn't have married him let alone had children with him. My god, chosing a parent for one's children is the most important choice we make in life and we damn well better have it right or make the best of it when we don't.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Just to clarify something from my initial post: My ex also asked my daughter not to tell me anything at the time. She (my daughter) told me that last week.I don't know how it came to the conversation since I avoid the subject as much as possible. I also don't see how could I expect the mother of my children to act the way she did. I need to exchange with people who could understand my situation and even give me some advice. == Advice about what--exactly? - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - I'm interested to know how others would deal with situation like the one I describe. |
#10
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She told my 12 yrs old daughter first
wrote in message ups.com... On May 12, 12:13 am, "Gini" wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Gini"wrote wrote Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12 in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the time, that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days before she told me! What kind of person could do something like that? == The kind of person you'd choose to marry and have children with? How can a husband predict his wife will become a person from a different planet 10-15 years after their marriage? How are men supposed to know before marriage their brides will feel unfulfilled emotionally, in need of a change, want to find themselves, believe they not having their needs met, or feeling like they are growing apart 10-15 years later? == Not sure. But, I am disturbed by the number of folks who show up here obsessing about the "abusive ex," "the glass-throwing drug addicted slut" etc whom they chose to marry and procreate with. Look how Moon (who has recently disappeared, by the way) has presented her ex as an abuser, child neglector, deadbeat, etc when he's the one she chose to father her children! And the guys do it all the time with their ex's. Well, after all these years, I'm fed up with it. People need to make better choices and live with the consequences of their choices...And, this other person is the father/mother of their children. It isn't the kids' fault the parent made a lousy choice of procreating partner for their child(ren) and it serves no useful purpose coming in here and trashing the other parent, especially as we were reminded of lately--these kids grow up and use usenet. They're going to have access to all this crap someday. We're not operating in a vacuum here. As for me, my ex wasn't/isn't perfect just as I am not perfect. But, I have never regreted having his children (1 adopted and 1 bio) and no matter what happened between he and I, he loved/loves those boys as much as I and I will always respect him for that. He's not a creep. If he were, I wouldn't have married him let alone had children with him. My god, chosing a parent for one's children is the most important choice we make in life and we damn well better have it right or make the best of it when we don't.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Just to clarify something from my initial post: My ex also asked my daughter not to tell me anything at the time. She (my daughter) told me that last week.I don't know how it came to the conversation since I avoid the subject as much as possible. I also don't see how could I expect the mother of my children to act the way she did. I need to exchange with people who could understand my situation and even give me some advice. Daughters are the first to communicate to their dads they got screwed over. Daughters understand the games played by their mothers and are willing to come forward with the truth. My daughter, who is an adult now, has volunteered she observed the divorce situation and how her mother portrayed it, and me, for many years and then has come forward to disclose lots of details contrary to how they were presented to me. The basic problem you have described is how mothers treat their daughters as their best friends to confide in them about the intimate details of relationships. What those moms don't realize is how much the daughters care for their dads and how they are negatively affected by the backstream games. Your daughter has to be very mature to come forward at just 14 years of age to give you details to help you protect yourself emotionally from all the games. |
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