what should a parent expect

I have a seven year old who had taken a book out of the library. It
was on the human body, one of the pictures it contained was of a baby
suckling. He showed it to two of his friends on the bus all three
decided that it was yucky and gross. My son said to one of his friends
that it would be gross if she tried to suck the other boys chest. Now
i know that it was inappropriate for him to suggest that.
unfortunately the little girl tried . The other boy was not impressed
and told everyone on the bus what my son had said. Not really sure if
i over reacted. Told my son he was wrong sent to bed early grounded
off the bus TV and video games for a week and must play by himself at
recess for a week. I think i might have gone overboard, this is a
small community we live in and such an inappropriate remark could be
communicated to tons of people and my son may be ostracized. any
thoughts on this

"apple" wrote in message
oups.com...
I have a seven year old who had taken a book out of the library. It
was on the human body, one of the pictures it contained was of a baby
suckling. He showed it to two of his friends on the bus all three
decided that it was yucky and gross. My son said to one of his friends
that it would be gross if she tried to suck the other boys chest.

I think that is an accurate assessment.

Now
i know that it was inappropriate for him to suggest that.
unfortunately the little girl tried . The other boy was not impressed
and told everyone on the bus what my son had said. Not really sure if
i over reacted.

It depends. Did you have a discussion with your son that he should not be
interested in exploring his body? That he shouldn't be interested in how his
body works?

While I agree that this is inappropriate, what information did you provide
to your son that this sort of behavior would be inappropriate?

It seems to me that this is a normal expression of his interest in his body.

Told my son he was wrong sent to bed early grounded
off the bus TV and video games for a week and must play by himself at
recess for a week. I think i might have gone overboard, this is a
small community we live in and such an inappropriate remark could be
communicated to tons of people and my son may be ostracized. any
thoughts on this

This sort of comment and activity seems rather innocent to me. It didn't fit
your expectations of his behavior, but seems to me to be absolutely normal
exploration of his body.

I think a discussion of why this was inappropriate is what is needed.

Unless you had a discussion in the recent past on which he could guide his
behavior, I don't see why he should be punished for what is essentially
normal 7-year old behavior. In addition, this behavior is basically
harmless.

Jeff

In article .com,
"apple" wrote:

I have a seven year old who had taken a book out of the library. It
was on the human body, one of the pictures it contained was of a baby
suckling. He showed it to two of his friends on the bus all three
decided that it was yucky and gross. My son said to one of his friends
that it would be gross if she tried to suck the other boys chest. Now
i know that it was inappropriate for him to suggest that.
unfortunately the little girl tried . The other boy was not impressed
and told everyone on the bus what my son had said. Not really sure if
i over reacted. Told my son he was wrong sent to bed early grounded
off the bus TV and video games for a week and must play by himself at
recess for a week. I think i might have gone overboard, this is a
small community we live in and such an inappropriate remark could be
communicated to tons of people and my son may be ostracized. any
thoughts on this


I find it kind of astonishing that a 7 yo wouldn't already know how many
babies get fed. But I suppose if they were never around nursing babies,
and you had never discussed it with him, he'd have no reason to know.

If it were me, I'd get a good book about bodies, and make sure he knows
the other stuff he should know at this age. One I'd recommend is called
"It's So Amazing", and is designed for kids this age.

His sexuality education should have already started, and some of what
happened happened because the kids don't have accurate information of
the sort that they SHOULD have. A decent sexuality education includes
knowledge about what kind of touch is and is not appropriate.

Personally, I think you did overreact -- all he did was make a comment
about something that he thought would be gross. It doesn't sound like
he suggested she actually DO it.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

"apple" wrote in message
oups.com...
.. any
thoughts on this


Yes. You are a troll.

dragonlady wrote:
Personally, I think you did overreact -- all he did was make a comment
about something that he thought would be gross. It doesn't sound like
he suggested she actually DO it.


The way I read the OP, it did sound like he suggested she actually do
it. As in, egged her on to do it.

I agree the child needs to have some education about his body, but at
the same time, I am sensing there was something else going on with
these kids. A form of teasing through daring? I.e., "I dare you to suck
his chest." If so, the two issues need to be separated out, IMO.

How much of it was "Hmm, I wonder if you can get milk out of a boy's
nipple too" versus just plain devilish "if I can get Susie to suckle
Johnny, then both will look like fools." If it was my kid, that's what
I would want to figure out, and it would start with communicating
first. Discipline may follow, depending on what I discovered. But not
before some more questioning.

jen

"apple" wrote in message
oups.com...
I have a seven year old who had taken a book out of the library. It
was on the human body, one of the pictures it contained was of a baby
suckling. He showed it to two of his friends on the bus all three
decided that it was yucky and gross. My son said to one of his friends
that it would be gross if she tried to suck the other boys chest. Now
i know that it was inappropriate for him to suggest that.
unfortunately the little girl tried . The other boy was not impressed
and told everyone on the bus what my son had said. Not really sure if
i over reacted. Told my son he was wrong sent to bed early grounded
off the bus TV and video games for a week and must play by himself at
recess for a week. I think i might have gone overboard, this is a
small community we live in and such an inappropriate remark could be
communicated to tons of people and my son may be ostracized. any
thoughts on this


You (assuming you are not a troll) owe your son a huge apology, and to
rescind all punishments you have inflicted on him.
You need to read the book he checked out, go over it with him, and explain
to him what's going on. Babies nurse from their mothers.

How did you find out about this situation, anyway? It all sounds very fishy
to me . It's horrible of you to punish your child because of hearsay, and
it's horrible of you to punish him because of something he admitted doing,
that in his mind, was not wrong because he'd never been exposed to the
situation, or told that it was wrong.

I'd also like to know how the OP would enforce her punishments. He's
grounded off the bus, so she'd have to drive him to school? He has to play
alone at recess, is she the lunch recess monitor or she's going to drive
over to the school and make sure he plays alone at recess? Blargh.

I think this is a troll, at least I hope so, because the thought of actual
parents treating their children in this manner makes me feel ill ,and I
despair for the helpless children ("seven year olds", of which I have one)
that are being subjected to such treatment.

In .com,
apple wrote:

*I have a seven year old who had taken a book out of the library. It
*was on the human body, one of the pictures it contained was of a baby
*suckling. He showed it to two of his friends on the bus all three
*decided that it was yucky and gross. My son said to one of his friends
*that it would be gross if she tried to suck the other boys chest. Now
*i know that it was inappropriate for him to suggest that.
*unfortunately the little girl tried . The other boy was not impressed
*and told everyone on the bus what my son had said. Not really sure if
*i over reacted. Told my son he was wrong sent to bed early grounded
*off the bus TV and video games for a week and must play by himself at
*recess for a week. I think i might have gone overboard, this is a
*small community we live in and such an inappropriate remark could be
*communicated to tons of people and my son may be ostracized. any
*thoughts on this

well, I would just use it as a teaching opportunity! I would probably
apologize to my son for not having explained this already, and then gone
on to explain:

-mammals feed their young with their breasts/udders
-people's mammary glands are in their breasts
-breastfeeding is normal and healthful for mother and baby
-lots of animals feed this way, not just people
-cow's milk comes from cow "breasts" aka udders

I would show pictures of different animals nursing their young, especially
other primates.

Of course, my kids see breastfeeding all the time and know about it from
an early age so this is just conjecture, or what I imagine I would do if
it suddenly came up...

Oh, and definitely I would explain that it was not appropriate to have any
kind of nipple-sucking going on between the kids.

Good luck.

--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx

Hi
I appreciate your opinion. I must state clearly I am not a troll. I
love my son very much and I do not abuse him. I admit I did over
react. He is well aware of his body parts real names and all. He is
also very aware that breast feeding is normal and natural. I Think I
wasn't very clear on my first posting, what I was upset about was his
egging on the girl to say and do things that were inappropriate. He
is a good child and I did apologize to him and stopped some of the
punishment ie tv, video games and recess. Sometimes in the heat of the
moment you make silly decisions and I admit it. I was looking here for
some help not name calling which is something I discourage my youngest
from ever doing.