Moving out of state and sharing child custody

On Feb 25, 10:47 am, "Chris" wrote:
"eric" wrote in message
First of all, I don't want to take a child from her father if the
father really cares about the child. From my posting, does the person
sound like a very good father? I did mention about him not taking any
responsibility earlier in raising the child and now that he doesn't
want to pay for child support, he has been sharing the custody. From
what I hear, he does not treat the child well and so even the child
does not like being with him any more.

I didn't like my father either. At times, I even despised him. But THANK GOD
some scumbag didn't force him away from me!

I can go on with it and try to
prove that he is not a good father, but that's not the point here
(Ideally I would like the child to be with her mother even if the
latter is not marrying me and moving to Texas, and that's only for the
child's good).

Something tells me that you don't want the child to be with the father. Am I
wrong?

Yes. I have nothing against the child's father, but it just seems to
me that he wasn't up to his responsibility as a father. He wasn't
there for more than first two years after the child's birth. Then he
came back probably to settle score with the mother of the child and/or
pressure from his family, and claimed custody. During those two years,
the mother was all by herself with the child, without a stable job
trying to make ends meet. Anyway, I want to restate that I am not
planning on a scheme to take a child away from her father, but just
trying to find a way in which we all can be happy.

wrote
.......................


He was doing like I did and waiting til the child was diaper trained
before he
wanted visitation.
==
"Diaper trained?" How does that work?

"Gini" wrote:
[ID Protected] wrote:
... waiting til the child was diaper trained...
==
"Diaper trained?" How does that work?

ROFLMAO. Pray tell.
I'd think it wouldn't take too long. :-),

"eric" wrote
............................

Yes. I have nothing against the child's father, but it just seems to
me that he wasn't up to his responsibility as a father. He wasn't
there for more than first two years after the child's birth. Then he
came back probably to settle score with the mother of the child and/or
pressure from his family, and claimed custody. During those two years,
the mother was all by herself with the child, without a stable job
trying to make ends meet. Anyway, I want to restate that I am not
planning on a scheme to take a child away from her father, but just
trying to find a way in which we all can be happy.
==
Good intentions, perhaps--but, their relationship is still none of your
business.
His parenting style is not for you to judge any more than he should judge
your parenting style
with your own children when/if they come along. If you really want a way for
all to be happy,
you will all have to talk it over--like adults. Without judgments.

"Rog'" wrote
"Gini" wrote:
[ID Protected] wrote:
... waiting til the child was diaper trained...
==
"Diaper trained?" How does that work?

ROFLMAO. Pray tell.
I'd think it wouldn't take too long. :-),
==
I must be special. I had four boys and never had to diaper train any of
them.

Relayer wrote:
On Feb 25, 9:01?am, Daisy wrote:


What kind of relationship do you have with the little girl?

Daisy- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -



Has no bearing what so ever.

I think it does, if the biological father doesn't give a damn, then the
relationship between the girl and the other man has alot to do with it.

Daisy

Daisy wrote:
Relayer wrote:
On Feb 25, 9:01?am, Daisy wrote:

What kind of relationship do you have with the little girl?

Daisy- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Has no bearing what so ever.

I think it does, if the biological father doesn't give a damn, then the
relationship between the girl and the other man has alot to do with it.

Daisy

And if the biological father doesn't give a damn, he (the dip**** bio dad)
should be terminated. He doesn't deserve to live.

Um, how about if you wait until you can move back to California before you
marry the lady? Or do you consider being a father so unimportant that you
feel the child can do without her father? Or perhaps you feel that YOU
would be better for the child than he is (all you need from him is money)?
And when your lady gets tired of you, will you be ok with her marrying
someone else and moving YOUR children to another state, and demanding child
support from you?


"eric" wrote in message
oups.com...
Hello,

I need some advice on the following situation. I want to marry a girl
who is divorced and has a 4 year old daughter. She has shared custody
of the child with her ex-husband. They both live in California not
very far from each other, so according to the court order, the child
spends half of the week with her mother and the rest with her father.
Now, I used to live close to the girl but recently moved out of state
to Texas on a new job and cannot move back in the next few years. I
want to marry her and want her to move to Texas, but at the same time
don't want her to lose custody of her child. She raised the child
entirely by herself and it has only been recently that her ex-husband
has been sharing custody, most probably to avoid paying for child
support. What can we do in such a situation so that she can move to
Texas but still have either partial or full custody of her child?

Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

On Feb 25, 6:37?pm, Daisy wrote:


I think it does, if the biological father doesn't give a damn, then the
relationship between the girl and the other man has alot to do with it.

Daisy


He doesnt say that at all. He says the woman and guy share equal time
as far as custody. Sounds like an involved father who gives a damn to
me.

I didn't read anything about him being a bad father. Does he beat the
child? Starve her? Have you called CPS and reported the abuses? Are you
documenting any of the bad things he is doing in preparation to take him to
court and sue for full custody? Surely you are doing more than looking for
a way to wrest the child from her father on a newsgroup--something using the
legal means at your disposal. Have you considered asking this father that
you feel does not care for his daughter if he is willing to give up his
parental rights and let YOU adopt her and take over ALL legal responsibility
for her, including supporting her financially? Or is the child support you
would receive an important consideration?

"eric" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Feb 24, 8:26 pm, "Relayer" wrote:
On Feb 24, 8:11?pm, "Gini" wrote:
have either partial or full custody of her child?



==
So...you want to take the child away from her dad and make him pay for
it to
boot via CS.
Wonderful. Hopefully, the mother will recognize the importance of the
child's relationship
with her dad and tell you to get lost. Then again, you could accept the
responsibility of transporting the
child back to her dad's every few days for his share of the parenting.
Oh,
oh--How about this--Dad gets full custody and mom
pays CS. How's that?

Seems reasonable to me.

Listen Romeo, just because you love this woman, you want to take a
child from her father? Doesn't work that way.

Thanks both of you for your very helpful responses

First of all, I don't want to take a child from her father if the
father really cares about the child. From my posting, does the person
sound like a very good father? I did mention about him not taking any
responsibility earlier in raising the child and now that he doesn't
want to pay for child support, he has been sharing the custody. From
what I hear, he does not treat the child well and so even the child
does not like being with him any more. I can go on with it and try to
prove that he is not a good father, but that's not the point here
(Ideally I would like the child to be with her mother even if the
latter is not marrying me and moving to Texas, and that's only for the
child's good). I will appreciate any advice that tries to address my
situation. Thanks again.