Inappropriate Teacher's Dress

Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Ah, but apparently you do not value anyone else's
interpretation of what "being kind" means if it does not
conform to your own. Therein lies the rub. Part of being
in the world means negotiating meaning so that communication
can take place.

Best wishes,
Ericka

If your definition of "being kind" includes the clothing one chooses to
wear, I feel really, really sorry for you. Seriously.

-L.

Rosalie B. wrote:
-L. wrote:
Stephanie wrote:

And I am particularly irritated by Miss Manners types.

There is only one Miss Manners. There is no Miss Manners type.

I think what she means are people who are overly concerned with what
others think about them - and overly concerned about what they think
about others!


Miss
Manners does not believe in being irritating - only polite. So anyone
who chastises someone else for not being polite is NOT following Miss
Manners.

True.


Amen. I believe the value in Miss Manners is only as it relates to
being kind to others. I could give a rat's patootie about "societal
norms" (whatever that is), and that sort of "conform or you will be
assimilated" mentality. It's Stepford-wife-ish.

Miss Manners doesn't do kind either. She wants to be polite as
opposed to rude. Polite is not necessarily kind.

You're right.

-L.

enigma wrote:

Ericka Kammerer wrote in
:

enigma wrote:

out of curiousity, have you ever dealt with autistic
people?

How is this relevant? (I have, for whatever it's
worth.)

because there are too many arbitrary social rules, with
equally many exceptions...

When you say "arbitrary" you're implying that they
exist for no reason. They do, in fact, exist for a reason.
Sure, they're complicated. Life is complicated.

Best wishes,
Ericka

-L. wrote:


Ericka Kammerer wrote:

Ah, but apparently you do not value anyone else's
interpretation of what "being kind" means if it does not
conform to your own. Therein lies the rub. Part of being
in the world means negotiating meaning so that communication
can take place.


If your definition of "being kind" includes the clothing one chooses to
wear, I feel really, really sorry for you. Seriously.

I'm not particularly in need of your pity. I find that
when choose to wear clothing that is respectful of the people
and institutions I interact with, nothing but good comes of it.

Best wishes,
Ericka

-L. wrote:

If your definition of "being kind" includes the clothing one chooses to
wear, I feel really, really sorry for you. Seriously.

Do you think it'd be kind to show up at the funeral service for a
friend's father wearing a Hawaiian shirt and trunks? Or at an average
American wedding? Is it kind to invite others to a casual dinner at
your home, and then wear formalwear yourself? Would it be kind to
attend an important event with your child and your child's peers,
wearing anything floridly eccentric?

I'm not Ericka, but yes, I think it's kind (and an essential part of
living in a society) to take minor pains to keep people from feeling
offended/deeply uncomfortable. It's pretty much for the same reason
that I prefer to say, "Excuse me, may I go through?" when I need to get
past someone, instead of, "Move your ass, you're blocking my way."

Personally, I think the tough or borderline cases are those where two
deeply held beliefs about the symbolism of clothing clash. If the
'floridly eccentric' garment that your child would rather not see you
wear is in fact an article of religious faith, the child will probably
have to learn to cope. It's certainly true that in many cases the
individual violating the expectations of others has a good reason. But
to do it gratuitously, because one simply refuses to take into account
that others do notice clothing and may feel slighted, uncomfortable or
offended - yes, that's unkind.

Beth

Beth

Ericka Kammerer wrote:

Banty wrote:


OK, I'm still clueless. I've been clicking around the site, and havne't
seen
the gradated tie-die or whatever. Can someone do a link (or guide me a
few clicks) as to where this stuff is on that site?

I'm guessing maybe this is the one?

http://order.next.co.uk/page.asp?b=X35&p=20&o=1

Yes, that's dip-dyed. If you use the search box and search on tie-dye,
then you get lots of other items.

FWIW, Next is a mid-range shop in the UK, the kind of place you find on most
high streets. If I'd been sloping round the garden all day, and was getting
changed to go to a parent's evening at school, I might well pull on some
clothing from next, such as this combination:
http://search.next.co.uk/search?p=Q&...%2B961-778-G39

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

Donna wrote:
[snip]
Clearly we're from something approaching the same era. What you give as
an
example is what "tie-dye" instinctively means to me, too. Obvously I
wouldn't consider that appropriate for an important meeting, much less an
educational one, for sloppiness and for the subtle drug associations it
has
for many of us. The concept of "smart tie dye" is entirely new to
me.
waves to Penny Gaines Pretty isn't it?

Oh yes, some of them are really lovely. I'm old enough to be aware of the
hippy connection, but young enough to have missed out on hippy culture.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

wrote in message
oups.com...


-L. wrote:

If your definition of "being kind" includes the clothing one chooses to
wear, I feel really, really sorry for you. Seriously.

Do you think it'd be kind to show up at the funeral service for a
friend's father wearing a Hawaiian shirt and trunks? Or at an average
American wedding?


I'm not L, but I will answer this one. No, it is not kind. Nor is it kind to
make judgements about people who may not agree with or clued in to what *I*
think is kind.

Is it kind to invite others to a casual dinner at
your home, and then wear formalwear yourself? Would it be kind to
attend an important event with your child and your child's peers,
wearing anything floridly eccentric?

I'm not Ericka, but yes, I think it's kind (and an essential part of
living in a society) to take minor pains to keep people from feeling
offended/deeply uncomfortable. It's pretty much for the same reason
that I prefer to say, "Excuse me, may I go through?" when I need to get
past someone, instead of, "Move your ass, you're blocking my way."

Personally, I think the tough or borderline cases are those where two
deeply held beliefs about the symbolism of clothing clash. If the
'floridly eccentric' garment that your child would rather not see you
wear is in fact an article of religious faith, the child will probably
have to learn to cope. It's certainly true that in many cases the
individual violating the expectations of others has a good reason. But
to do it gratuitously, because one simply refuses to take into account
that others do notice clothing and may feel slighted, uncomfortable or
offended - yes, that's unkind.

Beth

Beth

wrote:

It's certainly true that in many cases the
individual violating the expectations of others has a good reason.
But to do it gratuitously, because one simply refuses to take into
account that others do notice clothing and may feel slighted,
uncomfortable or offended - yes, that's unkind.

And that is the rub really. I'm assuming Ms. low riding mini-skirt and
revealing belly shirt also has a pair of pants or mid thigh shorts in her
closet along with at least a couple shirts that meet the top of her pants.
She rummaged through her closet and decided that among the options, she'd
wear a mini-skirt and belly shirt to work.

I'll admit that her choice of clothing does not have any bearing on how
talented she is as a pre-school teacher. Perhaps she is the best. That
choice does communicate something however. She chose it over other items.
To me she a) really has no idea about appropriate attire. I suppose that
could be because she is young and immature, lacks good judgement, has some
kind of disability, or comes from a significantly different point of
reference then I do. b) does know what is appropriate but chose this
anyway. That could be because she wants to be a rebel, wants to make a
statement, is not invested in the job, not organized enough to make sure her
work clothes are clean, or feels like a babe and sees no reason not to dress
like one ;-) c) it is appropriate and I'm in the wrong place. That would
lead back to having significantly different points of reference.


--
Nikki

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...



FWIW, Next is a mid-range shop in the UK, the kind of place you find on
most
high streets. If I'd been sloping round the garden all day, and was
getting
changed to go to a parent's evening at school, I might well pull on some
clothing from next, such as this combination:
http://search.next.co.uk/search?p=Q&...%2B961-778-G39

Lovely, and appropriate, I think. It would be in my community, anyway.

Donna