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#21
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ... Donna (who doesn't really, to be honest, see the point of a thread that seems to be entirely conceived as a way of saying "Let me flame everyone who doesn't agree with me") not fair! Is that a whistle I hear? I'd actually been thinking over the weekend that I might post something similar, I'm really interested in why people don't breastfeed and how that relates to our culture and upbringing, I might not have put it exactly like the first post in the thread, but I am very interested in the responses. I'm not against discussions. I'm against set ups. And I agree with you completely - how something is phrased means *everything* in USEnet. How would you have kicked off a potentially sensitive topic like this? Perhaps we can re-phrase the topic? Because right now it's "Let's talk about how selfish and stupid all those formula-feeders are." And I think that's awful. Donna |
#22
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ... Sometimes you have to be "selfish" I didn't breastfeed for long and I don't make excuses, I had a reason for giving up. I had PND with my babies and it was crucially important that my life was as easy as possible. I didn't find breastfeeding easy it really stressed me out. I was able to breastfeed and I have no hesitation in saying I made the right decision in giving up. sometimes i think I was too bloody minded about breastfeeding, I had very severe PND, I nearly died, maybe if I had stopped breastfeeding I wouldn't have got to that point, even after that I was still obsessed by breastfeeding, even though I had to pump and dump for a few days, I was sat in the hospital attached to a heart monitor and a breastpump. Now I'm on the way out the other side I'm really glad I'm still breastfeeding and think I probably was right to carry on, I think if I had started formula feeding when he was about 2 months old I would have cut myself up about it, which probably would have been worse than the stress, tiredness etc. When I finally made the decision to give up after three months of breastfeeding it was a huge relief. If you had given up breastfeeding and had cut yourself up about it then it would have been the wrong decision. So clearly you made the right one :-) I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad and disapointed at first when I stopped breastfeeding. But I felt so much better when I stopped that it knew that it was worth it and I had done the right thing. Just in case someone with PND is reading. I'm in no way advocating that all women with PND give up breastfeeding, I have read that in many cases it actually helps PND. I should also add that there are several anti-depressant choices that are considered safe for use while breastfeeding. In my case I was suicidal and having persistent thoughts of harming the baby. It was pretty crucial that we attacked the PND pretty quickly. Anne I'm glad you are happy with your decision and that your PND has lifted. Judy |
#23
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
DeliciousTruffles wrote in message ...
Shena Delian O'Brien wrote: DeliciousTruffles wrote: 2) The baby had colic I thought breastfeeding reduced colic. It does. But I still hear that excuse. Sigh. (And, Shena - Brigitte wasn't talking about herself - she bf twins for a year, and is currently bf'ing her baby.) Irene |
#24
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
How would you have kicked off a potentially sensitive topic like this?
Perhaps we can re-phrase the topic? Because right now it's "Let's talk about how selfish and stupid all those formula-feeders are." And I think that's awful. dunno, I hadn't got that far in my thoughts, was considering doing it as a poll, I am particularly interested in the reasons why people decide before the birth not to breastfeed. An opposite to that its there any reasons why people do breastfeed, are you more likely to be sucessful if you make a consious desicion to do it for at least a certain lenght of time etc. |
#25
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Re-phrasing - Poll: (was: reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding)
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ... dunno, I hadn't got that far in my thoughts, was considering doing it as a poll, I am particularly interested in the reasons why people decide before the birth not to breastfeed. I'm interested in that, as well. My neighbor wanted to nurse, and planned to nurse, but ended up switching to formula after about a week - I'm not sure of all of her reasons. One reason that she spoke about was that she didn't feel at all emotionally comfortable with the idea of nursing, or with the physical sensation - she tried to pump, and was able to do that for six or eight weeks, bless her heart, but it was kind of doomed to failure, I think. It's rare, I suspect, to have a successful experience when one is only using a pump, and not nursing. She seemed to have had a real aversion to the sensation, however. An opposite to that its there any reasons why people do breastfeed, are you more likely to be sucessful if you make a consious desicion to do it for at least a certain lenght of time etc. Well, I breastfed my daughter for a number of reasons - primarily the medical benefits that I read about, but also to burn calories (I got huge with my last pregnancy), to have the experience of it, and because everyone I was involved with during my gestation considered it to be the norm (sort of "Oh, well, when you start nursing..." rather than "*If* you nurse..."). I had originally planned to nurse for a year, but around 7-8 months, I just kind of started to wear out. DD was interested in solid foods, and was growing really well, and I was really tired of the depressed libido side-effect that I was having. My husband was tired of that, too. So we weaned at about that point. FWIW, I'm hoping that, like everything else in this pregnancy, the depressed-libido thing will not be as severe with my son. I'd like to try to nurse him for the full year. I'm shooting for it, anyway. Best wishes, Donna |
#26
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Re-phrasing - Poll: (was: reasons I've heard for notbreastfeeding)
My neighbor wanted to nurse, and planned to nurse, but ended up switching to
formula after about a week - I'm not sure of all of her reasons. One reason that she spoke about was that she didn't feel at all emotionally comfortable with the idea of nursing, or with the physical sensation - she tried to pump, and was able to do that for six or eight weeks, bless her heart, but it was kind of doomed to failure, I think. It's rare, I suspect, to have a successful experience when one is only using a pump, and not nursing. She seemed to have had a real aversion to the sensation, however. thanks for sharing this, in my mind this falls into a different category of unsucessful nursing. There are more mums than you think who manage to exclusively pump, often mums of premies, but also for other reasons, they are amazing people. Well, I breastfed my daughter for a number of reasons - primarily the medical benefits that I read about, but also to burn calories (I got huge with my last pregnancy), to have the experience of it, and because everyone I was involved with during my gestation considered it to be the norm (sort of "Oh, well, when you start nursing..." rather than "*If* you nurse..."). I had originally planned to nurse for a year, but around 7-8 months, I just kind of started to wear out. DD was interested in solid foods, and was growing really well, and I was really tired of the depressed libido side-effect that I was having. My husband was tired of that, too. So we weaned at about that point. again thanks for sharing, I committed myself to 1 year, mainly because before then it would have to be formula not cowsmilk that I gave him, I think what ever the recommened age was I would have made a committment to that age. Hopefully I'm better educated now, ds is 9 months and still nursing around 5 times a day, when he hits 1 I will gradually switch his day time feeds to cows milk, I hope he continues morning, bedtime and possibly naptime nursing for at least another year after that. |
#27
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
It's just so clearly better for the baby to nurse, as well as for the mom.
I lose my patience with people who "try" nursing for a week but then end up supplementing so they could sleep more or for some other reason that seems lame. Of course the medication issue is real and there are few medical situations that make it difficult, but in just about every other case, it's a matter of stick-to-it-iveness on the part of the parents. This is definitely true, and although I flunked breastfeeding 101 the first time around, I won't next time!! At least now I can pass on what I learned so that other folks don't make the same mistake. My advice to my pregnant friends is to nurse often, especially at the beginning. I think that was my biggest problem - I didn't realize how much I should nurse DS. The first week must be hard, but it pays off in the end. |
#28
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
"CY" wrote in message news:NPz0c.6640$Zp.1756@fed1read07...
The top 3 reasons I hear: 1) It's inconvenient (HELLO! What's inconvenient about a food that's always exactly the right temperature, always there, perfect in every way and GOOD for your child?) I plan to bf my baby for as long as possible, but I have to ask: are you hearing this one from SAHM's or working moms? I wonder because as I've thought through the process for pumping once I go back to work, I am afraid that it will be terribly inconvenient (I still plan to try, though...). Between the time it will take out of my day, to the fact that the only 2 rooms in the entire office that don't have uncovered windows (not windows to the outside, but windows into the office) are the 2, tiny, one-seater bathrooms that I'd have to wheel a chair into, to the fact that I'm only 1 of 2 women of childbearing age (and the only one who's planning to have children at all), I'm thinking that the whole pumping thing may be VERY awkward to do. And what if I have to work late and didn't have enough milk put away? And then there's the fear that I'll be sent on a business trip without much advanced notice (it doesn't happen frequently, but it does happen...usually we trip plans are figured out less than a week before we go)--what if I don't have enough time to pump sufficient milk before I go, or if I find it difficult to impossible to continue pumping during off-site meetings. Or, better yet, if I try to explain to my boss that I can't go on a trip and it ends up reflecting poorly on my review or I get passed over for a promotion for being unable to perform job duties. Or worse yet, I get fired for refusing an important trip....not likely but still a fear. Oh yeah, from what I've been reading, the better breast pumps for daily use run somewhere around $250-300. I guess compared to several months of formula, that might even out in the end. I do still have the fear that I'll pay for the expensive pump, and then end up having to wean the baby to formula anyway and will have wasted a lot of money that we don't really have to waste. My mom bf all of us. With my youngest sister (who's now 7), she bf for about a year while working full time. But mom's a nurse in the NICU, and had access at work to hospital pumps (plus worked in an environment exceedingly friendly to mothers). I don't have those advantages, and I'm worried about how well I'll be able to do for our children. *sigh* It's good to hear so much encouragement for women to bf, as I agree that it's absolutely the best thing possible for babies. I just wonder sometimes how well some bf-advocates really understand the fears and/or realities that many women face when it comes to the logistics of it all. Please consider that when you think you are hearing "whiney" excuses from other mothers. --Elit. #1 due 9/20/04 |
#29
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
Oh yeah, from what I've been reading, the better breast pumps for
daily use run somewhere around $250-300. I guess compared to several months of formula, that might even out in the end. I do still have the fear that I'll pay for the expensive pump, and then end up having to wean the baby to formula anyway and will have wasted a lot of money that we don't really have to waste. you don't have to wean the baby to formula, you can continue to breastfeed as much as you can without drying up. The Ameda Purely Yours is slightly cheaper and seems to be as good as the pumps in the range you suggest. It's certainly possible to continue to breastfeed and just use formula when you have to, a lot of mums do it, it might not be best, but it's certainly better than entirely formula and any amount of time you exclusively breastfeed for is fabulous, when will you be going back to work? There is a yahoo group pumpmoms which you might find very helpfull if you do end up pumping lots. *sigh* It's good to hear so much encouragement for women to bf, as I agree that it's absolutely the best thing possible for babies. I just wonder sometimes how well some bf-advocates really understand the fears and/or realities that many women face when it comes to the logistics of it all. Please consider that when you think you are hearing "whiney" excuses from other mothers. I think I do understand, breastfeeding is why I have taken over a year out from my phd, I realised I couldn't manage to pump and complete the study I needed, so I'm taking time out, it means it will be longer before we can have our next child (as I need to finish the phd) but that is a sacrifice worth making. |
#30
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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding
"New York Jen" wrote in message et...
Well, proper supply is rarely a *real* issue, people just don't think they have adequate supply because either the baby is nursing all the time (which they are supposed to) or because they are only able to pump small amounts (babies are MUCH more efficient suckers than even the best pump money can buy). It's just so clearly better for the baby to nurse, as well as for the mom. I lose my patience with people who "try" nursing for a week but then end up supplementing so they could sleep more or for some other reason that seems lame. Of course the medication issue is real and there are few medical situations that make it difficult, but in just about every other case, it's a matter of stick-to-it-iveness on the part of the parents. I have really mixed feelings about it personally. Because of all the time I've spent here, I have a bad knee-jerk reaction against people who are sure they don't have enough milk without even trying, or who poo-poo the medical evidence with the old anecdote defense, or who make comments about how icky it is. It's not icky, it is clearly better, and shrugging it off because other forms of feeding are so common just bugs me. OTOH, my own experience with breastfeeding was not so great. I know that the baby is 'supposed to' nurse all the time, but personally, I found that months on end of never getting more than a few hours sleep in a row was really, really, really unpleasant. We never figured out how to nurse lying down, and my son was (and is) a really light sleeper as am I, so co-sleeping didn't seem to work very well. He never slept very much at all as an infant, so there was never a period when I could catch up, and it really made it hard for me to enjoy him as much as he deserved. When I went back to work, I found that I wasn't a good pumper, so I was forced to supplement him with formula when we were apart. This just made me all the more determined to nurse him when we were together, so I was working during the day and nursing awake all night and sleeping never, it seemed like. I have to admit that if we have another child who was a similar non-sleeping constant nurser, I'd be tempted to do more supplementing than I did so that I could get the occasional night's sleep and feel more like a happy mom of a cute baby and not so much like roadkill. So I know that even for someone who truly believes that breastmilk is the best baby food and that breastfeeding is worth a lot of effort, other concerns may take precedence. I guess in the end that it seems reasonable to me to feel a bit of 'huh?' about people who just robotically buy the approved formula and plunk it in the baby's mouth, but not everybody who formula feeds falls into that category by any means. Beth |
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