If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Sometimes a Brat Is Just A Brat
Don't be one of those parents who lets your kid get like this!
http://tinyurl.com/8t5eo Sometimes A Brat Is Just A Brat Who Needs A Spank May 3, 2005 By LOENARD PITTS Put the handcuffs aside. We'll get back to them in a minute. Frankly, there's something else on that video that troubles me almost as much. And if you're saying to yourself, "What video?" well ... welcome home. How are things in the rainforest? Here in the States, everybody's talking about a much-televised video - shot in March but made public last week - of a 5-year-old in St. Petersburg, Fla., being taken into custody by police officers after throwing a tantrum at school. Ja'eisha Scott cries out as her arms are pinioned behind her. As I said, we'll get to that. For now, let's talk about what the half-hour video shows in the moments before police arrive. I've seen temper tantrums before - I've got five kids - but this one was different. Not because the child seemed out of control but, rather, because she seemed so very much in control. This wasn't stomping and shouting and throwing a fit. This was walking over to a shelf and sweeping items off it. Walking to a wall and snatching photos down. Walking across the room to pick things up and break them. Walking back and forth, in no apparent hurry, methodically wrecking the room with the calm deliberateness of someone who knows you can't do a thing to stop her. And then punching at the hapless administrator who kept telling her this behavior was "unacceptable." Beg pardon, but am I the only benighted member of the old school who wanted to spank that child's backside? Not "beat." Not "abuse." But spank? Definitely. Granted, I don't know anything about this girl. Maybe she has emotional problems. Maybe she's been mistreated. Maybe there are mitigating factors. In which case, I'll be the first to admit I'm wrong. But assuming I'm not, assuming Ja'eisha is what she appears - a brat in a snit - you have to ask yourself if anybody has ever laid down the law to her, said no and made it stick, socialized her. It's a job, I hasten to add, that begins not with schools, but with parents. Of course, no one seems to be doing the job these days, so tremulous are we about bruising fragile self-esteem. Small wonder we wind up in a place where adults are helpless before the furies of children. What happened in St. Pete is but the most widely publicized episode in what seems a mini-epidemic. Last year, a kindergartner in St. Louis was handcuffed for disruptive behavior. Last week, a 7-year-old in Bethlehem, W.Va., wound up wearing jailhouse bracelets for much the same reason. Can it be just coincidence that we're also seeing a not-so-mini epidemic of parents defending and rationalizing the misbehavior of their little terrors? I'm thinking of the parents in Kansas who harassed a teacher for flunking kids who cheated on a project. Of the mother in Greater Chicago who dismissed her daughter's part in a mob assault as something that just "got out of hand." Of the mother in New Orleans who blamed the school - school with security guards and metal detectors - after her son and another boy shot each other. And I'm thinking of Ja'eisha's mother, Inga Akins, saying on television that her daughter's misbehavior stemmed from the fact that she doesn't get along with "Miss D" - presumably assistant principal Nicole Dibenedetto, seen in the video deflecting the child's punches. Beg pardon again, but ... who cares? How does the fact that a 5-year-old doesn't like somebody justify her behaving like a hellion? Akins has a lawyer and he's talking lawsuit. Fine. The police overreacted. You don't handcuff 5-year-olds. But you shouldn't feel that you have to. So I hope mom doesn't do what we too often do when our kids misbehave these days: Make it not their fault. Tell them they are victims. Spare them the burden of onus. I hope that between media interviews, Akins is getting her child straight. Otherwise, I can promise you one thing: Someday, you'll see Ja'eisha in handcuffs again. Leonard Pitts Jr. is a syndicated columnist in Washington. |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
On Tue, 03 May 2005 19:11:04 GMT, "Kent"
wrote: http://tinyurl.com/8t5eo Link to the video clip. http://www.sptimesphotos.com/video/office.html It certainly does not seem that the child needed to be handcuffed and arrested by police. Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get the child until she got off work so the school personel were in a situation where they would have had to have a principal or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until that time. I wonder about the emergency contacts and why they could not retrieve the child. It seems that she needed to be picked up at the earliest time possible and when mom is not available, every school I ever worked in had other people to call as backup to pick her up. Link to a more detailed story about the incident itself he http://www.sptimes.com/2005/04/22/So...olice_ha.shtml Archived article he http://snipurl.com/endu -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
On Tue, 03 May 2005 22:14:31 -0500, toto
wrote: On Tue, 03 May 2005 19:11:04 GMT, "Kent" wrote: http://tinyurl.com/8t5eo Kent is a reg in the childfree group, so I'd bet the author of that article is probably CF as well. Link to the video clip. http://www.sptimesphotos.com/video/office.html It certainly does not seem that the child needed to be handcuffed and arrested by police. Agreed. However, the principal was ineffective in her approach. When I worked at the women's shelter, a child that behaved like that would have been restrained by staff in what we called a "basket hold". It was very effective in getting the child to calm down. Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get the child until she got off work so the school personel were in a situation where they would have had to have a principal or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until that time. I'll play devil's advocate and say I wouldn't want to be in the position of having to monitor the child for possibly an entire day just because the mother couldn't be bothered to come get her. I wouldn't have called the police, but I may have referred the situation to DFS or a similar agency. I wonder about the emergency contacts and why they could not retrieve the child. It seems that she needed to be picked up at the earliest time possible and when mom is not available, every school I ever worked in had other people to call as backup to pick her up. Link to a more detailed story about the incident itself he http://www.sptimes.com/2005/04/22/So...olice_ha.shtml Archived article he http://snipurl.com/endu Nan |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
In article ,
Nan wrote: Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get the child until she got off work so the school personel were in a situation where they would have had to have a principal or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until that time. I'll play devil's advocate and say I wouldn't want to be in the position of having to monitor the child for possibly an entire day just because the mother couldn't be bothered to come get her. That's kind of harsh. You don't know the mother's position. She may have been in a position that she would get fired if she left her post, or where she was the only clerk on duty in a store and couldn't leave until the next person came in. She may not have had transportation until her shift ended. There are lots of people who cannot walk off their job without getting fired. She may have been called to the school frequently, and her boss said, "Once more and you're fired." "Couldn't be bothered" is uncalled for unless you know all of the circumstances. Apparenty, at least part of the problem was that, instead of campus police, who are trained specifically to work with out of control children, the city police were called. But you're right: I would not want to have to be responsible for a child who was trashing a room and hitting me for the rest of the day. -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
On Wed, 04 May 2005 04:02:18 GMT, dragonlady
wrote: In article , Nan wrote: Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get the child until she got off work so the school personel were in a situation where they would have had to have a principal or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until that time. I'll play devil's advocate and say I wouldn't want to be in the position of having to monitor the child for possibly an entire day just because the mother couldn't be bothered to come get her. That's kind of harsh. You don't know the mother's position. She may have been in a position that she would get fired if she left her post, or where she was the only clerk on duty in a store and couldn't leave until the next person came in. She may not have had transportation until her shift ended. There are lots of people who cannot walk off their job without getting fired. She may have been called to the school frequently, and her boss said, "Once more and you're fired." "Couldn't be bothered" is uncalled for unless you know all of the circumstances. True, and I don't know all of the circumstances. However, it is a parent's responsibility to make sure there is available transportation or supervision for their children. It's why the schools want emergency contact info. The problem lies in parents that have the mentality that the school is their free babysitter, and don't have alternative plans for exceptional circumstances. Apparenty, at least part of the problem was that, instead of campus police, who are trained specifically to work with out of control children, the city police were called. Elementary schools around here don't have campus police. But you're right: I would not want to have to be responsible for a child who was trashing a room and hitting me for the rest of the day. Nan |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
In article ,
Nan wrote: True, and I don't know all of the circumstances. However, it is a parent's responsibility to make sure there is available transportation or supervision for their children. It's why the schools want emergency contact info. The problem lies in parents that have the mentality that the school is their free babysitter, and don't have alternative plans for exceptional circumstances. I'm a little touchy on this one, having been called to school VERY often for a short period of time. It became a real problem for me. Ultimately, I quit one job so I could be more available for the child who was in trouble. (She's doing fine now -- but it was a pretty rough patch, and there WERE times when I had to tell the school they'd just have to wait for a bit.) Apparenty, at least part of the problem was that, instead of campus police, who are trained specifically to work with out of control children, the city police were called. Elementary schools around here don't have campus police. One of the articles specified that this school did, and that normally the campus police would have been called. I figure it must either be a K-12 campus, or a very large elementary school! But you're right: I would not want to have to be responsible for a child who was trashing a room and hitting me for the rest of the day. -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
On Wed, 04 May 2005 04:22:48 GMT, dragonlady
wrote: In article , Nan wrote: True, and I don't know all of the circumstances. However, it is a parent's responsibility to make sure there is available transportation or supervision for their children. It's why the schools want emergency contact info. The problem lies in parents that have the mentality that the school is their free babysitter, and don't have alternative plans for exceptional circumstances. I'm a little touchy on this one, having been called to school VERY often for a short period of time. It became a real problem for me. Ultimately, I quit one job so I could be more available for the child who was in trouble. (She's doing fine now -- but it was a pretty rough patch, and there WERE times when I had to tell the school they'd just have to wait for a bit.) You would have been a parent that most school admins understood, though. You tried your best. As you say, I have no idea what the mother's situation is, so I shouldn't pass judgment. Apparenty, at least part of the problem was that, instead of campus police, who are trained specifically to work with out of control children, the city police were called. Elementary schools around here don't have campus police. One of the articles specified that this school did, and that normally the campus police would have been called. I figure it must either be a K-12 campus, or a very large elementary school! Ah, I missed that part. Makes one wonder why the campus police weren't called, then. As well as a school social worker. Nan |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
On Wed, 04 May 2005 03:31:29 GMT, Nan wrote:
It certainly does not seem that the child needed to be handcuffed and arrested by police. Agreed. However, the principal was ineffective in her approach. When I worked at the women's shelter, a child that behaved like that would have been restrained by staff in what we called a "basket hold". It was very effective in getting the child to calm down. I agree and I wondered about that myself, but.... I would bet that the staff was not trained in this kind of technique and/or that there is some school rule or legal problem with using it on a regular ed student in a regular kindergarten classroom. I have used that hold on children in a daycare setting and it *is* much more effective and usually the children calm down and want to sit on their own and either talk it out or at least stop the mayhem. The problem is that if you are not properly trained on it, you can hurt a child when you attempt it and that may put the school in line for a lawsuit too. My suspicion is that the training educators were put through emphasized not touching the child. I also will say that with the fact that this incident and others in Pinellas County are being touted as racism since more black children are put in this situation than white children, the other problem involved would be having a white teacher restrain a black child. I would bet their would be an outcry against any teacher who did that hold with a child of another race. It can get pretty complicated. Unfortunately, the mother apparently would not come to get the child until she got off work so the school personel were in a situation where they would have had to have a principal or teacher or aide staying with her and monitoring her until that time. I'll play devil's advocate and say I wouldn't want to be in the position of having to monitor the child for possibly an entire day just because the mother couldn't be bothered to come get her. I wouldn't have called the police, but I may have referred the situation to DFS or a similar agency. I am not sure that dcfs will come and pick a child up from school whose mother *is* coming to get her at 3:15 pm which is what the tape said the mom was doing. I would not necessarily want to be in that situation as an emergency contact, but that *is* an option if the mother cannot come - usually the contacts are other relatives who are available during the day, though neighbors are also used on occasion. I wonder about the emergency contacts and why they could not retrieve the child. It seems that she needed to be picked up at the earliest time possible and when mom is not available, every school I ever worked in had other people to call as backup to pick her up. Link to a more detailed story about the incident itself he http://www.sptimes.com/2005/04/22/So...olice_ha.shtml Archived article he http://snipurl.com/endu -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
On Tue, 03 May 2005 23:38:24 -0500, toto
wrote: On Wed, 04 May 2005 03:31:29 GMT, Nan wrote: It certainly does not seem that the child needed to be handcuffed and arrested by police. Agreed. However, the principal was ineffective in her approach. When I worked at the women's shelter, a child that behaved like that would have been restrained by staff in what we called a "basket hold". It was very effective in getting the child to calm down. I agree and I wondered about that myself, but.... I would bet that the staff was not trained in this kind of technique and/or that there is some school rule or legal problem with using it on a regular ed student in a regular kindergarten classroom. I have used that hold on children in a daycare setting and it *is* much more effective and usually the children calm down and want to sit on their own and either talk it out or at least stop the mayhem. The problem is that if you are not properly trained on it, you can hurt a child when you attempt it and that may put the school in line for a lawsuit too. My suspicion is that the training educators were put through emphasized not touching the child. I also will say that with the fact that this incident and others in Pinellas County are being touted as racism since more black children are put in this situation than white children, the other problem involved would be having a white teacher restrain a black child. I would bet their would be an outcry against any teacher who did that hold with a child of another race. It can get pretty complicated. I thought of that, too. Perhaps our agency was a bit more protected since we served 'at risk' children, and we weren't a public agency. I am not sure that dcfs will come and pick a child up from school whose mother *is* coming to get her at 3:15 pm which is what the tape said the mom was doing. I really do wonder what she expected the school to do since she wasn't planning to collect the child until after school... I agree the handcuffing and arrest was over the top, given that the girl was already sitting quietly by the time they arrived. Nan |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
On Wed, 04 May 2005 04:33:05 GMT, Nan wrote:
Ah, I missed that part. Makes one wonder why the campus police weren't called, then. As well as a school social worker. They were called. There are only 12 of them in the district and they were unable to respond in a timely fashion so the city police were called. Nan -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Just a kid, or ungrateful brat? | H Schinske | General | 0 | July 11th 03 05:27 AM |