Male stereotypes take a beating

http://www.canada.com/topics/lifesty...0-f50f26241dc9

Men want to be seen as honourable, not as studs
Male stereotypes take a beating
Tom Spears , The Ottawa Citizen
Men's ideal of a "man's man" is a guy who's responsible, honourable and a
devoted partner, not one who's always on the prowl for sex or driven by his
career, an international study says.

The finding cuts across age groups and cultures from Germany to Brazil and
from Italy to the United States, say the Canadian-led researchers.

They conclude it's time to dump the stereotype of masculinity that centres
on shallow, me-first womanizing.

To understand men, "we should pay attention and ask, rather than presume we
know," said one of the researchers, Julia Heiman of the Kinsey Institute in
Bloomington, Indiana.

The survey of 27,839 men in eight countries found that being seen as
"honourable" was their highest ideal (picked by 33 per cent), followed
closely by being in control of their lives (28 per cent). Most claimed to
want love ahead of sex.

At the bottom of the scale, only one per cent rated a great sex life as the
top male quality, while three per cent chose financial success.

Views of maleness bog down in stereotypes, the team's leader, Canadian
Michael Sand, said.

He rejects the view that men are from Mars and women from Venus: "When you
actually go out and systematically collect data, you find men are from Bank
Street and women are from Laurier. They live around the corner," he said.

"Men routinely said that being in good health, having a good family life,
having a harmonious relationship with my wife or my partner is way more
important than ... a successful career, having a nice home, having a
satisfying sex life.

"Being seen as honourable -- I think men are telling us that how my
community views my integrity and my value system is important to me."

Men are also saying, "I want to be seen as a good father, a successful
partner, far more than I want to be seen as a stud," Mr. Sand said. "All of
these things point to the importance -- not in keeping with stereotypes --
of interpersonal relationships to men, as well as to women of course.

"Which shouldn't surprise us. If it were you and I just talking personally,
I think we'd take that as given."

His team's work began several years ago when Bayer Schering Pharma wanted to
design an erectile dysfunction drug. (Mr. Sand worked for Bayer, but now
works for another drug company and for the New England Research Institutes.)

To build a drug, the company wanted to understand men better -- "their
overall health, their well-being, their quality of life, their 'constructs'
of masculinity, as well as their sexual function." That led to the broad
survey, the findings of which conflict with pop culture.

In beer commercials, sitcoms and Hollywood gossip sheets, men are eternally
chasing babes, fleeing commitment, abandoning their children, and having
trouble staying sober.

"We should ask how we let these stereotypes -- which by and large everybody
agrees aren't beneficial -- how do we let them continue as we do?" said Mr.
Sand.

Asked whether the survey's claims can be trusted, he said: "When you're
talking about nearly 28,000 men, the chance that they all conspired to
mislead us in the same direction is pretty low." He said people aren't
really surprised by his results, once they think about people they know.

The study is published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

© The Ottawa Citizen 2008