Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

"Ilse Witch" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 03 Jun 2004 19:00:24 -0400, Sophie wrote:

Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
rude
to you? Just curious.

From the already 67 replies to this post, you can see how this is
obviously a big issue for many posters here. I say, if they'd want me to
BF in the bathroom I will gladly comply if the guest who complained takes
his/her meal and eats there too.

Great minds think alike Ilse I've never had to ask anyone to bring their
meal with me to the loo to discuss their problem with me bf in public, but
its certainly what I'd like to think I'd have the guts to do

Amanda (PS - how are you??)

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
EDD 19th August 2004

melizabeth wrote:

are you all using a blanket, or the sling while NIP?

We took DD to a local ice cream maker's "Come eat ice cream for free all
day" party when she was 2-3 weeks old. At that point, I could nurse in
exactly one position, normally topless, and had never tried nursing
outside of the house. It was a million degrees (probably 95 and 80%
humidity), DD was hot and cranky and hungry, she wouldn't take the
bottle of ebm I'd brought, so the only other option was to nurse where
we were. I had my mom hold a blanket between me and the crowd while I
got her latched on, then tried to put a blanket over us. She wouldn't
nurse, I was much hotter, no blanket for us. One of the ice cream lines
was 3 feet away, and we didn't get so much as a glance. I never even
tried to use a blanket again.

I nursed in a sling a lot when DD was younger, because she'd sleep in
the sling and only wake to nurse back to sleep. I nurse in the sling
now, but that's almost as indiscreet as nursing while DD sits in the
shopping cart. Her butt is down below my waist, she's got my shirt in
both hands pulled up as high as possible, and her head and my arms are
the only things blocking the view.

I'm wondering how much discretion
plays a part in people's attitudes towards NIP.

I think the nursing mom's demeanor has a lot to do with it. If you're
acting embarrassed and furtive, people will try to figure out what
you're up to and stare at you in the process. If you think you ought
not be NIPping, you interpret those stares not as curiosity but as
lasciviousness or disgust. If you act normal and matter-of-fact, people
assume you're doing normal things, and NIP isn't what they assume.

Example: I was at the zoo with a mom from a local AP group and her 3
year old. Caterpillar was hot, cranky, and ready for a nap. So I put
her in the sling (sitting up), and she held up my shirt and nursed. The
other mom looked over and said, "Oh, is she sleeping?"

Phoebe

Buzzy Bee wibbled

We were in a brewery/restaurant in Belgium a few weeks back and DH
spotted a woman breastfeeding a toddler. He was all "hey, isn't
that great, she's breastfeeding". *Such* a difference in him

VBG

Jac

H Schinske wrote:

Wouldn't they also remember having their diapers changed?

I don't remember my diaper being changed. Do you?

If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
other topic.

On Fri, 4 Jun 2004 21:26:53 +0000 (UTC), Jacqui
wrote:

Buzzy Bee wibbled

We were in a brewery/restaurant in Belgium a few weeks back and DH
spotted a woman breastfeeding a toddler. He was all "hey, isn't
that great, she's breastfeeding". *Such* a difference in him

VBG

Yeah, you've been a great influence on him, but y'know, iuil is visiting
in a couple of weeks and she and 'Tis Herself were his first NIP
experience (in a Dublin pub when I was pregnant with Seoras). After some
rafter studying I think he got used to the idea and learnt how to have
conversations with their faces!

Megan

"Buzzy Bee" wrote in message
news
On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 17:20:18 GMT, Maria Danielle Darst
wrote:
DH was the one who would get all excited about other people seeing the
babies feed.

We were in a brewery/restaurant in Belgium a few weeks back and DH spotted
a woman breastfeeding a toddler. He was all "hey, isn't that great, she's
breastfeeding". *Such* a difference in him (particularly given I of
course never have breastfed yet, so he doesn't have that "as a Dad"
experience of it). I was kind of glad the ILs weren't with us at the time
(we were on holiday with them, but had decided to skip the brewery tour).
MIL is not so convinced about extended breastfeeding so I am hoping it
just sneaks up on her ;-)

Megan

*lol*

My in-laws seemed to be ok with my BF-ing. It made me nervous to do it w/FIL
or my dad in the room...but OTOH I didn't feel like I should have to leave
the room/conversation/ect for extended periods of time. DH was always there
and made sure that DD and I were comfy and not exposed.

But by far the funniest time I had w/DH was when Kelly was about 3 months
old and we came to visit my mom in San Antonio....and I had to bf on the
plane. He would see her fussing....then see me move her into
position...start the shirt lift and then jump into action with the blankie.
The only thing I could think of was "sheesh....people are trying to board
the plane here...get situated...they are paying me little mind (either we
were seated in a row w/only 2 seats or would have the middle and window
seats in a 3 seat row...so I was usually by the window and someone would
have been pretty hard pressed to figure out what was going on unless they
heard DH saying something.

Your DH seems to have a good attitude about it....hope he keeps the good
humor if you decide to bf as well....it takes it from both partners to get
thru the inital period...

Maria
Kelly 2/19/00
Kyle 7/9/01

"Shena Delian O'Brien" wrote in message
...
H Schinske wrote:

Wouldn't they also remember having their diapers changed?

I don't remember my diaper being changed. Do you?

If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
other topic.


So far only one of my children has managed to be potty trained before 3.
One will be 4 in 2 weeks and she's no where near being potty trained. I'm
sure she'll remember having her diaper changed when she's older.

Denise

Buzzy Bee wibbled
Jacqui wrote:
Buzzy Bee wibbled

We were in a brewery/restaurant in Belgium a few weeks back and
DH spotted a woman breastfeeding a toddler. He was all "hey,
isn't that great, she's breastfeeding". *Such* a difference in
him

VBG

Yeah, you've been a great influence on him, but y'know, iuil is
visiting in a couple of weeks and she and 'Tis Herself were his
first NIP experience (in a Dublin pub when I was pregnant with
Seoras). After some rafter studying I think he got used to the
idea and learnt how to have conversations with their faces!

Oh, I wasn't aiming for sole credit! ;-) I know it's very noticeable
how much more comfortable he is now, though (and equally I'm far
more comfortable NIH(house) with him there, as I've got a lot more
competent at it since we first met!).

Now if I could just have got someone to NIP in front of DH for a
while before T was born... ;-) He's fine with people we know nursing
in front of him now but he was quite startled when we had all the
curtains back on the ward in the first few days and he saw other
women nursing. It was bad enough for him trying to get his head
around *my* doing it. ;-)

Jac

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 14:27:56 -0700, Shena Delian O'Brien
wrote:

If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
other topic.

Neither of mine were out of diapers until they were well past 3 years,
so I imagine my 2 month old may be as well.

Nan

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 21:46:05 GMT, Maria Danielle Darst
wrote:


Your DH seems to have a good attitude about it....hope he keeps the good
humor if you decide to bf as well....it takes it from both partners to
get
thru the inital period...


Oh, I know I have his support, to the extent of telling his mother to ****
off if necessary. We had long discussions about that when I was pregnant
with S. And I certainly *will* BF just as soon as I get a child I *can*
BF - we both have a history of allergies, so its a given for us and one
of the reasons we hired our independent midwife (and will hire her again
even if we opt for a hospital birth, though thats not likely)

Megan