Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

snip
Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.

Sophie
#4 due July 7, 2004

I didn't ever breast feed in public ( as in shops or restaurants) but
certainly did in friends houses purely because I have really big breasts and
tummy and find it very awkward and only ever fed using the football hold and
a pillow at the side of me,( not one bit discrete I tell you!) even in those
parents rooms I couldn't because the sides of the arm chairs were too high..
I timed my outings to shops and dinner etc for the 3 hrs between feeds, I
found it very inconvenient.
I have no objection to people feeding babies in public, I wish I was able to
do it so easily.
Alissa

In article 5hQvc.37079$pt3.23574@attbi_s03,
JennP wrote:

"Sophie" wrote in message
...
Mini-vent coming on -

As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**??

Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
rude
to you? Just curious.

Nursed five kids, nine years total.
I only got one comment and it was enthusiastically
positive.

Jan
Tovah 13
Eliana 11
Asher 9
David 6
Shoshana 4

http://www.lotsofkids.com

Sophie wrote:


Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.

Sophie
#4 due July 7, 2004

I've nursed in public often, although discreetly, and never had a rude comment.
A few double take/longer than normal stares, but nothing major. My 4 year old
recentlyt announced loudly in the middle of the store 'mom, she (dd#2) wants
some BOOB!', which got a few amused stares, but thats the closest I've come to
an odd comment...

cara

Wendy,
I haven't had the pleasure of any long term breastfeeding, but I am the
mother of a 17 month old. I think what happens is that your baby grows so
fast, and yet so slow at the same time. I'd imagine that nursing your baby
at 6 months isn't that much different than nursing that same baby at 7 or 8
or 9 months. The next thing you know, that baby is 12 months old -- an
arbitrary date, and yet still such a baby. The 12 month recommendation is
arbitrary, and mostly based on societal norms and pressures. To suddenly
cut off that closeness, that bonding, that comforting, well, it just doesn't
make logical sense. But that baby who nursed for food and comfort yesterday
at 11 months and 30+ days, isn't any different today, on his/her 1 year
birthday. That baby still needs food and comfort, and your breasts still
provide both. So you continue to breastfeed. Time passes. Maybe you cut
down the number of feedings, based on the baby's wants, needs, and schedule,
but you are still nourishing your child with your body. You do it because
it feels right and natural, and because you can. Time continues to pass,
and the next time you really look at your child, they've morphed into a
toddler. And then a preschooler. Maybe you've stopped by now, by your
choice, or by your child's choice, but if you are still breastfeeding, it's
by mutual consent and agreement -- both parties are benefiting from the
arrangement. Both parties feel the bonding, feel the love, and feel the
comfort.

I think where the cut-off is, depends on the mother and the child.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Check out our Adoption Page at http://home.earthlink.net/~jamielee6


"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
wondering.

Sophie wrote:


Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.

Sophie
#4 due July 7, 2004



I also would get ticked off at people who are so rude about the whole
breastfeeding isue. It is not like I am shooting a porn & if it turns
you on, then you are weird.

I never been in the situation, but I think that if someone says anything
rude to me about breastfeeding in public, I would just tell them that
they should keep their eyes away from me. Look away & it won't bother you.

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
wondering.

Well first of all the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for
at least two years. Breastmilk, contrary to what a lot of people think,
continues to provide wonderful nourishment and health benefits well past
baby's first year. Also, many mothers (myself included) enjoy breastfeeding
their toddlers. I'm sure the age that it gets "weird" is different for every
mother. I'm not sure what that age will be for myself. I hope to breastfeed
my daughter until she is 2 and at that point I will decide whether I feel
comfortable in continuing or not. I honestly cannot see myself breastfeeding
a 3 or 4 year old but I certainly don't judge women who do (and I'm not
saying you are judging them) and who knows, maybe that will be me! I think I
enjoy breastfeeding now more than ever. I recently started working full time
again and the first thing I do when I see my DD after work is breastfeed
her. It is a wonderful way to reconnect with her after being separated all
day.

Seriously? People actually have the nerve to ask such questions? Now
this is 100 times worse than rude comments about breastfeeding. Whose
business is it? Gosh, I would have lashed back at them. How rude. You
got me real angry right there.

I hope that you are not too sensitive about it though.

Phoebe & Allyson wrote:


I've gotten multiple "what country did she come from / what agency did you
use / I always wanted an Oriental baby" comments, though. Apparently nice
Caucasian girls don't give birth to mixed-race children around here.

Phoebe
--
yahoo address is unread; substitute mailbolt

Hi Wendy;

I have had the same question all along, but didn't dare to ask, cause I
might get shot at )

Most research that I have read about breastfeeding assure that it is
actually recommended to breastfeed till the age of 9 months. Then 9
months or more than 9 months has no effect on the child's development,
as long as the child has spent 9 months. It has been agreed that less
than 9 months has a disadvantage on the emotional development of a child
(there has been some research that says that children who have been
breastfed for less than 9 months have had difficulties at school & in
life. I am not sure though how much to believe in that, cause that would
mean that formula fed children have a lower IQ, which simply isn't true).

I never breastfed (since this is my first child), but I hear from my
friends that did that they feel guilty when they think of stopping, also
it makes them feel closer to their child, also it makes them feel more
feminine. It hink that every woman may have a different reason for
breastfeeding longer. Though I can't understand why someone would
breastfeed for so long, but I guess if it makes them feel good, why not
(just not my cup of tea).

Mona
due 07-31-04

Wendy wrote:

I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
wondering.

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 05:20:43 GMT, cara wrote:

My 4 year old
recentlyt announced loudly in the middle of the store 'mom, she (dd#2) wants
some BOOB!

ROFL! My 4 year old has done that, too!
She tells perfect strangers, "my baby sister smiles when she sleeps
cuz she's dreaming of boob".

Heh.

Nan

"zolw" wrote in message
news:PdUvc.47709$Ly.6121@attbi_s01...


Most research that I have read about breastfeeding assure that it is
actually recommended to breastfeed till the age of 9 months. Then 9
months or more than 9 months has no effect on the child's development,
as long as the child has spent 9 months. It has been agreed that less
than 9 months has a disadvantage on the emotional development of a child
(there has been some research that says that children who have been
breastfed for less than 9 months have had difficulties at school & in
life. I am not sure though how much to believe in that, cause that would
mean that formula fed children have a lower IQ, which simply isn't true).

Mmmm. This is not accurate. And I am not flaming you.

Look. What is important to optimal brain development are the EFA's, the
essential fatty acids that are in breastmilk. They can also be put into the
child's diet in other ways. There are formulas which have EFAs added. Other
foods containing EFAs can be added to the child's diet. But the EFAs are
important, and yes they *do* affect IQ. See this article (which just to
reassure you, has nothing to do with breastfeeding, but compares
problem-solving skills in babies fed 'regular' formula vs formula with EFAs
added:

http://exchange.healthwell.com/nutri...fattyacids.cfm

If you choose, or need, to feed formula, you will do best to feed your child
a formula containing EFAs. Will your child be a drooling simpleton if he
does not receive EFA-enhanced formula? No, of course not.

If you breastfeed, your child will receive EFAs without having to think
about it at all. Nor will you have to worry about constipation,
contamination, running out of formula at an inopportune time, and certain
other inconveniences and discomforts.

Now, to address the OP's question about why anyone would want to breastfeed
past a year, I can only tell you why I did (#1 until age 5, #2 until age 3
1/2):

I don't believe in calendars ruling my life. I don't give a damn about
Christmas, Easter, or Thanksgiving. I don't like my birthday. I don't
believe in due dates, and I don't think there's anything magical about a
child being 365 days old. My babies wanted to nurse, and I found it more
advantageous to continue giving them my breasts than to deprive them of it.
By the end, my then-5-year-old was only asking once a day, and then once
every couple of days, and then once a week. But she still would ask, and I
allowed it (briefly). I found if I refused, she sucked her thumb. She needed
*something*, and nursing provided it. I didn't want her to suck her thumb
because she needed something I could provide, but refused to provide. One
day she just never asked anymore. I can't tell you when she was weaned. It
was so gradual.

I had to wean my #2 because I got pregnant and my milk simply dried up after
a couple of months. She resented it and still (a year and a half later)
talks about missing being a baby, and missing nursing.

I can't imagine trying to find a better panacea for nightmares, scraped
knees, bruises, and bonks on the head. I can't imagine leaving my baby to
scream herself to sleep at night when I can roll over and let her nurse for
five minutes and have silence. I know no better way to get a cranky,
fighting-sleep baby to sleep. Or a fighting-sleep toddler. I can't imagine
trying to get a sick kid to drink that nasty Pedialyte stuff, when
breastmilk is the best thing for a sick baby, chock full of useful
antibodies. And it tastes good. I can't imagine giving those things up
because a calendar says it's time. I prefer to let my child tell me when
she's ready. They do; they will. Eventually, every child asks less and less.
Sometimes this is before the age of 1 year; sometimes as old as six. So
that's why *I* do it. And I will do it with the nursling I have now, age 10
months. It's good for them, and it's convenient for me.

Others' mileage may vary.

--angela