Just a litle paranoia question

Hi all

I just wondered if you guys thought I over-reacted...

I recently locked myself out of the house with Jessica (then 13 months)
inside. I had no keys, no phone, no money - not even shoes, I'd literally
answered the door as I thought someone had knocked and stepped out to see if
anyone was there, and of course the door blew shut. As we'd only just moved
in, no one here had a spare key, my husband was over an hour away a work,
and there was no way in. The back door was open, but the gate (6+ft tall
with no handles to stand on) was locked. I was literally stuck. I was also
worried, because she's very tall (in 18month-2 year stuff as well as 2-3yo
clothes), but obviously is very young for her height, iyswim, so my mind was
running as I wasn't sure what she could reach.... I had no choice but to
run to the phone box to call the police - half an hour later they still
hadn't arrived, but a neighbour had returned with a ladder and was able to
get over the fence and into the conservatory and back door... Obviously, I
then called the police back and told them not to come, but you can imagine
that after that period of time, I was quite distressed...

Only a couple of days later, I had to leave her with a babysitter while I
was at work, and my husband was out at the babysitter's boyfriend's
stag-night. The babysitter is my best friend, and they're Jessie's
Godparents, so I clearly trust them a lot. I returned back to their house at
10.30pm and rang the door bell... again and again and again... I knocked as
loud as I could and still no answer. I rang the phone from my mobile at
least 10 times, as well as calling her mobile - still nothing. By now, I was
getting panicked, having still not quite recovered from the previous event.
It was also only the 3rd time we'd ever left her with a sitter, so that
wasn't helping me. I went round the back of the house, and couldn't see
anyone at all, and the front curtains were drawn. I rang my husbad at the
pub where they were, and he was as confused as I was. He ran back with her
boyfriend's key (took him about 20 mins) while I continued knocking and
calling. Eventually we got in, and I flew up the stairs to find Jessie, who
was sound asleep in bed. I came down to find DH talking to my friend, who
had been asleep on the sofa the whole time (I know that she is the world's
heaviest sleeper, but I couldn't see that from outside). She could see I was
upset but didn't get why, making out that she was only dozing - I could hear
the phone that was next to her from outside!! I reminded her of what had
happened a few days before, and that I didn't know what was going on, or if
they were even still there. For all i knew, my friend could have had an
accident, and not been able to get to the door. She got, well, a bit stroppy
really, wanting to know why I didn't trust her etc, that I should have known
better. I told her that I'd given her a long time to answer the door and
phone in, that I did trust her, but how was I to know that she'd crashed out
on the sofa? I'm Jessie's mum and if I can't get to her, then I'm going to
be worried. However, I told her that I wasn't cross (and I wasn't), but she
was still quite stroppy about it, saying she couldn't believe that I didn't
trust her.

Do you think I over reacted? All I did really was call my husband to get the
key to get in. Yes, I was upset, but I think that's a normal maternal
reaction. It's not caused a major rift or anything, but it's there at the
back of my mind.

Lucy x

"Lucy-lu" wrote in message
...
Hi all

I just wondered if you guys thought I over-reacted...

I recently locked myself out of the house with Jessica (then 13 months)
inside. I had no keys, no phone, no money - not even shoes, I'd literally
answered the door as I thought someone had knocked and stepped out to see
if anyone was there, and of course the door blew shut. As we'd only just
moved in, no one here had a spare key, my husband was over an hour away a
work, and there was no way in. The back door was open, but the gate (6+ft
tall with no handles to stand on) was locked. I was literally stuck. I was
also worried, because she's very tall (in 18month-2 year stuff as well as
2-3yo clothes), but obviously is very young for her height, iyswim, so my
mind was running as I wasn't sure what she could reach.... I had no
choice but to run to the phone box to call the police - half an hour later
they still hadn't arrived, but a neighbour had returned with a ladder and
was able to get over the fence and into the conservatory and back door...
Obviously, I then called the police back and told them not to come, but
you can imagine that after that period of time, I was quite distressed...

#2 locked me out when she was about 20 months. I went to put something in
the bin which is in a cupboard right by the front door, and she slammed the
door behind me. I could see the keys through the letter box but she couldn't
get them down. She thought it was funny and even went of the potty. I padded
across the road and called the friend with the spare key.
Only a couple of days later, I had to leave her with a babysitter while I
was at work, and my husband was out at the babysitter's boyfriend's
stag-night.
snip

Do you think I over reacted? All I did really was call my husband to get
the key to get in. Yes, I was upset, but I think that's a normal maternal
reaction. It's not caused a major rift or anything, but it's there at the
back of my mind.
I think I'd have panicked in that situation even if I'd left them with dh.
I'd be at the back of my mind that had the baby had an accident and they
were in hospital having been unable to contact me.
So, no, I don't think you overreacted.
Debbie

On Sep 26, 12:26 pm, "Lucy-lu" wrote:
Hi all

I just wondered if you guys thought I over-reacted...

I recently locked myself out of the house with Jessica (then 13 months)
inside. I had no keys, no phone, no money - not even shoes, I'd literally
answered the door as I thought someone had knocked and stepped out to see if
anyone was there, and of course the door blew shut. As we'd only just moved
in, no one here had a spare key, my husband was over an hour away a work,
and there was no way in. The back door was open, but the gate (6+ft tall
with no handles to stand on) was locked. I was literally stuck. I was also
worried, because she's very tall (in 18month-2 year stuff as well as 2-3yo
clothes), but obviously is very young for her height, iyswim, so my mind was
running as I wasn't sure what she could reach.... I had no choice but to
run to the phone box to call the police - half an hour later they still
hadn't arrived, but a neighbour had returned with a ladder and was able to
get over the fence and into the conservatory and back door... Obviously, I
then called the police back and told them not to come, but you can imagine
that after that period of time, I was quite distressed...

I would have panicked about that too.

Only a couple of days later, I had to leave her with a babysitter while I
was at work, and my husband was out at the babysitter's boyfriend's
stag-night. The babysitter is my best friend, and they're Jessie's
Godparents, so I clearly trust them a lot. I returned back to their house at
10.30pm and rang the door bell... again and again and again... I knocked as
loud as I could and still no answer. I rang the phone from my mobile at
least 10 times, as well as calling her mobile - still nothing. By now, I was
getting panicked, having still not quite recovered from the previous event.
It was also only the 3rd time we'd ever left her with a sitter, so that
wasn't helping me. I went round the back of the house, and couldn't see
anyone at all, and the front curtains were drawn. I rang my husbad at the
pub where they were, and he was as confused as I was. He ran back with her
boyfriend's key (took him about 20 mins) while I continued knocking and
calling. Eventually we got in, and I flew up the stairs to find Jessie, who
was sound asleep in bed. I came down to find DH talking to my friend, who
had been asleep on the sofa the whole time (I know that she is the world's
heaviest sleeper, but I couldn't see that from outside). She could see I was
upset but didn't get why, making out that she was only dozing - I could hear
the phone that was next to her from outside!! I reminded her of what had
happened a few days before, and that I didn't know what was going on, or if
they were even still there. For all i knew, my friend could have had an
accident, and not been able to get to the door. She got, well, a bit stroppy
really, wanting to know why I didn't trust her etc, that I should have known
better. I told her that I'd given her a long time to answer the door and
phone in, that I did trust her, but how was I to know that she'd crashed out
on the sofa? I'm Jessie's mum and if I can't get to her, then I'm going to
be worried. However, I told her that I wasn't cross (and I wasn't), but she
was still quite stroppy about it, saying she couldn't believe that I didn't
trust her.

Do you think I over reacted? All I did really was call my husband to get the
key to get in. Yes, I was upset, but I think that's a normal maternal
reaction. It's not caused a major rift or anything, but it's there at the
back of my mind.


yes and no. I would have been just as terrified. Once when DD was at
the sitter's (an in home daycare) I rang the doorbell and knocked for
about 15 mins. I could *hear* DD inside, but no answer. I finally
called. No answer. I was about to freak and call the police when I
called again and she answered, saying she just didn't hear the
phone...the house is about 900 SF...

Anyway, I think your initial reaction is perfectly normal, even
without the first situation. However, I also don't think your friend
did anything *wrong*. I guess I'd worry that if she's such a heavy
sleeper, she may not be a good sitter if you want someone who'd be
able to respond to your dd should she wake/cry etc. But I don't think
she necessarily should have stayed awake. It's only wrong if she'd
taken drugs/alcohol which impaired her. Sleep is normal. I guess I'd
just reiterate that you were really worried, but all was well, so it's
ok.

FWIW - I haven't had my mom take care of DD overnight for a similar
reason. She has cared for her during the day, and once in the evening
until about 11pm (and did go to sleep). But not overnight. DD still
wakes at night and my mom sleeps with a breathing machine and sleep
really heavily. Now, she can wake up but she ends up not sleepingat
all because she's worried about not waking, so it's best not to bother
either of them ;-). I trust her 100%, just don't feel comfortable with
an overnight due to the sleep issue. She's ok with that.
Lucy x

I had a similar situation when #2 was a baby, and he was asleep in the
house, and I had my next door neighbor break in, ruining the door, so
I don't think YOU overreacted!

Regarding the second situation, if she didn't hear you, how would she
hear the baby crying? I'd worry about her babysitting abilities,
myself.

But in either case, what you need are extra keys, hidden somewhere
safe nearby.

Leslie

I don't think you have overreacted. It's not safe to leave a baby with a
babysitter who is a VERY heavy sleeper. If your friend fell asleep so
deeply that she didn't hear the banging on the door and the phone rining for
20 minutes, how is she going to hear the baby crying? If the baby had a
seizure, would she have woken up? If the baby managed to climb out of the
crib and left her room and got into something she shouldn't have, would she
have woken up? If the fire alarm had gone off, would she have woken up? If
someone had broken into the house, would she have woken up?

This isn't about trusting your friend. If your friend was awake the whole
time, of course you would trust Jessica with her. But your friend chose to
go to sleep, and considering she is a heavy sleeper, that wasn't a sound
idea. I think you need to tell her that because she is such a heavy
sleeper, you would prefer that she not sleep while babysitting Jessica. If
she has a problem with that, then you'll have to find another sitter. As
hard as that may be, considering she is a close friend, it's really not
something you can let slide.

People who are really heavy sleepers tend to become lighter sleepers when
they have their own kids. But since Jessica isn't her child, she isn't
tuned in while unconscious. It's not her fault, and it doesn't make her a
bad person, it's just a fact.
--

Jamie
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Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

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"Lucy-lu" wrote in message
...
Hi all

I just wondered if you guys thought I over-reacted...

I recently locked myself out of the house with Jessica (then 13 months)
inside. I had no keys, no phone, no money - not even shoes, I'd literally
answered the door as I thought someone had knocked and stepped out to see
if anyone was there, and of course the door blew shut. As we'd only just
moved in, no one here had a spare key, my husband was over an hour away a
work, and there was no way in. The back door was open, but the gate (6+ft
tall with no handles to stand on) was locked. I was literally stuck. I was
also worried, because she's very tall (in 18month-2 year stuff as well as
2-3yo clothes), but obviously is very young for her height, iyswim, so my
mind was running as I wasn't sure what she could reach.... I had no
choice but to run to the phone box to call the police - half an hour later
they still hadn't arrived, but a neighbour had returned with a ladder and
was able to get over the fence and into the conservatory and back door...
Obviously, I then called the police back and told them not to come, but
you can imagine that after that period of time, I was quite distressed...

Only a couple of days later, I had to leave her with a babysitter while I
was at work, and my husband was out at the babysitter's boyfriend's
stag-night. The babysitter is my best friend, and they're Jessie's
Godparents, so I clearly trust them a lot. I returned back to their house
at 10.30pm and rang the door bell... again and again and again... I
knocked as loud as I could and still no answer. I rang the phone from my
mobile at least 10 times, as well as calling her mobile - still nothing.
By now, I was getting panicked, having still not quite recovered from the
previous event. It was also only the 3rd time we'd ever left her with a
sitter, so that wasn't helping me. I went round the back of the house, and
couldn't see anyone at all, and the front curtains were drawn. I rang my
husbad at the pub where they were, and he was as confused as I was. He ran
back with her boyfriend's key (took him about 20 mins) while I continued
knocking and calling. Eventually we got in, and I flew up the stairs to
find Jessie, who was sound asleep in bed. I came down to find DH talking
to my friend, who had been asleep on the sofa the whole time (I know that
she is the world's heaviest sleeper, but I couldn't see that from
outside). She could see I was upset but didn't get why, making out that
she was only dozing - I could hear the phone that was next to her from
outside!! I reminded her of what had happened a few days before, and that
I didn't know what was going on, or if they were even still there. For all
i knew, my friend could have had an accident, and not been able to get to
the door. She got, well, a bit stroppy really, wanting to know why I
didn't trust her etc, that I should have known better. I told her that I'd
given her a long time to answer the door and phone in, that I did trust
her, but how was I to know that she'd crashed out on the sofa? I'm
Jessie's mum and if I can't get to her, then I'm going to be worried.
However, I told her that I wasn't cross (and I wasn't), but she was still
quite stroppy about it, saying she couldn't believe that I didn't trust
her.

Do you think I over reacted? All I did really was call my husband to get
the key to get in. Yes, I was upset, but I think that's a normal maternal
reaction. It's not caused a major rift or anything, but it's there at the
back of my mind.

Lucy x

But your friend chose to
go to sleep, and considering she is a heavy sleeper, that wasn't a sound
idea.

might sound silly, but has your friend had her hearing checked? not
waking up for 20 minutes is pretty extreme even if there did happen to
be something more to the situation, I take sleeping pills and I'll only
not wake up if my husband deals with the issue fast any more than a few
minutes of noise and I'm up too, even if not fully coherent, even at the
peak of the affect of the drug I'm nowhere near not waking up in 20
minutes of door bell, banging and the phone.


Anne

Hi Lucy

I don't think you over reacted at all and I think I would have done pretty
much the same as you did. My only worry with this lady is if she can not
hear a phone ring would she hear the baby crying or a fire alarm sounding in
an emergency. Don't mean to scare you or put you off her in the future but
thats just my humble oppinion and thouhts.

april
"Lucy-lu" wrote in message
...
Hi all

I just wondered if you guys thought I over-reacted...

I recently locked myself out of the house with Jessica (then 13 months)
inside. I had no keys, no phone, no money - not even shoes, I'd literally
answered the door as I thought someone had knocked and stepped out to see
if anyone was there, and of course the door blew shut. As we'd only just
moved in, no one here had a spare key, my husband was over an hour away a
work, and there was no way in. The back door was open, but the gate (6+ft
tall with no handles to stand on) was locked. I was literally stuck. I was
also worried, because she's very tall (in 18month-2 year stuff as well as
2-3yo clothes), but obviously is very young for her height, iyswim, so my
mind was running as I wasn't sure what she could reach.... I had no
choice but to run to the phone box to call the police - half an hour later
they still hadn't arrived, but a neighbour had returned with a ladder and
was able to get over the fence and into the conservatory and back door...
Obviously, I then called the police back and told them not to come, but
you can imagine that after that period of time, I was quite distressed...

Only a couple of days later, I had to leave her with a babysitter while I
was at work, and my husband was out at the babysitter's boyfriend's
stag-night. The babysitter is my best friend, and they're Jessie's
Godparents, so I clearly trust them a lot. I returned back to their house
at 10.30pm and rang the door bell... again and again and again... I
knocked as loud as I could and still no answer. I rang the phone from my
mobile at least 10 times, as well as calling her mobile - still nothing.
By now, I was getting panicked, having still not quite recovered from the
previous event. It was also only the 3rd time we'd ever left her with a
sitter, so that wasn't helping me. I went round the back of the house, and
couldn't see anyone at all, and the front curtains were drawn. I rang my
husbad at the pub where they were, and he was as confused as I was. He ran
back with her boyfriend's key (took him about 20 mins) while I continued
knocking and calling. Eventually we got in, and I flew up the stairs to
find Jessie, who was sound asleep in bed. I came down to find DH talking
to my friend, who had been asleep on the sofa the whole time (I know that
she is the world's heaviest sleeper, but I couldn't see that from
outside). She could see I was upset but didn't get why, making out that
she was only dozing - I could hear the phone that was next to her from
outside!! I reminded her of what had happened a few days before, and that
I didn't know what was going on, or if they were even still there. For all
i knew, my friend could have had an accident, and not been able to get to
the door. She got, well, a bit stroppy really, wanting to know why I
didn't trust her etc, that I should have known better. I told her that I'd
given her a long time to answer the door and phone in, that I did trust
her, but how was I to know that she'd crashed out on the sofa? I'm
Jessie's mum and if I can't get to her, then I'm going to be worried.
However, I told her that I wasn't cross (and I wasn't), but she was still
quite stroppy about it, saying she couldn't believe that I didn't trust
her.

Do you think I over reacted? All I did really was call my husband to get
the key to get in. Yes, I was upset, but I think that's a normal maternal
reaction. It's not caused a major rift or anything, but it's there at the
back of my mind.

Lucy x

"Welches" wrote in message
...

"Lucy-lu" wrote in message
...
Hi all

I just wondered if you guys thought I over-reacted...

I recently locked myself out of the house with Jessica (then 13 months)
inside. I had no keys, no phone, no money - not even shoes, I'd literally
answered the door as I thought someone had knocked and stepped out to see
if anyone was there, and of course the door blew shut. As we'd only just
moved in, no one here had a spare key, my husband was over an hour away a
work, and there was no way in. The back door was open, but the gate (6+ft
tall with no handles to stand on) was locked. I was literally stuck. I
was also worried, because she's very tall (in 18month-2 year stuff as
well as 2-3yo clothes), but obviously is very young for her height,
iyswim, so my mind was running as I wasn't sure what she could reach....
I had no choice but to run to the phone box to call the police - half an
hour later they still hadn't arrived, but a neighbour had returned with a
ladder and was able to get over the fence and into the conservatory and
back door... Obviously, I then called the police back and told them not
to come, but you can imagine that after that period of time, I was quite
distressed...

#2 locked me out when she was about 20 months. I went to put something in
the bin which is in a cupboard right by the front door, and she slammed
the door behind me. I could see the keys through the letter box but she
couldn't get them down. She thought it was funny and even went of the
potty. I padded across the road and called the friend with the spare key.
Only a couple of days later, I had to leave her with a babysitter while I
was at work, and my husband was out at the babysitter's boyfriend's
stag-night.
snip

Do you think I over reacted? All I did really was call my husband to get
the key to get in. Yes, I was upset, but I think that's a normal maternal
reaction. It's not caused a major rift or anything, but it's there at the
back of my mind.
I think I'd have panicked in that situation even if I'd left them with dh.
I'd be at the back of my mind that had the baby had an accident and they
were in hospital having been unable to contact me.
So, no, I don't think you overreacted.
Debbie

I don't think you overreacted either. But I'd have been looking for
something to break a window with. You've got your keys made and hidden
now, right?

Where I live, the fire department would be more prompt, and I'd also call a
locksmith. I too would go to neighbors for help, but I'm the type to smash
a window and rip a screen to get inside.

Jessica




--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

I understand your panic in both situations. For the first situation,
time to leave a key with a neighbour or in some well hidden spot in
the yard or garage - somewhere not so obvious - we own an island
cottage, and we keep a spare key in a specific jar of old hardware in
a shed - only hubby and I know where it is (a thief would have to be
truly creative and lucky to find it). Its saved our butts a couple of
times when we've accidentally locked outselves out.

I would never hire that sitter again, friend or no friend. Sorry, if
you are sitting, you don't go to sleep - and doubly a no-no if you are
a remarkably sound sleeper who won't wake when the phone rings etc..
The house could be on fire and the silly woman wouldn't wake up. Not a
safe, if you ask me.

M.