Do you have at least 2 children??

I have three kids, 2 years 10 months between #1 and #2, and 4 years
between #2 and #3.

My personal experience - a lot hinges on the temperment and
personality of the individual kids AND the family itself. In
retrospect, my first baby was about average. #2 was an extremely
difficult baby. #3 was exceptionally mellow.

So, what happened at our house was that when we had #2, he just about
killed us. He was one of those legendary parent killing babies that
never sleeps, that screams all the time etc. Turned out much later we
found out he has a sensory integration issue on the autism scale, so
everything bothers him and he can't ignore things in the environment
like funny smells, rough clothing, noises, textures, temperatures, you
name it. So his entire infancy, he just wailed and screamed night and
day and we were totally strung out and couldn't figure out what we
were doing wrong. Going from one kid to two was very difficult as a
consequence. On the other hand, given that #3 was so "easy", going
from 2 to 3 was no biggie at all.

Honestly, if #2 had been our first baby and we not had a previous kid
to compare to, I doubt we would have had more than one kid.

#1 was interested in #2 but disappointed baby couldn't play
immediately. I was the one who had the problem, since I felt stressed
out all the time, and so much of my time and attention had to be on
the screamer. I felt really bad since because #2 was so fussy and
easily upset, we were held hostage in a way to his needs (i.e. I'd
promise to take the 3 year old to the park and then would reneg
because baby brother was inconsolably howling). When we had #3, both
older boys were so excited. They were very interested in her, and
since she was so easy going, they did interact with her a lot and she
tolerated a lot of mauling (i.e. smoochy kisses, squishes, being
buried in toys etc.).

Now, years later, they are all fast friends and spend a lot of time
playing together (i.e. The older two are partners in crime for video
games, and they pool their cash for a lot of purchases, the middle one
and the youngest play together still).

At the moment, they are 17, 14 and 10. The 14 year old and the 10
year old fight a lot at the moment, but most of that is due to the
phases they are in. 14 year old is crabby boy adolescent (i.e.
maximally irritating know it all), 10 year old is in the drama queen
phase of pre-adolescence. So he's always trying to tell her what to
do, and she's always reacting like he's cutting off her leg with a
chainsaw (screaming, door slamming etc).

M