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Occasional lurker posts first question
Greeties! I know a couple folks here who post to
AF, and I've been back and forth just reading and enjoying many of the posts, the posters and their "subjects." My question concerns a new behavior in my 8-yr-old daughter: She doesn't seem to want me to kiss her anymore. I would be less concerned if she were 14, but at 8? If I ask nicely, she'll offer the top of her head. Hugging is also starting to to feel "strained." This started only the past month or so. We have our run-ins, but neither of us holds grudges and she doesn't seem to be angry or upset or anything. I haven't noticed the same behavior with Dad (we are married and not having any family problems, just for reference.) I am the primary disciplinarian and maybe that has something to do with it, but I honestly don't know. Please tell me this is normal! I would still feel a little sad, but I would be less worried. Thxia! kayper |
#2
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Occasional lurker posts first question
kayper wrote:
Greeties! I know a couple folks here who post to AF, and I've been back and forth just reading and enjoying many of the posts, the posters and their "subjects." My question concerns a new behavior in my 8-yr-old daughter: She doesn't seem to want me to kiss her anymore. I would be less concerned if she were 14, but at 8? If I ask nicely, she'll offer the top of her head. Hugging is also starting to to feel "strained." This started only the past month or so. We have our run-ins, but neither of us holds grudges and she doesn't seem to be angry or upset or anything. I haven't noticed the same behavior with Dad (we are married and not having any family problems, just for reference.) I am the primary disciplinarian and maybe that has something to do with it, but I honestly don't know. Please tell me this is normal! I would still feel a little sad, but I would be less worried. Thxia! kayper I think it might just be a phase. Maybe she's just in a bit of a "daddy" phase and is pushing you out a bit. I'd just keep being affectionate (it's easy to let the lack of overt displays make *you* pull away, so be careful not to do that and to find other ways to demonstrate your affection) and not worry about it or push it. Best wishes, Ericka |
#3
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Occasional lurker posts first question
In article A%_2c.141813$4o.181378@attbi_s52,
kayper wrote: Greeties! I know a couple folks here who post to AF, and I've been back and forth just reading and enjoying many of the posts, the posters and their "subjects." My question concerns a new behavior in my 8-yr-old daughter: She doesn't seem to want me to kiss her anymore. I would be less concerned if she were 14, but at 8? If I ask nicely, she'll offer the top of her head. Hugging is also starting to to feel "strained." This started only the past month or so. We have our run-ins, but neither of us holds grudges and she doesn't seem to be angry or upset or anything. I haven't noticed the same behavior with Dad (we are married and not having any family problems, just for reference.) I am the primary disciplinarian and maybe that has something to do with it, but I honestly don't know. Please tell me this is normal! I would still feel a little sad, but I would be less worried. Thxia! kayper I have one kid who started pushing away physical contact at about that age; it's young, but not unheard of. I figure it's her body, and tried not to take it personally! (OTOH, I have an 18 yo who STILL snuggles with me when we watch TV -- 'normal' is a heck of a wide range!) With the one who wants less physical contact (now a 21 yo) , once in a while I'll tell her to stand still, because I'm going to hug her; she grimaces, holds herself rigid, then laughs. We get along OK with that. meh -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#4
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Occasional lurker posts first question
dragonlady wrote:
With the one who wants less physical contact (now a 21 yo) , once in a while I'll tell her to stand still, because I'm going to hug her; she grimaces, holds herself rigid, then laughs. We get along OK with that. This made me laugh, too. I feel silly for not recognizing it before, but *I'm* not a particularly touchy-feely person, either! I've always made the effort to make sure to hug and show physical affection to her, but she's *never* been the snuggle-bunny type. So it looks as if she's just taking after her old Mom. I guess because it just seemed so sudden. Thx much for the help! kayper |
#5
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Occasional lurker posts first question
Ericka Kammerer wrote:
I think it might just be a phase. Maybe she's just in a bit of a "daddy" phase and is pushing you out a bit. I'd just keep being affectionate (it's easy to let the lack of overt displays make *you* pull away, so be careful not to do that and to find other ways to demonstrate your affection) and not worry about it or push it. Thx very much for the insight. She is still as open and cheerful with me every bit as before, just not as physically affectionate. I feel better for having read the responses. Thx very much! kayper |
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