4 year old wetting pants.

First, make sure that there is no physical problem by taking her to
her pediatrician to check that she doesn't have a bladder infection
or something like that.

Second, *don't* punish her or reward her for her toileting behavior.
Let her change herself, but don't react to it at all if you want to
try to keep her in underwear.

My vote, though would be to ask her if she wants to be back in
diapers and to allow that if she wants to be a baby again for a
little while. It will blow over after the stresses of the new baby
are done. Meanwhile talk to her about all the things big kids can
do that babies can't manage. And involve her in helping with the
new baby. I am sure that your husbands being gone is probably
a stressor too, so keep her in touch with him if you can. Does he
have email access? He can write to her and you can read these
emails to her.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits


She has an appointment soon with her ped and I am going to get her checked
out then, just to make sure.

I have been having her help me with the baby. She helps me dress him bath
him and chnage him. I have tried to keep her as involved with him as much as
possible.

As far as her dad is concerened she has been so angry about the whole
situation. He has called twice this week the first time she answered the
phone but she wouldn't aknowledge him and handed me the phone. When I asked
her if she wanted to talk to him she just walked away. Then he called
yesterday while she was napping, I let her know after she woke up and all
she has to say was "I'm happy for you"
Anytime I try to talk to her about him being out to sea she changes the
subject, if I press her she just walks off.
We tried to prepare her as far in advance as we could for this. We took her
for a tour of the sub, let her see where daddy sleeps, eats and what not. I
even got her a calendar so that we could count off the days till daddy gets
back.. she seemed like it wasn't that big a deal.
Till the day we dropped him off at the pier and she wouldn't say goodbye to
him. She literally snubbed him, no hugs, kisses nothing.. I felt so bad for
the both of them. Course once we drove off she bawled all the way home.
I just don't know how to get her to open up about the whole thing .. so
talking to him really doesn't help since I can't get her to talk to him

x-no-archive:yes


toto wrote:

On Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:02:18 GMT, "kylee"
wrote:


I have even caught her intentionally pulling down her pants and going on the
floor just so she wouldn't get in trouble for getting her pants wet. So I
know she knows when she has to go. Granted our only bathroom is upstairs but
this is gettiing rediculous.

First, make sure that there is no physical problem by taking her to
her pediatrician to check that she doesn't have a bladder infection
or something like that.

Yes - I had cystitis right after I was married and I would have to go
again even if I had just gone. It doesn't help to know that I need to
go - because I always needed to go. (Like in those commercials). I
couldn't even drive 45 minutes without stopping to go. This is
different from frequent urination because you are pg.

So I would want to be sure that it was something that she really has
control over.

Second, *don't* punish her or reward her for her toileting behavior.
Let her change herself, but don't react to it at all if you want to
try to keep her in underwear.

My vote, though would be to ask her if she wants to be back in
diapers and to allow that if she wants to be a baby again for a
little while. It will blow over after the stresses of the new baby
are done. Meanwhile talk to her about all the things big kids can
do that babies can't manage. And involve her in helping with the
new baby. I am sure that your husbands being gone is probably
a stressor too, so keep her in touch with him if you can. Does he
have email access? He can write to her and you can read these
emails to her.


grandma Rosalie

"kylee" wrote in message . ..

Till the day we dropped him off at the pier and she wouldn't say goodbye to
him. She literally snubbed him, no hugs, kisses nothing.. I felt so bad for
the both of them. Course once we drove off she bawled all the way home.
I just don't know how to get her to open up about the whole thing .. so
talking to him really doesn't help since I can't get her to talk to him

I have found that books and stories (about other kids and dads who
just happen to have the same things happen to them) help a ton with
things like this. Find a book (or make up a story) about a little girl
whose daddy goes away on a sub and tell her all the things that
happen. If there are any particular things you think she may be
worrying about, put those in the story too. If she gets into the
story, let her fill in details or ask her questions (How do you think
Kimberly felt when xyz happened?). This might give you great insight
into what is going on.

Good luck,

Jan