How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 13, 12:42 pm, Rosalie B. wrote:

The problem here is DH. he claims he doesn't sleep well in the other
bed (it hurts his back) and every time I bring it up (like daily) he

How about switching the beds? So he's in the bed that he likes but in
another room.

Oh I've considered this many times. This will be experiment #2, after
I try with her in the crib next to the bed for awhile. Moving it is a
major PITA, so I've been hesitant (it's large and awkward with the
door frames). Worth it if it helps, but I'll wait to see if the first
attempt has some success.

OK - then offer her food when you get home and if she doesn't want to
eat, give her the bath then, and eat afterwards. Maybe a later
bedtime will be the thing. Experiment.

That's my plan starting tonight!

As I said elsewhere, for awhile DH was giving her a snack in the car
on the way home - it kept her from screaming all the way home...she
has never ever tolerated driving . I don't think it was hunger so
much as keeping her occupied. In any case, I thought that was making
her less hungry so not eating dinner, so we tried stopping that. She's
still not eating many days.

Although I found that counter-intuitively- if I put dd#2 to bed later
than normal, that she woke up earlier than normal. So if she went
down at her normal bedtime at 7, she'd sleep through until 7 the next
morning. (This was when she was a baby.) But if she didn't get to
bed until 8 pm, she'd be up at 6 am or earlier.

this is definitely true. Those nights she falls asleep later she's
always up earlier. We try to keep it as consistent as possible.

"cjra" wrote in message
...
On Mar 13, 3:48 am, "lu-lu" wrote:

Heh... It looks like we just sleep and eat here!! She does munch a lot
during the day, but the snacks are little, and I normally keep packets
of
raisins in my handbag so that she can have them while we're out. If
she's
hungry, her energy levels drop, and we get (extra) tantrums All I
need to
do now is to get her to stop screaming when I put reins on her!

There are some weekends it seems that's all we *try* to do and not
succeed. She began throwing tantrums recently with the high chair,
refusing to sit in it (I think the time out at daycare was in a high
chair and since then, at least at home, she sees it as a torture
chamber...). However we've let her scream and now she only resists for
a minute, down from 30 minutes.

I don't know if your DD's up for a change, but I recently bought Jessica
alittle table and chair. I guess you guys have the same thing over there -
it's one of the plastic ones that looks like mini garden furniture. She's a
real girlie-girl, so I found one in pink and she loves it. I make sure she
sits when she eats anything at all, and so even when I make her toast in the
mornings, she gets the plate, runs to her "big girl" table and sits really
nicely. I bought her some little cutlery too, and she's doing really well
with it now. Like A, she was really screaming with the high chair, but she's
finding eating at her table her real pleasure. We've been doing that for a
couple of months now.

Hope this helps

Lucy x

On Mar 13, 1:54 pm, "lu-lu" wrote:
"cjra" wrote in message

...



On Mar 13, 3:48 am, "lu-lu" wrote:

Heh... It looks like we just sleep and eat here!! She does munch a lot
during the day, but the snacks are little, and I normally keep packets
of
raisins in my handbag so that she can have them while we're out. If
she's
hungry, her energy levels drop, and we get (extra) tantrums All I
need to
do now is to get her to stop screaming when I put reins on her!

There are some weekends it seems that's all we *try* to do and not
succeed. She began throwing tantrums recently with the high chair,
refusing to sit in it (I think the time out at daycare was in a high
chair and since then, at least at home, she sees it as a torture
chamber...). However we've let her scream and now she only resists for
a minute, down from 30 minutes.

I don't know if your DD's up for a change, but I recently bought Jessica
alittle table and chair. I guess you guys have the same thing over there -
it's one of the plastic ones that looks like mini garden furniture. She's a
real girlie-girl, so I found one in pink and she loves it. I make sure she
sits when she eats anything at all, and so even when I make her toast in the
mornings, she gets the plate, runs to her "big girl" table and sits really
nicely. I bought her some little cutlery too, and she's doing really well
with it now. Like A, she was really screaming with the high chair, but she's
finding eating at her table her real pleasure. We've been doing that for a
couple of months now.

Hmmm, she does have a little chair, and she has plenty of cutlery
(although she always wants the big stuff), but no table. I'm not sure
she'd like it because she's not on the same level as us.
She was fine with the high chair until about 6 weeks ago. But she's
starting to calm down about it. Yoghurt is her favourite and she's
learning she doesn't get it unless she's seated in the high chair. I
don't like using food as a weapon though, but she's accepted it for
the most part.

cjra wrote:
On Mar 13, 11:48 am, Rosalie B. wrote:

I agree with Erika and Sue - your child has got your number and she is
NOT going to go to her crib and sleep through the night without a
determined and protracted struggle to keep things the way she wants
them.

Yeah, I'm sure of that. I'm much more of a softy than I expected to
be.

Sometimes it's not about being "soft" but about the child
moving on to a different developmental stage and the parent taking
a little extra time to clue in that behavior that used to be
appropriate is no longer so. Those darned kids are a moving target!
Just when you think you've got a stage figured out, they move on
to something new and you're left scratching your head and wondering
why the old tricks don't work anymore! ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

Not unless we win the lottery and can pay someone to do it. We
scheduled out every weekend based on what needs to be done, and came
up with a September end date. No other rooms are 'complete' except our
bedroom.

I think you're stuck between a rock and a hard place here, I honestly
think that to both continue nursing and cosleeping and also sleep
through the night is a VERY hard task, something that I cannot recall a
single person I've come across having done it (that could be because if
it was easy and not a problem it doesn't get mentioned). I know plenty
of people who nursed toddlers and had them sleeping through the night in
a separate room and I also know of non nursing cosleeping though the
night toddlers - I've had one of each myself!

So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.

It may feel like you can only survive so long, but believe me, you do
survive, it's not fun, but you do.

Anne

See, that seems a bit wonky to me. If she's well into
a routine, I just wouldn't expect to see that much variation in
how long it takes her to get to sleep. I'm not sure if that's
being overtired, being overstimulated, having you nearby, or
what.

you'd better come to our house then! seriously, we are fairly habitual
in the day time at the moment, sometimes DD makes a fuss and naps late,
I'll warn DH it might make her slow to sleep at bedtime and it will make
no difference and other times despite wake up, food and nap all being on
the normal schedule, she can fail to fall asleep by upto 2 hours,
luckily the vast majority of her failure to fall asleep is done without
a fuss. DS is similar, he's past the stage of daytime naps, but he still
from time to time doesn't fall asleep, he's wired a bit differently
and this will then muck his wake up time the next morning, whereas DD
wakes up fairly consistently at the same time. So it doesn't sound
particularly wonky from where I'm standing.

Anne

On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:


So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.

Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,
there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have
us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the
room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be
closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in
the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather
not put her to sleep in there....

If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds
and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally
re-structuring the house, if at all possible.

Yeah, I think you are right there. Now we have to decide which option
to try first. I think first up is putting the crib next to the bed and
just touching her but not picking her up. We'll try that for a week
and see where we are then.

I must have seen the same info as Sue, it does take a long time to form
a habit. For ages, I didn't really believe this, they say a similar
thing about new foods, it takes umpteen times of it being on the plate
for children to try something. Given I'd be making the different meal
components anyway, I kept dumping them on the plate, it was no skin off
my nose, now, there are still a whole heap of things DS doesn't like,
but also lots of things that he now does eat when previously he didn't,
the 21 days to make a habit comes from similar sources, so I've no
reason to disbelieve it. Which means you have to make a smart choice as
to which option to try and then really do it, 100% for at least 3 weeks,
not just one. It's quite clear from all you've said that she's a
sensitive child, I just don't think she is going to be one that gets it
in a few days and not getting it after a week doesn't mean it's doomed
to failure, it may even teach her the opposite, don't underestimate the
possibility she has the ability to figure out that if she fussy for a
week you'll give in. If you decide you aren't going to night nurse then
stick to it, giving in after half an hour is worse than doing it at the
moment of waking - we had night weaned DD, but when we travelled or she
was sick, I gave myself permission to nurse at the moment of waking and
it seemed to work.

Habit forming is HARD WORK. I was lucky with DD, she was a text book
baby, we had great nap habits with no problem, until we switched to a
bed. I determined that I was not going to give in, I saw no evidence she
was ready to not nap and it really did take sheer bloody mindedness from
me that she was going to do it and she was going to do it when I said
she did it and how I said she did it. Some afternoons I put her back in
bed 20+ times over up to about 2 hours time, it meant her nap was
sometimes very late and doing that every afternoon for a couple of weeks
was hard work, but it was worth it, it was August that I did that and
she's still napping every afternoon and rarely to I have to take her
back to her room (we had one day last week where we were back in double
figures, but it seems to have been a one off). I was nowhere near so
strong minded with DS and we never got anywhere near the reliability I
have with DD, I viewed things in to short a time frame, each day it was
easier to not have that fight and do something else, even now, that day
last week, it would have been easier to give in and it did give me a
back ache carrying her that many times - sometimes she was very quiet
and managed to get downstairs before I noticed, mostly I'm on the same
floor and hear the click of the door and get her right back in.

Cheers
Anne

"cjra" wrote in message
...
On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:


So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.

Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,
there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have
us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the
room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be
closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in
the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather
not put her to sleep in there....

If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds
and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally
re-structuring the house, if at all possible.

I might be a little dippy here, apologies if so Can she not sleep in the
room she's in at the moment, and your DH sleep in the room you're in (with
you)?

Lucy x

On Mar 13, 5:03 pm, "lu-lu" wrote:
"cjra" wrote in message

...

On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:

So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.

Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,
there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have
us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the
room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be
closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in
the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather
not put her to sleep in there....

If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds
and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally
re-structuring the house, if at all possible.

I might be a little dippy here, apologies if so Can she not sleep in the
room she's in at the moment, and your DH sleep in the room you're in (with
you)?

I've been trying to convince him of that. He's resisted for a variety
of reasons, not least of which he hates the bed and though moving it
is possible, it's a PITA so I was just hoping to find another solution
before we went that route. We may do that soon.

btw - it's not that I'm making excuses, it's just that I'm trying to
not do a bunch of different things that require substantial effort and
lifestyle change in the hope that _one_ works. Many things we have
tried, and now I'll just take it one by one and see how it goes.