Stubborn 4 year old boy.

One of my three was like that (i.e. stubborn). Absolutely infuriating.
Turns out, he's a guy who likes predictability. He also has sensory
issues, so small things bother him more than what you might think of
as normal (i.e. seams in socks, funny smells, the texture of a fabric
on his skin, noises etc.).

With him, we definitely learned to pick our battles and not to sweat
the small stuff. You don't want to get into a power struggle over
every little thing with a kid like this, or you spend your entire day
enmeshed in a series of pointless negative interactions. Its
exhausting. You have a struggle getting him up, getting him dressed,
getting him to eat breakfast, getting into the car to go to school,
blah, blah, blah and by 9 am, you're
frazzled.

He does best with a routine, and lots of warning about deviations and
transitions i.e. if you are going somewhere, you tell him 30 minutes
before, then 15, then 10 then 5, etc.

When something is non-negotiable, we're totally relentless and
consistent about the consequence. No seatbelt, the car doesn't move.
You pitch a fit in the store, we're going home. End of discussion. We
also try to minimize the amount of attention he gets for tantrums
(i.e. you get carried off to your room, and we'll see you when you're
done).

We also encourage the use of words to express things, so we can
understand what the heck his objection to something is. Labelling
actions and rewarding good behaviors helps - i.e. That's really good
cooperating, Connor, I like the way you explained the problem.

M

Clisby wrote:


Chookie wrote:
[snip]
I'm quite sure I'd have to develop a dictionary before involving
myself there. I was reading a Decorator Quiz (from a North American
magazine online) a while back and was stumped when asked to define
"Pelmet", because none of the answers were right. I can't figure out
how building terms, which are often old words, can come to vary so
much! Particle board, plasterboard, skirting boards, pelmets,
cornices... I'd be worried I was about to do something wrong due to a
failure in translation!


Heck, I never heard of a pelmet. When I looked it up, I realized it was
what I've always called a cornice.

I'd descibe a cornice as a thing that goes between a ceiling and a wall.

A pelment is the thing that hides the top of the curtains.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

Penny Gaines wrote:
Clisby wrote:



Chookie wrote:

[snip]

I'm quite sure I'd have to develop a dictionary before involving
myself there. I was reading a Decorator Quiz (from a North American
magazine online) a while back and was stumped when asked to define
"Pelmet", because none of the answers were right. I can't figure out
how building terms, which are often old words, can come to vary so
much! Particle board, plasterboard, skirting boards, pelmets,
cornices... I'd be worried I was about to do something wrong due to
a failure in translation!


Heck, I never heard of a pelmet. When I looked it up, I realized it
was what I've always called a cornice.


I'd descibe a cornice as a thing that goes between a ceiling and a wall.


A type of molding?

A pelment is the thing that hides the top of the curtains.


Yes, that's what I've called a cornice. Maybe it's really a pelmet.

Clisby

Penny Gaines wrote:
Clisby wrote:



Chookie wrote:

[snip]

I'm quite sure I'd have to develop a dictionary before involving
myself there. I was reading a Decorator Quiz (from a North American
magazine online) a while back and was stumped when asked to define
"Pelmet", because none of the answers were right. I can't figure out
how building terms, which are often old words, can come to vary so
much! Particle board, plasterboard, skirting boards, pelmets,
cornices... I'd be worried I was about to do something wrong due to
a failure in translation!


Heck, I never heard of a pelmet. When I looked it up, I realized it
was what I've always called a cornice.


I'd descibe a cornice as a thing that goes between a ceiling and a wall.

A pelment is the thing that hides the top of the curtains.


From dictionary.com:

pel·met /ˈpɛlmɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled
Pronunciation[pel-mit] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
a decorative cornice or valance at the head of a window or doorway, used
to cover the fastenings from which curtains are hung.

It sounds like "cornice" is a more general term (at least in American
English), which would include "pelmets".

Clisby

In article , Penny Gaines says...

Clisby wrote:


Chookie wrote:
[snip]
I'm quite sure I'd have to develop a dictionary before involving
myself there. I was reading a Decorator Quiz (from a North American
magazine online) a while back and was stumped when asked to define
"Pelmet", because none of the answers were right. I can't figure out
how building terms, which are often old words, can come to vary so
much! Particle board, plasterboard, skirting boards, pelmets,
cornices... I'd be worried I was about to do something wrong due to a
failure in translation!


Heck, I never heard of a pelmet. When I looked it up, I realized it was
what I've always called a cornice.

I'd descibe a cornice as a thing that goes between a ceiling and a wall.

A pelment is the thing that hides the top of the curtains.


Like, a helmet for a portiere? That's why they call it a "pelment"?

grin, duck, and run...

Banty wrote:
In article , Penny Gaines says...
Clisby wrote:

Chookie wrote:
[snip]
I'm quite sure I'd have to develop a dictionary before involving
myself there. I was reading a Decorator Quiz (from a North American
magazine online) a while back and was stumped when asked to define
"Pelmet", because none of the answers were right. I can't figure out
how building terms, which are often old words, can come to vary so
much! Particle board, plasterboard, skirting boards, pelmets,
cornices... I'd be worried I was about to do something wrong due to a
failure in translation!

Heck, I never heard of a pelmet. When I looked it up, I realized it was
what I've always called a cornice.
I'd descibe a cornice as a thing that goes between a ceiling and a wall.

A pelment is the thing that hides the top of the curtains.


Like, a helmet for a portiere? That's why they call it a "pelment"?

grin, duck, and run...

Oy, that sounds French! That's cheating. Use proper English :-)

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

In article , Banty
wrote:

Al la "An Inconvenient
Truth".

Al la instead of a la? Was that a pun or a Freudian slip?

Tupo. (Where would the pun be?)

Al la -- as in Gore.

Please don't tell me there's a PP presentation involved in it. Of all the
buggy products of the Evil Empire, PP has to be the worst.

That's the usual statement about the documentary, even from supporters. A
lot
of it is a Powerpoint presentation. I don't know if another presentation
application was used.

DH is horrified. He is carefully telling me that it is an Apple Keynote
presentation, put together by a Special Company that only does Really Really
Important People's presentations (Duarte).

Ah, life with a Geek...

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/

In article ,
"Stephanie" wrote:

Can you say Amen and Alleluhia? There was one family that coaxed, pleaded,
cajoled, whined and begged. Until they lost their minds and screamed
obsenities. Then they thought there was something wrong with the *kids*. Oy
Vay.

You remember me whingeing about the little boy in DS1's music class, whose
mother whined at him instead of DOING something? Well, that family aren't
back.

But DS1 is now in a class with a 9yo and a 10yo (he is nearly 7). The 10yo
girl is one of those awful tweenies who makes me glad I have boys. Last
week's behavioural highlight (with her Mum present!) was playing with an
electronic game between playing songs on the keyboard -- apparently the thing
wasn't at a point where she could save it. Her Mum actually accepted this! I
would have said "Tough, you shouldn't have started a new level just before
class," and packed it away. But this Mum didn't put it away until the teacher
said it had to go away... and even then she just moved it to the other side of
the keyboard... At least it didn't make noises. This mother doesn't moan
ineffectually all the time, though the (presumably defeated) silence while her
daughter keeps on with low-level rudeness is only a marginal improvement.

A few days later I had a nice little daydream in which the wretched girl
offended *me*, so I got to sketch out a list for her of all the things she was
doing wrong (in the daydream, I showed no rage and I showed no rancor).

Including being unable to sit down without flashing her underpants.

Is there a whole group of respectable middle-class women out there who went to
the Moron Parenting School or something???? Why are they allowing their
children to grow up so lacking in grace? Because I am quite sure that at the
same age, *their* mothers didn't permit the same behaviour!

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/

In article ,
"Stephanie" wrote:

JB: So why haven't the advice-givers noticed that their advice is not
having the predicted effects?

I think it is because the advice is not really followed. Often times
positive discipline is not used at all, but replaced with NO discipline.

A social worker told me that there are parents out there who are not sure that
they have the right (let alone duty and privilege) to discipline (*) their
children. She had been telling me about a kid who at four, was terrorising
his mother -- ie, the mother was truly frightened of him.

God I had some unruly kids in my daycare. The conversation needs to be changed
from smack or do nothing to include actual effective methods of positive
discipline, IMO. I challenge you to go to the library and get and READ the
books I mention above.

And let me add (I am not a provider but a user of day care) that day care is
where you see positive discipline in action and working. And it DOES work,
for a larger group of children where one would presume (given the ratio of
carers to kids) that supervision is lower than it is at home. In the home, I
would guess that the results are even better.

(*) Using this in the broader sense, not as a euphemism for punishment. To
set, teach and enforce standards of conduct.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/

In article ehrebeniuk-43CB71.20141125022008@news, Chookie says...

In article , Banty
wrote:

Al la "An Inconvenient
Truth".

Al la instead of a la? Was that a pun or a Freudian slip?

Tupo. (Where would the pun be?)

Al la -- as in Gore.

Oh. Um...OK.


Please don't tell me there's a PP presentation involved in it. Of all the
buggy products of the Evil Empire, PP has to be the worst.

That's the usual statement about the documentary, even from supporters. A
lot
of it is a Powerpoint presentation. I don't know if another presentation
application was used.

DH is horrified. He is carefully telling me that it is an Apple Keynote
presentation, put together by a Special Company that only does Really Really
Important People's presentations (Duarte).

Ah, life with a Geek...


The World is Relieved to Know

Banty