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TN - Child support termination bill attacked
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have custody of such child] .. .. "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message m... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... snip for length If men are to have equal (or higher) responsibility, they must have equal (or higher) choice. The current system of sexist laws give all choices to women and all responsibility to men (unless the mother chooses otherwise) and there are still some women demanding more options and less responsibility for women. And that is wrong--but taking all responsibility away from men is NOT going to fix that. Yes, it will. It puts the responsibility on the ONE that has the options. If women demand 100% of the options in reproduction with it should come an equal % of responsibility. The solution, of course, is to give both 50% of both responsibility and options. I agree with that, Phil. What I do **not** agree with is the idea that a man can lust after a "newer model" and walk out on his wife of 20 years and their 9, 12, and 16 year old without looking back beause **he** did not give birth to them. Of course not, because you subscribe to the idea of a man being held LEGALLY responsible for the woman's SOLE LEGAL choice. That, of course, is the root of the disagreement, Chris. I see a father as a father--not just some individual providing for some woman's children until he is tired of doing so. You seem to take the opposite stand. For what it's worth, he is both a father AND "some individual". And guess what, he IS providing for some woman's child. And guess what else, according to their rules, he can walk at any time. It simply follows. chuckle He is raising his own children as well, Chris. Of course, for individuals just looking for ways to escape responsibility, that doesn't count, does it? THE problem here is that she has choice, he has responsibility. She can escape the responsibility of her choices by abortion or even after birth by legal abandonment neither choice is available to him. He has no choices beyond conception yet is responsible but only if SHE decides he is and to the extent she allows/demands. And once the time period for legal abandonment is past, and they are raising the children together, that doesn't matter any more. You cannot hark back to the "birth choice" forever. Why not? If, like Chris said, he generously made your house payment for 12 years and suddenly stopped he would have no legal responsibility to continue. A child and a house are 2 different things, Phil. Irrelevant. My husband and I chose to have our children. **Both** of us made the choice. Impossible. Why would his choice to have and raise these children be seen as any different from my choice to do so. Yes, I could have prevented the children from being born--but I didn't. So why do you see the children that *both of us chose to have, and have loved and nurtured, to be only **my** responsibility? SOLE choice = SOLE responsiblity. Quite simple. This sounds eerily like those fathers who found out years after the birth of their children that they weren't their kids yet were forced to continue to support them because that is what the children were accustomed to, not that it was necessary. But **that** is fraud! It is not at all the same thing. Never mind the fact that he "chose" to have them, and he chose to raise them together with the mother. It is EXACTLY the same thing! Perhaps it would be best to limit a man's choices to the same time limit as the mother but currently he has none and it is unlikely he will ever get any. I choose to be more optimistic on the prospect. I know that I talk to a lot of parents in my work, and I am seeing a change in attitudes toward fathers. I am hoping it is a good omen of things to come. Not so long as the "child support" industry is controlled by insane people. And guess what, that is precisely the kind of folks it attracts! The problem is that responsibility should equal choice but in reproductive matters, it doesn't. If women are to have unilateral choice, they also should also accept unilateral responsibility to match that choice. If men are to be at all responsible, they should be given choice equal to that responsibility. But we are talking about older children that the parents have been raising together. Do you really feel that a father should have the legal right to abandon his children at any time with no legal responsibility toward them, Phil? I think his responsibilty should be equal to his legal options. There I agree with you. 50/50 joint custody should be the default. Each parent should pay for their own 50% of the time. If one parent chooses to have the child less than 50% of the time, he/she should pay the other parent suppot to cover the extra time that parent has the child. Nonsense. There should not be a money judgement, EVER! If a parent decides to move and have the child 100% of the time, that parent should pay for 100% of the expenses. It's all about holding people responsible for their own choices! Except, of course, when it comes to the choice of giving birth. |
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