Driving in the car with Grandma

On Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:07:11 -0400, Ericka Kammerer
wrote:

Nan wrote:
On Fri, 11 Jul 2008 09:47:34 -0400, Ericka Kammerer
wrote:


Um, Mom is not doing Grandma a favor by allowing
Grandma to sit. Grandma is doing *Mom* a favor. Just because
you love your grandkids doesn't mean regular babysitting isn't
work.

Really? It's not a favor or a gift? Gee, when I'd pick up my ds and
my mom would say, "thanks for letting me have him over" I guess she
shouldn't have felt that way.

No, it is not a favor or a gift to allow your mother
to babysit. It is a gracious thing to enable a relationship
between your children and their grandparents, but that can
be done without imposing on the grandparents for babysitting
services. Taking care of an 11mo is *work*. Changing diapers,
fixing meals, cleaning up, soothing when fussy, etc. take time
and effort. The fun bit is bouncing the baby and then handing
him to his parents when he gets fussy, or feeding him the
treats while his parents get him to eat his broccoli, or
playing peekaboo but handing him back when he needs a diaper
change.
Do you really believe that your mom found babysitting
all fun and no work? I think it's more likely that it was work
at times (and maybe even more than she bargained for some days),
but that she was pleased to be able to offer her daughter some
respite and build a relationship with her grandchild. Would you
have expected her to say, "I enjoyed the bouncing and the peekaboo,
but not so much the diaper changing or cleaning the spitup or
the half hour he fussed and nothing seemed to soothe him?"
When I sit for a friend or family member, I'll tell them it
was fun and I enjoyed it as well. That's partly because I
do enjoy building a relationship with the child, but it's also
because I chose to do a favor for the adult so that they could
attend to their business without worrying. Complaining about
the work would only make them feel guilty, which is not my goal.

I know for sure that when my mother takes my kids it is
sometimes an inconvenience and sometimes a royal pain. She does
it because she loves my kids and because she loves me and because
we're family and help each other (and that's a two way street).
I know that she doesn't always tell me about the rough bits, and
I don't tell her when her dogs are a pain in the patoot to sit for
either. Why would either of us ruin a good favor by whining about
it?

Best wishes,
Ericka

My point is, I never whined nor did my mom. You read waaaay too much
into some posts sometimes Ericka.

Nan