List Hosts' Name on Baby Shower Invitation??

I am expecting my first child and my mother and two sisters are making
a group effort to organize a baby shower for me that will be held at
my home. I am sure that my mother-in-law will also want to contribute
to the effort of the shower. I am wondering what is the best way to
acknowledge (or not) that they are putting the shower on for me. Like
I said, it's being held at my house, and I am making and sending out
my own invitations and keeping track of who is coming, but they are
coordinating all of the refreshments, games, decorations, etc.

I was offended recently when I put a lot of effort into a baby shower
(supposedly only *helping* my mother-in-law put on the shower when in
reality I coordinated almost all of it) and only my mother-in-law's
name appeared on the invitation (I was also 5 months pregnant at the
time). I would not have thought twice about *no* host being listed on
the invitation, but to have only listed the name of one of the two
hosts seemed very offensive. Since there may be as many as 5
different women contributing to my shower (and invitations have
limited space anyways), would it be acceptable to say "Hosted by
family and friends" or "Please join family and friends at a baby
shower in honor of..."? I just don't want to make anyone feel that
their efforts are not appreciated. Thanks for any advice you all can
offer!!

"GarciaGM" wrote in message

I am expecting my first child and my mother and two sisters are making
a group effort to organize a baby shower for me that will be held at
my home. I am sure that my mother-in-law will also want to contribute
to the effort of the shower. I am wondering what is the best way to
acknowledge (or not) that they are putting the shower on for me. Like
I said, it's being held at my house, and I am making and sending out
my own invitations and keeping track of who is coming, but they are
coordinating all of the refreshments, games, decorations, etc.

I was offended recently when I put a lot of effort into a baby shower
(supposedly only *helping* my mother-in-law put on the shower when in
reality I coordinated almost all of it) and only my mother-in-law's
name appeared on the invitation (I was also 5 months pregnant at the
time). I would not have thought twice about *no* host being listed on
the invitation, but to have only listed the name of one of the two
hosts seemed very offensive. Since there may be as many as 5
different women contributing to my shower (and invitations have
limited space anyways), would it be acceptable to say "Hosted by
family and friends" or "Please join family and friends at a baby
shower in honor of..."? I just don't want to make anyone feel that
their efforts are not appreciated. Thanks for any advice you all can
offer!!

Some of my co-worker/friends hosted a baby shower for me last Saturday.
Several people were involved in the planning of it and most of the people
invited were people I know through my affiliation with the organization. On
the invitation in the pre-printed "host" section, the main hostess just
wrote "Friends from Organizationname." Then, the RSVP section had her name &
the name of the woman at whose house the shower was held. I acknowledged the
main three hosts personally after the shower by giving them each a small
gift & a letter.

I know this isn't what you were asking about & please don't take offense,
but as Dagny sort of touched on, you probably want to avoid seeming like
you're throwing this shower for yourself. If I were you, I would
*definitely* have someone else send the invitations instead of sending them
out yourself. Since there are quite a few contributing hosts, why don't you
suggest that one of them take on invitation-sending responsibility? You
could still make them, but have someone else write them & mail them from
their address. This also seems like it may be a particularly good idea
because of the shower being held at your house as well.

Best wishes! I hope you have a nice time!
--
Em
edd 9/23/03

I think the family adn friends is a great idea. No one gets left out and it
doesnt take up as much room as 5 names would.

GarciaGM wrote:

I am expecting my first child and my mother and two sisters are making
a group effort to organize a baby shower for me that will be held at
my home. I am sure that my mother-in-law will also want to contribute
to the effort of the shower. I am wondering what is the best way to
acknowledge (or not) that they are putting the shower on for me. Like
I said, it's being held at my house, and I am making and sending out
my own invitations and keeping track of who is coming, but they are
coordinating all of the refreshments, games, decorations, etc.

I was offended recently when I put a lot of effort into a baby shower
(supposedly only *helping* my mother-in-law put on the shower when in
reality I coordinated almost all of it) and only my mother-in-law's
name appeared on the invitation (I was also 5 months pregnant at the
time). I would not have thought twice about *no* host being listed on
the invitation, but to have only listed the name of one of the two
hosts seemed very offensive. Since there may be as many as 5
different women contributing to my shower (and invitations have
limited space anyways), would it be acceptable to say "Hosted by
family and friends" or "Please join family and friends at a baby
shower in honor of..."? I just don't want to make anyone feel that
their efforts are not appreciated. Thanks for any advice you all can
offer!!


You've got an even bigger issue--it is considered *very*
inappropriate for you to throw yourself a baby shower (looks like
gift grubbing), so it is *essential* that the invitations go out
in the hosts' names, not yours. Furthermore, it's only fair for
the guests to know who the hosts are so that they know whom to
call if they have questions. If you don't lists specific hosts,
people don't know anyone to call but you, and they may feel
awkward calling you to enquire about gift issues or such.
So that leaves you with the issue of which hosts to
put on the invitation. Frankly, this is an issue that should
be decided among the hosts themselves--it's their job. They
might decide that they all should be listed, or they might
decide to designate one person as the "official" host who will
handle any questions guests might have and then acknowledge
the others by thanking them at the shower, or whatever.
If you are making your own invitations, there's likely
a way to squeeze on all the names that need to be on there. I
know it can be a bit awkward, but it's really one of those issues
where I think it's important to do the right thing. Ideally,
the hosts will also keep in mind that "helping" and "hosting"
are not necessarily the same thing. The host plans, coordinates,
and manages the party. Helpers assist, but don't have the same
level of responsibility for ensuring the successful operation of
the party. It may well be that some of your possible hosts
are really helpers and see their role as such, in which case
they won't be offended at not being listed as hosts. But
ultimately, it all depends on their perceptions, so they really
have to make the decision. If I were you, I'd punt to the chief
host and ask her to talk to the others and sort out which names
need to head the invitation.

Best wishes,
Ericka