Excerpt: The MomsTown Guide to Getting It All

The following is an excerpt from the book The MomsTown Guide to Getting It
All: A Life Makeover for Stay-at-Home Moms
by Mary Goulet and Heather Reider
Published by Hyperion; August 2005; $15.00US/$20.00CAN; 1-4013-0787-6
Copyright © 2005 Mary Goulet-Rendler and Heather Reider


SAHM Amnesia

Stay-at-home moms often complain that since having children, their minds
have turned to mush and they often forget things. One of our moms, Krissy,
told us, "I was appointed PTA vice president once. I set up an orientation
meeting for the previous year's board and the incoming board. Everybody
showed up for it -- except me!"

Yes, moms do forget things. We'll admit, there is truth to this, but it
doesn't have to stay that way. Your mind is agile and efficient, and if you
want to be more alert and have more intellectual stimulation, the only thing
standing in your way is your own perceived limitations. Last year, Heather
and her husband actually forgot their anniversary! It shocked both of them.
Between work, the kids' school commitments, friends, and family, it was lost
in the shuffle. Often forgetting a big event like that is a wake-up call
that you need to give your schedule and organizational methods (and possibly
your relationship with your husband) more attention. It is also important
not to be too hard on yourself when you inevitably forget.

One MomsTown member, Fran, said, "I forget things all of the time. Now I
finally understand why I sometimes thought my own mother was a complete
flake when I was little. With the kids and all of our schedules, there just
isn't enough room in my brain for everything anymore. Part of it is the fact
that there is suddenly so much to do just to get through the day. So even
when I remember what I am supposed to do at that moment, on the way to do
that, I run into three or four things that demand equal attention, and
before I know it, I've forgotten what my original task was."

Forgetting is just part of being a mom. That's a fact, but it can be
curtailed by strong organizational methods. When you do forget, you can't
beat yourself up for it. It's hard to remember every engagement your kids
have, your obligations, your husband's obligations, your friends' birthdays,
and even your kids' friends' birthdays. Frankly, it is impossible. But there
are things you can do to avoid frequent forgetfulness. Organization is a key
element of conquering forgetfulness. You can figure out a system for
remembering your daughter's ballet recital, the school bake sale, your
appointment with a new client, and everyone's birthday.

Some moms just have difficulty getting out of the door with everything they
need. Said one mom, Lorie, "Once I'm out of the house, it's remembering
everything that poses the problem. I can usually get all of my daughter's
stuff together, but I sometimes find I am out and about and my list of stops
is still sitting on the entrance-hall table."

Earlier in the book, we discussed getting an organizer as being crucial to
your success and your commitments. Our program encourages and reminds you to
be aware of treating your commitments and your life with professional
respect in the most basic, simple ways. Grab your organizer and do the
following:

a.. Write reminders of all of your family's and friends' birthdays on your
calendar. Note the actual day, but also write a reminder in two weeks ahead
of time.
b.. When you receive invitations to weddings, write the date on your
calendar, but also write a reminder as to how early you need to book and
schedule travel plans, accommodations, etc. If possible, this should be up
to three months ahead of time.
c.. As soon as you make doctor appointments for your kids or you, write
them down.
d.. Use brightly colored stickers to denote regular events, including:
Newborns' shots
Little League games
Ballet lessons
Dentist appointments
e.. When you know you're going out, begin getting everything ready early.
Put things by the door as you think of them. You can even begin doing this
the night before if you have to leave early in the morning and know you need
quite a few things for your errands.
As you work toward cutting down on the forgetfulness and having a more
organized schedule you honor and respect, try to remember that mistakes
happen and everyone forgets; even though you're a goddess, remember, you're
also human!

Excerpted from MOMSTOWN GUIDE TO GETTING IT ALL by Mary Goulet and Heather
Reider. Published by Hyperion. Copyright (c) 2005 Mary Goulet-Rendler,
Heather Reider. All rights reserved. Available wherever books are sold.

Authors
Careerwomen before they became moms, Heather Reider and Mary Goulet were
staying home with their kids when they started to wonder how they could add
purpose, goals, and creativity to their everyday lives. While they felt
grateful for the opportunity to raise their children, they knew they weren't
being good role models unless they were living their own lives to the
fullest. So they created MomsTown -- a website, newsletter, internet radio
program, and online community where thousands of moms connect with their
peers and discover fresh perspectives on their daily lives. Visit them on
the web at www.MomsTown.com.