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#11
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CS, salary and which way to go?
On Apr 2, 6:34*pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote:
"whatamess" wrote in message ... On Apr 2, 11:35 am, "jwhit" u42483@uwe wrote: Does anyone know how to find the email addresses of the case workers for DCSE in Virginia. I know her name but do not kow their format! scaredfather wrote: We are trying to figure out the best way to go through a move...what would you do, based on the fact that the morons at the CSE office [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] Which would you do? I feel your pain brother! In Utah we have the same bullcrap. This is what I have going for me: I decide my own income (I am an entrepreneur) I'm a college dropout(I think in the long run this is about the only time dropping out of college will make me money.) I recently lost about $3200 net a month due to losing some of my contracts.I called the collection agency that is involved w/my case. I mentioned to them my situation and the lady on the other end of the phone said to me: "Why don't you start looking for more work. If you want to file for a reduction in child support payments it will take about a year just to review your case." I hung up on the bitch. I guess I lost this one. I have about 12 more yrs of this bullcrap. It's time to change the playing field. After reading this Ghandi quote, I started thinking this way.."It's our moral duty to disobey unjust laws." Good luck and take care.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - It is all crazy...Actually, my mother who has always been the "poor woman, men are scum and should have to pay" has harassed me quite a bit about the whole CS mess and me complaining. Her view was that you paid a percentage of your income, but that it was a reasonable percentage...that if you changed jobs, like in our case, due to move, etc...that they automatically reduced the CS...that the only thing counted in CS was normal wages, and you could deduct your 401K money, your retirement savings, the costs for YOUR stuff, house, blah, blah... ---------------------------- The stuff that gets me is the large number of people who have no experience with the CS system who believe CS payments are tax deductible and NCP fathers can claim their children as dependents on their tax returns. *And when you talk about CS being set using imputed incomes they claim no judge would allow that to happen. *Or if you mention child custody outcomes are something other than 50/50 they don't believe you since both parents in their minds have an equal chance to get custody. *And the kicker is the belief CS must be spent on the children.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Bob...oh yes, my mother had that view as well. Although I have told her otherwise, I have a feeling she still thinks I'm lying... But yes, a while ago she did mention that it couldn't be so bad because we got the tax deduction...she also said it was IMPOSSIBLE for a judge to impute income...She also thinks we have a great chance to get custody because it is just so darn easy for a man...And yes, she also has stated that it can't be so much because "don't we look at the RECEIPTS" to ensure it is spent on the kid...AMAZING... |
#12
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CS, salary and which way to go?
On Apr 2, 6:34*pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote:
"whatamess" wrote in message ... On Apr 2, 11:35 am, "jwhit" u42483@uwe wrote: Does anyone know how to find the email addresses of the case workers for DCSE in Virginia. I know her name but do not kow their format! scaredfather wrote: We are trying to figure out the best way to go through a move...what would you do, based on the fact that the morons at the CSE office [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] Which would you do? I feel your pain brother! In Utah we have the same bullcrap. This is what I have going for me: I decide my own income (I am an entrepreneur) I'm a college dropout(I think in the long run this is about the only time dropping out of college will make me money.) I recently lost about $3200 net a month due to losing some of my contracts.I called the collection agency that is involved w/my case. I mentioned to them my situation and the lady on the other end of the phone said to me: "Why don't you start looking for more work. If you want to file for a reduction in child support payments it will take about a year just to review your case." I hung up on the bitch. I guess I lost this one. I have about 12 more yrs of this bullcrap. It's time to change the playing field. After reading this Ghandi quote, I started thinking this way.."It's our moral duty to disobey unjust laws." Good luck and take care.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - It is all crazy...Actually, my mother who has always been the "poor woman, men are scum and should have to pay" has harassed me quite a bit about the whole CS mess and me complaining. Her view was that you paid a percentage of your income, but that it was a reasonable percentage...that if you changed jobs, like in our case, due to move, etc...that they automatically reduced the CS...that the only thing counted in CS was normal wages, and you could deduct your 401K money, your retirement savings, the costs for YOUR stuff, house, blah, blah... ---------------------------- The stuff that gets me is the large number of people who have no experience with the CS system who believe CS payments are tax deductible and NCP fathers can claim their children as dependents on their tax returns. *And when you talk about CS being set using imputed incomes they claim no judge would allow that to happen. *Or if you mention child custody outcomes are something other than 50/50 they don't believe you since both parents in their minds have an equal chance to get custody. *And the kicker is the belief CS must be spent on the children.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - You know, I'll tell you...my poor uncle, my MOTHER's brother, had a CS case years ago...I'm 39 and my cousin is my age...her parents divorced when we were around 5 years of age...AT THAT TIME, idiot ex-wife married a LAWYER...my uncle worked for IBM...he was told to pay 600USD a month in child support for 2 children!!! Can you imagine what 600USD a month were 30 years ago? Needless to say, he did for a while, but when he lost his job, he couldn't...he tried as much as he could until he gave up and started taking odd jobs and moving every year or so to avoid jail...Meanwhile, EVEN WHEN HE PAID...his idiot ex-wife would not allow him to see the kids... I remember many days he would tell us he was going to pick them up and would then return to my grandmother's house without them...idiot mom would make up a story how they went out, blah, blah...ALL THESE YEARS my mother has defended that witch! All these years...by the way, her lawyer husband passed away a couple of years ago and she actually had the nerve to tell my mother to tell my uncle that she was again SINGLE and NOW HAD LOTS OF MONEY...to call her anytime...Can you imagine??? Anyway, I have a theory that sometimes when we are unjust to people, we either pay for it (Karma) or we pay for it through seeing our kids struggle with whatever we were unjust about...IE. she's now seeing how unfair it is to me and my son... |
#13
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CS, salary and which way to go?
On Apr 2, 6:34 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote:
---------------------------- The stuff that gets me is the large number of people who have no experience with the CS system who believe CS payments are tax deductible and NCP fathers can claim their children as dependents on their tax returns. And when you talk about CS being set using imputed incomes they claim no judge would allow that to happen. Or if you mention child custody outcomes are something other than 50/50 they don't believe you since both parents in their minds have an equal chance to get custody. And the kicker is the belief CS must be spent on the children. yeah...I think this is what bothers me the most. I've been in some form of NCP group for 14 years now; my extortion...oops...I mean my parental obligation (insane systems become parabolic when confronted with reality)...will end (in theory) in 2.3 years when my son is 22 and 1/2. The general public (those not gaining or losing from the CS insanity) has deep pre-conceived notions based on belief in some 5th grade civics class about the freedom and rights guaranteed to all citizens. Even when you prove to them just what is happening to you then the most you get is just kind of a dazed look and a shrug. Which I guess I can't blame them for since it's not their life being shredded. But I don't know how to establish accurate public awareness. At first I thought it was men's stoic nature (since most NCP's are men) to endure and not complain. I expected that to change as men eventually would become more organized and vocal and as more second-wives became aware. But even when there are some demonstrations or newspaper reports of an abusive situation the public dismisses it as a one-off. I have taught myself how to defend and even take the offensive in the no-man's-land of self-representation as a NCP with only moderate cost to my sanity ;-), basically forcing my ex and the courts to adhere to the existing draconian laws. But even that small victory is more than many NCP's can claim. I know how to deal with this individually but I've become extremely pessimistic about this ever changing at a societal level. Don in MA |
#14
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CS, salary and which way to go?
On Apr 3, 10:13*am, don_1228 wrote:
On Apr 2, 6:34 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote: ---------------------------- The stuff that gets me is the large number of people who have no experience with the CS system who believe CS payments are tax deductible and NCP fathers can claim their children as dependents on their tax returns. *And when you talk about CS being set using imputed incomes they claim no judge would allow that to happen. *Or if you mention child custody outcomes are something other than 50/50 they don't believe you since both parents in their minds have an equal chance to get custody. *And the kicker is the belief CS must be spent on the children. yeah...I think this is what bothers me the most. I've been in some form of NCP group for 14 years now; my extortion...oops...I mean my parental obligation (insane systems become parabolic when confronted with reality)...will end (in theory) in 2.3 years when my son is 22 and 1/2. The general public (those not gaining or losing from the CS insanity) has deep pre-conceived notions based on belief in some 5th grade civics class about the freedom and rights guaranteed to all citizens. Even when you prove to them just what is happening to you then the most you get is just kind of a dazed look and a shrug. Which I guess I can't blame them for since it's not their life being shredded. But I don't know how to establish accurate public awareness. At first I thought it was men's stoic nature (since most NCP's are men) to endure and not complain. I expected that to change as men eventually would become more organized and vocal and as more second-wives became aware. But even when there are some demonstrations or newspaper reports of an abusive situation the public dismisses it as a one-off. I have taught myself how to defend and even take the offensive in the no-man's-land of self-representation as a NCP with only moderate cost to my sanity ;-), basically forcing my ex and the courts to adhere to the existing draconian laws. But even that small victory is more than many NCP's can claim. I know how to deal with this individually but I've become extremely pessimistic about this ever changing at a societal level. Don in MA Well, I tell you, I will talk to anyone who will listen. My sister, mother and father all thought I was just making things up...They thought I was evil and not being fair...it's not until now that they are starting to see the reality... I think part of the problem is that many think we are making it up... I came up with a good analysis a while back and hopefully will start getting the word out to as many people as I possibly can in the next few months. We're in the process of moving and once I have more time in my hands, I plan to pursuing getting the word out. One of the major issues is that people just think we are making it up. I know with my mother, she thought I was making it all up UNTIL I showed her the actual laws filed in Texas...Her jaw almost dropped when she saw the laws...So, I think that we need to "disengage" in a way, not really tell our story and focus on letting people know what the laws are, SHOW them what they are... only then, will people understand and believe us. I had made a blog with "new laws that Texas wants to pass for parents"...Basically, what I did was take EVERY SINGLE Family Law and applied them to "ALL PARENTS", not just divorced...I showed it to my sister and my dad a while back and they both told me, there's NO WAY the state would do that... that is ridiculous...you're making this up...then I showed them the actual LAWS for Texas and told them, that they were right, that Texas was NOT making new laws for all parents, that they ALREADY had all those laws for divorced parents...They almost passed out when I showed them...I really think we need to approach it in a very different way otherwise, the crazy CPs out there will cry and people will continue to believe them. |
#15
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CS, salary and which way to go?
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have custody of such child] .. .. "whatamess" wrote in message ... On Apr 2, 11:35 am, "jwhit" u42483@uwe wrote: Does anyone know how to find the email addresses of the case workers for DCSE in Virginia. I know her name but do not kow their format! scaredfather wrote: We are trying to figure out the best way to go through a move...what would you do, based on the fact that the morons at the CSE office [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] Which would you do? I feel your pain brother! In Utah we have the same bullcrap. This is what I have going for me: I decide my own income (I am an entrepreneur) I'm a college dropout(I think in the long run this is about the only time dropping out of college will make me money.) I recently lost about $3200 net a month due to losing some of my contracts.I called the collection agency that is involved w/my case. I mentioned to them my situation and the lady on the other end of the phone said to me: "Why don't you start looking for more work. If you want to file for a reduction in child support payments it will take about a year just to review your case." I hung up on the bitch. I guess I lost this one. I have about 12 more yrs of this bullcrap. It's time to change the playing field. After reading this Ghandi quote, I started thinking this way.."It's our moral duty to disobey unjust laws." Good luck and take care.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - It is all crazy...Actually, my mother who has always been the "poor woman, men are scum and should have to pay" has harassed me quite a bit about the whole CS mess and me complaining. Her view was that you paid a percentage of your income, but that it was a reasonable percentage...that if you changed jobs, like in our case, due to move, etc...that they automatically reduced the CS...that the only thing counted in CS was normal wages, and you could deduct your 401K money, your retirement savings, the costs for YOUR stuff, house, blah, blah... Well, she's basically told me that I am making up this nightmare...that it can't POSSIBLY be this way...Until just now that I showed her ALL THE LAWS of the state of Texas...those that say it could even include CS that YOU receive on behalf of another child, rental property income, etc...she about lost it! HAHA! She feels we should go for custody, because surely we would get it since BM is a bad influence on SD...and that because we pay her, that we'd be saving money anyway even if idiot BM didn't pay...YEAH RIGHT! I pretty much told her that I would NOT do it...BM WILL PAY US or I will NOT do it...not because we need the money, but because of this nightmare, she has taken money that belongs to MY son, not her and has taken us from perfect credit, savings, etc...to almost financial ruin and she would NOT be paying for SD, but paying ME back for all she stole...Of course, my mother STILL doesn't think that's fair to idiot BM...I think next time she suggests we take custody and we don't charge BM cs, I'll suggest SHE pay for the lawyer and that SHE pay CS to us, since she doesn't think BM should pay it. Again, I don't think it should be required, but at this point, sorry, I will not allow someone who has done such harm to my family financially to get a free ride... Anyway, sorry for the one who still has 12 years...we have 6 more years, if SD decides not to fail again in the next 6 years...and already will be paying until she's 3 mos short of her 20tht birthday! How lovely... ******************************8 Flunking is indeed a lucrative maneuver by these mothers. |
#16
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CS, salary and which way to go?
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have custody of such child] .. .. "whatamess" wrote in message ... On Apr 2, 6:34 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote: "whatamess" wrote in message ... On Apr 2, 11:35 am, "jwhit" u42483@uwe wrote: Does anyone know how to find the email addresses of the case workers for DCSE in Virginia. I know her name but do not kow their format! scaredfather wrote: We are trying to figure out the best way to go through a move...what would you do, based on the fact that the morons at the CSE office [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] Which would you do? I feel your pain brother! In Utah we have the same bullcrap. This is what I have going for me: I decide my own income (I am an entrepreneur) I'm a college dropout(I think in the long run this is about the only time dropping out of college will make me money.) I recently lost about $3200 net a month due to losing some of my contracts.I called the collection agency that is involved w/my case. I mentioned to them my situation and the lady on the other end of the phone said to me: "Why don't you start looking for more work. If you want to file for a reduction in child support payments it will take about a year just to review your case." I hung up on the bitch. I guess I lost this one. I have about 12 more yrs of this bullcrap. It's time to change the playing field. After reading this Ghandi quote, I started thinking this way.."It's our moral duty to disobey unjust laws." Good luck and take care.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - It is all crazy...Actually, my mother who has always been the "poor woman, men are scum and should have to pay" has harassed me quite a bit about the whole CS mess and me complaining. Her view was that you paid a percentage of your income, but that it was a reasonable percentage...that if you changed jobs, like in our case, due to move, etc...that they automatically reduced the CS...that the only thing counted in CS was normal wages, and you could deduct your 401K money, your retirement savings, the costs for YOUR stuff, house, blah, blah... ---------------------------- The stuff that gets me is the large number of people who have no experience with the CS system who believe CS payments are tax deductible and NCP fathers can claim their children as dependents on their tax returns. And when you talk about CS being set using imputed incomes they claim no judge would allow that to happen. Or if you mention child custody outcomes are something other than 50/50 they don't believe you since both parents in their minds have an equal chance to get custody. And the kicker is the belief CS must be spent on the children.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - You know, I'll tell you...my poor uncle, my MOTHER's brother, had a CS case years ago...I'm 39 and my cousin is my age...her parents divorced when we were around 5 years of age...AT THAT TIME, idiot ex-wife married a LAWYER...my uncle worked for IBM...he was told to pay 600USD a month in child support for 2 children!!! Can you imagine what 600USD a month were 30 years ago? Needless to say, he did for a while, but when he lost his job, he couldn't...he tried as much as he could until he gave up and started taking odd jobs and moving every year or so to avoid jail...Meanwhile, EVEN WHEN HE PAID...his idiot ex-wife would not allow him to see the kids... I remember many days he would tell us he was going to pick them up and would then return to my grandmother's house without them...idiot mom would make up a story how they went out, blah, blah...ALL THESE YEARS my mother has defended that witch! All these years...by the way, her lawyer husband passed away a couple of years ago and she actually had the nerve to tell my mother to tell my uncle that she was again SINGLE and NOW HAD LOTS OF MONEY...to call her anytime...Can you imagine??? ********************** Love of money is the root of ALL evil. ********************* Anyway, I have a theory that sometimes when we are unjust to people, we either pay for it (Karma) or we pay for it through seeing our kids struggle with whatever we were unjust about...IE. she's now seeing how unfair it is to me and my son... |
#17
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CS, salary and which way to go?
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have custody of such child] .. .. "don_1228" wrote in message ... On Apr 2, 6:34 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote: ---------------------------- The stuff that gets me is the large number of people who have no experience with the CS system who believe CS payments are tax deductible and NCP fathers can claim their children as dependents on their tax returns. And when you talk about CS being set using imputed incomes they claim no judge would allow that to happen. Or if you mention child custody outcomes are something other than 50/50 they don't believe you since both parents in their minds have an equal chance to get custody. And the kicker is the belief CS must be spent on the children. yeah...I think this is what bothers me the most. I've been in some form of NCP group for 14 years now; my extortion...oops...I mean my parental obligation (insane systems become parabolic when confronted with reality)...will end (in theory) in 2.3 years when my son is 22 and 1/2. The general public (those not gaining or losing from the CS insanity) has deep pre-conceived notions based on belief in some 5th grade civics class about the freedom and rights guaranteed to all citizens. Even when you prove to them just what is happening to you then the most you get is just kind of a dazed look and a shrug. That's ok. When one of these folks talk about their cancer, just shrug back and say "oh well". Sometimes, tasting one's OWN medicine can be quite therapeutic. Which I guess I can't blame them for since it's not their life being shredded. But I don't know how to establish accurate public awareness. At first I thought it was men's stoic nature (since most NCP's are men) to endure and not complain. I expected that to change as men eventually would become more organized and vocal and as more second-wives became aware. But even when there are some demonstrations or newspaper reports of an abusive situation the public dismisses it as a one-off. I have taught myself how to defend and even take the offensive in the no-man's-land of self-representation as a NCP with only moderate cost to my sanity ;-), basically forcing my ex and the courts to adhere to the existing draconian laws. But even that small victory is more than many NCP's can claim. I know how to deal with this individually but I've become extremely pessimistic about this ever changing at a societal level. Don in MA |
#18
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CS, salary and which way to go?
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have custody of such child] .. .. "whatamess" wrote in message ... On Apr 3, 10:13 am, don_1228 wrote: On Apr 2, 6:34 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote: ---------------------------- The stuff that gets me is the large number of people who have no experience with the CS system who believe CS payments are tax deductible and NCP fathers can claim their children as dependents on their tax returns. And when you talk about CS being set using imputed incomes they claim no judge would allow that to happen. Or if you mention child custody outcomes are something other than 50/50 they don't believe you since both parents in their minds have an equal chance to get custody. And the kicker is the belief CS must be spent on the children. yeah...I think this is what bothers me the most. I've been in some form of NCP group for 14 years now; my extortion...oops...I mean my parental obligation (insane systems become parabolic when confronted with reality)...will end (in theory) in 2.3 years when my son is 22 and 1/2. The general public (those not gaining or losing from the CS insanity) has deep pre-conceived notions based on belief in some 5th grade civics class about the freedom and rights guaranteed to all citizens. Even when you prove to them just what is happening to you then the most you get is just kind of a dazed look and a shrug. Which I guess I can't blame them for since it's not their life being shredded. But I don't know how to establish accurate public awareness. At first I thought it was men's stoic nature (since most NCP's are men) to endure and not complain. I expected that to change as men eventually would become more organized and vocal and as more second-wives became aware. But even when there are some demonstrations or newspaper reports of an abusive situation the public dismisses it as a one-off. I have taught myself how to defend and even take the offensive in the no-man's-land of self-representation as a NCP with only moderate cost to my sanity ;-), basically forcing my ex and the courts to adhere to the existing draconian laws. But even that small victory is more than many NCP's can claim. I know how to deal with this individually but I've become extremely pessimistic about this ever changing at a societal level. Don in MA Well, I tell you, I will talk to anyone who will listen. My sister, mother and father all thought I was just making things up...They thought I was evil and not being fair...it's not until now that they are starting to see the reality... I think part of the problem is that many think we are making it up... I came up with a good analysis a while back and hopefully will start getting the word out to as many people as I possibly can in the next few months. We're in the process of moving and once I have more time in my hands, I plan to pursuing getting the word out. ************************ The only GOOD thing about this is the more people who get burned by such system, the more opposition to it as well as people who become wise to their evil agenda. Since the goal of the "child support" people is to rip off as many men as possible, rest-assured they will continue to increase their pool of victims. Eventually, it will arive at a pont of equilibrium where the forces opposed to it will be on an even par. But make no mistake about it; the number of victims will by FAR have to exceed the number of crooks in the system only because the thugs have BIGGER guns! *********************** One of the major issues is that people just think we are making it up. I know with my mother, she thought I was making it all up UNTIL I showed her the actual laws filed in Texas...Her jaw almost dropped when she saw the laws...So, I think that we need to "disengage" in a way, not really tell our story and focus on letting people know what the laws are, SHOW them what they are... only then, will people understand and believe us. I had made a blog with "new laws that Texas wants to pass for parents"...Basically, what I did was take EVERY SINGLE Family Law and applied them to "ALL PARENTS", not just divorced...I showed it to my sister and my dad a while back and they both told me, there's NO WAY the state would do that... that is ridiculous...you're making this up...then I showed them the actual LAWS for Texas and told them, that they were right, that Texas was NOT making new laws for all parents, that they ALREADY had all those laws for divorced parents...They almost passed out when I showed them...I really think we need to approach it in a very different way otherwise, the crazy CPs out there will cry and people will continue to believe them. ********************* Such laws are the consequence of a society with TWO classes of citizens. |
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