Dad's Visitation Responsibility

On Oct 9, 10:48 pm, "DB" wrote:
"Chris" wrote in

jackets, and coats are too small. I spent close to $1,100.00 last
winter, and close to $500.00 this summer.

The above fiscal recklessness is typical of people that think they are
somehow owed "child support".

Is it any wonder they can make ends meet with the thousands of tax free
money they get?

Crybaby! You're just mad because the majority doesn't share your
opinion about child support. If they did, the institution of child
support would never have been introduced to the masses. You have like
40 people (maybe) in your little group, and yet there are millions of
child support cases. You are a big fish in a little pond on the
internet, but in reality, you're swimmikng in a fish bowl. The real
world acknowledges a fathers responsibility, and nothing you post is
going to change that!

"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Oct 8, 7:00 pm, "Gini" wrote:
"Lvnsurpriseaz via FamilyKB.com" wrote What are you thinking Child
support is for? It isn't just for shoes,
clothes
and food. It for a portion of everything I need to keep a home running
and a
car running for the childs benefit as well. CS is for all household
expenses,
vehicle expenses, ontop of clothes, shoes, haircuts, food,
entertainment,
etc.

====
No, it's NOT "for a portion of everything [you] need to keep a home
running
and a car running."
It is NOT "for all household expenses, vehicle expenses..." The amount of
child support applicable
for household expenses is negligible. For instance, the amount of
utilities
to which child support can be applied is one half (or the NCP's percent
share)
of the difference *between the amount needed for the parent and other
family
members* and the amount
directly attributible to the child(ren) of the order. ie--Only the amount
of
electricity directly used by the child of the order.
It is not an even split between all household members. The NCP is
NOT responsible for one dime of the CPs and other family members'
household
needs. Rent is somewhat easier to define--
If a one bedroom apartment rents for 400. per month and a two bedroom
rents
for 465. per month, the child support
share of rent would be one half (or the NCPs percent share) of the
difference. In this case, CS for rent would be one half
of $65.00., or 32.50 per month--assuming no other children in the
household. If there is even one other child, the CS contribution for rent
would be even less or none at all especially if the child shares a room
with
a child not of the order. Auto expenses--The NCP is not responsible for
half
the cost of keeping your car on the road. You are required to insure your
car no matter how many kids you have. Your car is required to have tires
and
other maintenance, regardless how many kids are riding in it. Unless the
child is a driver, no CS is to be allocated for car insurance and very
little for auto maintenance. These numbers are even less when there are
more
family members not of the order. It appears, from what you've written
here,
that you are grossly mismanaging your child's support money by diverting
it
to the household pool which is not permitted.

If only Gini had put this much passion forth toward her OWN
children....

You really need to get to know a person's story before you make such
comments. She and her ex never went through the courts for CS. They worked
together as loving, caring parents to rear their children, even after they
split up. Too bad all parents coul not handle their child support issues in
such a mature, loving way, instead of indulging themselves in the
acrimonious, adversarial family court system.

"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in message
ps.com...
On Oct 9, 10:48 pm, "DB" wrote:
"Chris" wrote in

jackets, and coats are too small. I spent close to $1,100.00 last
winter, and close to $500.00 this summer.

The above fiscal recklessness is typical of people that think they are
somehow owed "child support".

Is it any wonder they can make ends meet with the thousands of tax free
money they get?

Crybaby! You're just mad because the majority doesn't share your
opinion about child support. If they did, the institution of child
support would never have been introduced to the masses. You have like
40 people (maybe) in your little group, and yet there are millions of
child support cases. You are a big fish in a little pond on the
internet, but in reality, you're swimmikng in a fish bowl. The real
world acknowledges a fathers responsibility, and nothing you post is
going to change that!

The "real world," as you call it, has no idea what the CS system has done to
far too many people. Because the majority of people have not been touched
by the system personally. Look at your own responses. You are so sure that
your idealistic solutions will fix everything. It doesn't even occur to you
that these solutions have and many, many more that you have not even thought
of, have been tried and have failed because of the wide latitude of
discretion given to the family court system. And the fact that federal
moneys are tied to collections rates. Now, who do you think the system is
going to spend their money going after? Those that would pay anyway, even
without a court order? Or those that are never going to pay, no matter the
efforts spent to collect from them? And the federal money pours in. You
need to spend some time getting to know what the system is really
like--instead of criticizing people you assume just don't want to pay.
True, there are those out there that just do not want to pay. But the
majority on this group have never failed in their child support payments,
even when they were overwhelming and unfair.

On Oct 10, 6:24 am, "teachrmama" wrote:

Too bad all parents coul not handle their child support issues in
such a mature, loving way, instead of indulging themselves in the
acrimonious, adversarial family court system.

But you do acknowledge that the way in which Gini and her ex
were able to handle the rearing of their children was possible
only because they BOTH made the choices necessary to make
it work.

If only one of the parents refuses to make choices based on
what's best for the children, what options are left? For clarity
I want to note that either a CP or a NCP can be the parent
choosing to place their own desires above the needs of the
child.

The sword cuts both ways ... something which is often
lost in the demonization of CPs that happens within
this group.

Paula

Exactly, they are NOT a necessity, that is why I pay a portion that I feel is
a fair portion and he has to pay the rest. That is the only fair thing to do
here. A high school boy WILL NOT wear payless shoes, nor would I want to
have an argument over trying to"make" him wear them. So the best solution is
to pay a reasonable amount (out of his child support) towards clothes, shoes,
etc... that HE NEEDS, and if he wants to blow his money on expensive stuff he
has to pay the rest. Nothing wrong with that!!!!!!!!!!
DB wrote:
"Lvnsurpriseaz via FamilyKB.com" u37991@uwe wrote in

If he wants $80 pair of shoes, I pay half,

yea, my father would have laughed and given me directions to Payless shoes!

$80 shoes are not a necessity!!!!

--
Message posted via http://www.familykb.com

"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

Crybaby! You're just mad because the majority doesn't share your
opinion about child support.

Yes and you squealed loud and high when gas prices reached $3.00 per gallon!

Lets see you be the first to write out a check when the war tax is
introduced!
I'm sure they'll set up a payment program for you too! LOLOLOLOL

"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Oct 8, 2:41 pm, "DB" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

Think I spent a total of $200 last year on new clothes.

That was new clothes for myself! I still have T-shirts that are over 6
years
in use!

jackets, and coats are too small. I spent close to $1,100.00 last
winter, and close to $500.00 this summer.

Ever hear of Wal-Mart?

Ever hear of quality?

I'm not cheap, I'm poor and know how to live with in my means!

"Paula" wrote
wrote:

Too bad all parents coul not handle their child support issues in
such a mature, loving way, instead of indulging themselves in the
acrimonious, adversarial family court system.

But you do acknowledge that the way in which Gini and her ex
were able to handle the rearing of their children was possible
only because they BOTH made the choices necessary to make
it work.
==
True, to some degree. But, it also takes a lot of compromise, which is the
main thing lacking in many of the CPs who appear here.
They are obsessed with "getting what's due," having bought into the attitude
that mothers are inherently better
qualified and outrank fathers on the parenting scale. There were many things
I could have argued with and dragged my ex
into court for but that mindset was not a part of my/our parenting psyche.
*Our kids were not property to be bickered over. Period.*
My ex was/is a great dad and I would never get into court disputes with my
boys' father for any reason unless he were
somehow a danger to them. I could have dragged him into court when he
went to Ecuador for months and to Russia for months whining that our boys
were "due" the money those trips cost but I would not
have made that an issue, as many CPs would. He sent the boys letters, gifts
and emails from all over the world that they still have today.
That was of far greater value to the kids than him handing me fists of money
to put out for consumables that would never be remembered by the boys into
their
adulthood. Money should never, ever, ever be the apex of a parent's
relationship with their children's father (or mother). It is really that
simple.
Fathers have just as much parenting rights as mothers, and their parenting
style (if the father was chosen carefully by the mother, which he
absolutely should have been) is crucial to a healthy relationship within
the family dynamic--and therefore, a somewhat less traumatic childhood for
the children of divided families. The other thing I had (have) was a very
understanding second husband who never ever interjected himself into my
sons' relationship with their dad (or their relationship with me, for that
matter). My husband always welcomed my ex into our home and my ex always
treated my later-born children as part of his sons' family as well,
always welcoming them into his home. Would it have been this way if I
believed money was more important than these relationships? I think
not...and that is why I've been speaking out for fathers for more than two
decades and why I am and have been a part of this group (despite some
poster's assertions that I am an unfit parent from Florida :-)

You call me stupid? You obviously don't know the system. A CP doesn't have
a specified amount of child support to pay because the child lives with them
100% of the time so therefore they pay for things that the NCP child support
does not cover! Plus, I was assessed with an income greater than my income
at that time to establish the fathers child support and that did not bother
me at all!!!! If I was such a money driven B---- that would have bothered me
because I could have gotten more CS if the judge would not have assessed me
with a higher income then what I was making! Get your head out of your ASS,
you must be one of those fathers that owe thousands of dollars in back child
support just because you want to be stubborn and refuse to pay because you
have so much hatred towards the childs mother. What a shame,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
that does a child no good!!!

wrote:
On Oct 8, 5:17 pm, "Lvnsurpriseaz via FamilyKB.com" u37991@uwe
wrote:
Court orders don't specify an amount that the CP provides? If the father had
more visitation his CS would go down because he would have to provide for his
son when he has visitation.

How much does the Court ORDER you to pay for your child? Why not post
a copy of the last court order of support entered and let us all see
how much some fat, lazy ass judge ORDERED you to pay for your kid?

___ NONE ___ that's how much the court ordered you to pay.

Stupid bitch.

--
Message posted via http://www.familykb.com

On Oct 10, 11:30 am, "DB" wrote:
"childsupportowed by deadbeats" wrote in

Crybaby! You're just mad because the majority doesn't share your
opinion aboutchildsupport.

Yes and you squealed loud and high when gas prices reached $3.00 per gallon!

Lets see you be the first to write out a check when the war tax is
introduced!
I'm sure they'll set up a payment program for you too! LOLOLOLOL

Laugh if you want to-we are not talking about the war hippie, we are
talking about child support. I didn't say anything when the gas price
went up, I don't pay for gas, my boss does. Who's laughing now bitch?
As for the war, since you want to keep bringing it up, I got some
questions for that ass:

What did you expect was going to happen when they blew up the T.T's?

Why would you allow your country stad by, do nothing, and become a
target for other fanatical, extream groups?

Do you think freedom comes without a price?

All the **** you have posted about the government, do you think you
would have this right to do this if men and women didn't fight for it?

Why do you keep bringing up the war in a discussion about deadbeat's
and child support?

What IS the problem with paying child support?

Are you just plain stupid, or did you have to work at it?