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Name change because parent not visiting child



 
 
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  #21  
Old November 11th 06, 01:34 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
CasualObserver
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 38
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


ghostwriter wrote:
wrote:
Thanks Ghost writer. I live in Georgia.

My ex and I do not have personality issues or anything. He just doesnt
want to do anything with his son because he choses not to tell the
world (and his girlfriends) that he has a son. I dont have a problem
with it...we are divorced now. But I am concerned about this name thing
affecting my child who feels strange because he has never met this
person who shares his last name. It's just sad.


Personally, if you have the money an hour with an attorney would be
best. If not I would likley file for the name change since he doesnt
really seem to care.

I cant imainge a way that a judge could use to make that sufficient
reason to terminate child support and I suspect that the judge would be
very annoyed if your ex tried that tactic. But judges dont necessarily
need reasons so thats why I suggest seeing the lawyer.

If your ex allows the name change it would be an admission that he
wants nothing to do with his son, but his financial obligations have
nothing to do with his failure to meet personal obligations to his son.

Ghostwriter



The mother asking for the name change is an admission by her that she
doesn't want the father to have anything to do with his son. I can't
imagine that it would be held against him if he cooperates. And if he's
not visiting maybe she has done something really bad to the father. So
if you want to continue making accusations like a typical anti-father
child-support services shill, then let's go...

  #22  
Old November 11th 06, 02:03 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 105
Default Name change because parent not visiting child

Dear Divorced,

I'm mom of three. Kids don't get the adult inference of surnames. Their
name is their name. It wouldn't occur to a kid that a name "belongs" to
Dad, or that they could make a statement about rejecting someone by
dumping a surname. That's adult logic, not kid logic.

It wouldn't be a problem unless someone was making a big deal out of it
(i.e. YOU). Heck, we have class lists for our kids, and its pretty
common to have several surnames in one "family" and no one thinks
anything of it (i.e., blended families, kids being raised by grandma
etc. etc. ) I was well into my teens before it occured to me that my
mother was born with a different name, much less that she took someone
else's surname...much less that she might want to dump that name. I
just don't buy that a kid could be traumatised by their birth surname.

I could see it if the Dad was some notorious heinous creep with a
distinctive surname that made the kid a magnet for teasing. But just
because Dad is an immature jerk - nah, I can't see the purpose of
trying to deliberately shut him out of kiddo's life in any way. Dad is
making a mistake by not involving himself in his son's life, but take
the high road, and don't do anything to give him an excuse why he's
being such a schmuck. Leave the door wide open.

M

  #23  
Old November 11th 06, 02:09 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
Moon Shyne
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 427
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


wrote in message
ps.com...
Dear Divorced,

I'm mom of three. Kids don't get the adult inference of surnames. Their
name is their name. It wouldn't occur to a kid that a name "belongs" to
Dad, or that they could make a statement about rejecting someone by
dumping a surname. That's adult logic, not kid logic.


Not true. My daughter, when in the 7th grade, chose to use my family name
as her last name in school - and she was absolutely making a statement about
rejecting the father who disappeared from her life nearly 5 years ago.

She continues to use my family name, and when her high school pointed out
that she would need to change it back to have her legal name on her diploma,
she pointed out that she was using the name she wanted to have appear on her
diploma.


  #24  
Old November 11th 06, 02:38 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
CasualObserver
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 38
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


Moon Shyne wrote:
wrote in message
ps.com...
Dear Divorced,

I'm mom of three. Kids don't get the adult inference of surnames. Their
name is their name. It wouldn't occur to a kid that a name "belongs" to
Dad, or that they could make a statement about rejecting someone by
dumping a surname. That's adult logic, not kid logic.


Not true. My daughter, when in the 7th grade, chose to use my family name
as her last name in school - and she was absolutely making a statement about
rejecting the father who disappeared from her life nearly 5 years ago.


Maybe as she got older she started sounding a lot like her mother and
he faded away in disgust.

  #25  
Old November 11th 06, 02:53 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
Moon Shyne
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 427
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


"CasualObserver" wrote in message
ups.com...

Moon Shyne wrote:
wrote in message
ps.com...
Dear Divorced,

I'm mom of three. Kids don't get the adult inference of surnames. Their
name is their name. It wouldn't occur to a kid that a name "belongs" to
Dad, or that they could make a statement about rejecting someone by
dumping a surname. That's adult logic, not kid logic.


Not true. My daughter, when in the 7th grade, chose to use my family
name
as her last name in school - and she was absolutely making a statement
about
rejecting the father who disappeared from her life nearly 5 years ago.


Maybe as she got older she started sounding a lot like her mother and
he faded away in disgust.


Nah - he abandoned these kids in exactly the same way he abandoned his kids
from his first marriage (I'm ex-wife number 3)





  #26  
Old November 11th 06, 03:00 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 936
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


"CasualObserver" wrote

Moon Shyne wrote:
wrote
Dear Divorced,

I'm mom of three. Kids don't get the adult inference of surnames. Their
name is their name. It wouldn't occur to a kid that a name "belongs" to
Dad, or that they could make a statement about rejecting someone by
dumping a surname. That's adult logic, not kid logic.


Not true. My daughter, when in the 7th grade, chose to use my family
name
as her last name in school - and she was absolutely making a statement
about
rejecting the father who disappeared from her life nearly 5 years ago.


Maybe as she got older she started sounding a lot like her mother and
he faded away in disgust.

==
Or the mother manipulated the relationship between father and child in such
a bizarre
manner that it became in the best interest of the children to not subject
them to such
hideousness. Sadly, the children may never know how much their father loved
them
and how broken his heart was when he had to make the decision to bow out.
Just a thought.


  #27  
Old November 11th 06, 04:00 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
Bob Whiteside
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 981
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
news

wrote in message
ps.com...
Dear Divorced,

I'm mom of three. Kids don't get the adult inference of surnames. Their
name is their name. It wouldn't occur to a kid that a name "belongs" to
Dad, or that they could make a statement about rejecting someone by
dumping a surname. That's adult logic, not kid logic.


Not true. My daughter, when in the 7th grade, chose to use my family name
as her last name in school - and she was absolutely making a statement

about
rejecting the father who disappeared from her life nearly 5 years ago.

She continues to use my family name, and when her high school pointed out
that she would need to change it back to have her legal name on her

diploma,
she pointed out that she was using the name she wanted to have appear on

her
diploma.


Back to the point I made earlier - Why did you change your married name back
to your family name? Didn't the fact you (or any other mother) changes her
name back to her maiden name cause the child to want to do the same thing to
be accepted by the mother?

If a mother retains her married name doesn't that send a signal to the child
having the same last name as their father is no big deal?

If I am not reading this right I'm sure you'll let me. Then the question
becomes why would a child want to use her mother's maiden name if mom is
still using her married name. Doesn't that cause even more confusion for
the child?

Despite all the denials to the contrary, I think the mother is driving the
name change process by how she deals with her own legal last name.


  #28  
Old November 11th 06, 04:34 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
CasualObserver
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 38
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


Moon Shyne wrote:
"CasualObserver" wrote in message
ups.com...

Moon Shyne wrote:
wrote in message
ps.com...
Dear Divorced,

I'm mom of three. Kids don't get the adult inference of surnames. Their
name is their name. It wouldn't occur to a kid that a name "belongs" to
Dad, or that they could make a statement about rejecting someone by
dumping a surname. That's adult logic, not kid logic.

Not true. My daughter, when in the 7th grade, chose to use my family
name
as her last name in school - and she was absolutely making a statement
about
rejecting the father who disappeared from her life nearly 5 years ago.


Maybe as she got older she started sounding a lot like her mother and
he faded away in disgust.


Nah - he abandoned these kids in exactly the same way he abandoned his kids
from his first marriage (I'm ex-wife number 3)


He should give up a and go for a mail order bride from the Phillipines

  #29  
Old November 11th 06, 05:30 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
teachrmama
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,905
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
news

wrote in message
ps.com...
Dear Divorced,

I'm mom of three. Kids don't get the adult inference of surnames. Their
name is their name. It wouldn't occur to a kid that a name "belongs" to
Dad, or that they could make a statement about rejecting someone by
dumping a surname. That's adult logic, not kid logic.


Not true. My daughter, when in the 7th grade, chose to use my family name
as her last name in school - and she was absolutely making a statement
about rejecting the father who disappeared from her life nearly 5 years
ago.

She continues to use my family name, and when her high school pointed out
that she would need to change it back to have her legal name on her
diploma, she pointed out that she was using the name she wanted to have
appear on her diploma.


Did she graduate last year? Wow! They sure grow up fast! Is she doing ok
now?


  #30  
Old November 12th 06, 04:10 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
Moon Shyne
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 427
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


"CasualObserver" wrote in message
oups.com...

Moon Shyne wrote:
"CasualObserver" wrote in message
ups.com...

Moon Shyne wrote:
wrote in message
ps.com...
Dear Divorced,

I'm mom of three. Kids don't get the adult inference of surnames.
Their
name is their name. It wouldn't occur to a kid that a name "belongs"
to
Dad, or that they could make a statement about rejecting someone by
dumping a surname. That's adult logic, not kid logic.

Not true. My daughter, when in the 7th grade, chose to use my family
name
as her last name in school - and she was absolutely making a statement
about
rejecting the father who disappeared from her life nearly 5 years ago.


Maybe as she got older she started sounding a lot like her mother and
he faded away in disgust.


Nah - he abandoned these kids in exactly the same way he abandoned his
kids
from his first marriage (I'm ex-wife number 3)


He should give up a and go for a mail order bride from the Phillipines


Well, sure, if she's willing to be ex wife #4, I suppose




 




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