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Runnin from Custodial Parent



 
 
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  #741  
Old November 14th 07, 02:44 PM posted to alt.child-support
Sarah Gray
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 251
Default Runnin from Custodial Parent

Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote

............................
=====
I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids. When
he
moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to him
as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a beater
pickup
that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived at
his house, he and his
then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if we
were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce should
not
divvy up children.* Ever.


How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court
order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two or
four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for
graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of
supporting himself.

===
In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex and
I so travel/money
simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully chosen
the man I wanted to father my kids
and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them a
dad. There wasn't any,
"I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him every
day or every weekend.
We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count, however.
When my ex later moved
in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles and
we met halfway with the
kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a part
of my relationship with him.
The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the time
our younger son had to
go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I
both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas.
Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for the
boys. I owed them that.



If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he
lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement
out, but she is in school, and I have a job. In my situation, it is
simply not feasible.

--

Sarah Gray
  #742  
Old November 14th 07, 05:02 PM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,421
Default Runnin from Custodial Parent



--
[Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have
custody of such child]
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote

............................
=====
I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids.

When
he
moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to

him
as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a

beater
pickup
that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived

at
his house, he and his
then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if

we
were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce

should
not
divvy up children.* Ever.


How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court
order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two

or
four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for
graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of
supporting himself.

===
In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex

and
I so travel/money
simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully

chosen
the man I wanted to father my kids
and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them

a
dad. There wasn't any,
"I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him

every
day or every weekend.
We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count,

however.
When my ex later moved
in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles

and
we met halfway with the
kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a

part
of my relationship with him.
The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the

time
our younger son had to
go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I
both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas.
Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for

the
boys. I owed them that.



If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he
lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement
out, but she is in school,


....and being in school is MORE important than being with her father. If ONLY
they had schools where the father lives.

and I have a job. In my situation, it is
simply not feasible.

--

Sarah Gray



  #743  
Old November 14th 07, 05:56 PM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,421
Default Runnin from Custodial Parent



--
[Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have
custody of such child]
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
...
Chris wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
...
Chris wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
...
Chris wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
...
Chris wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message


He *chose* to move. I have no desire to move to

Nashville;
Thus, your claims about how you desire to move and to

have
your
child
be
with her father are false.

I never said I would move to facilitate that.

Nor did I say you did. But you DID say that you would like

to move.

And I would like to move. I'd also like to win the lottery, but

it
hasn't happened yet.

If he wants to see his daughter more, he could move back

here.

And if you want him to see her, you could move there or send

her
there.
That's TWO options for you. How many are you giving him? Last

I
checked,
it's not a one way street. Unless, of course, you're the one

calling
the
shots.

I don't understand why you are acting as if he has done some

great
and
noble thing by practically abandoning his child. You think he

should
be
rewarded for refusing to support her adequately?

No.

What the hell is wrong
with you?

Are you asking for my opinion?

about why you are so intent that fathers not support their children
unless it's on a full-time basis and the children never see their
mothers? yeah, I'd like to understand that.


I would too since I NEVER claimed that.


You claim that I have no right to expect him to support her, but that
*he* has a right to have her full time and demand child support from me.


Never claimed that either.


I *can't* move, because I have a decent job.




Why do you insist it is up to *me* to maintain my daughter's
relationship with her father?

I don't.

Yes, you do. You say that it is my fault she does not see her dad
because I am not willing to make 16-hour round trip drives,


Never said that.


you said that that it was only my reluctance to be "inconvenienced" that
keeps her from seeing him, and that if I was not willing to do that,
that meant that I don't really want her to see him often.


No Ididn't.



or quit my
job and move,


Never said that either.


you said I should move if I wanted my daughter to see her father.


No I didn't.

Never
once did you suggest he move back to be with her.

or send her to live with him. All of those suggestions are
completely ludicrous.


In YOUR opinion.


Do you really think it is reasonable to insist that *I* make 16-hour
round trip drives to accommodate his lifestyle choices?


A better question is: Do you really think it is reasonable to insist that HE
pay you FREE money to accommodate YOUR lifestyle choices?


She lives *here*. He DECIDED TO LEAVE FOR NO GOOD
REASON.


In YOUR opinion.


Well, what would you consider a "good reason"?


My opinion has no bearing on the facts of this matter.

He refused to look for
work here, instead preferring to move to TN to live with his parents.
Within a week, he was working at a Wal-Mart there. Coincidentally, I
went into the Wal-Mart that is less than 2 miles from his former
residence, and lo and behold! they are hiring. He had no reason to move,
other than the fact that he cant live without his mommy.


In his opinion, that may be an EXCELLENT reason for moving.





He has no way to support her, and I have
no way of supporting her in Nashville. How, exactly, would that

be
better for her?

You tell me.

No, *you* tell *me*, because *you* are the one suggesting that this

is a
better situation for her than what she has now.


I NEVER claimed that.


you say that it is the only way she can have a relationship with him.


I do NOT.

is
a child's relationship with their father more important than their
relationship with their mother?





He's the one who insisted in court last summer, that we

switch
off
parenting time every few days, because she was so young and

should
see
each of us often. Funny how things change in a year.

Yup, things certainly do change in time. That is the result of

living
in a
fluid world. I have NO intention of killing my neighbor. But

let
him
invade
my home and all bets are off.

Well, I for one don't plan on following my mommy and daddy

wherever
they
go, even though I'm 31 years old. But I guess you think thats

the
responsible thing to do.

However do you come to THAT conclusion?

Because you keep saying I should send her to live with him!


Non sequitur.. Nonetheless, if you desire for her to be with him, as

you
have falsely proclaimed, then sending her to be with him would

accomplish
such goal.


Just because I think my daughter should have a relationship with her
father, does not mean that the only way to accomplish that goal is to
fully give up custody.


That is correct. Your point?

He moved. His choice. You like to talk about
women making choices that affect men, but you don;t want to admit it
when a man makes an irresponsible choice that affects his child.


Whatever are you talking about? Men make choices that affect their children
ALL the time.


--

Sarah Gray



  #744  
Old November 14th 07, 06:51 PM posted to alt.child-support
Very Determined!
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 122
Default Runnin from Custodial Parent

On Nov 14, 5:39 am, "Gini" wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote


............................



=====
I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids. When
he
moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to him
as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a beater
pickup
that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived at
his house, he and his
then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if we
were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce should
not
divvy up children.* Ever.


How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court
order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two or
four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for
graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of
supporting himself.


===
In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex and
I so travel/money
simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully chosen
the man I wanted to father my kids
and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them a
dad. There wasn't any,
"I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him every
day or every weekend.
We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count, however.
When my ex later moved
in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles and
we met halfway with the
kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a part
of my relationship with him.
The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the time
our younger son had to
go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I
both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas.
Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for the
boys. I owed them that.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -


and I owe my kids a nuclear, solid, happy family unit with two parents
in the home, married and together....they, do not deserve any less
than that....I carefully chose my husband knowing we, together could
provide that! My kids needs outrank, ours...that is why we are not
exes...

  #745  
Old November 14th 07, 06:53 PM posted to alt.child-support
Very Determined!
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 122
Default Runnin from Custodial Parent

On Nov 14, 8:02 am, "Chris" wrote:
--
[Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have
custody of such child]"Sarah Gray" wrote in message

et...





Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
............................
=====
I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids.

When
he
moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to

him
as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a

beater
pickup
that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived

at
his house, he and his
then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if

we
were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce

should
not
divvy up children.* Ever.


How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court
order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two

or
four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for
graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of
supporting himself.
===
In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex

and
I so travel/money
simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully

chosen
the man I wanted to father my kids
and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them

a
dad. There wasn't any,
"I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him

every
day or every weekend.
We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count,

however.
When my ex later moved
in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles

and
we met halfway with the
kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a

part
of my relationship with him.
The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the

time
our younger son had to
go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I
both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas.
Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for

the
boys. I owed them that.


If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he
lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement
out, but she is in school,


...and being in school is MORE important than being with her father. If ONLY
they had schools where the father lives.



and I have a job. In my situation, it is
simply not feasible.


--


Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text -


- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -


why doesn't the father make the 16 hour round trip to come see her??
visit, etc....

  #746  
Old November 15th 07, 05:26 AM posted to alt.child-support
Sarah Gray
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 251
Default Runnin from Custodial Parent

Chris wrote:
If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he
lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of

arrangement
out, but she is in school,


...and being in school is MORE important than being with her father.

If ONLY
they had schools where the father lives.


Her father has stated that he does not wish her schooling to be interrupted.

--

Sarah Gray
  #747  
Old November 15th 07, 04:45 PM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,421
Default Runnin from Custodial Parent



--
[Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have
custody of such child]
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
t...
Chris wrote:
If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he
lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of

arrangement
out, but she is in school,


...and being in school is MORE important than being with her father.

If ONLY
they had schools where the father lives.


Her father has stated that he does not wish her schooling to be

interrupted.

You keep morphing your original claim with these peculiar details. No wonder
the discussion doesn't end; you keep CHANGING it.



--

Sarah Gray



 




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