Is there an equation ?

time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time
SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm] That
seems really really odd

I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the
difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book grandma
about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including
weekends.
Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get easier.



Lol. I'm just shocked. Maybe I have a screwed up view of 8 yr olds, or my
friends have weird 8 yr olds. There's no reason why an 8 yr old can't get up
alone on a Saturday, put cartoons on, and get a bowl of cereal or something,
letting you sleep in. Unless that's *dangerous* - lol.

You have no friends who can babysit?

\ An 8 yr old??!! I thought you were talking about a baby for goodness
sake.
Um, an 8 yr old gets up, goes to school, has activities, homework, dinner
and bed. Wow, that's tough.

Exactly. My 8 yr old is *so* easy. I have no idea what is going on in their
house but I cannot imagine ever complaining about her, let alone the 3 of
them together. Ok, I complain once in awhile, lol, and it's not easy all the
time but it's not THAT hard either!! Tiring, yes, but not exactly difficult.




And he's a Marine so he can be gone anywhere from a few days in the field
(heavenly!) to 6 months who knows where.



It really amazes me how you do it, really. The few years I was a Navy wife
were much tougher for me than it is now and I had only had 2 kids. Major
kudos to you, totally, and all the other wives of servicemen. Im in total
awe of all of you!!!

Kari

"Kari" wrote in message
...
\ An 8 yr old??!! I thought you were talking about a baby for goodness
sake.
Um, an 8 yr old gets up, goes to school, has activities, homework,
dinner
and bed. Wow, that's tough.

Exactly. My 8 yr old is *so* easy. I have no idea what is going on in
their
house but I cannot imagine ever complaining about her, let alone the 3 of
them together. Ok, I complain once in awhile, lol, and it's not easy all
the
time but it's not THAT hard either!! Tiring, yes, but not exactly
difficult.


It *is* tiring, and we do joke about the nuthouse, but really. It's maybe
hectic at certain times of the day (when C gets home from school till bed).
That's my only complaint really.

And he's a Marine so he can be gone anywhere from a few days in the
field
(heavenly!) to 6 months who knows where.



It really amazes me how you do it, really. The few years I was a Navy wife
were much tougher for me than it is now and I had only had 2 kids. Major
kudos to you, totally, and all the other wives of servicemen. Im in total
awe of all of you!!!

Kari

I can do it cos I'm not doing it alone. There's always at least one friend
of mine whose husband is gone too. And someone always has a worse situation
than I do. What's my other option anyway? Divorce? Lol. (j/k of course)

"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
...

"Jenn" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"Ian" wrote:

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
...

The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am
not
here
to
start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie
and
say
parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret
club,
that
no
one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it!

What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some
people
it
*is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand??

How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we
have
one
aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time
she
is a
SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event!





time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time
SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm]
That
seems really really odd

I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the
difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book
grandma
about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including
weekends.
Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get
easier.



So get a babysitter. He's 8, hire a teenager. Its not like he needs mass
amounts of supervision. I live 2500+ miles away from my closest relative.
Make friends with your neighbors and swap babysitting for a couple hours.

Whats the point of hiring a babysitter for the evening when you still have
to be up at 7am? I am also not comforable with the idea of some teen being
in my house alone. I was a teen babysitter once...

And why do you still need to wake up on the weekends? My 5 year old is
perfectly capable of getting her own cereal and turning cartoons on
Saturday
mornings.

I am not comfortable with my child being up alone. He gets up, so one of us
gets up. Besides its hard to sleep with the TV blaring anyway. Ive tried it.
You cant have a proper rest when they are up.

How does your 5 year old get their own cereal? Do they have a stool for the
counter or something? Does it not end up all over the place. I am sure it
would be that way if my 8 yr old tried it!

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time
SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm]
That
seems really really odd

I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the
difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book
grandma
about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including
weekends.
Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get
easier.



Lol. I'm just shocked. Maybe I have a screwed up view of 8 yr olds, or
my
friends have weird 8 yr olds. There's no reason why an 8 yr old can't get
up
alone on a Saturday, put cartoons on, and get a bowl of cereal or
something,
letting you sleep in. Unless that's *dangerous* - lol.

Its not dangerous, we just cant really sleep properly when he is up. And he
is too short to reach the counter to get cereal.

You have no friends who can babysit?

Yes, but I really don't want to be returning the favor so I don't ask. Most
of my friends have little kids, or more than one.

In article ,
"Ian" wrote:

"Jenn" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"Ian" wrote:

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
...

The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not
here
to
start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and
say
parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret club,
that
no
one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it!

What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some
people
it
*is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand??

How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we have
one
aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time she
is a
SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event!





time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time
SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm] That
seems really really odd

I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the
difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book grandma
about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including weekends.
Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get easier.



we raised two kids and worked full time in demanding professional jobs
[while demanding -- when you have a professional job you do have some
flexibility that people working 9-5 don't ] none of our family lives
nearby -- and we had no one to help with housework -- and this didn't
stop us from having time together [we 'dated' each other every Saturday
night -- except when the kids were newborns] -- and even then we did our
best to make time for ourselves as well as the kids

so we joined a babysitting coop which meant we could go out when the
kids were quite small and feel comfortable with their care, we found
baby sitters as they got older so we could go out every Saturday night,
we took turns sleeping in when the kids were very small -- he slept in
on Saturday and I did on Sunday -- and we also taught our kids to amuse
themselves early in the morning and not wake us up as they got older --
an 8 year old is plenty old enough to have breakfast and occupy himself
for an hour or two on Saturday morning so you can sleep in till 8-9 at
least

so much of this once basic needs are covered is about attitude -- what
you make of your life -- and a full time mom school age child and
breadwinner family seems to offer pretty good opportunities for bliss to
me

Ian wrote:


The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not here to
start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and say
parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret club, that no
one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it!


I don't think the word "easy" has been used once in
this thread. People have simply said that for them, having
more than one child wasn't significantly more difficult than
having just one child. Why do you believe you know their
experience better than they do?


I have childless friends ask me what its like to be a parent. Damn hard I
say! No point telling them its a bed of roses or they are going to get one
hell of a shock! Would I change my life? Of course not BUT I don't want it
to get any tougher. I am sure another child would be the light of my life
too, but my life is hard enough, I have no wish to make it harder, even if
it means missing out on more kids.


I don't recall anyone advocating that those who are
happy with single children have more, either. People are
just naturally responding to your blanket statements which
they find to be unrepresentative of their situations.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Ian" wrote in message
...

"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
.. Whats the point of hiring a babysitter for the evening when you still
have
to be up at 7am? I am also not comforable with the idea of some teen being
in my house alone. I was a teen babysitter once...

You don't *have* to be up at 7am. You choose to be up at 7am. I was a
teenage babysitter once. I still use them. Or what's wrong with your
neighbors? My best babysitters are the ones I trade babysitting with.
Usually my best friend or his wife.


I am not comfortable with my child being up alone. He gets up, so one of
us
gets up. Besides its hard to sleep with the TV blaring anyway. Ive tried
it.
You cant have a proper rest when they are up.


Here's your problem. You have some trust issues or something equally Dr.
Phil-ish. I trust my daughter to do what is right based on what I've taught
her. I keep the cereal, and almost anything else she might ever want, at
her level. I put milk in a smaller container and put it in the fridge. She
can get bowls out of the dish rack for her sisters and herself. Sure, its
not always neat, but nothing major's ever happened. She can also make toast
and today I learned she can make microwave popcorn too. 8 year old children
need independence. They need to know they can entertain themselves, feed
themselves, bathe themselves.. so on and so forth. When my 9 year old
stepdaughter is here its not any harder than my own 3.

"Sophie" wrote in message
...
"Kari" wrote in message
...
\ An 8 yr old??!! I thought you were talking about a baby for goodness
sake.
Um, an 8 yr old gets up, goes to school, has activities, homework,
dinner
and bed. Wow, that's tough.

Exactly. My 8 yr old is *so* easy. I have no idea what is going on in
their
house but I cannot imagine ever complaining about her, let alone the 3
of
them together. Ok, I complain once in awhile, lol, and it's not easy all
the
time but it's not THAT hard either!! Tiring, yes, but not exactly
difficult.


It *is* tiring, and we do joke about the nuthouse, but really. It's maybe
hectic at certain times of the day (when C gets home from school till
bed).
That's my only complaint really.

And he's a Marine so he can be gone anywhere from a few days in the
field
(heavenly!) to 6 months who knows where.



It really amazes me how you do it, really. The few years I was a Navy
wife
were much tougher for me than it is now and I had only had 2 kids. Major
kudos to you, totally, and all the other wives of servicemen. Im in
total
awe of all of you!!!

Kari

I can do it cos I'm not doing it alone. There's always at least one
friend
of mine whose husband is gone too. And someone always has a worse
situation
than I do. What's my other option anyway? Divorce? Lol. (j/k of
course)



The SGLI always looks mighty fine right around 6 months into one of DH's
deployments. BG

Kari wrote:

Looking back on your first post, when you said $1250, I thought that
was your mortgage and I guess that is your sq ft! Lol. But we live in
remote-land USA in upstate NY, cheapo taxes, houses are not much at
all, even buying brand new. The house we're interested in is nearly
3000 sq ft, having it built + land is about 250K for everything.
Here's the link to it
http://www.bardenhomes.com/new%20pla.../hollister.htm Im
totally in love with it!! We're just looking for a good piece of land
and saving, saving, saving!! Pretty reasonable compared to much of
the rest of the country though.

That is an absolutely awesome house!! I'm guessing it would cost about the
same amount here. My new house is a 1928 Dutch Colonial. I love the floor
plan and it has high ceilings and a fire place! No main floor bathroom
though so when I get old and decrepit I'm in trouble ;-) You know how much
my old house cost 8 years ago? $35,000 dollars, lol. It was out in the
boonies or I'd had just fixed that one up. My mortgate was $325/mo. Hard
to give that up!

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)