super-active toddler

Hi. I'm at my wit's end and am looking for . . . I don't really know .
.. . been-there-done-that words of wisdom?

My third child is now almost 18 months old and is "a handful." I've
never seen a baby like this except one nephew who has been diagnosed
with ADHD. I'm not interested yet in getting or ruling out that
diagnosis; I'm just trying to cope with this baby with the best
possible humor, and that is getting harder and harder as she gets more
and more physically adept.

This child scrambles around the house and the world with destruction
on her mind. Currently, we cannot ever put a drink or writing
implement or really anything that isn't specifically for the baby on
any table -- forget a coffee table; I mean a dining room table or a
kitchen table. if she spots such a thing anywhere she can climb to,
which is almost anywhere, she immediately goes after it.

She will sit in a stroller for about 15 minutes and then screams until
let out, at which point she starts running.

At our kids' library, which is an entire floor and which my other
kids, as toddlers, loved to run around in, stopping to look at books
or play with puzzles, etc., all she wants to do is the stairs; in
other words, OUT. So, no library.

At the playground, she will play for about 10 minutes and then starts
running out the gate. I can bring her back and "redirect" her 100
times; she just keeps going out the gate til I give up and take her
home and sit her in her exercauser (the only thing she cannot climb
out of) and put on the TV.

Yup, the TV. For an 18 month old. I am not the kind of mom who sticks
my toddlers in front a TV! My oldest had not yet seen a TV show at
that age; my 2nd child had seen some because of her older brother
watching a bit, but my two older kids just never developed a TV habit.
This baby already has it bad, because it is the only, and I do mean
only, thing that keeps her still. Oh, well, she will look at books
with me sometimes, e.g., if she's tired. She loves her books, but is
usually too on-the-go to sit for them during the day.

She is a very happy child; laughs more easily than any other human I
know. SHRIEKS with delight at whatever she sees that she likes --
trucks, animals, lawn mowers, etc. Very affectionate. I love her to
death, but I am thinking maybe I need to get back out to full-time
work so I can get away from her during the day.

So, sound familiar to anyone? Did it ever get better? WHEN? Thank you!

"Nevermind" wrote in message
om...
Hi. I'm at my wit's end and am looking for . . . I don't really know .
. . been-there-done-that words of wisdom?

My third child is now almost 18 months old and is "a handful." I've
never seen a baby like this except one nephew who has been diagnosed
with ADHD. I'm not interested yet in getting or ruling out that
diagnosis; I'm just trying to cope with this baby with the best
possible humor, and that is getting harder and harder as she gets more
and more physically adept.

This child scrambles around the house and the world with destruction
on her mind. Currently, we cannot ever put a drink or writing
implement or really anything that isn't specifically for the baby on
any table -- forget a coffee table; I mean a dining room table or a
kitchen table. if she spots such a thing anywhere she can climb to,
which is almost anywhere, she immediately goes after it.

She will sit in a stroller for about 15 minutes and then screams until
let out, at which point she starts running.

At our kids' library, which is an entire floor and which my other
kids, as toddlers, loved to run around in, stopping to look at books
or play with puzzles, etc., all she wants to do is the stairs; in
other words, OUT. So, no library.

At the playground, she will play for about 10 minutes and then starts
running out the gate. I can bring her back and "redirect" her 100
times; she just keeps going out the gate til I give up and take her
home and sit her in her exercauser (the only thing she cannot climb
out of) and put on the TV.

Yup, the TV. For an 18 month old. I am not the kind of mom who sticks
my toddlers in front a TV! My oldest had not yet seen a TV show at
that age; my 2nd child had seen some because of her older brother
watching a bit, but my two older kids just never developed a TV habit.
This baby already has it bad, because it is the only, and I do mean
only, thing that keeps her still. Oh, well, she will look at books
with me sometimes, e.g., if she's tired. She loves her books, but is
usually too on-the-go to sit for them during the day.

She is a very happy child; laughs more easily than any other human I
know. SHRIEKS with delight at whatever she sees that she likes --
trucks, animals, lawn mowers, etc. Very affectionate. I love her to
death, but I am thinking maybe I need to get back out to full-time
work so I can get away from her during the day.

So, sound familiar to anyone? Did it ever get better? WHEN? Thank you!

Hi,
I can empathize with you. My older daughter, now 5, was a lot like yours.
Always on the go, always. I had to get a leash so she wouldn't get away in
stores or parking lots. She was never a cuddler. Always getting into
everything she could. TV seemed to help us too.
We also had some other behavior problems...bad enough that we spoke with her
pediatrician about them.
I should mention here that we had adopted her from hubby's alcoholic sister
who drank while pregnant, so a lot of her behavior problems
(destructiveness, biting, feeling no remorse, lying, defiance, e.g.) stem
from that. She's not an FAS child, but definitely an FAE child.
Anyhoo...the hyperactivity was addressed. The pediatrician suggested giving
her caffeine. Yup, caffeine. I thought the doc was off her rocker with
that suggestion, figuring caffeine would make the hyperactivity worse. But
apparently it works like ritalin does--a stimulant in adults, but has a
calming effect in children. So, we made our child a coffee drinker at age
2. The pediatrician said we could put milk in it, but NO SUGAR. So I got
some instant coffee, made a lukewarm half-cup for her, added some milk, gave
it to her...and it worked.
Instead of bouncing off the walls, screaming, and running all the time...she
was much calmer.
Others who work with children I've spoken with have advocated the coffee
too.
Ask your pediatrician too.
Our child is now 5 and has grown out of the superhyperactive stage. We
still have some problems now and then, but it is a lot better than it used
to be.
Have patience...it WILL get better.
Hugs,
Peggy

So, sound familiar to anyone? Did it ever get better? WHEN? Thank you!



DD (now 3 years, 3 months) was pretty much exactly like that from about 15-28
months. I was working for the first 4 months of that, so it was not quite as
tiring, but after becoming a SAHM, I had to deal with her all the time.

She would run away wherever we were, she would routinely climb up on
everything, pull EVERYTHING down on the floor. We were living in an apartment
then and there were not too many options to hide away things (books were her
favorite, every single night in her bed she would take out all her books and
toys and put them all over the floor). She moved out of her crib at about 20
months (tried a crib tent, that worked for a few months but eventually she
screamed whenever she was in there so we moved her to a toddler bed) so from
then on, bedtime was a nighmare,

I don't have too many words of wisdom. I pretty much just stayed at home with
her unless DH was able to go out with us to help keep track of her fast little
toddler feet running away all the time. We did take a long walk every day, as
she loved that and would stay still. It gave me some time to decompress too.
Don't know if this is possible for you with older kids, weather, etc.

Just before she turned two, I found out I was pregnant and that's when the TV
started--Sometimes I just did not have the energy to keep up with her and used
it frequently. Sometime during my pregnancy, she started to calm down. Her
attention span started to get longer and I was able to set her up with crayons,
stickers, etc and she would play.

Now she is much more calm, loves to play quietly with her puzzles or books.

Sorry I don't have too much advice, just know that it WILL get better!

Good Luck,
Linda
Mommy to Sophie, 3 years
and Eva, 9 months

Hi -

What does your toddler eat these days? Her behavior strikes me as
probably normal, but on the outside range. Try cutting out some common
trigger foods for a week and see if her behavior improves. Trigger
foods can include:

artificial dyes, especially FD&C Red #40,
added sugars,
milk protein (from any source, including in processed foods).

Now, she may not be eating any of these anyway, but if she is, try
ruthlessly removing all three for a week and see what happens. If she
calms down, then you know she's got a food trigger for her behavior. If
she doesn't, then you've lost nothing but a week of familiar nutrition.

Good luck,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

Nevermind wrote:


So, sound familiar to anyone?

Yep. We call Genevieve the Agent of Entropy.

Did it ever get better? WHEN? Thank you!

Sorry, we're behind you on this curve ;-) Colin
was like this too, and he's six now, and still an Agent
of Entropy.

Hang tough,
Ericka

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Nevermind wrote:


So, sound familiar to anyone?

Yep. We call Genevieve the Agent of Entropy.

Yeah really, sounds like how Patrick was. And Lewis at 2.5 is still
"spirited" as they say - lol.

Did it ever get better? WHEN? Thank you!

Sorry, we're behind you on this curve ;-) Colin
was like this too, and he's six now, and still an Agent
of Entropy.

Hang tough,
Ericka

Patrick's better/calmer now at 4.5 but he's still destructive (he has a
flushing fascination). And now he has a partner in crime - lol.

Sorry but "super active" and "toddler" naturally go together to me. Sounds
normal just annoying and tiring.

Sophie
#4 due July 7, 2004

(GoofeeGyrl) wrote in message ...
So, sound familiar to anyone? Did it ever get better? WHEN? Thank you!


She would run away wherever we were, she would routinely climb up on
everything, pull EVERYTHING down on the floor. We were living in an apartment

I had one that did this too - usually after dinner. We went walking
after dinner until it was her bedtime.

then and there were not too many options to hide away things (books were her
favorite, every single night in her bed she would take out all her books and
toys and put them all over the floor). She moved out of her crib at about 20
months (tried a crib tent, that worked for a few months but eventually she
screamed whenever she was in there so we moved her to a toddler bed) so from
then on, bedtime was a nighmare,

I don't have too many words of wisdom. I pretty much just stayed at home with
her unless DH was able to go out with us to help keep track of her fast little
toddler feet running away all the time. We did take a long walk every day, as


I think a child that runs away is a good candidate for a leash. Just
as you don't want to stick a child in front of the TV, you may also be
against a leash, but, at least when you are outside, I think this is
sensible. Of course she may not like being restrained either.

she loved that and would stay still. It gave me some time to decompress too.
Don't know if this is possible for you with older kids, weather, etc.

Just before she turned two, I found out I was pregnant and that's when the TV
started--Sometimes I just did not have the energy to keep up with her and used
it frequently. Sometime during my pregnancy, she started to calm down. Her
attention span started to get longer and I was able to set her up with crayons,
stickers, etc and she would play.

My dd#2 had a child that was constantly in front of the TV - either
videos or programs. I think this is probably why. Since her mom was
one of these children too it didn't surprise me that her children were
also.


Now she is much more calm, loves to play quietly with her puzzles or books.

Sorry I don't have too much advice, just know that it WILL get better!

Good Luck,
Linda
Mommy to Sophie, 3 years
and Eva, 9 months

I think a child that runs away is a good candidate for a leash. Just
as you don't want to stick a child in front of the TV, you may also be
against a leash, but, at least when you are outside, I think this is
sensible. Of course she may not like being restrained either.

I would like to second the Leash idea, I got one for my daughter even though
I have always concidered them mean. Let me tell you what, I forgot to bring
my stroller to the airport with me and I have a VERY fast 2 year old and I
am definatly built for comfort I remembered the leash for when Bonnie wanted
to run arround. Anyway I heard TONS of people say that the leash was a good
idea. It is a harness type thing that could also be a wrist strap one but I
think the harness is actualy nicer then yanking them by the arm. It is
helpful for anytime you are in a large crowd or even in an open space.

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"Rosalie" wrote in message
om...
(GoofeeGyrl) wrote in message
...
So, sound familiar to anyone? Did it ever get better? WHEN? Thank
you!


She would run away wherever we were, she would routinely climb up on
everything, pull EVERYTHING down on the floor. We were living in an
apartment

I had one that did this too - usually after dinner. We went walking
after dinner until it was her bedtime.

then and there were not too many options to hide away things (books were
her
favorite, every single night in her bed she would take out all her books
and
toys and put them all over the floor). She moved out of her crib at
about 20
months (tried a crib tent, that worked for a few months but eventually
she
screamed whenever she was in there so we moved her to a toddler bed) so
from
then on, bedtime was a nighmare,

I don't have too many words of wisdom. I pretty much just stayed at
home with
her unless DH was able to go out with us to help keep track of her fast
little
toddler feet running away all the time. We did take a long walk every
day, as




she loved that and would stay still. It gave me some time to decompress
too.
Don't know if this is possible for you with older kids, weather, etc.

Just before she turned two, I found out I was pregnant and that's when
the TV
started--Sometimes I just did not have the energy to keep up with her
and used
it frequently. Sometime during my pregnancy, she started to calm down.
Her
attention span started to get longer and I was able to set her up with
crayons,
stickers, etc and she would play.

My dd#2 had a child that was constantly in front of the TV - either
videos or programs. I think this is probably why. Since her mom was
one of these children too it didn't surprise me that her children were
also.


Now she is much more calm, loves to play quietly with her puzzles or
books.

Sorry I don't have too much advice, just know that it WILL get better!

Good Luck,
Linda
Mommy to Sophie, 3 years
and Eva, 9 months

"Sophie" wrote in message ...
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Nevermind wrote:


So, sound familiar to anyone?

Yep. We call Genevieve the Agent of Entropy.

Yeah really, sounds like how Patrick was. And Lewis at 2.5 is still
"spirited" as they say - lol.

Did it ever get better? WHEN? Thank you!

Sorry, we're behind you on this curve ;-) Colin
was like this too, and he's six now, and still an Agent
of Entropy.

Hang tough,
Ericka

Patrick's better/calmer now at 4.5 but he's still destructive (he has a
flushing fascination). And now he has a partner in crime - lol.

Sorry but "super active" and "toddler" naturally go together to me. Sounds
normal just annoying and tiring.


Yeh, I guess you're right, and I need to remind myself of that and
stop pathologizing this baby's behavior.

My 2nd child was and is physically timid (like her mom), so she did
not pose these particular challenges, but my oldest was most
definitely a fast go-getter. I think what he lacked was the interest
in *climbing*, which limited his destructiveness. And he was an only
child, and I worked full-time outside the home until he was almost 2.

Thanks to all who responded so far. I think I will, for the hell of
it, try to manage the elimination suggestions Beth mentioned, and I
have been meaning to try a leash. That may make situations like the
library do-able again (or it may cause shrieking; we'll see).

Thanks again!!

Nevermind wrote:

Yeh, I guess you're right, and I need to remind myself of that and
stop pathologizing this baby's behavior.

;-) Maybe it's pathological and maybe not, but
knowing doesn't do much good anyway!

My 2nd child was and is physically timid (like her mom), so she did
not pose these particular challenges, but my oldest was most
definitely a fast go-getter. I think what he lacked was the interest
in *climbing*, which limited his destructiveness. And he was an only
child, and I worked full-time outside the home until he was almost 2.

My first was (and still is, a little) physically
timid (note that he's the one who has ADHD ;-) My second
was fast and highly active but not a climber. My third
seems hell bent on climbing as well as being fast and
active, so she's worrying me ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka