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  #1  
Old November 26th 06, 07:24 AM posted to alt.child-support
Dave
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Posts: 6
Default Lowest of the low

We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and
losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of
the time.

I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried
fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against
our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our
responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to
"step up to the plate".

That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any
rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I
was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court
and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week
and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no
mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a
later date.

When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I
supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks!
  #2  
Old November 26th 06, 04:45 PM posted to alt.child-support
Werebat
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 109
Default Lowest of the low



Dave wrote:
We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and
losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of
the time.

I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried
fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against
our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our
responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to
"step up to the plate".

That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any
rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I
was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court
and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week
and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no
mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a
later date.

When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I
supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks!


The situation will be corrected BY THE STATE only when it become
fiscally beneficial FOR THE STATE to do so. Be that by an increase in
revenue or a decrease in expense.

What can fathers do to make it EXPENSIVE for the State to continue
ignoring their rights?

- Ron ^*^

  #3  
Old November 26th 06, 07:23 PM posted to alt.child-support
Dave
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 6
Default Lowest of the low

On Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:45:55 -0500 Werebat wrote
Dave wrote:
We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and
losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of
the time.

I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried
fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against
our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our
responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to
"step up to the plate".

That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any
rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I
was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court
and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week
and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no
mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a
later date.

When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I
supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks!


The situation will be corrected BY THE STATE only when it become
fiscally beneficial FOR THE STATE to do so. Be that by an increase in
revenue or a decrease in expense.

What can fathers do to make it EXPENSIVE for the State to continue
ignoring their rights?

- Ron ^*^


I would love nothing more than making it as expensive as possible for
the state to trample on my rights this way! I wonder what would happen
if the family court was flooded with motions from people such as
myself, asking for visitation and/or custody all around the same time
period? What if they had a huge pile of paperwork they had to handle
dumped in their laps. It would make sense for them to deal with it by
having, at the very least, some kind of default visitation built in
along with the support orders. It would also slow down the process for
getting support orders in place which might also encourage some people
to seek another way of handling support. Since the default notion is
that any father should be a decent enough guy to support their own
child, the default notion should also be that a father is not
dangerous enough to be denied visitation. Of course, there'd have to
be a way to keep dangerous parents (both male and female) away from
their children.
  #4  
Old November 26th 06, 08:49 PM posted to alt.child-support
Dale
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 95
Default Lowest of the low


"Dave" wrote in

I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried
fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against
our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our
responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to
"step up to the plate".


Unfortunately we all have to find out the hard way what the State's idea of
an obligation is.
It's 18 years of financial devastation for you and you have no say in the
child's well being.

What should be mandatory before the birth of any child is a contract or
agreement that outlines the total financial plan and custody conditions, so
that everyone understands their obligations when the child arrives. As in
any contract, there should be an option to opt out of any binding condition
that you feel you cannot meet. There should be an option for single birth
fathers to opt out if a pregnancy is forced on them. Legal abandonment is
then presumed and the birth mother can then choose to either abort, raise
the child on her own or put the child up for adoption.

This all might sound a bit sanitized, but we have reached a day and age
where government agencies are acting on obligations that have never legally
been defined. While I strongly don't believe in murdering a child
(abortion) for the sake of convenience, there should be other legal options
for unwanted births that birth fathers should be fully made aware of. Too
many birth fathers just assume they don't have any options.

All we have right now for NCP's is legalized government oppression!


  #5  
Old November 27th 06, 04:06 AM posted to alt.child-support
Werebat
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 109
Default Lowest of the low



Dave wrote:

On Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:45:55 -0500 Werebat wrote
Dave wrote:

We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and
losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of
the time.

I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried
fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against
our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our
responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to
"step up to the plate".

That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any
rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I
was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court
and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week
and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no
mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a
later date.

When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I
supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks!


The situation will be corrected BY THE STATE only when it become
fiscally beneficial FOR THE STATE to do so. Be that by an increase in
revenue or a decrease in expense.

What can fathers do to make it EXPENSIVE for the State to continue
ignoring their rights?

- Ron ^*^



I would love nothing more than making it as expensive as possible for
the state to trample on my rights this way! I wonder what would happen
if the family court was flooded with motions from people such as
myself, asking for visitation and/or custody all around the same time
period? What if they had a huge pile of paperwork they had to handle
dumped in their laps. It would make sense for them to deal with it by
having, at the very least, some kind of default visitation built in
along with the support orders. It would also slow down the process for
getting support orders in place which might also encourage some people
to seek another way of handling support. Since the default notion is
that any father should be a decent enough guy to support their own
child, the default notion should also be that a father is not
dangerous enough to be denied visitation. Of course, there'd have to
be a way to keep dangerous parents (both male and female) away from
their children.


Yep.

Of course the key to all of this is -- organization, organization,
organization.

I'd happily join a local father's rights group -- if there were one.
The nearest one I know of is in another state, working to deal with the
problems in another state. Right now I've got too much on my plate to
form such an organization myself.

But Rhode Island is a special case. It's small enough that most people
actually KNOW one or more politically influential people. This can be
good, and it can be bad.

A tiny state like RI is harder to scrape together an organization in,
but once it's formed, even a tiny organization probably has more clout
than it would elsewhere.

- Ron ^*^

  #6  
Old November 29th 06, 11:04 AM posted to alt.child-support
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12
Default Lowest of the low


Werebat wrote:
Dave wrote:

On Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:45:55 -0500 Werebat wrote
Dave wrote:

We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and
losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of
the time.

I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried
fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against
our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our
responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to
"step up to the plate".

That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any
rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I
was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court
and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week
and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no
mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a
later date.

When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I
supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks!

The situation will be corrected BY THE STATE only when it become
fiscally beneficial FOR THE STATE to do so. Be that by an increase in
revenue or a decrease in expense.

What can fathers do to make it EXPENSIVE for the State to continue
ignoring their rights?

- Ron ^*^



I would love nothing more than making it as expensive as possible for
the state to trample on my rights this way! I wonder what would happen
if the family court was flooded with motions from people such as
myself, asking for visitation and/or custody all around the same time
period? What if they had a huge pile of paperwork they had to handle
dumped in their laps. It would make sense for them to deal with it by
having, at the very least, some kind of default visitation built in
along with the support orders. It would also slow down the process for
getting support orders in place which might also encourage some people
to seek another way of handling support. Since the default notion is
that any father should be a decent enough guy to support their own
child, the default notion should also be that a father is not
dangerous enough to be denied visitation. Of course, there'd have to
be a way to keep dangerous parents (both male and female) away from
their children.


Yep.

Of course the key to all of this is -- organization, organization,
organization.

I'd happily join a local father's rights group -- if there were one.
The nearest one I know of is in another state, working to deal with the
problems in another state. Right now I've got too much on my plate to
form such an organization myself.

But Rhode Island is a special case. It's small enough that most people
actually KNOW one or more politically influential people. This can be
good, and it can be bad.

A tiny state like RI is harder to scrape together an organization in,
but once it's formed, even a tiny organization probably has more clout
than it would elsewhere.

- Ron ^*^


I got the perfect name for a Fathers rights organization.

Fathers United

Just tell the ex-wives that "F.U." is coming.

  #7  
Old November 29th 06, 12:24 PM posted to alt.child-support
Patrick Lee
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 50
Default Lowest of the low


I thought you were not in the Gloom and Doom
crowd Dave.....LOL

 




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